But I Smile Anyway…

One from the Archives

Image from Google

Some days, I sit here, wanting to tear my hair out, watching the little people squabble with each other. “Mummy!!!!! He changed the channel!” “Mummy! she touched my light sabers!” “Mummy!! He said a bad word!”( usually something REALLY bad, like… Stupid!) I often tell them I’ve changed my name, mummy isn’t here, sort it out yourselves. Many times I have screamed like a banshee (not that it works), and am on the point of pulling my hair out, when I remember…

*dream sequence/flashback*
Many years ago, it was my poor, long suffering mother in the same position, being the referee between my Darling Brother and I!

Oh my! The feelings were sometimes bordering on pure hatred between us, well, with the limited emotional experience at the tender ages of 6 and 9, this was as strong a hatred as we probably knew (for our sibling, oh and also for things like vegetables)!

The fighting over the best seat in the living room, the last chocolate… Actually, scrap that. Do you know what? Thinking back, I know that we had that all typical big sister/little brother relationship, full of petty squabbles, pushes and shoves, but I really can’t remember any one time that made my blood boil! Ask the 15 year old me that same question, and I’d probably have a list a mile long!

The things I remember, are how cute he actually was, even in anger! His obsession with being a policeman, carrying a toy gun everywhere. In fact we were at the airport, about to board a flight to visit family in Kenya and he sparked an alert! So said ‘toy’ gun got confiscated, and he never got it back!

And when my Big Sister love and protective instinct really kicked in! Those who know me, know I am a pretty chilled person, not argumentative, or confrontational at all, but one day, at a cousin’s house, I was chatting with my girl cousins and he was outside with the boyz. I overheard someone saying something to him, and honestly, I can’t remember what, but the feeling of ‘ how dare you say that to MY brother!’ kicked in. I rushed outside, and squared up to said cousin, and said “how dare you say…(whatever) to my brother?” And promptly punched him in the mouth! So now I can say, not with great pride, that I gave someone a bloody mouth with one punch! This lovely cousin and I reminisce and laugh over it now! He’s a dad of 2 now and so calm, and peaceful, but then, he was like a whirlwind, a Tasmanian Devil, always getting up to mischief!

My brother and I grew up, he went to boarding school, I was at home then went off to university. This was when our relationship really started to change. He started asking my opinion, and, sometimes, valuing my advice. And I realized that this little brother was not so little anymore. He sometimes even talked sense!!! Slowly my brother was becoming a young man. Interested in girls, going out with the lads, and he’d tell me about things going on in his life.

We started to share our little secrets with each other, and we weren’t judging one another, we were being each other’s support. And this has continued. He’s been living abroad for a while now. He travelled around after I got married, did things I didn’t get a chance to do… Lived in Dubai, met his would-be wife, and now is settled in Finland.

We don’t get to chat as often as I’d like, and seeing each other face to face… hardly! But, as I posted before, Skype is a great thing! I love him to bits, and my wonderful sister-in-law too. Wouldn’t change them for anything… However, if I could change anything, it would be their location! Nearer us, with my beautiful nephew would be great, but that’s not in my hands!

So thinking back to the start of this post, I know the monkeys are always at each others throats, at the moment, but if they have a relationship anything like me and my brother’s, it will be the most sacred, beautiful relationship around! Siblings… No one else can appreciate your family foibles like your siblings! And accept you for who you are.

Love you Darling Brother! 💞💕