What Do You Feel Like After A Near Miss?

02 Mar 2017 94 Comments

by Ritu in Thoughts Opinions & Memories Tags: , , , , , ,

It’s not been a week since I had my rather dramatic accident, and I am sat here at home feeling rather contemplative…

I came out of a written-off car and looked physically unscathed. In fact, other than a sore neck and the shakes (from the shock) I felt fine.

Still, I was advised by all who called/messaged/saw me, to rest up and take it easy.

I guess that was the obvious thing to do.

It’s hard to not feel almost like a phoney for being off work when it doesn’t look like you are unwell. Other than the fetching collar that I have to wear in the car when travelling, I guess I look pretty much normal. But the days that followed the accident showed me exactly how much I really needed to rest.

Day 1 – THE INCIDENT

After leaving the hospital, I was shaking… a lot. I felt tenderness in my neck and shoulders, but I was walking around and thought I was ok. A hot bath, turmeric milk courtesy of my Pops and Ibuprofen were the climax of a highly emotional 16 hours.

Day 2 – GETTING HOME

The A & E doctor was right to advise me to sleep with painkillers by my side. I woke with extreme pain in the neck and upper back. I stayed in bed most of the morning, ringing the insurance, and taking time to reflect on the goings on of the day before, writing my post to you all. After a shower, we ate lunch, I popped more pills and waited for Hubby Dearest to come and pick me up.

The drive home was weird. I wasn’t sure how I would feel, driving by the location of the accident. Would it panic me? Would I just not want to go there? Actually none of those. I pointed the exact spot to my Hubby Dearest, quite calmly, and was surprised to still see my bumper gracing the central reservation!

I was conscious that he had been driving for over 5 hours and offered to take the wheel… but he refused even though I assured him I wasn’t planning on writing off all the family cars!

Sleep came to me and when we arrived back, I was greeted with many gentle hugs from my children and in-laws.

Coming to our house, I tried to be as normal as possible, getting the children’s things together for school, then after they went to bed, had another hot bath then bed.

Day 3 – SEEING THE GP AND GETTING MY COURTESY CAR

I was up at the crack of dawn as usual. But I wasn’t going to work, obviously. The kids were pretty good, getting ready, and Hubby Dearest deposited them at school. My pains had moved around a bit now, to include the lower back and the chest and abdomen area where my belt would have tightened around me. Stiffness had set in a bit too. Hello, Painkillers!

The GP was horrified at the details of the accident, as was the lovely receptionist. He advised at least this week off, and gave me a prescription for stronger painkillers if need be, and that I should see how I feel come Monday. If need be, he would sign me off for longer. But in the meantime, I need to try and move around gently and only try light jobs around the house. Only if I was capable of these tasks, should I even try to think of going back to work.

Also, I needed to wait a few weeks to see whether I needed to be referred for any physiotherapy. Only time will tell.

We picked up my courtesy car too, a cute little Toyota! Hubby was weary of me driving it, but one thing I remember from after the accident was that one of the women who stopped and waited with me mentioned getting back behind the wheel sooner rather than later. She had been in an accident like this before and said that if she hadn’t driven straight away, she may have never driven again.

So I drove, slowly, back home. It was a short journey. I was a little nervous, but not scared. At least that was one battle overcome!

Another bath and an early night, accompanied by more drugs.

But not before the reality of what had happened to me really hit home. Getting short flashbacks of the accident, and thinking back to what could have happened, and just how lucky I was, caused the tears to flow. Hubby Dearest was, and is, my rock.

Day 4 – FEELING LIKE A PHONEY

I woke up on Tuesday and didn’t quite leap from bed, but felt a lot better. Getting the kids ready for school was a relative doddle, and Hubby Dearest dropped them off. Then the pains kicked in. The stiffness spread to my upper legs now too.

Ok, maybe I wasn’t quite right yet.

Another day on the sofa or in bed, watching films and reading. It wasn’t too bad, but I felt guilty being at home, rather than with my colleagues and class. But then, knowing that I could manage 30-40 minutes of gentle activity before feeling like cr@p, meant I couldn’t really be in charge of a class all day.

I went alone to pick the kids up from my in-laws in the evening, and I was okay.

I was concerned about how all this was affecting my children, so I asked them. Surprisingly, they were both fine. Children are more resilient than we think. “Mummy, when we heard about the accident, we were so worried, but when we spoke to you then we were fine, ” Lil Man said. “And seeing you the next day Mummy, we knew you were okay,” said Lil Princess.

The evening passed with no major incidents and was the first night I didn’t have a bath. I was tired, and the painkillers seemed to have helped the aches. Bedtime.

