Tweenagers – They Be Growing Up!

22 Jun 2017 92 Comments

by Ritu in Children, Family, Thoughts Opinions & Memories Tags: , , , , , ,

Last night, one of Lil Man’s molar teeth fell out (milk tooth, thank goodness!).

“Mum! Look! Can I have a pound?”

I love that he only asks for a pound, sweet boy, most kids I know seem to be expecting a fiver, or a tenner even, from the Tooth Fairy!

“Go put in under your pillow. You know the tooth fairy has to come visit!”

He looked at me with those eyes… the eyes of a child who is no longer really a child (he’s turning twelve next week!) …they were saying “What Tooth Fairy? You know it’s you who places that coin lovingly under my pillow, just admit it!”

I indicated towards his little sister, as if to say “Shh! Not in front of her! She’s still little!”

But then I thought… Actually, is she?

This weekend, in the heat, I was even more aware that, even at nine, she was no longer a little girl. Developments are happening. it is no longer appropriate for her to run around with no top on. School-wise she will be due for that talk next year.

Just this week I bought her some cropped vests because she is a very heat sensitive child, like I am, and even a vest felt too hot for her, but as I mentioned, she can’t be without one completely. Modesty is something we have instilled in our kids.

I felt wrong, buying something that felt like I was almost sexualising my child, but I’m not. It’s just a vest, not a bra. And it will keep her comfortable, yet appropriately covered up.

Because she’s growing up.

Why am I trying to keep certain pretences up in front of her still?

Because I want her to remember her childhood as being magical, with a little mystery attached. Reality hits you hard when you grow up. Surely our kids need to be kids for a little longer?!

She says to me Father Christmas is not real, she loves the idea of the Tooth Fairy, but is starting to question her too. And she never believed in the Easter Bunny (except the one in Hop!). Watching things on the Internet (with me around of course!) and the school playground chatter, where those children who never believed anything because their parents never bothered to indulge them, her illusions are shattered daily.

Going back to Lil Man, he showed me how grown up he was the other day. There was an incident at his school, with a child calling him a racist name. My first reaction was “What?! I’ll get in touch with the teachers, school need to be aware!”

But he proved to be the voice of reason (after talking to Dad). “Mum, no don’t do that. I want to talk to him tomorrow. Maybe he didn’t know what he was saying…”

We made a plan.

He was to go to school and chat to the lad,  explaining that what he said was offensive, and that really he should apologise, or things would get sticky, if he had to report it.

All back up plans were in action. If anything else was said he was to ring us as soon as he could so we could report the child. Otherwise everything would be okay.

And we didn’t hear a peep from him all day. He had gone in, and sensibly spoke to said mate, who apologised immediately, not realising what he had said was wrong.

Problem solved!

I guess as mummy, I have to step back now. He is getting sensible (sometimes, anyway!) Anyway, he’s not calling me ‘Mummy’ anymore. It is ‘Mum’! Definitely growing up!

And as for the Tooth Fairy. She forgot to visit! I was so tired I fell asleep!

This morning Lil man came bounding downstairs. “Mum! Can I have that pound?”

I still went and put it under the pillow (habit, I guess) but the tooth wasn’t there.

“Where’s your tooth?”

“It’s in the bin!”

“What???”

I found it. And stored it in a bag full of jumbled teeth. Which ones are his and which are Lil Princess’s, I no longer know… but that sentimental part of me is not interested in throwing them away… not yet… they are still my babies!

When is it time to let go? Not yet… surely!

92 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Be a Kid Again
    Sep 04, 2017 @ 20:45:03

    I can certainly relate to a sensitive child. I thought for sure my twelve year old Mallory knew there was no Santa and was playing it safe for my youngest Kimberly. Kimberly was 8. When I finally told her she no longer had to pretend the reaction was shocking. She cried and cried. So glad they are all grown up.

    Liked by 2 people

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  2. Nancy
    Jul 01, 2017 @ 23:42:00

    Hard to give up certain things even when we know they’ve out grown them, isn’t it? If only we could revisit those younger times now and then just to get a cuddle or two. 😊

    Liked by 1 person

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  3. Trackback: Tweenagers: They Be Growing Up! – The Militant Negro™

  4. Mr. Militant Negro
    Jun 27, 2017 @ 15:46:45

    Reblogged this on The Militant Negro™.

