He’s Growing Up… AAAAAAARRRGGHHH!!!! #ThrowbackThursday

28 Sep 2017 81 Comments

by Ritu in Children, Family, Thoughts Opinions & Memories Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

I believe I deserve a pat on  the back.

No, really, I do!

For the last few weeks, I could have spent all my blogging time, boring you about this, butI have waited, until the last week of the holidays to put in writing my next big challenge…

Sending my son to Secondary School!

Seriously. It’s a HUGE thing! I need to confess, I have eaten rather more chocolate than I should have today as I have been feeling the nerves! (Oops, hello again you 2lbs that I lost last week!)

I don’t call him Lil Man for no reason. He’s a dot of a boy. He doesn’t look old enough to be starting the next educational chapter of his life.

Heck, even the woman at the uniform shop today did a double take when I said we were picking bits up for Secondary School for him! But when I uttered that phrase (great things come in small packages) she nodded sagely… she was a shorty too!

But back to the matter at hand. I have been a little bit in denial.

There is an extensive list of uniform that is required for the school, and certain items of stationary that he needs to have. If he doesn’t bring the correct items in, he will get demerit points, and we can’t have that!

In the first week of the holidays, all those weeks ago, we bought some stuff. Trousers (that I’ll need to hem up) shirts, ties, socks… Mathematics set, calculator… those kinds of things. There was still a blazer, sports kit and school bag left to get, though.

Each passing week, I have thought about it, then kind of brushed it to the side. Then decorating happened. A valid ‘Get out of uniform shopping’ card!

Last week passed in a blur of not an awful lot.

Today, however, it hit home.

I have a son who is going to secondary school!

In less than a week!

And I don’t have all his clothes!

He wants to have a clean record card, no demerits, and because of me and my apprehensions , he will go to school ill-equipped and end up with those negative marks on his card, BECAUSE OF ME!

So I got the kids ready, and we went on a mission.

First shop. No blazers in his size. No tracksuits in his size. No Shorts in his size… get the picture? But we found some school shoes, trainers, and Lil Princess got her trainers and plimsolls too. £50 spent.

Shop two. Yes! A blazer in the right size! Drat! No pocket to sew his badge onto! No tracksuits, but we located shorts! £5 spent.

Shop three was the specialist uniform shop. I hesitated to go there as the prices are inflated, and it is busy, but needs must…(note to self, next year, be MORE PREAPARED!) We parked up and there was a lot of people on the pavement ahead… This was the queue for getting in the shop!

Apparently, all these organised people had been in, and ordered their uniforms, and were picking up altered items… yeah yeah, don’t rub your organisation in… I’m feeling like a very bad Virgo right now!

Anyway, after about 15 minutes we were in, being served by the lovely aforementioned ‘little’ shop assistant, and we came away with a blazer, two tracksuits, sports socks… and me being another fifty quid lighter.

Now you all know I’m all for losing the pounds at the moment, but I meant lbs, not £££’s!!!

That was over £100 in the space of an hour, and that was only part of the uniform cost. Not taking in the other £100 we must have spent on the bits previously! This whole clothing kids thing… very pricey!

Now, what is left? School bag, football shoes and the dreaded task of altering trousers, sewing badges on blazers, and naming what feels like hundreds of items of clothing! Thankfully I have these great clothing naming stamps by a company called Stamptastic, that stamp the names on clothes, with a waterproof, wash proof ink that last for many washes!

And the next thing… the whole mobile phone issue. All his mates have been given phones for the start of secondary school. Most of the mums I have spoken to have admitted that, yes, their children have phones now.

We were not sure. 11 seems quite young for a phone. But equally, it seems like a good idea. He can let us know when he is home, so we don’t worry. Can text us any changes in after school routines.

Hubby Dearest has been totally against getting one.

I, on the other hand, possibly being the protective mother, would like to know I can get in touch with him if need be, and vice versa.

The children both actually have phones. Well, the handsets anyway, to use as mini tablets on WiFi at home, with no SIM cards. They are old phones of ours, not especially bought ones. All it would take is inserting a SIM into his, and he would be good to go.

Today, after much huffing and puffing, we decided to do the deed… stick that SIM into the slot… I had 2 pay as you go SIMS at home, as a bonus when I upgraded my latest handset.

What a letdown!

The phone needs unlocking first!

So that’s another job for tomorrow. Get the phone unlocked, sort the SIM card out, and then get ready for a barrage of WhatsApp messages from him. That is what he is so excited to do!

We have been over ground rules regarding the phone already.