Day 5 – OVERDOING IT

I woke up to a lot of stiffness. Reminded Hubby Dearest to force me to have my bath tonight.

But I felt awake and full of jumping beans. Enough so that I volunteered to drop the kids to school. And that was fine too. There was no standing around involved, just them jumping out of the car. Came home and perched myself on the sofa, watching more films, reading, and scheduling posts. After lunch, a little sleep, and then I went to pick Lil Princess up. She finished late as she had a club so I figured that there wouldn’t be too many people around, and I would be saving my Father-in-law a journey too.

Maybe this was where I overestimated my body’s ability to cope.

I was ok there, but waiting for a while for her, I was feeling the cold more. A few colleagues saw me and rushed over to have a quick catch up. “What are you doing here?” was the main question, followed by “How are you?” and “What the heck happened?”.

Forty minutes later we got home, and I was feeling wiped out.

I was determined to get an early night after a hot bath.

But had to contend with a moody tween who was unable to perfect some stunt scooter move (?!) and a smaller tween fussing about her costume for World Book Day which was happening the next day.

The wave of tiredness caught up with me and at 10.30pm I woke up realising I was meant to be having a soak, not going to sleep! So I duly filled the tub and stepped in. It was relaxing but made me want to fall asleep. Then the wind started howling, and I couldn’t help but feel anxious. One possible cuplrit of the accident was the winds that had been blowing that day, and hearing them outside, I started to involuntarily relive the accident…

I got out as soon as I could and went straight to bed, firmly cuddled up to my Superhero hubby.

Day 6 – WIPEOUT

Oh my, where has my energy gone?

I woke up as usual early and had intended on getting Hubby Dearest to drop the kids off, but I decided I would go and pop into school to see my Head Teacher.

Today was the first day I felt that maybe it was going to take longer than a week to get fit enough for school, and I wanted to mention this to her personally.

My boss and colleagues are lovely and the people I met while there were so concerned, it was heart warming. I mentioned waiting until Monday before knowing what next week would hold to my Head, and she understood. I need to take care of my health first and foremost.

Coming home I sat down and felt like rubbish. I was/am drained today.

I didn’t even have the energy to hold my Kindle in my hand. I lay comatose on the sofa, watching a film, then turned over and went to sleep.

Lunch was followed by more sleeping.

And this is how my days have gone.

Getting up, I get a little dizzy. The aches are basically everywhere. I can move around for a short while before things catch up with me. But I feel generally drained of energy.

Thank goodness for tablets and heat sprays, hot water bottles and support pillows!

I feel blessed to be here. 

I feel blessed for all the people in my life who have shown so much concern for me.

And I now understand that I have to listen to my body, and not my guilty conscience. If I am not ready to get back to full functionality, I have to rest up. Pushing myself before I am able will only detrimental to me in the long run.

Thank you, everyone, for all your messages of support. ❤

 

94 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Trackback: Back in the Saddle | But I Smile Anyway...

  2. Bernadette
    Mar 09, 2017 @ 20:53:35

    Ritu, after an accident it takes several weeks to realize all the damage to your body that has occurred. In the beginning you are running on the high of adrenaline because you escaped being killed. Take it slow girlfriend.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    • Ritu
      Mar 09, 2017 @ 21:07:20

      Thank you Bernadette. Nearly 2 weeks have passed now. The aches are definitely better. The post traumatic stress kicks in and I feel exhausted all of a sudden… it’s a long road in total but I’m on the way to recovery. 😘

      Liked by 1 person

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  3. Tikeetha T
    Mar 03, 2017 @ 15:27:34

    Take it easy Ritu. Get rest and just listen to your body.

    Liked by 1 person

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  4. The Indecisive Eejit
    Mar 03, 2017 @ 12:51:45

    Yep, baby steps it should be. Hope you start to feel like yourself soon, when you’re used to being on the go being laid up can get you down, I know from experience, but this is only temporary so allow yourself the time to heal x

    Liked by 1 person

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  5. Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, MCC, SCAC
    Mar 03, 2017 @ 09:45:39

    GOOD for you – listening to your body and not your guilt at being a hurt human being and not superwoman! I’m glad you feel up to blogging about it. Processing is important. Stuffing it in is a recipe for PTSD. Smart, too, to drive again ASAP.

    My prayers are with you.
    xx,
    mgh
    (Madelyn Griffith-Haynie – ADDandSoMuchMORE dot com)
    ADD Coach Training Field founder; ADD Coaching co-founder
    “It takes a village to transform a world!”

