Tweenage Thoughts – Special Cuddles and Behaviour Charts!

28 Jun 2017 79 Comments

by Ritu in Children, Family, Thoughts Opinions & Memories Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

I love my kids.

Last week I touched on the fact that they were both getting older and, well, quite frankly, there is nothing I can do about it.

I guess it is important to embrace it all, and enjoy the fact that there will be a whole lot more ‘Blogger Fodder’ over the next few years!

Take this last week…

I am having to really accept that my little girl, my baby, my Lil Princess, is no longer ‘little’! Watching a film, an s-e-x scene came on. (It was a tame one, honestly, I am not subjecting my children to porn!)  Both she and her brother averted their eyes, with the usual kid cries of “Eeeeugh! Disgusting!!! Is it finished yet?!”

Admittedly, I think Lil Man may have been watching through his fingers, but I can’t be sure…!

Then Lil Princess said to me, “Mummy, are they having ‘special cuddles’ then?”

She knows.

She’s nine, and she knows.

I was not prepared for her knowing things like that… not yet! She’s not due for that talk at school until next year!

I actually found out that she was aware what sex was in March. We went shopping for my best friend’s baby shower. I was buying some cutesie bits and bobs, along with the obligatory disposable maternity pants and perinneum massage oil, when she giggled and showed me a tube of nipple cream.

Obviously nipple is a funny word for kids of a certain age.

She went on to find several brands, and then nipple protectors too, giggling at every find.

We had a short conversation as to why these items (not the perinneum massage oil!) were necessary for a new mum.

In the car on the way home, she was obviously feeling quite comfortable with being so open with me, so broached another issue…

“Mummy, when a pregnant lady goes for a poo, what stops the baby coming out too?”

A perfectly sensible question… until you realise that your nine-year-old doesn’t actually believe that babies come from a stork, or the hospital, or some other airy fairy idea! She knows they come from, ahem, down below!!!!

I calmly answered honestly, and then followed up on her statement. I was eager to know where she got this info from. I mean, she doesn’t know about periods yet!

So, the font of her knowledge was…. her brother! Really?!! I told him not to mention these things to his little sister, but then, that’s your typical brother! Lil Man couldnt help it.

I asked her what she know exactly.

“It’s a bit inappropriate to talk about mummy, you know that! It’s about ‘special cuddles’!”

(We had been to see frogs in the school pond with my class, and in the morning there was a pond full of frog on frog action happening, then when we took the afternoon kids, the pond was teeming with freshly laid frogspawn. When asked what the frogs were doing, my colleague answered that they were just having ‘special cuddles’! The term has now stuck in my family, to descrive what my kids call ‘innapprpriate behaviour’!)

Then she said, “Oh mummy, everyone knows it in my playground, they all talk about it!”

Really??!! A bunch of eight and nine year olds having conversations about sex?!

Well, we had a short, frank conversation about the basics, so she wasn’t being fed wrong information, and left at that for now.

But since then, she has been much more open with me about any of these issues!

Oh my, the fun of being a mum to Tweens!

And another thing…

She made me a chart.

Me!

A CHART?!?

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Why do I have a chart?

Because on the weekend, I had a meltdown. The kids were driving me insane, Hubby Dearest was out, and they were arguing, winding each other up, not listening, being kids…

I ended up in tears, literally.

Later in the evening, my daughter presented me with the above. My very own chart.

“Mummy, I’m going to keep this chart for you. You don’t get angry, you get a point on the happy side. You shout at us, you get a point on the angry side. It will help me too, you try not to get angry, I will try not to get angry too. We can help each other!”

(Considering half the time I get angry is because of her behaviour, humph! But still, at least she is acknowledging that she needs to calm down too, in a roundabout way!)

So, this is how I have ended up with a behaviour chart. Me. The mum!

And now I must be off, need to get ready to welcome that Lil Man into his final tween year tomorrow!!!!