  • He won’t have data, just WiFi access, to reduce the temptation to game or message on the go.
  • The WiFi will be there at home or his grandparent’s place.
  • At bed time, I get the handset to reduce the temptation to chat to his friends into the wee hours.
  • He gets it in the morning.
  • It is not to be used at school inappropriately, only looked at during break and lunch, if needed.

Well, they are the rules so far. And if he plays up, well, we just take the phone away!

And this leads me on to the biggest issue…

I don’t think I’m ready to send my Lil Man to Big School!

It’s especially hard as I have been near him all through his Primary education, teaching at the same institution. I knew everything, his teachers, what he was doing all the time, I knew if he needed me, I was just a few short steps away.

Now he is leaving me!

But I take solace in the thought that he is not nervous at all, really excited, and wanting to grow his independence. He’s excited to walk part of the way to school, I wanna drop him off! He looks forward to walking home at the end of the day with some of his friends. I want to know someone will pick him up.

But I will not voice these fears.

I want my boy to be confident. I want him to overcome his small stature by showing that he is more than capable. I am leaving the spoken worrying to his Dad and Grandma, who also want to keep him wrapped up in cotton wool, and are more vocal about it.

Oh, and starting Secondary School, will the next step be liking girls??? Even though he still says “Yuck!” at the thought of ever liking them, recently he has been doing sit ups, and wanting to develop a six-pack! (It’s more of a two-pack at the moment!)… more on that another time!

Wow, I waffled on loads there! Sorry Peeps!

I guess next week will have me recounting, second by second, how it felt to leave him at his new school, and not know ANYTHING! And then the anxious wait until I know hi[s home safe from his first day…

And you know I will have to introduce you to my class of this year!

A little pre-cap… my class is going to be 75% EAL, as in English as an Additional Language! 50% of my class are Punjabi! I know of at least one with possible special needs. They are all so tiny. But hopefully, no nappies this time!

So, wish me luck with the sewing, the naming, the letting go…

And please, you mums and dads out there, how did you cope when you child took their first steps into independence?

 

81 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Jennie
    Sep 29, 2017 @ 02:21:27

    Ritu, this was a post full of heart and worry and love and school. Wow! Your little guy will be fine. I know, your head already knows that, but your heart worries. Roots and Wings. Give a child the roots (which you have) and then the wings, knowing that the roots will be his guiding light.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  2. potatosandwich
    Sep 28, 2017 @ 17:58:55

    A phone with a SIM… It’s a whole new ball game you’re entering now… Be prepared.. If the phone number list reads ‘A Singh, B Singh, C Singh’ then something is not right…. All the best to the little man on his new chapter.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  3. Tikeetha T
    Sep 28, 2017 @ 15:11:25

    I’m not there yet. Please share an update on what you’ve learned. I would be freaking out too Ritu.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  4. OIKOS™-Redaktion
    Sep 28, 2017 @ 14:20:35

    Reblogged this on Die Erste Eslarner Zeitung – Aus und über Eslarn, sowie die bayerisch-tschechische Region!.

    Like

    Reply

  5. ks385196
    Sep 28, 2017 @ 14:17:25

    This is the first year in 24 years i have not got a child at school All my baby’s have grown now I hate it LOL X

    Liked by 1 person

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  6. charlypriest
    Sep 28, 2017 @ 13:43:17

    He got a good role model, he’ll be o.k

    Liked by 1 person

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  7. Fourth Generation Farmgirl
    Sep 28, 2017 @ 13:08:35

    Your apprehension is understandable. You’ve prepared Lil Man well. I’m sure you will both come through with flying colors. All the best!! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  8. beehalton2
    Sep 28, 2017 @ 10:52:37

    Hope all went well!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  9. Osyth
    Sep 28, 2017 @ 08:34:31

    It’s such an emotional time for a mum …. and it wasn’t any better with the second third and fourth, for me. But they all took to Secondary like ducklings to a pond and I am sure Lil Man will too. A tiny duckling in a big pond but he will thrive. And you will survive 🙂 ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

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  10. Kurian
    Sep 28, 2017 @ 05:51:45

    Here’s a loving pat on the back, supermom 🌹

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  11. nimi naren
    Sep 01, 2016 @ 03:02:14

    Good luck to Lil Man Ritu

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  12. Judy Martin
    Aug 31, 2016 @ 19:07:51

    It is a huge step and I know how I felt when my daughter went and now she is going to be in year 9!! I was scared of her getting the bus, worried about how she would adapt to a huge school and many other things besides. She is settling in and making her presence known now though!! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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  13. joey
    Aug 31, 2016 @ 15:54:17