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  6. The Showers of Blessing
    Mar 03, 2017 @ 08:39:31

    Oh, Ritu, You must be quite shaken by the accident! I’m glad you kind of take it easy and rest and take hot bath and sleep, and let your hubby help. It must feel good that your colleagues are so understanding. Yes, take care of yourself first. Don’t rush back to work yet. The work is always there. There is only one “you.” Your hubby and your kids need you to be well. So it’s good that you could rest. Yes, if your neck pain persists, you may need PT.
    I had a car accident like yours. I think I had a flat tire, then my car was spinning in the middle of the freeway around and around until it hit the side of the barrier and stopped. I wasn’t hurt. But it was almost like a miracle. When my car was spinning, there were no cars near mine. After my car hit something and stopped, I saw a whole bunch of cars coming behind me – there was no logical reason for it. Furthermore, the first car was a police car. He escorted me off the freeway to a safe spot for me to call my insurance!!

    Liked by 2 people

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  7. NJ
    Mar 03, 2017 @ 05:41:11

    Take rest from all the things for some time 🙂 Give yourself recovering time both mentally and physically 🙂 Take care dear 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

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  8. Aimer Boyz
    Mar 03, 2017 @ 05:19:09

    So sorry to read about your accident. I can’t imagine anything more scary.
    We all spend so much time in our cars that we forget how dangerous it can be.

    Take it easy, you deserve it 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

  9. willowdot21
    Mar 03, 2017 @ 00:44:44

    Take care Sis I am thinking of you , it may take longer than you think it might but you will be well soon! Big hugs ❤ ❤ 🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂

    Liked by 2 people

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  10. Rae Longest
    Mar 02, 2017 @ 23:07:56

    What an experience. I mean the slow recovery/comeback. That is helping me to know from what you’ve written that it is ok to take it slow when you need to. thank you.

    Liked by 2 people

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  11. Jim
    Mar 02, 2017 @ 22:30:24

    one day at a time. get better soon sweetie! 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

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  12. vanbytheriver
    Mar 02, 2017 @ 22:20:54

    So glad you are paying attention to your body, Ritu. Take it slow, heal properly, and try to relinquish a bit of that “sense of responsibility”. This was trauma, pure and simple. Respect that. Be well. Many hugs to you. ❤️

    Liked by 2 people

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  13. Judy E Martin
    Mar 02, 2017 @ 21:22:10

    Please don’t rush back into work, Sis! You do need to listen to your body and give yourself the time it needs to heal properly.
    You want to be back to your best when you return to work, and ggoing back too early could set you back a lot longer in the long run. xxx

    Liked by 2 people

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  14. Erika Kind
    Mar 02, 2017 @ 21:10:30

    I don’t need to repeat what you already know and what everybody says… but I do it anyway…. lol… just take your time and allow yourself to rest. I know it is not easy but everybody understands. It is interesting that we would grant it everyone else but have difficulties granting it ourselves! Huge hugs, Sis 💖

    Liked by 2 people

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  15. sheldonk2014
    Mar 02, 2017 @ 20:43:23

    You take it easy and put your feet up

    Liked by 2 people

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  16. http://www.salpa58.wordpress.com
    Mar 02, 2017 @ 20:18:09

    Your body has gone through a trauma, listen to it and don’t try to outsmart it. Rest and do go to the doctor and let him/her know what is going on. It’s always good to get a medical opinion,. Keep well. xo

    Liked by 2 people

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    • Ritu
      Mar 02, 2017 @ 20:27:00

      Thank you. My Dr is very good. He saw me on Monday and told me to keep in touch for anything. I also have several medical professionals in the family so am getting great support from Them too xx

      Liked by 2 people

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  17. Cheila
    Mar 02, 2017 @ 20:17:06

    I’m glad you’re okay. I had a car accident in December (My friend was driving on the highway, she was going to make a wrong turn and so she turned the steering wheel too fast and lost control of the car and we bumped really hard on the cement road separator). I banged my head and neck pretty hard and went to the hospital by ambulance. They discharged me on the same night but on the next day I woke up full of bruises, all over my body and with pain all over. I had to be in bed for a week before I could walk without pain. It was really scary. I hope you’re feeling better by now.

    Liked by 3 people

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  18. Traci York
    Mar 02, 2017 @ 18:19:55

    Yikes! Glad you were able to hop back in the saddle/driver’s seat with little issue. Sorry to hear (but not at all surprised) that you’re still having physical issues – hope you continue to take things slow, but that you heal up quick! Sending oodles of good energy your way! gentle hugs

    Liked by 2 people

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  19. floridaborne
    Mar 02, 2017 @ 18:18:53

    It takes time for your body to recuperate. When it comes to spinal injuries, problems can worsen. It’s best to give the body time to heal.

