Home…?

05 Apr 2017 106 Comments

by Ritu in Family, Thoughts Opinions & Memories Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Where is your home?

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British Skies

I am not talking about the bricks and mortar that you spend the night in, where you have your family of friends living with you.

I mean where are you from, really?

A little scene I saw on a TV programme earlier made me think.

A Sri Lankan comedian, Romesh Ranganathan, was travelling around America and was entered into a chilli/hot food eating contest, and the cameraman was surprised that he found it so hard. Ranganathan asked him why he thought that he would have been ok eating pure chilli and the other guy couldn’t really answer. Because he assumed that being brown skinned meant being immune to the properties of all the chillies and spices in the whole world.

The thing is, Romesh was born and brought up in the UK, in Crawley. Not in Sri Lanka.

And the same goes for me. Born and brought up in Birmingham, in the UK, I abhor chilli. Spice, I can cope with, but not hot food! I will often add to my introduction of myself that I am a bad Indian, as I can’t eat hot food!

But how Indian am I?

Genetically I am 100% Indian, born to Indian parents, but they were born in Kenya. So are they Indian or Kenyan?

Similarly, am I Indian, Kenyan, or British?

If someone was to shout out to me to go home, back to where I came from, do they mean I should leave the Garden of England, in Kent, and scurry off, tail between my legs, back to Birmingham? Or are they referring to my skin, and telling me to go back to whatever South Asian country I obviously came from?

Thing is, to me, my home is here. In Great Britain. I have grown up for the last 40 years with the same influences around me as the average ‘English’ 40 year old. We watched the same TV, went to the same schools, drank at the same pubs, danced at the same clubs…

Granted I had rather colourful family orientated weekends, due to all our various celebrations and get togethers, but that only added flavour to the Ritu that I was.

I could probably bet that there are many white skinned British folk who have eaten more curries than me. My mum was never one of those Indian mummies who always had a pot of curry on the boil… Yes we ate traditional Indian food, but not that often. We would even eat certain Kenyan foods like Ugali, a steamed corn bread with spinach or chicken. In fact if you ask me, my favourite dinner is a good old Roast Lamb with mint sauce, complete with roasties, Yorkshire puddings, veg and lashings of gravy!

In my car you’ll find CD’s ranging from Brit Pop to Bollywood, the Swinging Sixties to Soul, Bhangra to The Beatles. Eclectic, but it’s a reflection of me heritage, and growing up.

At home, I lounge around in my trackies and hoodie, not a Punjabi salwar kameez.

And I know that everything seems better after a good old cuppa tea. (But that goes for British, and Indian values!)

But it still doesn’t change where my home is.

106 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. wanderingmoi
    Jul 06, 2017 @ 06:05:34

    Home is where the heart is. I have a lot of places I call home even back in my home country and after residing albeit temporarily for the last 5 years in a foreign country, I have considered it my home as well. I look forward to having more homes in other countries if given the change. After all, life is too short to spend in a single home only 😉

    Liked by 1 person

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  2. lifeintrips
    Jun 09, 2017 @ 06:31:45

    Home is where your heart belong… nice post…

    Liked by 1 person

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  3. willowdot21
    Apr 05, 2017 @ 23:39:45

    Nor does it solve the question here let Paul Young give the answer Sis!

    Liked by 1 person

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  4. elementhealing
    Apr 05, 2017 @ 16:00:43

    It annoys me when I see closed minded people saying “Go home” to someone. The fact that they are sleeping their way through life is an excuse, but that does’t stop the pain inflicted on the person being spoken to in such a harsh manner.
    Like you said home is many different things. Mostly it’s where we feel loved and safe. The location is really not that important. Home is something felt in our heart.

    Liked by 1 person

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  5. SickChristine
    Apr 05, 2017 @ 14:25:24

    Here in America I’m watching as children who have lived in the US their entire lives and speak only English are being deported to unfamiliar countries that speak unfamiliar languages because of our xenophobic president. It makes no sense to me. I’ve always found the marriage of so many cultures in our country to be one of our greatest assets. Now look at us. It’s sad.