Have a great day Peeps!

Do let me know if you have ever been made a chart by your kids!!!

79 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Trackback: The Birds and the Bees: Round 2! #MondayBlogs | But I Smile Anyway...

  2. josypheen
    Dec 21, 2017 @ 20:07:25

    Ritu, I know I am late to this chatty party, but it is pretty hilarious that she made you a behavior chart! How long did it last?

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  3. Losing the Plot
    Dec 21, 2017 @ 11:39:58

    Nipple is always a funny word, even for grown ups.
    we got asked the question “What is a sexy?” Nearly choked laughing 😂 then it transcribed that our 9yo son has been reading an encyclopaedia in school during Library time 🤦‍♀️ gotta love em

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  4. Shailaja V
    Dec 21, 2017 @ 09:39:45

    As a mom to a tween this made for a delightful read. 😀 ‘Ha,’Special cuddles’ indeed! That’s a cute term 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  5. hotmessmemoir
    Jul 01, 2017 @ 21:38:34

    Dude! I am STRUGGLING with the whole sex thing with my 12 year old. I know he knows all about it because he laughs at jokes that have sexual undertones that only my husband and I used to get. That chart is ADORABLE!!!! Good luck!!!

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

  6. angelanoelauthor
    Jul 01, 2017 @ 21:27:47

    Oh how I love that your daughter made you a chart! I definitely deserve one, too. And though my son hasn’t made one for me, I suspect he keeps tabs in his mind.
    So much to think about with the kids growing up! I think the short, direct facts is absolutely the way to go.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

  7. Brenna
    Jul 01, 2017 @ 17:48:55

    Mine are still little, I am going to be rereading this in a few years! lol

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

  8. Pam Avoledo
    Jul 01, 2017 @ 16:33:02

    I don’t know what I would’ve said. Something stupid would’ve stumbled out of my mouth. I think you handled it well. The behaviour chart is too funny, though.!

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

  9. Jennifer
    Jul 01, 2017 @ 16:28:40

    Omg. She’s so precious. Hug her tight and don’t let her grow up. Seriously though, she’s actually a pretty thoughtful kid creating that chart for you.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  10. Lisa Orchard
    Jul 01, 2017 @ 15:46:56

    Great post. My kids are at that age where they’re learning about sex as well. I love your daughter’s question. She’s smart. Could mean trouble for you! LOL! Just kidding! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  11. Traci York
    Jul 01, 2017 @ 15:37:48

    Absolutely love the “special cuddles” catch phrase! Our kidlets described things like that as, “grown up stuff” and “big girl stuff” (things relating to my month visitor), and had similar reactions whenever characters on the TV even just kissed! And even though we’re about to have two 20+ kidlets (the middle child turns 20 on the 11th), and the youngest is at the not-so-young age of 17, I still don’t want to believe the fact that they know about the “s-e-x” word. LOL!

    Liked by 1 person

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  12. You Can Always Start Now
    Jul 01, 2017 @ 12:49:46

    I think I need a chart………..

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  13. Judy E Martin
    Jul 01, 2017 @ 12:44:04

    They do know so much the youngsters now! I knew nothing at all until I was about 12 when someone tried to explain to me about periods, and even then I thought they were telling lies!
    I love Lil’ Princess’ angry face drawing on the reward chart. That looks like me sometimes when Miss Hap is driving me mad. Dadly pretty frequently at the moment as she is now 14!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  14. Gary
    Jul 01, 2017 @ 12:18:28

    At last I get to see this chart! Very funny, well..not the meltdown, but I feel your pain there! Anyone raising kids finds it at some point…several times if they are any good too! Mine have gone beyond tweets now so I can reflect back with a smile and a chuckle…not out of any humourous poke fun type of way, but with nostalgia and a modicum of relief I’m still sane. Although insane people might also reason they ate sane too…scratch that part!