    Liked by 2 people

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  20. Dorinda Duclos
    Mar 02, 2017 @ 18:18:23

    I can totally relate to all of this! I was hit by a tractor-trailer 32 years ago. The policeman they sent, later told me, he was only sent out when a fatality had occurred. I told him I was sorry to mess up his day. PLEASE, take care of YOU! Everything else will happen when it’s time. The most important thing you can do right now is rest, rest and more rest. Let your body heal. everything will still be there when you’re ready 🙂 ❤

    Liked by 3 people

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  21. robbiesinspiration
    Mar 02, 2017 @ 18:13:23

    Shame, Ritu. I am so sorry to hear how unwell you have been. Most fortunately I have never been in an accident like this but the pain and stiffness sounds awful. Get better quickly.

    Liked by 2 people

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  22. syl65
    Mar 02, 2017 @ 18:12:56

    Yes Sister, take it easy and allow your whole being to heal, not just your body. 💜

    Liked by 2 people

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  23. Shivangi
    Mar 02, 2017 @ 18:02:31

    Rest Ritu and have plenty of sleep. You are an active person, you will heal quickly! Take care!

    Liked by 2 people

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  24. soulwriterforhim
    Mar 02, 2017 @ 18:01:44

    I’m glad you are doing better and allowing yourself to heal. I was in a head on collision 25 years ago, to this day I’ve suffered from many related injuries, I’ve had 2 joint replacements because of it. I had 27 broken bones at the time after impact. It takes a while for our minds and bodies to deal with the aftershock of a horrific accident. Shock is our bodies way of healing. Ritu – you are here for a reason, we are so blessed to have you. You are so gifted with your words, and sharing this story helps others who have gone similar incidents. You are not alone, and I look forward to reading your stories in the days to come. Angels have taken flight to watch over you – you are blessed!

    Liked by 2 people

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    • Ritu
      Mar 02, 2017 @ 18:53:00

      Thank you so much for your words. I always feel that to share is always going to help, be it help yourself or maybe someone else out there who is reading.
      I’m definitely listening to my body now. No more overdoing things. Just r and r until I feel better. 💛💜

      Liked by 2 people

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  25. keen peach
    Mar 02, 2017 @ 17:58:45

    It’s so crazy how the effects of accidents are delayed. So glad you are ok, this could have been SO AWFUL even though it was still really awful. Continue to rest up Ritu and hope you are back to 100% soon!

    Liked by 2 people

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  26. SickChristine
    Mar 02, 2017 @ 17:39:34

    It’s hard to slow down when you’re used to always being up and around. You’ve got to give it time and you don’t have to feel bad about it. You’ll be back to normal in no time.

    Liked by 2 people

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  27. Sue Vincent
    Mar 02, 2017 @ 17:31:14

    You’ll get well quicker if you take it gently for a while…and yes, listen to your body. x

    Liked by 3 people

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  28. pensitivity101
    Mar 02, 2017 @ 17:25:11

    Could be delayed shock too. Glad you’re on the mend, but a near miss like that tends to make you think, think what if, and think of some serious bad stuff..
    I spun my car in bad weather ending up inches from the wall in the school playground. Luckily for me the kids weren’t playing there yet. For years I didn’t drive in snow if I could avoid it, but living in Lincolnshire I had the opportunity to drive in similar snowy conditions when there was no other traffic in sight. I don’t like it, but at least I feel if the circumstances repeated themselves, I would have more confidence in my ability now. Take things slowly, your body is telling you you’re not ready yet.

    Liked by 2 people

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    • Ritu
      Mar 02, 2017 @ 17:28:38

      Thank you. Yes, this is a big lesson in learning to listen to my body, and to put myself first. If I am not right, I will never be able to do anything properly. It has also made me realise that as indespensible as I think I am, life can go on without me right there. Work will continue, I have lots of support with the children, and if the house doesn’t get cleaned properly for a while, we can live with it.
      I am here, that’s what matters. :0)

      Liked by 1 person

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  29. Tony Burgess
    Mar 02, 2017 @ 17:20:49

    It’s good you are writing this post. I am glad you are OK and are on the mend.

    Liked by 2 people

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    • Ritu
      Mar 02, 2017 @ 17:24:25

      Thank you Tony. It’s going to be a slow process, and I think writing about it will definitely help me. None of us are invincible, but we can go the long distance, if we listen to our bodies. That’s what I am learning to do. 🙂

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