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  6. TanGental
    Apr 05, 2017 @ 10:53:53

    I knew, because dad told us, from early on that our family name was, is French but ‘we’ emigrated over 200 years ago and, but for freakily persistent X chromosomes, the name wouldn’t have passed on, this being a patriarchal society first and foremost. But I was English/British, I looked the part and no one questioned it until… French lessons aged 11. My teacher, a ratty little arse wipe called Gifford called me ‘Le Par’ without the hard ‘d’ sound and I made the schoolboy error of correcting him. ‘Isn’t your name French?’ ‘Yes sir.’ ‘Then it should be Le Par.’ ‘And,’he went on, ‘if you’re French, why can’t you speak it?’ I guess his haemorrhoids were troubling him that term. I told mum, who told dad. I learnt later that dad told him what he thought about correcting the way we pronounced our name at the next parent’s evening. But I understood a little of the unthinking intolerance did being different in a small way. Unlike you, Queen Bee, I have no love of my French ancestry – it is too long ago to matter – but I did learn a useful lesson, one which I hope I’ve used for good in not judging anyone except by their words and deeds. Nice post and thank you fro prompting these thoughts.

    Liked by 1 person

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    • Ritu
      Apr 05, 2017 @ 11:11:57

      His Geoffleship it’s funny isn’t it… our ancestry can affect us in ways we don’t even begin to contemplate… because it’s never been an issue until someone makes it one! So do I need to pronounce it ‘Is Geoffleship’ instead… with a French accent??? 😉

      Liked by 1 person

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  7. Chris
    Apr 05, 2017 @ 10:21:24

    I’m also from the Romesh land of Crawley. He used to be head of Maths at one of the local schools and often says he’s recognised more for that rather than being a stand-up

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  8. tsepotheview
    Apr 05, 2017 @ 10:18:02

    Home is in heaven I doubt any one can disagree with that…

    Liked by 2 people

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  9. Erika Kind
    Apr 05, 2017 @ 08:39:15

    Home is not a place but a condition, right? And the way you are that way you can feel home at several places or in several ways. Everywhere on this planet we will find something that gives a feeling of home. Lovely to read it again, sis!

    Liked by 2 people

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  10. morenasello
    Apr 04, 2017 @ 08:54:28

    Im a teenager and sometimes i find myself say “i can’t wait to leave this ugly house” but sometimes when im away, i just miss it so mich 😭

    Liked by 2 people

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  11. Chris White
    Oct 29, 2016 @ 21:06:26

    I am not sure where home is. But I’ll know for sure when I find it.

    Liked by 3 people

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  12. KL Caley
    Oct 26, 2016 @ 17:31:07

    I’m with you Ritu! I’m from Scotland originally (and have the flame red hair to prove it) but moved to England at 14, and…. I’m a pretty bad Scot, disliking black pudding, haggis and even Scottish smoked salmon (which Scots & English seem to love). I’m not particularly fond of Bagpipes either :). My home is now down south, although a taste of my grannies homemade scotch broth instantly gives me that homey taste of Scotland. Great article, very thought provoking.

    Liked by 2 people

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    • Ritu
      Oct 26, 2016 @ 17:53:51

      I’m Glad I made you think!! Home… it’s an intriguing question really. Right now I’m sat with my parents… I’m ‘home’ for a few days. I know my everyday home is with my hubby and family… but for me home is where my parents are!!! 😊

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  13. New Journey
    Oct 26, 2016 @ 17:23:05

    Despite my genetic make up, home is where my hat is, so to say…..its where I lay my head every night..where I hear my husband snoring…..LOL even though I am not sure who I really am….Irish, American, German, Scottish….I am pretty sure I have a little of it all flowing through my veins along with some I didn’t even know about….LOL love your post….kat

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  14. painkills2
    Oct 24, 2016 @ 22:49:16

    Home is where there’s good food. I was just thinking how funny it is that some people think all black people like chicken and watermelon, because I love them both and I’m white. (Anyway, who doesn’t love chicken and watermelon?) And I had to move away from home — where we were served meat, potatoes, and a vegetable every day — to try awesome (and spicy) Mexican food (which I’ve found I cannot live without). 🙂

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    • Ritu
      Oct 24, 2016 @ 22:52:07

      Well that’s a good take on it! I like chicken and watermelon too!!!… actually I just like food. I’m a woman with the World as my home! (Which is why I’m Dieting now!) 😂

      Liked by 1 person

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  15. Tenacity T
    Oct 24, 2016 @ 15:11:52

    This really makes you think! Something I do every second of every minute of every day!!! This is great❤️

    Liked by 1 person

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  16. http://www.salpa58.wordpress.com
    Oct 24, 2016 @ 14:34:52

    This post got me to thinking. Home, where is home for me. I was born and raised in America seventy three years ago. Inside our house we dined on delicious Italian and German food. Recipes from decades before I was born. I looked Italian with my dark hair and eyes but with a heavy boned German build. When I married and had children of my own the most wonderful words for me to hear were; “Hi mom I’m home”. I remember saying those exact words growing up.
    My parents passed young, mother was fifty five and dad sixty seven. I still miss them so for me home is where the heart is. I know this to be true because when ever my daughter comes to visit with her family and I’m in the kitchen cooking the meal we will share, I always hear these sweet words from my daughter; “Hi mom we’re home”.
    My conclusion is we pass home from generation to generation with much love and fond memories.

