The other night, as I was making the chapatti’s at my Mother-in-law’s house, her friend came to visit. They had their usual chats, then the talk turned to their grandchildren.
I could hear the comments about her children constantly on the go, taking their children here and there, and the kids demanding things, and having phones, iPads, TV at their disposal… it began to sound like one of those conversations where they were going to criticise the parents of today, because obviously it was better in their day…
Rolling out the chapattis, I was glad I wasn’t in there, as I may have said something!
But it got me thinking…
Is it harder being a parent now, in this day and age, than it was when we were children, and it was the turns of our parents?
Time Management
There is no sweeping statement we can make on this.
Back in the day, there were more Stay at Home Mums. You were more likely to find mum at home, caring for the family in a more child-centred way and Dad was at work, then came home to pat the children goodnight, but equally there were many parents (my in-law’s included), who had moved over to a new country, and wanted to make a good life for their families, so they worked hard too, working all the hours God sent, to provide for their families and try and instil a good set of morals into their children. But still, you would have someone at home, making dinner, assisting with homework, ensuring the children had everything they needed.
Nowadays, you still have working parents and Stay at Home Mums, but it feels like there is not enough time in the day to deal with all that needs to be done. The rush in the morning to get everything ready for children, and yourself. Lunches made, bags packed, equipment kept ready for all these after school commitments. Then the day begins, school and work. Home time consists of rushing around to feed kids, so they can be shipped off the various clubs. While they are gone, you tend to jobs that need to be done. Getting them to bed is another story! Trying to grab phones and tablets off them, making sure homework and reading has been done, before lights out! Sometimes you could easily go to sleep before them!
Presence or Presents
Growing up, I remember my mum always being there. Pops was at work, but when he was home, he was with us, taking my brother to matches or training, or going out as a family, but we were together a lot. Being there with us counted for a lot.
Now, I feel that I have snatched moments with my children. Everything is a rush. Desperate to fit everything in, I often get short tempered then regret it immediately after. I am not too bad at this but it an be easy to compensate for not being there by promising treats and gifts. Chocolate, a trip to the park, watching a special programme on the TV. The requests are small as a young child, but once the expectations are there then the demands get bigger, and more expensive, Consoles, games for them, iPhones, iPads, the latest trainers. Which leads me on to…
Financial Pressures
I’m not saying everyone was rolling in it a generation back.
Far from it. But life was simpler and cheaper. There were fewer clubs and ‘things’ that were requested. And you could occupy your child relatively cheaply, because they were more likely to be happy with whatever you provided. I never wanted for anything, but then, I never really demanded anything from my parents either I got so much love from them, material possessions meant little to me. As long as I had a book, I was happy!
Life now has created financial pressures for most of us nowadays. Both parents working, if they can find jobs, because there is a need to work, not because they want to. Cost of living had increased immensely. It’s hard to keep up mortgage payments and house bills, and feed the family decent food. On top of that, you have to clothe your family. When they are young, you can get away with whatever you want. As they grow older they want certain things, and though you don’t want to spoil them, you want to give them what they crave at least some times. Extra Curricular activities can be free, but some, you have to pay for, and in today’s day and age, you feel terrible if you aren’t sending your child to at least one activity.
Too Many Choices
“Sit down and eat your dinner!”
And we would.
Not in any bad way, but as a parent you rarely requested your child to do anything, you told them, and the respect was there, that you listened.
Now, we I fear we have made a rod for our own backs. There are so many choices out there and often we will say to a child “Would you like this or that?” Allowing them to take certain decisions is not a bad thing, but when you end up making three different dinners because one child won’t eat that, and the other detests this... are we giving them too much choice?
When you are still waiting for your 7 year old daughter to get ready because she can’t decide what she wants to wear..? My mum put my clothes out for me… there was no choice.. and at that stage, I didn’t know what fashion was!
Social Media and the Internet
Way back when, there was the daily papers, and three channels for us to watch. News was something that was national, or affected us locally. Worldwide news would be in the papers the next day or a few days later, or if important you’d get a bulletin on the TV. Children went out to play with friends at the park, or you’d have play dates at your mates house. Sleepovers were fun.
Nowadays children still have friends, but if allowed, they are mostly communicating via social media. Snap Chat and Instagram, Twitter,WhatsApp and Facebook are the means for communication. Even the young ones have accounts on Roblox or MSP where they can message friends, real or otherwise. We as parents have access to these things too, as well as the internet, and instant access to news, and things happening everywhere.