    Like

    Reply

  5. Rae Longest
    Jun 25, 2017 @ 22:26:34

    Delightful post, makes reading your poems all the better!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  6. Ruth Daly
    Jun 25, 2017 @ 19:21:52

    I kinda miss those days, but ah, that tooth fairy. My oldest son (aged about 6 or 7 at the time) told me the tooth fairy left his friend nothing less than a TV when her tooth fell out!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  7. Lucy Mitchell
    Jun 25, 2017 @ 18:29:37

    Lovely Post! Made me smile. Does the tooth fairy appear when you are old, crumbly and your teeth fall out?

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  8. emfletche
    Jun 25, 2017 @ 17:25:17

    What do you mean – no “Tooth Fairy”? And no Santa? You could have warned me there would be spoilers 😀

    Liked by 1 person

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  9. Diana Frajman
    Jun 25, 2017 @ 17:24:54

    I swear, children growing up is harder on the mom than the kids! Mine are 29 and 32 and I still have a hard time with their growth into adulthood. My son is getting married in 3 weeks and I am more stressed out that he is stressed out than worrying about all the wedding plans. Here’s a truth Ritu, but no matter their age, you will always be a mother. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

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  10. angelanoelauthor
    Jun 25, 2017 @ 16:56:16

    I think you’re handling the whole “growing up” thing beautifully. Any child who can manage as your Lil Man did in talking with his friend has learned from the best.

    Liked by 1 person

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  11. Jennifer
    Jun 25, 2017 @ 16:40:48

    Get ready for everything to go into overdrive in the next few years. I love the way he handled the situation, that’s a thoughtful child you are raising.

    Liked by 1 person

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  12. josypheen
    Jun 25, 2017 @ 16:18:23

    I am really impressed with your sensible lil man. What a mature way to deal with name calling. You’re bringing up a good ‘un.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  13. Gary
    Jun 25, 2017 @ 15:35:15

    Just eek! Mine are turning 18 and 15 this year with the A level and GCSE combo next year! How… or when did I blink and find them no longer little??? Tempus Fugit and all that. Such a relatable post Ritu #GaTu

    Liked by 1 person

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  14. lindahobden
    Jun 25, 2017 @ 14:43:14

    Oh Ritu I can relate – my 4th child is going to be 12 in August and he has started calling me mum and still accepts the £1 tooth fairy coin I put under his pillow! My youngest is 10 and calls me Mum rather than mummy but every time he leaves the house he tells me that he loves me (it melts my heart!) My 3rd son is 19 and now calls me Mother in a deep voice! My daughter still calls me mamma 😊 and my eldest son calls me mum. Lovely post 😊

    Liked by 1 person

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  15. Lisa Orchard (@lisaorchard1)
    Jun 25, 2017 @ 14:12:14

    I’m struggling with this myself! My oldest is twelve and his voice has started to change. Sob! He’s also as tall as I am. This is happening way to fast, but I feel blessed that I was able to stay home with them and watch them grow. Being their mom is amazing! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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  16. SickChristine
    Jun 25, 2017 @ 13:07:30

    I don’t have the teeth anymore, husband insisted I throw them away because he thought it was creepy. I kept my oldest’s first lock of hair from her first haircut and found it when she last visited. She said it was creepy. Hahhahaha! I still kept it.

    Liked by 2 people

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  17. TanGental
    Jun 25, 2017 @ 10:40:31

    Ah yes the baby teeth; we kept our kids too, in an old tea pot that formed part of a collection we have. Then, aged about 14 the Vet has friends round who, decide to look inside the pots. No idea why nor why the chose the one with the teeth… boy did we get a reputation as creepy parents, like a cross between the Adams family and something off Buffy

    Liked by 2 people

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  18. shelleywilson72
    Jun 25, 2017 @ 09:12:44

    Oh, Ritu! Yes to all of this! I realised I’d ‘lost’ my little girl when she wouldn’t hold my hand anymore in public. It was heart breaking. Now she has more shoes and make up than me!! My eldest son turns 19 in a few weeks and I have to look up at him when I speak, and yet I close my eyes and I’m back in the maternity ward! At least we can be proud that we’ve brought our children up the right way so they can embrace their independence, and show strength of character like your son has. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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  19. thebeasley
    Jun 25, 2017 @ 08:56:52