    Liked by 2 people

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  17. Helen Jones
    Oct 24, 2016 @ 12:19:52

    So many comments! This post seems to have struck a chord with lots of people, Ritu, and I think it’s because it addresses one of our deepest desires – home. I was born in the UK, then moved to Canada with my family, then to Australia with my husband. I hold citizenship for all three countries, and I feel at home in all of them. Yet the place that speaks to me, where I want to live the most, is Wales. My family on both sides stretch back centuries in that country, so perhaps it is my blood speaking to me – I don’t know. I do know that since moving back to the UK I feel more settled than I have in years, yet there are still moments when I feel like a stranger. Years of missed cultural references, the fact that when I open my mouth I sound different, make me feel like an outsider at times. I wonder how it feels to live in the same place one’s whole life – to me that seems wonderfully exotic 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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  18. Ali Isaac
    Oct 24, 2016 @ 12:08:31

    Good point. For me, home is Ireland. I dont look much different to an Irish person, but I’m very aware that as soon as I open my mouth, I give myself away… I’m one of them! The English, once not so popular over here. Time has moved on and I’ve never been made to feel anything less than welcome. I’m probably more aware of my Englishness than the Irish around me are!

    Liked by 1 person

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  19. wendyunsworth
    Oct 24, 2016 @ 08:29:56

    I have lived in different parts of the world and have a special place in my heart for Central Africa, the people of Zambia and Kenya, the wonderful wildlife, where my children grew up. It was most certainly home. At present I am in Portugal, close to my son and my gorgeous grandchildren who within three years are totally fluent in Portuguese and it is home for us all. My daughter lives in Edinburgh and when I make long visits with her that is home. My wider family live in Lincolnshire and Lancashire and that will,always be home too.
    Your sentiments are lovely Ritu – a sense of being home is a precious thing wherever you are in the world.

    Liked by 1 person

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  20. Prajakta
    Oct 24, 2016 @ 06:56:51

    Home is where you want it to be 🙂 Since when did ethnicity have anything to do with it? There are people who will always judge. Just be yourself – being a product of a melting pot is always an asset!

    Liked by 1 person

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  21. Dorinda Duclos
    Oct 24, 2016 @ 01:05:55

    Home is where you feel most comfortable. It’s not about what anyone else says or thinks you belong. You know your heart, follow it. For me, home is America. I am born to 100% American Italian parents, who were born to the same. So am I Italian or American? I am American first. And proud of it 🇺🇸 🇮🇹

    Liked by 1 person

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  22. kritsayvonne
    Oct 23, 2016 @ 22:49:07

    I’ve said it before, I love your thinking and the way you put thoughts into words. X

    Liked by 1 person

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  23. chris jensen
    Oct 23, 2016 @ 22:30:09

    Home is where your heart lies!

    Not where someone whom has no idea of whom you are..

    Dinner at your place roasted lamb, Yorkshire puddings with gravy,

    any day darling!

    chris

    Liked by 1 person

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  24. DotedOn
    Oct 23, 2016 @ 21:13:11

    I don’t know where home is. I hadn’t found it yet 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

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  25. colinandray
    Oct 23, 2016 @ 20:46:08

    Where is home is an interesting question, and I guess one would have to define “home” to come up with an answer.
    Is my home Birmingham – I was born there.
    Is my home Peterborough – I grew up there.
    Is my home Mississauga – I lived there for over 30 years
    Is my home Oakville – My current location

    Liked by 2 people

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    • Ritu
      Oct 23, 2016 @ 21:16:32

      It is an intriguing question indeed!!

      Liked by 1 person

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    • Ritu
      Oct 23, 2016 @ 21:16:48

      And you, a fellow Brummie!!!!