    Yes, our protocols are pretty much identical to yours. It’s just another step in the letting go part. It seems to have gone faster some days…
    My girl children all seem to thrive (have thrived) in the big schools, but I think my son might could have benefited from a smaller high school. It’s hard to say.
    At any rate, you’ll know what’s best. And if not, you can always say you’re sorry. You’re a good mama.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  14. Tikeetha T
    Aug 31, 2016 @ 15:27:57

    Mine is still a little bit younger, but I would probably be kicking and screaming and crying that I’m not ready for him to grow up. Natural stuff really.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  15. Bikramjit
    Aug 31, 2016 @ 07:07:30

    He will be fine.. imagine how charged up the little man is raring to go I bet.. and the excitement for the next step..

    My best wishes …. did you buy the term plus bus pass.. that’s another £100+ 😀😀😀

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  16. Erika Kind
    Aug 31, 2016 @ 06:21:55

    Sis, believe me I hear you! It was special with my daughter (the oldest) and she was even younger than all the others bit I did not worry that much. But with my odest boy it was different. He went to a higher grade school further away and as the only one of his year. Also he has been such a dreamer. I worried that he would manage it with the busses, in that big school building, and that he simply felt lost all by himself. When he came home that first day I asked him how his day was and how everything went. He said: “All went well, why are you asking?” That made me think. He did not bother at all and just took it one step at a time. Don’t worry too much and don’t make Lil Man feel your worries. He will be fine and even more when he feels the trust in him. He is proud of his new step into the big-boy age…. enjoy it with him. What can really happen?

    Liked by 1 person

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    • Ritu
      Aug 31, 2016 @ 07:25:02

      Exactly sis…I know… but you know what it’s like… us mums can’t help but worry a little!!!!

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

      • Erika Kind
        Aug 31, 2016 @ 07:39:53

        I totally understand you. Most of all when it is the first time! But as I experienced it they deal much better with it than we do…. lol! We still see the little ones and it is a new experience to find out how they developed. Next year my oldest son we go to study at any university somewhere and he won’t come home during the week. Depending on the distance not even on the weekends. I don’t worry about it. But for sure it will be another step for me too to let go.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Ritu
        Aug 31, 2016 @ 07:44:51

        Sis, we all have to let go, don’t we…. At one time or another! It’s a learning curve for all involved at every stage of a child’s life journey!

        Liked by 1 person

      • Erika Kind
        Aug 31, 2016 @ 08:20:32

        So, so true! I think we never are done with learning that. Even my mother still needs to deal with that now that her grandchildren are growin up. Life keeps us in motion and it is wonderful! To be honest, I don’t want to go any step back, never!

        Liked by 1 person

      • Ritu
        Aug 31, 2016 @ 08:37:57

        No… not any back steps please!!! Lol!!!

        Liked by 1 person

      • Erika Kind
        Aug 31, 2016 @ 08:51:14

        LOL!!!! 😘

        Liked by 1 person

  17. pranabaxom
    Aug 31, 2016 @ 05:03:36

    My little one flying the coup to college in two and half weeks.

    There will be no one to fight with at home😭

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  18. susieshy45
    Aug 31, 2016 @ 04:44:48

    Lovely post, Ritu. I had no sending off qualms at all – am I odd ?I enjoyed having my children grow up and letting their wings fly.
    I love my children to bits but as I am growing with them in age though not in stature, I feel their need to be out in the world they need to be in.
    When they come with their worries to me, I feel like wrapping them up in cotton wool especially the elder one- the younger one, my attitude seems to be – been there done that”.
    I am not sure about the mobile phone part though- gave my elder one a phone only after she got to college.
    The younger one still doesn’t have one- their school doesn’t allow phones.
    I guess the uniform part is an English thing and part of the colonies stuff. I have seem American children wear what they want to school. School uniforms and fees are pricey and also school bus fees.
    Let us know your adventures with the Punjabi babies this school year.
    Good luck with all your changes.
    Susie

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    • Ritu
      Aug 31, 2016 @ 07:22:59

      Thank you Susie!
      We never had phones either… but I think it’s the era… I hate to buy into it, but equally I like the thought of being able to contact him…
      I shall indeed keep you all informed of my adventures!!!

