My Mum And Me – Happy Mothers Day šŸ’–

26 Mar 2017 56 Comments

by Ritu in Thoughts Opinions & Memories Tags: , , , , , , ,

Mum, mom, mother, mama, maaā€¦

So many ways to describe that woman who gave birth to you, raised you, and made you what you areā€¦

I am very lucky, I have only had a positive experience of that maternal influence. My mother is one of the biggest influences and heroes in my life. She gave up everything to be a mother to my brother and I. We were fortunate in that, despite being in a new country, having moved from Kenya to the UK, my Pops, as a dentist, was financially secure enough that when God blessed them with their first child, me (most definitely a blessing!) she was able to be a Stay At Home Mum. In fact, they had been here a while, and my mother had been offered a job with the British Civil Service just before finding out she was expecting. But being the best mum she could be was more important than a career to her.

Being a girl and their first born was never an issue to my parents, though there were others we knew who were lamenting the birth of a girlā€¦ The first born should have been a boy, and all that, but it made no difference to them. My brother followed after 3 years and so, our family was complete.

motherhood

Motherhood

My mother and I

What do I remember about growing up? My mother being there every minute for us. From birth, we were the single most important aspect of her life. I was a food brat, she struggled to make me eat (unfortunately I donā€™t have that problem anymoreā€¦ My waist shows that!). She shed tears over the fact that I was not eating the wonderful dishes she created for me. But she managed, well Iā€™m standing here in front of you, writing about it, arenā€™t I?

She instilled a love of learning and for books and reading within me. Something I will be ever grateful to her for. She ferried us to and from school, to extra curricular activities, she ensured our homework was done on time. She didnā€™t force me into the kitchen to learn how to make roti, instead, preferring to make sure I was concentrating on my education, a gift that my parents gave us, a good education.

She taught us the importance of family, and all about respect for elders and youngers. She taught me, especially, how to be a great wife, and daughter in law too.

She had been my rock throughout my life, even now, as I am over 40, itā€™s my motherā€™s reassuring voice that lessens worry and pain, itā€™s my motherā€™s eyes that light up with pride when I achieve anything, and my motherā€™s hugs that make everything better.

My only wish, that I could be a mother like her, heck, even half like her would make me an awesome mum! My own journey to achieve that ā€˜motherā€™ status was a pretty tough road to travel, being diagnosed with Polycystic Ovaries. It took a couple of years of a medicated haze, and one step from the IVF route to fall pregnant with my first child.

During those tough years, I drew even more strength from my own mum, who fell pregnant with me pretty late, well it wasnā€™t the 9 months after marriage time frame that many Indian women were expected to conform to, anyway. She would be questioned by some insensitive people as to why she hadnā€™t given them some ā€˜good newsā€™ yet. It was my parents choice though, to set up home in a new country and give any prospective child a secure future first.

It echoed questions I was being asked, 4 years into my marriage too, but I would just say ā€œItā€™s all in Godā€™s handsā€ and it wasā€¦

I canā€™t speak about motherhood and not mention my Mother In Law either! Sheā€™s not your stereotypical Mum In Law. A lovely lady who gives me so much love, and is a wonderful grandma to my children too. And she gave me the most amazing husband too! She never once questioned my inability to conceive easily. Instead, she stood by me every step of the way too. The pain of those -vs tests were as much hers as mine, and the hope, with a missed period, aching breasts, she was there, alongside my own mother, willing me along.

So, once it finally happened, my son made his grand entrance, (on my mother’s birthday no less!) the task to be a good mother began. I felt I failed miserably, not being able to breast feed, but guess what, my mum didnā€™t either! The food situation, yup he was as tough as me to nourish, but you know what, we got through it, and when he was a little older, we thought the time was right for a try for number 2. The same medications, more complications resulting in me losing an ovary, made me think my son was going to be my one and only blessing.

But God blessed me three times after. Twice, my babies were too precious to Him, so He took them back to live with Him. Those tough times made my Mum-In-Law open up to her own 3 losses in between her 2 boys. Two miscarriages and one, she was advised to have a termination due to some abnormality with the fetus. She didnā€™t get much choice in those day, it was decided by the elders and her husband, and her being the good Indian wife, agreed, heavy heartedly.

Back to my journeyā€¦ After bidding my two angels farewell, another +ve test was confirmed. I was again so cautious, and this pregnancy resulted in the arrival of my beautiful daughter. Feeding was not an issue this time, and she was a dream babyā€¦

Now, 9 years later, I am a mother to a beautiful 9-year-old teenage daughter (yes, really!) and a wonderfully stroppy talented 11-year-old son.

motherhood-02

Motherhood 02

Me with my two blessings

Itā€™s not been an easy road, bringing them up. I have often sat back and thought, ā€˜was I really cut out for this?ā€™ but then I came to realise that you can only do your best, and if you have the right guidance behind you, you can be the most wonderful mother in the world! And honestly, though there are days I could tear my hair out, and scream and shout at them, I love them with all my heart and thank God every day for these two miracles.