      Liked by 1 person

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    • Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, MCC, SCAC
      Oct 23, 2016 @ 22:57:33

      My list of candidates would be MUCH longer than yours, colinandray.
      * Since my military father moved us almost every year of my life, it can’t be where I was born – or any of the places we landed for our yearly pass-throughs.
      * Now that most of my emotionally distant family is no longer alive and the remainder are scattered. I can’t say my home is my family of origin.

      My first career was the theatre, and “taking the show on the road” was practically synonymous with “paying your dues” – so none of those cities feel like “home” to me.
      Even though the cast of characters changed with every show, our close community always felt like home to me at the time. But it’s been 20 years since I’ve seen my name on a current Playbill.
      The ADD Coaching community seems to have become competitive and more, shall we say, “financially focused” than I envisioned when I set out to create that style of coaching, so it no longer has any sort of “homey” feel to it anymore.
      I doubt that Cincinnati will EVER feel like home to me, despite my efforts to make it so. it is not a town particularly welcoming to “outsiders” (which most other towns I’ve lived in welcomed as “newcomers.”) Had I little experience with making new friends quickly and often, I might be led to believe it was MY problem — but I doubt that life-long friendship skills would suddenly stop working.
      NYC feels most like home – but I don’t chose to live life as an exile until I can financially afford to move back to Manhattan – which is taking MUCH longer than I envisioned.

      Until I can create a physical “home” for myself somewhere, I guess I’d have to say my blog is my home. I hope you’ll come visit. You’ll be welcomed,
      xx,
      mgh
      (Madelyn Griffith-Haynie – ADDandSoMuchMore dot com)
      – ADD Coach Training Field founder; ADD Coaching co-founder –
      “It takes a village to transform a world!”

      Liked by 3 people

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  26. Ruth
    Oct 23, 2016 @ 20:34:11

    Wherever I live, home for me is always the North-East coast of Scotland ❤

    Liked by 1 person

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  27. pensitivity101
    Oct 23, 2016 @ 20:31:05

    Dorset lass. born at home in a council house in 1956. Mum’s from the Forest of Dean, and Dad was a Londoner.

    Liked by 1 person

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  28. vanbytheriver
    Oct 23, 2016 @ 20:09:01

    Check out the response at the 1:00 mark to the question “Where in the hell are you from, anyway?”. Dr. Janosz Poha, Ghostbusters II. ☺ Wanted to make you smile.

    Liked by 3 people

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  29. Erika Kind
    Oct 23, 2016 @ 20:07:45

    Oh, I love that, Sis! Aren’t we all just colorful compositions? I am neither from that place where I live but I feel most at home at a place I don’t live. I feel drawn to places I have never been. I am not typically in my mentality to those who are from the same place. We are what we have become through all we experienced and were given from life. That makes this wonderful unique being everybody is. Our family history may be interesting but what matters is the being we are today. Sorry, for this post-comment but that was so inspiring 😄

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  30. Judy Martin
    Oct 23, 2016 @ 19:32:12

    I was born in Somerset but moved when my parents divorced so hardly remember it. I was brought up in Lancashire and then Kent.
    However, most of my siblings and my parents were born in Weymouth, Dorset, and that to me, is home! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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  31. stevetanham
    Oct 23, 2016 @ 19:29:29

    A deep and thoughtful blog, Ritu.

    Liked by 1 person

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  32. TanGental
    Oct 23, 2016 @ 19:18:06

    I was born in Surrey but I’m Hampshire lad by attitude. Call me a Surrey boy and I’ll sue…

    Liked by 1 person

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  33. willowdot21
    Oct 23, 2016 @ 18:45:44

    Well I am English, London born, Mum from Oxford Dad from Dublin, so I am half Irish. I have have lived in London, Devon and Berkshire. So I am not that eclectic! Not as interesting as you! I remember when I was working in a children’s home some years back my lovely sister was spending a day with me. We were in the staff room, a Nigerian visiting social worker swept in to the room wearing what I can only describe as an ethnic dress including headdress. My totally impressed sister told her she looked fabulous and asked her where she came from. The woman shot her a filthy look and snapped Croydon. With that she swept out of the room. I did feel sorry for her she meant no harm. I did understand where the woman was coming from(oops no pun intended) but I did feel for my sister who meant no harm. It’s difficult isn’t it so easy to be un PC these days. 🤗 xxxx

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  34. KIA
    Oct 23, 2016 @ 18:34:14

    My home is arizona. Grew up in central Kansas and my ethnic background is pretty much alphabet soup.

    Liked by 1 person

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