    I have no intention of letting go ha. I’m so in denial of her growing. Luckily, at almost 7yrs, I can continue with the tooth fairy, Father Christmas & Easter bunny. Your son sounds wonderful. A very sensible & wise little man. Well done you. You’re obviously doing a good job with your children xx

    Liked by 1 person

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  20. Rajiv
    Jun 24, 2017 @ 06:21:38

    Dwayne Johnson is the tooth fairy. Trust me on this one

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  21. dearanonymousfriend
    Jun 23, 2017 @ 21:34:16

    I saved my girls teeth also… you work so hard for those stupid teeth to come in, it just seems wrong to dispose of them… My kids were far enough apart that as one was cutting teeth the other was popping them under her pillow… I walked the floor many a night wondering what was the use, they were going to fall out anyhow! This is a precious post… but, I will tell you that you will still be Mummy some time, when their hearts are broken or they just need comforting… mine are now 38 and 34 and every once in a while I pick up the phone and hear, Mommy…. and I melt.

    Liked by 1 person

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  22. willowdot21
    Jun 23, 2017 @ 10:50:48

    It is never time to let go Sis, two of my boys are in their forties, one in his thirties with a wife and two children. I feel their pain, share their joy,rage at their bosses and people who hurt then… silently. They bleed we bleed the are happy we are they are our babies.💜💖💜

    Liked by 1 person

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  23. Tony Burgess
    Jun 23, 2017 @ 09:56:56

    This Christmas check out the movie The Polar Express and it talks about Santa/Father Christmas being real or not. It’s a Tom Hanks movie so you can’t go wrong.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  24. Marje @ Kyrosmagica
    Jun 22, 2017 @ 19:33:51

    Oh, this may me smile. I did the same thing fell asleep and forgot to put the money under the pillow! Terrible mum… They grow up so quick Ritu. Mine are so very grown up it amazes me. Where did all that time go? Sounds like your son is a sensible lad, well done to him for talking to his mate and diffusing what might have become a difficult situation.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  25. robbiesinspiration
    Jun 22, 2017 @ 19:07:56

    Gregory said to me one day when he was about eight years old “Mom, Father Christmas is the milk of human kindness.” Greg had worked out that he wasn’t a man on a sleigh that delivered presents to good children because he noticed that poor children only go donated presents. Our kids are amazing.

    Liked by 1 person

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  26. Judy E Martin
    Jun 22, 2017 @ 14:59:20

    Although I kept the Tooth Fairy going with Miss Hap,nothing could persuade me to keep the fallen out teeth!!! Believe it or not, that makes me feel a little queasy!! I don’t see anything wrong in those littlee cropped top for little girls, Sis, as you say, they are practical and comfy 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

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  27. colinandray
    Jun 22, 2017 @ 13:58:25

    A pound! A fiver! We were thrilled if we found a sixpence under our pillow. I suddenly feel old. Thx Ritu! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  28. jacquelineobyikocha
    Jun 22, 2017 @ 10:13:25

    Ha! Good to know that I am not the only mama who collects a jumble of fallen teeth. Sentimental reasons I guess. Lovely post 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  29. weggieboy
    Jun 22, 2017 @ 09:53:15

    Wow! I know I’m older than dirt! The tooth fairy only gave me the equivalent of slightly less than 20 pence (a US 25 cent piece) for my teeth. A pound seems extravegant, but a FIVER?? A TENNER?! Whew! You lucked out, Ritu!

    Liked by 1 person

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  30. thegirlnextdoor
    Jun 22, 2017 @ 09:25:00

    Cute 😍 Read a cute post after a long time.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  31. Em Linthorpe
    Jun 22, 2017 @ 08:43:35

    I just love this and I empathise with it all ☺ it’s pride and excitement watching them grow into young adults, mixed with apprehension about doing the right things by them ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  32. davidprosser
    Jun 22, 2017 @ 08:38:36

    Ah, it’s so hard to admit children are growing up. Little girls especially when you have to start clothing them when they just want to run around free and unencumbered. remember the crop top stage with my daughter. She’s older than you now Ritu with two beautiful children yet she’s still my baby.
    xxx Massive Hugs xxx

    Liked by 1 person

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  33. amindfultravellerblog
    Jun 22, 2017 @ 08:04:37

    Ahhh, the joys. They will always be your babies no matter what age they are. It’s the pleasure of watching your kids grow up. 🙂
    https://amindfultravellerblog.wordpress.com/

    Liked by 2 people

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