My heart melts when they hug me, I feel so special when only ā€˜mummyā€™ will do when they are feeling upset or hurt. The smiles they give can turn an awful day into the best in the worldā€¦ Yup being a mum rocks!

I thank my mother, for giving me the best example I could have hoped for, as a mum. Like I said before, if my children think Iā€™m even half the mother that mine was to me, Iā€™d be a brilliant one!

Happy Mothers day to all you fantastic Mothers out there, today,and every day!

Taken from a guest post I wrote for The Champa Tree a couple of years back.

56 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Judy E Martin
    Mar 28, 2017 @ 12:06:38

    You are indeed a wonderful mum, Sis! i know you always want to do the best for your children, and love them and support them intensly.
    You have had two wonderful maternal role models in your life too.šŸ’–šŸ’–šŸ’–šŸ’–

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  2. Tikeetha T
    Mar 27, 2017 @ 14:40:05

    I love this Ritu! Happy Mother’s Day to you and your mom both.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  3. Persia Karema
    Mar 26, 2017 @ 21:41:20

    Aww, Ritu! šŸ’–

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  4. dornahainds
    Mar 26, 2017 @ 21:26:22

    A Joyous Mother’s Day, indeed. šŸŒ¹šŸ¾šŸŽŠ

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  5. fattymccupcakes
    Mar 26, 2017 @ 18:18:01

    Happy Mother’s Day! You were an ADORABLE kid!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  6. syl65
    Mar 26, 2017 @ 17:09:34

    You are a definitely a fantastic ( a notch above) daughter, sister, wife and mum! A beautiful tribute to your mum and mum in law ā¤

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  7. The Indecisive Eejit
    Mar 26, 2017 @ 16:52:56

    Ritu, ffs, you made my eyes leak! ā¤

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  8. masgautsen
    Mar 26, 2017 @ 15:20:31

    Lovely post. Happy mother’s day!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  9. Deb
    Mar 26, 2017 @ 15:06:09

    So beautiful Ritu!! What a lovely tribute to all of your family. It is such a blessing to have a Mum who is our hero, is there for us, teaches us, nourishes us, loves us! I’ve been so blessed too. As you get older you appreciate your mum more and more. Happy Mother’s Day to you and your Mums. We celebrate Mother’s Day in May…but really we should celebrate Mothers year round. I’m not a mom, well to our furry friends I have been and that’s almost the same!! šŸ˜‰ Hope your day is wonderful. xo

    Liked by 1 person

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    • Ritu
      Mar 26, 2017 @ 16:15:31

      Aw thank you Deb!!! Happy Mother’s Day to you too… I’m sure your furbabies would agree! And you’re right… it’s every day, not just one day, that we should celebrate mothers!

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  10. You Can Always Start Now
    Mar 26, 2017 @ 14:37:59

    That was an incredible story – I don’t think we tell people how much we care about them. We sometimes make the assumption they know. Your post was a tribute to those women and to yourself. Well done.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  11. Monika Sharma
    Mar 26, 2017 @ 14:26:15

    It’s a lovely post really very heart touching. The way you write it is amazing. šŸ‘

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  12. Shilpa Arya
    Mar 26, 2017 @ 14:18:28

    That’s a beautiful post -about moms and motherhood. The last photo with traditional attire is šŸ˜˜.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  13. willowdot21
    Mar 26, 2017 @ 14:00:39

    This beautiful Sis a beautiful tribute to both your Mums! You have had your trials too and survived! Happy Mother’s Day to all three of youšŸ’œšŸ’—šŸ’œ

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  14. Parul Thakur
    Mar 26, 2017 @ 13:30:56

    Such a lovely post, Ritu and the story you shared is heart-warming. The one with your kids in that traditional attire is sure a keeper. Stay blessed! ā¤

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  15. Traci York
    Mar 26, 2017 @ 13:11:24

    Such a wonderful and sweet tribute to your mother and mother-in-law, as well as your own journey! Happy Mother’s Day to you, RItu!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  16. Everything EmmZeeBee Blog
    Mar 26, 2017 @ 12:29:39

    Awwh, such a lovely post! I like how you said you have a 9 year old teenager! hehe

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  17. Hugh's Views and News
    Mar 26, 2017 @ 12:24:54

    Such a heartwarming post, Ritu. These are the posts which generate so much love throughout the world of blogging. Happy Mother’s Day to you and your mum. xx

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  18. Jim
    Mar 26, 2017 @ 12:17:30

    Happy Mother’s Day to you. šŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  19. Modern Gypsy
    Mar 26, 2017 @ 11:35:19

    Such a beautiful, heart warming post! Beautiful ode to mothers and my motherhood.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  20. thebeasley
    Mar 26, 2017 @ 11:25:35

    Lovely, heart-warming post Ritu. You’ve been bless in so many ways indeed xx

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  21. Gay Stepdad
    Mar 26, 2017 @ 10:50:58

    Looks like your mum did an amazing job Ritu x

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  22. Sue Vincent
    Mar 26, 2017 @ 08:06:06

    That’s a beautiful tribute to two very special ladies… and even though you did not write it for this reason, a tribute to you too, Ritu, as a woman and a mother. Happy mother’s day x

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

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