Can You Love, But Not Like?

25 Jan 2016 94 Comments

by Ritu in Thoughts Opinions & Memories Tags: , , , , ,

wpid-wp-1445288367160.png

Have you ever felt that way?

You love a person with all your heart, but you don’t like them?

It doesn’t have to be thinking of just romantic love, it can be a sensation that is felt across the board.

You know, when you love your parents, but when they deny you the pleasure of going out somewhere, or buying you some much coveted trainers, when you where younger, you soooo don’t like them!  It’s teen angst, we are all allowed that feeling!

Or your siblings.  God knows I love my brother, but there were times as youngsters, when I really didn’t like him, and I am pretty sure he didn’t like me! Those times when he got what I wanted, or got me into trouble with the parents for something, then sat there sniggering…. Ooooh I really didn’t like him then!  That is a siblings prerogative, though, and more often than not, you get older and realise what they actually mean to you.

And within your romantic relationships, you can love someone, not want to live without them, but there are things they do, or maybe something happens and you really don’t like them for what they did.  It may be their behaviour towards someone else, or a really bad habit. Love is strange, as you learn to accept certain things, maybe not for the right reasons, but because you love that person.

And why stop there…

What about your chidren?

I love my kids with all my heart, but sometimes when they do things I really don’t like them! It’s like when Lil Princess whines, or I hear that she may be being a little madam with some of her friends… I will never stop loving her, but I definitely don’t like her then.  Does that make me a bad parent?

What do you think?

94 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. tjt072
    Mar 17, 2016 @ 05:52:14

    It makes you human. I sometimes get that way too. I think we all do at some point.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    • Ritu
      Mar 17, 2016 @ 07:47:44

      I’m just glad I’m not the only one… This particular child of mine, oh I love her to bits, but she is definitely going through a testing boundaries phase… But it seems to have been going on for a long time!!!!

      Like

      Reply

  2. Vashti Quiroz-Vega
    Feb 13, 2016 @ 01:33:29

    I can relate to this because there are a few people that I love very much but don’t like. I guess our personalities clash and we can’t spend more than a couple of hours together. It’s one of those things. I would never wish them harm. I actually care very much about them but I just don’t like them. It’s confusing.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  3. itsgoodtobecrazysometimes
    Jan 31, 2016 @ 19:18:14

    I know exactly what you mean, my little boy is going through testing boundries with added strops and I have to walk away from him, because shouting doesn’t work

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  4. afternoonofsundries
    Jan 31, 2016 @ 02:36:26

    I love my mother, on a level I think- but I don’t like her. She abused us physically and was neglectful to the point of it being criminal – and yet… The heart and mind are so very complex.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  5. amaya911
    Jan 28, 2016 @ 00:55:51

    I think so. I think they just get on your nerves but it doesn’t mean you don’t love them or care about them.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  6. se11fa
    Jan 27, 2016 @ 20:33:28

    You are right we cannot like everything the people we love do, believe or think. I do not think that you mean here, literally, that you hate them instead you hate the act they did or their thoughts. There is difference between hating someone’s actions and hating them personally. It is just my opinion.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  7. se11fa
    Jan 27, 2016 @ 20:26:58

    You are right we cannot like everything the people we love do, believe or think. I do not think that you mean here, literally, that you hate them instead you hate the act they did or their thoughts. There is difference between hating someone and hating them personaly. It is just my opinion.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  8. Heartafire
    Jan 27, 2016 @ 20:03:06

    the lovehate relationship…quite common!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  9. Anna
    Jan 27, 2016 @ 19:17:34

    Reblogged this on Annas Art – FärgaregårdsAnna and commented:

    I haven’t thought of it that way, but I think Ritu is right. Love never ends but likes comes and goes/Anna

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  10. Anna
    Jan 27, 2016 @ 19:08:00

    Great post. Thanks, you just helped me to solve a thinking problem. It is exactly as you say. You can love people but not like the way they act sometime. I haven’t thought of it that way before. Love never ends but likes comes and goes 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

  11. R. Todd
    Jan 26, 2016 @ 22:36:03

    Yes, yes you can. There is a saying my wife and I have, “I will always love you, but right now I don’t really like you.” I say that because love is a choice, not an emotion, not a feeling, not a potter patter of romance. And I think we get that mixed up all the time.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

  12. Judy Martin
    Jan 26, 2016 @ 21:20:41

    I think it is only natural to feel like this Ritu. We all have some little trait or behaviour that others may find hard to take, even if they really love us. I know Miss Hap, does things that made me angry, and there have been a couple of times, I have not liked her very much! I am sure I drive her mad too, and she doesn’t like me at times either!

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

  13. joey
    Jan 26, 2016 @ 17:55:10

    Of course!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  14. Timi Adigun
    Jan 26, 2016 @ 08:39:37

    You will always “like” the people you “love” but would not “like” the things they do. Same with us and God. He “loves” us ALL the time but “hates” not even “dislikes” some things we do.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

  15. Shivangi
    Jan 26, 2016 @ 05:56:41

    Ritu… I really don’t know how you come up with such readable stuff everytime. You are wonderful and this post is lovely. I agree that you can love someone but not like them at times… We are no saints!