When you put all this together it can make for scary thoughts. Why are we more hesitant to allow our kids to play out with their mates in the evenings, or to get on their bikes in the morning and not see them until dinner time? It was okay for us growing up, but now we’d prefer then to be somewhere we can see them…
Blame that on Social Media and the internet. Using the World Wide Web, we find out so much about awful things happening across the world. Stories about abductions, bullying, abuse, and so much connected to social media too. Isn’t it easier to keep our children inside a bubble?
I wonder whether we have made life harder for ourselves though. Lets be honest, a lot of this was happening before too, but our parents weren’t aware of it as all these horror stories weren’t reported in such a frequent and easy to access manner. Now all it takes is to log on to your Facebook account, and stories are shared of horrible things that happen. We want to protect our children, but give ourselves extra stress because we worry about what could happen, rather than live in the now.
Growing Up Too Soon
The innocence of childhood… that phrase rings so true when I think of when I was growing up. We played with toys, listened to our parents, had innocent fun until into our teen years.
It’s a different story now. Watching things on TV or the internet means that children are exposed to so much. Their language has matured from a much younger age. They are aware of a lot that is happening out in the world, which makes some cautious from a young age. They dress more grown up, want items with ‘names’ on them. Watching music videos, they don’t realise it, but they dance around in a sexualised way. And the attitude these children show too! The lip we have to endure from Tweens… see even a new name for those pre teen stroppy mares!
As a parent, you can control a lot of what your kids do, if you have a choice, but their is access to so much, from many different avenues, it can be hard to keep an eye on them the whole time.
Thirty years ago, the big worry may have been finding a naughty magazine under your son’s bed, or a hidden lipstick, or the discovery that your child has a boyfriend or girlfriend.
Now these are small worries in comparison to what we face. Do we censor everything? When my son started secondary school, he was quite innocent, and he still is. However sometimes we would hear him speak of certain things, that we would never mention, or condone him watching, and he said that his friends at school showed him on their phones. He is growing up. Too fast in my eyes, but I know every parent thinks that. We have had to grant him trust, hoping that he knows right from wrong and that he doesn’t take a wrong path.
Going back too the beginning of the post, I went and joined my mother in law and her friend. I was fully expecting a conversation stating how rubbish we were as parents compared to them.
But I was wrong.
Instead, this aunty-ji said she felt for us parents of today.
Watching us run ourselves ragged, depositing children here, there and everywhere, working long hours, she felt for us.
Both her and my mother in law were so happy that they were here and able to be some support to us with regards to childcare, while they are still able. After all if we didn’t have their support, we wouldn’t be able to work properly, or if we did, the childcare costs would go up for us, having to pay someone to keep our kids until we were able to come home…
There was no criticism, only concern.
In their eyes, being a parent in their days, to young children was a doddle, compared to now!
What do you think? Is parenting harder now, or was it tougher back in the day?
Images from Pixabay.
But I Smile Anyway... 
Sep 20, 2017 @ 17:30:55
I shared this post on my blog! Thanks!
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Sep 20, 2017 @ 17:35:44
Thank you!
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Jun 25, 2017 @ 02:27:02
Certainly is hard these days with many people having to earn two incomes here in New Zealand just to make ends meet and terms like the “working poor” a reality while the middle class expect far less secure and comfortable retirements than the baby boomers are enjoying. There’s no simple solution when it comes to economics it seems or parenting – the challenges change from generation to generation. I think all we can do is pause for breath, focus on what we have and what is going right and learn to appreciate the small things. I still feel lucky to live where I do, to have the choices I have and to be a working mum.
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Jun 25, 2017 @ 09:16:32
That is true too Michelle! The challenges do indeed differ depending on time!
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Jun 14, 2017 @ 11:41:36
I couldn’t agree with you more! It certainly was different when we were growing up. Things definitely have changed…
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Jun 14, 2017 @ 11:51:45
Totally!!!
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May 30, 2017 @ 05:47:12
I share your concerns. The developed world offers kids too many options, too much stimuli. The thing is, kids still have the impulse for simple joys. Take away the iScreen and put a box in front of them. They’ll do something nifty with it. Parents are confused as to what it is kids really need and don’t need.