    I also think re sex, it’s not new to be that far ahead here. Many recent generations have the talks in groups at school and probably use the Internet to fill in gaps…eek, nobody likes pondering that one!! Lovely post Ritu and contrary to the “rules” shhh, I’m still going to tweet and stuff on the quiet lol

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  15. Phil Taylor
    Jul 01, 2017 @ 11:01:57

    Wow! Society has surely changed if 9 year olds are aware of sex. Her behavior chart for you is hilarious. I hope you get a lot of stars on the good side this weekend!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  16. asseenonjean
    Jul 01, 2017 @ 10:51:38

    It sounds like you’re having an interesting time of questions at the monument! It’s a tricky age but it sounds like you’re handling it well 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  17. thebeasley
    Jul 01, 2017 @ 10:32:56

    Hahaha. I absolutely love the chart! Oh your kids sound brilliant. It’s great that your daughter feels like she can openly talk to you about things. “Special cuddles” ha that’s exactly what I told mine about the two tortoises doing it.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  18. fancypaperblog
    Jul 01, 2017 @ 10:08:46

    I don’t know which is scarier. The sex chat or the chart? I am loving my kids as they are (3 and 1) even though they could challenge a saint. I want to freeze time when they are being sweet😇

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  19. John Holton
    Jun 30, 2017 @ 20:06:50

    I was drinking coffee when I got to the line about pregnant ladies going for a poo and now I’m trying to get coffee out of my sinuses…

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  20. tanssityttö
    Jun 29, 2017 @ 21:32:42

    I think I did also know sex in that age. The more I was wondering how you haven’t told of periods for your nine year old? Some girls got those in that age so I think you should tell her or she can get scared when those come like my grandma’s sister who didn’t know and thought she’s sick.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  21. rprakashrao
    Jun 29, 2017 @ 12:46:55

    Well this is the most amazing post of I have witnessed so far..truly blown away to the days of mine during the special cuddles on TV withbmy parents!!!nice all the way

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  22. SickChristine
    Jun 28, 2017 @ 14:34:25

    That is adorable. I’ve never had them make me a chart. The only thing I have is a note my grown daughter made when she was young. It says “don’t freak out.” I guess we were freaking out that day and she needed to remind us to chill out. Hahaha!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  23. colinandray
    Jun 28, 2017 @ 13:57:04

    I can still remember my 13 yr old (?) daughter coming home from school with a big smile on her face, and announcing “We learned today how babies are made!” We did the usual (for us) “Oh that’s nice. What did they teach you?” (Coy giggles and nervous wriggling followed). “C’mon Melanie. There’s nothing wrong with it, but we’d like to know just how much you know.” “Well,” she said, “it’s disgusting what you have to do… and you guys have done it twice!” (she has a brother). “Ugh!”

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  24. vanbytheriver
    Jun 28, 2017 @ 12:04:50

    Ahh…they grow up, no matter what we do !! Love your behavior chart, they are paying attention.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  25. Mani Witch ~
    Jun 28, 2017 @ 11:18:06

    Best age 30+ Horror Story Ever ! Shocking and Funny ! The Baby Pooping Pregnant Lady Scene was the creepiest scene of Horror Movie History !

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  26. jennymarie4
    Jun 28, 2017 @ 06:44:09

    That chart is hilarious! Great post, you definitely had me smiling😊

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  27. Sue Vincent
    Jun 28, 2017 @ 06:35:53

    They never made me a chart…though there were some fank discussion about my behaviour 🙂 Frank discussions too whent rhe concept of special cuddles came along ( I used that term too in the earliest days). Mine were about the same ages as yours when that all kicked off…but thank goodness for a sense of humour…and the fact mine were both boys! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  28. amindfultravellerblog
    Jun 28, 2017 @ 05:30:12

    This is priceless Ritu. I was laughing out loud reading you post. I can so relate to this 🙂 These kids are always one step ahead of us. Hehe.

    Liked by 1 person

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