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

  16. Bhramori
    Jan 26, 2016 @ 05:46:35

    Yes, it definitely happens! Like, there are some times when my best friend — whom I absolutely love, by the way — does something and at that time I feel like I simply can’t stand her! But then it all gets back to normal in a while and everything’s cool. I guess these non-liking phases ARE a part of loving that person? The very fact that you can have disagreements — even serious arguments — with someone without it really affecting your relationship in the long run, IS proof of how much love and understanding exists between you.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

  17. Nandini Bharadwaj
    Jan 26, 2016 @ 04:31:27

    It’s completely normal to feel that way, for negative emotions are the flip side of the coin and one can’t always be positive.
    However, there’s one thing that I would like to add as a daughter. Don’t ever tell your kids that you don’t like them at a particularly difficult moment. It’s pretty damaging to the child’s self-image. Admonishing them is fine when they’ve made a grave mistake, but they should never get the feeling that you don’t like them, for it’s easy to construe that as not being loved.

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply

  18. syl65
    Jan 26, 2016 @ 04:22:41

    I think it’s the behavior that gets to you. I have people I work with that have a tendency to complain, complain, and complain…did I say complain?… at those moments I dislike them because they are bringing me down, but overall they are good, nice people, I have love for the as fellow human beings.. I would tip the scale on you being a good parent 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

  19. Fourth Generation Farmgirl
    Jan 26, 2016 @ 04:07:48

    I think feeling that way at times is completely human.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

  20. Ompong
    Jan 26, 2016 @ 04:04:38

    Yup… And it is really ironic isn’t it? You love them but sometimes, you dislike what they’ve done. And that is where the line is… You love a person but may dislike their actions.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

  21. oxygen4thejourney
    Jan 26, 2016 @ 02:49:37

    I think everyone can relate to this! There are some people I can easily add to that list.
    I think, we get annoyed with them and its a build up of tiny things…. but if we knew they were in trouble it could be something we get over real quick.
    When all is said and dont we love them.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

  22. sheldonk2014
    Jan 26, 2016 @ 01:32:03

    All the time

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

  23. Elizabeth B.
    Jan 26, 2016 @ 01:29:13

    I think any mature relationship (I say mature because kids in kindergarten and stuff tend to give up relationships the second they disagree about something) is like this. I love my husband to death, and will do anything for him, but there have definitely been moments where I want nothing to do with him right that minute. I would drop everything in a moment if my sister needed anything, but most of the time we don’t like each other much. And the teen angst thing can definitely carry over into adulthood 😛

    Liked by 4 people

    Reply

  24. Natalia Erehnah
    Jan 26, 2016 @ 00:49:33

    Sounds normal to me. And honest.

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply

  25. mitchteemley
    Jan 26, 2016 @ 00:48:48

    If there’s anyone most people love but don’t like, it’s themselves.

    Liked by 4 people

    Reply

  26. Holly Jahangiri
    Jan 26, 2016 @ 00:32:41

    It makes you normal. And thank God my mother told me that before my firstborn came into the world. “Like” is not a permanent state of emotional being. I could LIKE you today and not want to be around you tomorrow – but if I LOVE you, that’s not going to change. I actually got so frustrated at my daughter, once, that I snarled “I hate your guts!” (Pretty sure I put my hands on my hips and glared, too.) She burst out laughing. “Really, Mom? What are you, in 8th grade?” Is there anything worse than when your child acts more mature than you – right after stepping on your LAST nerve and reducing you to a temper tantrum throwing toddler?) I love both of my children equally and fiercely and forever – but some days, one’s more likeable than the other, and they take turns at it. 🙂

    I don’t beat myself up too much over it. I know, now, how fiercely my mother loved me – and I know she also knew whereof she spoke in warning me there would be days I didn’t much like my own children. It’s all good. There are days I’m not too likeable, myself.

    Liked by 6 people

    Reply

  27. Donna
    Jan 26, 2016 @ 00:30:03

    Yes love my children but do not always like what they di

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

  28. Olga
    Jan 25, 2016 @ 23:40:23

    Totally agree with Erika. I really relate at this time in my life with the parental dislike of a child’s behavior. My youngest daughter moved back in last year and some of her initial choices completing traumatized my peaceful life. She initially labelled me as a ‘judgmental parent’ which I was, but in a loving way (I thought). When I backed off, our relationship improved immensely. She came to a realization herself about her part in creating a ‘loving’ relationship. Hope I haven’t said too much. Ha ha!

    Liked by 4 people

    Reply

  29. incahootswithmuddyboots
    Jan 25, 2016 @ 23:35:33

    Yes! Absolutely! There have been many moments when I didn’t like what my kids were doing, but I still loved them. Same with others I’m close too. I believe that it is healthy to be able to make that distinction!

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

  30. Erika Kind
    Jan 25, 2016 @ 23:25:18

    I guess that is when it is said you don’t dislike the person but the behavior, opinion, or attitude. Because what you love about the person is the being behind their appearance.

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply

  31. Cheyanne
    Jan 25, 2016 @ 23:13:13

    ABSOLUTELY! I always tell my coworkers, “I love all of you but sometimes I just don’t like working with you.” LOL

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply

Leave a comment

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

My interactive peeps!