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May 30, 2017 @ 09:01:14
So true! Sometime we make a rod for our own backs. It seems easier to us to give them a device to keep them busy, but at the same time we complain because our kids don’t know how to converse…
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May 24, 2017 @ 05:07:40
Hi Ritu, this is a superb post. I have shared it to my Facebook page @SirChocolateBooks. I think parenting is much harder now as the threats are so much greater – the internet has opened up the world for us but also for paedophiles, criminals and other people of bad intent. Even the bullying goes cyber now and reaches a much wider audience causing far greater harm for our children. You have a wonderful family and are very blessed to have their support.
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May 24, 2017 @ 06:59:03
Thank you so much Robbie. It is such a confusing time, being a parent, at any age or in any era to be honest, but it just feels like we have a lot more complex battles to fight nowadays…
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May 22, 2017 @ 00:10:55
Another wonderful post Ritu! Brings back fond (but very distant) memories of my own childhood. Things sure were different back then.
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May 22, 2017 @ 06:45:44
It really all was very different, wasn’t it? So simple and happy.. wish we could go back to certain aspects of that time!
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May 21, 2017 @ 20:34:46
A million times harder. More expensive, more heart breaking, more of everything. If my son isn’t wearing Nike or Under Amour he wont fit in. No cell phone? Won’t fit in. I always say Bad Parenting makes my job tougher bc they see their friends have tvs in their rooms or drink mt. dew at 8 and ask why they can’t.
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May 21, 2017 @ 20:46:23
Oh man yes!!!!! I totally get what you are saying! But the difficulties were there then too… just very different!!!
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May 21, 2017 @ 20:05:59
I’m not a parent, but I imagine it’s just a new set of problems! While there are many parents who are working today, which makes it harder to find family time, there may have been many moms a generation back who felt unfulfilled because they didn’t have the opportunity to work, you know? Of course, I’m not a parent so my opinion isn’t worth much, but that’s what I’d like to think!
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May 21, 2017 @ 20:07:49
Your opinion is definitely important. I agree with what you say. The problems are different totally now.. . Not necessarily more difficult! Xxx
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May 21, 2017 @ 18:06:07
I think all the extracurricular activities are out of control. I played 1 sport and took a music lesson, but that was about it. I wasn’t allowed to watch much tv. For entertainment, my parents sent me outside to play. Done. I don’t know how parents handle all that schlepping of kids they have to do!
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May 21, 2017 @ 18:08:01
I know… but it just seems to have become the norm nowadays!!
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May 21, 2017 @ 17:06:26
I’m not a parent, but I see how life seems to be much harder for children compared to when I was young. So many pressures to have the latest gadgets, to look a certain way. I imagine that pressure is transferred to the parents who may feel obliged to buy such things for their children so they don’t get bullied or feel left out.
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May 21, 2017 @ 17:13:48
That is definitely one element that is making life hard…
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May 21, 2017 @ 16:38:52
I raised my kids 25 years ago and although we didn’t have a lot of money, (not many of my friends did), it must have been a lot easier. I can’t believe how exhausted I was with all of my duties around the house. I chose to stay at home and loved it.
Now with all the distractions of social media, I can’t imagine how some do it. I really am repelled by those who use their kids as props and can’t imagine a writing career along with raising kids. I need peace an quiet. I’m in awe of those who can work with distractions hovering around them.
Cheryl Strayed says she goes to a hotel for a weekend to binge write.
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May 21, 2017 @ 16:40:57
I could only wish for a weekend off to be able to do that!!!
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May 21, 2017 @ 16:25:09
Itt is so different being a parent nowadays! when I was young we had respect for our parents and others in the community. Ok, maybe sometimes it was a bit TOO strict but I remember working for a short time at a secondary school. I have never been sworn at so much in my life, and by teenagers too! There was no respect at all, they all knew their ‘rights’ and that there was unlikely to be much in the way of consequences for their bad behaviour. On some occasions I had to phone paretns and instead ofgetting support, i normally ended up getting a load more abuse from them! I have the utmost respect for teachers Sis, who are often kind of taking on a parental role for those kids that have not been nappy trained or taught how to use cutlery etc.
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May 21, 2017 @ 16:26:58
It is really tough sis, because yes there are those who think the responsibility for teaching their kids about life and manners falls onto teachers too, but for those parents who try sooo hard, and run themselves ragged, it is hard in a different way. It’s a a different world out there nowadays…
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May 21, 2017 @ 19:33:57
Yes, it really is. I know I find it really hard being a parent sometimes! 🙂
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May 21, 2017 @ 19:58:49
Don’t we all sis Lol!!
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May 21, 2017 @ 15:43:06
Hi Ritu,
I think it is harder to be a parent today if only because of the internet. Kids just want to play on their phones.
Janice
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May 21, 2017 @ 15:46:35
So true Janice. I have to peel my kids off the computer, tablets and phones!
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May 21, 2017 @ 15:22:59
I always say I’m thankful I grew up before technology was such a huge thing! Nowadays it’s difficult not have it included in your children’s life as it’s so readily available. There’s nothing I love more than packing up the girls and going to the park or farm turning my phone is and enjoying it but I know it won’t last long and I’ll soon be itching for it!
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May 21, 2017 @ 15:44:09
It’s true Nicole, you can’t avoid it even if you wanted to!
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May 21, 2017 @ 14:28:51
One, being a parent is not a piece of cake. Two, present times are more challenging that the ones in which we were raised. Not a parent but couldn’t agree more to your thoughts.
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May 21, 2017 @ 14:41:16
It is hard Parul… maybe not more difficult but very different!
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May 21, 2017 @ 14:25:16
Interesting post, Ritu! I realized when my son was three or four that I’d made him the center of the universe. Without meaning to, I’d crowned him king of the world and he became a tyrannical dictator. Right then I decided my parenting had to change. It seems like today’s children, like you said, have too many choices and options. Parents do all the work and kids focus on the magic of childhood and building their self esteem. I love magic, and I think self esteem is important, but i do him a disservice if I let him believe the world revolves around him. I only make one meal, he does chores, he’s responsible for his own work, if he wants something he has to earn it. I smiled when he wanted to pay for his field trip to the bowling alley the other day. I paid for it, but I loved that he wanted to. (he’s seven) I make a lot of mistakes as a parent, but I’m grateful for that one moment of clarity. It has made a big difference.
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May 21, 2017 @ 14:40:52
Angela that is one thing that many parents struggle with, especially right now! Well done with your job with your son!!!
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May 21, 2017 @ 17:37:57
I’m trying! I’m sure I screw it up plenty of times, but the intention is there. And maybe part of the journey is getting it wrong so we, parent and children, keep learning together.
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May 21, 2017 @ 17:44:58
X😊
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May 21, 2017 @ 14:00:00
The one thing that unnerves me, having a kid in this day and age, is social media. My young tender heart could not have survived the teenage years with Facebook. It would have been so hard.
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May 21, 2017 @ 14:13:45
I agree… i am so careful to shelter my two, but I know I can’t for much longer!
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May 21, 2017 @ 13:25:11
From what I can see with my sister and brother-in-law, it really is- there are SO many more complicated demands being placed on parents now. I think part of it falls on industries though- it blows my mind that kids are supposed to stay in car seats until they are 9 or 90 lbs. I was a tiny kid, I was 5 and probably 50 lbs, and I’m still here to tell the tale. There’s so much fear mongering and peer pressure (a “great” combo) that I really feel bad for everything today’s parents go through!!!
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May 21, 2017 @ 13:28:03
These factors definitely make things tough!!!!! But you know what, we are getting there… You live and learn!
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May 21, 2017 @ 12:40:34
I think parenting has always presented challenges at any age or era but the challenges change. Certainly I look back with nostalgia at my childhood when my Mum stayed home and I’d come home from school to the aroma of freshly baked cookies. (Yes, this would literally happen). But I know it was hard for her and my father and they worked without ceasing to provide for us and work our farm keeping the wolf from the door. I am empathetic to today’s young parents as I watch my son and his wife both work outside the home, provide nutritious meals and meaningful activities while maintaining a home for their two boys. They love living near family for support and respite since we pitch in to babysit or take the boys overnight. When extended families are geographically separated I think it is much more difficult to cope.
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May 21, 2017 @ 12:47:57
Oh most definitely. The help you get from extended family is invaluable. Our younger Indian parents sometimes try to get away from it as the extended family has been part of our culture for so long, and they want ‘freedom’ but I have been so thankful that my in laws are here to help us out for a couple of hours at least every school day!
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May 21, 2017 @ 12:51:49
Priceless!
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May 21, 2017 @ 12:53:40
Totally!
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May 21, 2017 @ 11:08:55
Yes it is so different now. My eldest child is 31, next is 23, then 17 and my youngest is 6. I have different experiences of them all as children. I had a child in each decade of my childbearing years so I was of a different level of maturity for each one. I can say that for my first child 31 yrs ago, I was only 18 (still a little immature) and I had a lot of help from family & Friends. Life was relaxed then and her teenage years were okay.
I worried more about my second child because I had more experience and was more aware of the dangers.
My 17 year old is exposed to so much today. Yes I worry! And life is indeed busier!
Little miss 6 year old is like a different breed 😂. The demands, the wants, the chat! It’s like she was born an adult. I suppose it’s because all her family are adults.
But yes, life is forever changing and we must change with it and just do our best. Would I like for life to be as simple as when I was a child? Absolutely! Great memories!
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May 21, 2017 @ 11:41:54
Wow! Gloria, I applaud you! You have personally seen the changes and experienced them as a parent in so many situations!!!! It is hard no matter when a person is/was a parent, but the difficulties vary so much!!!
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May 21, 2017 @ 10:05:41
I don’t have children but in the last 12 years I have definitely seen a huge change in the parental responses I received in the education system… and not for the better!
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May 21, 2017 @ 10:58:10
It has become so different to when our parents were in the same boat… maybe not harder but different difficulties..
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May 18, 2017 @ 23:16:07
I can only speak as an outsider, but I think it’s all relative? I’m sure parenting is never an easy task and there was always obstacles! Either way, I salute you parents! 💖
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May 18, 2017 @ 23:22:21
Thanks Noelle. I think in reality it’s always hard… just a different hard depending on the time you are a parent!
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May 18, 2017 @ 19:32:56
I can empathize with you, Ritu, and my daughters raising children in these modern times. Parenting is not easy, no matter what era you’re in. It’s so true when they say, “It takes a village to raise a child.”
The world has changed so much since our daughters were children (in the ’70’s) and I’m not quite sure I could have handled it as well as you all are. I believe as long as you are connected with them, love them and are a part of their lives, you can make it through anything. Thank you.
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May 18, 2017 @ 19:44:50
Thank you for your kind words words. It may not be more difficult… but it’s very different to when I was growing up, that’s for sure!
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May 18, 2017 @ 20:15:50
You’re welcome, Ritu. I can only imagine how different it was for you but I understand, too. I hear the same from my daughters and it wasn’t that long ago when they were little. At least, you’re more equipped to ride the tides of technology and social media with them for which I am truly grateful.
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May 18, 2017 @ 20:26:43
I guess that is a bonus indeed!!! 😊
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May 20, 2017 @ 00:10:54
For sure. Thank you, Ritu. 🙂
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May 18, 2017 @ 18:05:03
Good discussion, Ritu, you did a good job of making comparisons. I do think it is harder. When my sons were teens, I had a lot of help through schools, church, sports, and extended families (multiple generations). I guess it would be too much for me to discuss each. I’ll just take one – sports. Fifty years ago, children and youth had learned that everybody has different strengths and weaknesses, and they had to work harder to do some things than others did. In those days, the best received the awards, now everybody gets a trophy. Why work at it? Now that might be good for the kid’s ego, but it does nothing to help parents teach the importance of hard work, ambition, focus, being a leader, or a good follower, etc.
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May 18, 2017 @ 18:10:44
So true!!! There is so much you could read in to!
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May 18, 2017 @ 15:08:46
Definitely harder now. It’s true. There was a lot more of the village assisting us. Less activities and thing we had to do. Our parents didn’t care what school we went too as long as we went. Society tells us that our child must go here in order to get the best opportunities for colleges and scholarships. Both parents have to work in order to be able to afford activities and scholarships. It’s tough.
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May 18, 2017 @ 17:10:57
Very different too..
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May 18, 2017 @ 14:50:45
Aargh this is such an open can of worms. You could literally write a separate blog post on each of your bullet points. Is it harder for us? Someways yes. Someways no. Am sure my grandparents who brought their children up in World War II would argue we have it much easier. However, I think there is SO much pressure on parents to be “Alpha Parents” these days. Perfect house, perfect outfits, holidays, jobs, perfect hair even, kids doing well at school, kids’ hobbies, bloody kids birthday parties, playdates, PTA, round the clock childcare, commute to work, parents’ social life, keeping up with social media, pets, bombarded by parenting information from the internet….it stresses me out just reading this list of what parents seem to be expected to excel in. I don’t think it’s an exaggeration to say for our parents and grandparents it was much simpler. There was definitely less pressure. Basically, show ’em love, get ’em fed, get ’em to school. Job done. But there are some things that are better now: no war (in this country), disease management, equality (better than what it was anyway)…ok now I’m struggling to think of other suggestions, but the ones I’ve come up with are big ones. I’ve gone on too much! It’s just such a HUGE subject. I think as someone said above, one could literally write a book on this subject. Great post Ritu xx
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May 18, 2017 @ 17:10:42
Oh man I know. As I wrote the sub headings I thought about Making it a multi post thing… but it all came out … my stream of consciousness! It’s a huge subject!!!
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May 18, 2017 @ 14:11:43
We were out playing in the streets with our friends. Didn’t need supervision, clubs or TV. We made our own fun. Mum or Dad called us in when it was time for bath and bed. Those were the days!
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May 18, 2017 @ 17:08:42
So true!!!
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May 18, 2017 @ 14:05:51
Reblogged this on Don Massenzio's Blog and commented:
Great post with a lot of food for thought for parents from the But I Smile Anyway blog
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May 18, 2017 @ 13:28:47
This topic is an invitation to write a book, but I’ll keep it brief. From my perspective, no… it is not harder, but it is very different. For all the added perceived burden of current technology, there are the advantages of same. My childhood was simple, but some of my peers had very complex lifestyles…by choice. I was brought up in a City with a population of around 80,000, but my children had to adjust to a new country and 4-5M people. I was raised with a very simplistic media presence, whereas today it is a very dominant part of our lives. There are negatives to that, just as there are positives.
Our biggest influence when comparing now vs “back then” could well simply be our reluctance to change, together with an inherent desire to find a comfort level and hold on to it! I do not have a cell phone! That perhaps explains a lot!
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May 18, 2017 @ 17:08:10
Its true… harder is probably the wrong word but different us definitely it!
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May 18, 2017 @ 10:57:13
Excellent post. As a grandmother and at the age of 73 I remember a gentler time growing up. But as you mentioned we had less, Even education was less, and by that I mean there was no pre-school or Kindergarten for that matter. If you had older siblings you learned from them. Mother did not work outside the home because families were larger (six children in mine) and my parent’s siblings seem to all live in the same area. I grew up with cousins in the same neighborhood, attending the same school, etc. We didn’t have many toys and the library was a popular place. We played outside all day in summer and when school started it was homework, studying and then to bed. We watched very little TV but did listen to the radio and played records on our one victrola. The telephone belonged to our parents and we were not allowed to use it at random, we had to ask for permission.
When I was raising my own children I did have to work, nothing was given to us by our parents, as a matter of fact, we would give them money in their old age.Our parents could foresee the world changing and did their best to prepare us for the future, we saw the world changing and did our best. Nowadays my children have much more in the way of material things. Three or more televisions, at least two cars children going to after school activities, etc.I don’t see the family living close together anymore they live in different states or even if they live in the same state they live many miles apart. My daughter lives only about ten minutes from me here in Florida but my sons stayed in New York. I am happy to help my daughter with child care and it is a joy for us to see our granddaughters every day. I am one of the lucky grandmothers. Some of my friends rarely see their grandchildren or their children for that matter. There is much more divorce now, distance, half siblings, step siblings. Technology has grown at such a fast speed. You see two-year-olds with V-Tech computers and other devices. It’s not an easy job for parents nowadays either but in a different way There is more wealth in the country, keeping up with the changes is difficult. Yes, we grandparents do feel bad for our children at times but we also are proud of you for your accomplishments and try to help in our own way.The world is still changing, as parents, I am sure that you foresee that too. Raising children is the most important job parents have, add that to a Carerra and the fast pace of the world today, it makes life hectic and more difficult, but most are doing a good job and you all should be proud of yourselves.We the old ones are proud of you because we love you and our sacrifices paid off. ☺☺
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May 18, 2017 @ 12:19:11
That is such a lovely comment to make! Each time is difficult for it’s own reasons. We manage and try the best we can,and I celebrate our parents. Without them we couldn’t manage on a day to day basis xx
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May 18, 2017 @ 08:09:59
It’s definitely a different world now to when we were growing up and I think that accounts for a lot of the challenges that parents (and kids) face today. Times seemed more simple back when we were growing up, I was also, like you, content with just a book, yet I never went without. As a parent today I’m not sure whether it’s necessarily harder but it’s definitely different. Guess it’s up to us as parents to try and provide that balance. Great post Ritu.
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May 18, 2017 @ 08:43:03
So true Leo!! Loved your thoughts! It is different definitely!
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May 18, 2017 @ 08:47:54
Absolutely. Never a dull moment. 🙂
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May 18, 2017 @ 07:15:44
Starting middle school, my parents never saw the inside of my schools. My parents never had to take me to any school activities, we went with friends. In lot of ways life was simpler.
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May 18, 2017 @ 07:31:12
It was definitely simpler, but they would have had their own difficulties to deal with, I’m sure…!
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May 18, 2017 @ 14:08:53
Yes.
Not comparing parenting at different times.
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May 18, 2017 @ 17:08:32
😊
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May 18, 2017 @ 07:05:49
I don’t know if it is harder for parents… or for the children! Since the parents are more active the kids are supposed to participate in this and that class. Thinking of my niece (10), she is on the go all day. But I don’t know if it is harder compared to 30 or more years ago. It is different. Times are different and the ones in there now are not able to compare the same situation in their own life with living a life 30 years ago in the same role. I still think it needs to be up to the life situation and to the concerned individuals to find the best way to of organizing their time. As long as all are fine, it is ok!
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May 18, 2017 @ 07:30:27
You are right sis, it’s not necessarily harder, but it is different, and the difficulties are honed to the time we are parenting! I did mention this but sometimes the difficulties are self made, and we make rods for our own backs, but the expectations out there push many over the edge!
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May 18, 2017 @ 18:03:02
Yes, that’s true! Unfortunately there are many who think they have to “join in” and that is what causes pressure and hectic for all. But then again those people always set pressure on themselves in order to “fit in” whatever section of life it may concern. I was one of them for so long but at least I did not apply it on the activities of my kids ☺
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May 18, 2017 @ 18:03:51
True sis xxx
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May 18, 2017 @ 18:53:27
😘😘
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May 18, 2017 @ 06:59:31
New days are faster and coping with them is always hard. However, the genetic coding of each generation probably copes with the modernity. Life was simpler in the past but our grandparents had other things to worry about: disease, for example. Many of the vaccines were not invented. There was no dishwasher. Nor washer or dryer. Before our grandparents, probably electricity was considered a luxury in most places. If we keep going back in time , we will see many parents were slaves, many children were slaves as well. Definition of humanity was different then. Different times probably have different complexities. Great post. Very thought provoking .
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May 18, 2017 @ 07:04:04
I’m glad yo read it!
Parenting has never been easy, that’s for sure. I guess it feels like the hurdles we have to face at the moment seem so huge as they aren’t just our own personal hurdle snow, but protecting from the outside world in other ways, that weren’t there before!
It was definitely thought provoking. That’s why I rambled on for so long!!!
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May 18, 2017 @ 06:47:24
Ritu,
Very good post, if I may say so. I can feel your heart through this post.
I would say parenting is easier in some ways and more difficult in others.
The easy part, we can choose to enroll children in activities or give them their break- decision making has been transferred a lot to kids and they perhaps become more grown in their thinking but perhaps better equipped to cope with the world, which has grown in leaps and bounds.
The underside, – innocence ( was it ever there- if you read English school stories of boys schools, or even stories named as classics, there is often innuendo there, perhaps we didn’t recognize it as such) maybe gone earlier, sex is not something sacred and within marriages any more (peddled around freely), and safety( we worry more for our kids but we are often not there to protect them, when they need it most).
So a compromise is required. We all need to tone down in terms of materialism- as Buddhists would say- desire less, so want less, so buy less, so things cost less and there will be enough.
What do you say ?
Susie
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May 18, 2017 @ 07:01:58
Oh yes, Susie, I agree that parenting at any time has never been easy! The materialism is very hard to break amongst kids, especially once they start to mix freely with others.
And as I said there was lots happening out there even 30-40 years ago, but parents and children were blissfully unaware then, so you weren’t imposing boundaries on they children in ways that we do now. With the media, we know so much more bad stuff is out there that we almost wrap our children in cotton wool, because no one wants to see their child suffer. But is that bad too? How will they learn to deal with ‘life’ if we parent’s overprotect them? i am guilty of this, I know, but I can’t help it!
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