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  19. amommasview
    Aug 31, 2016 @ 02:56:36

    Oh, and I’m totally with you re the phone!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  20. amommasview
    Aug 31, 2016 @ 02:56:14

    First of all I love the look of your blog. Then I also feel your heartache… my “little” boy is a teenager now. My girls has shot up and looks so much “older” suddenly too… Soon they will move out… Time flies, right, Ritu…

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply

  21. vanbytheriver
    Aug 31, 2016 @ 01:12:56

    So many memories here, Ritu. It’s just another step in the process, you will all survive, and thrive, no doubt. By the way, my kids never had cell phones in high school and they made it through just fine. Wishing you all the best. 💖

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    • Ritu
      Aug 31, 2016 @ 07:16:16

      Thank you Van! Oh there are so many stages… and when you have more than one, you need to go through things over and over… but yes, we’ll get through it!!!!

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  22. ladyleemanila
    Aug 31, 2016 @ 00:31:09

    I remember that part, and when the son left for university in a different country, or when he got married…. every phase is different, exciting and worrying, but I’ve survived, he survived and we’re both fine. You’ll be alright! Good luck, Ritu and the Lil Man 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

  23. Sue Vincent
    Aug 30, 2016 @ 23:43:20

    You’ll be fine… he’ll be fine… but don’t get your nails done for the first week, you’ll be biting them.
    My sympathies on the shopping… the school the lads ent to demanded everything fromcricket whites to rugby shirts and football boots. 😦

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

    • Ritu
      Aug 31, 2016 @ 07:11:26

      Had he gone to Grammar school the list would have been extensive but luckily as it’s the local comp, and a very good one at that, there are only a few things that we Have to get from particular places so that cut the cost… but it’s still frustrsting!
      Thanks Sue 😊

      Like

      Reply

      • Sue Vincent
        Aug 31, 2016 @ 07:33:29

        Mine were at the Grammar… and they even did fencing 😦 I do have a major gripe with a system that thinks intellect and money have any relationship to each other.I recall one of the headmasters from their junior school (very quickly an ex headmaster) voicing his defence of poor levels of achievement within his school as, ‘Well, what do you expect from Council estate kids?’ That kind of assuption and dismissal makes my blood boil.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Ritu
        Aug 31, 2016 @ 07:42:41

        Oh I totally understand what you mean. The opportunities to excel academically should be there for all who need and want it without the extra expense…
        Our school has a catchment area which had a varied demographic. We do have many children from disadvantaged backgrounds and from non English speaking families.
        Our results are generally lower than the national average, but that doesn’t mean we use it as an excuse. We find what the children can do, and support their growth so they too can achieve their full potential.
        I am always so proud to see ex students who are about to embark on things people thought they were incapable of 😊

        Like

      • Sue Vincent
        Aug 31, 2016 @ 07:51:19

        You expect a varied range of abilities and individual backgrounds will impact on both aptitude and attitude… but the assumption that poverty and lack of intellect go hand in hand appalls me. Sadly, what makes that true in a lot of cases is the financial pressure caused by higher education and Grammar school requirements.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Ritu
        Aug 31, 2016 @ 07:58:44

        Yup. It is crazy. I actually wonder whether we will be able to afford to even offer university to our kids. It was a privilege for us 20 years ago and we didn’t know how much of a privilege… until now 😊

        Like

      • Sue Vincent
        Aug 31, 2016 @ 08:01:28

        I was the financial equivalent of a ‘council estate kid’ and left school, reluctantly, at 16. I’ve never stopped learning though and I think that desire counts for as much as opportunity.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Ritu
        Aug 31, 2016 @ 08:37:16

        I believe that the thirst to learn is an innate quality. If a child has it in them, they will want to learn and excel, no matter which school they go to, and that that thirst will stick with them in life, pushing them to learn more.
        But you can only begin to quench the thirst by giving them a goid start in school. So they believe school and learning is fun, not just a necessity.
        It’s my aim as a nursery and primary school teacher, to foster that love for learning in as many creative ways as possible. I want to inspire my pupils and children to learn…

        Like

      • Sue Vincent
        Aug 31, 2016 @ 08:44:47

        From what I have seen, Ritu, you have both the skills and passion…and the character… to do just that.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Ritu
        Aug 31, 2016 @ 08:53:28

        Thank you for your faith Sue 😊😚

        Like

      • Sue Vincent
        Aug 31, 2016 @ 08:56:48

        🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  24. The V Pub
    Aug 30, 2016 @ 23:37:10

    It’s a big step! I’m not sure that I’m ready for what’s in store next. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  25. sonofabeach96
    Aug 30, 2016 @ 23:32:47

    I handle it better than mom. Papa bear’s leash is a bit longer than momma bear’s. I worry, but I trust until given a reason not to. My twins started what we call middle school here, but they’re 11 too, this year, and so far so good. We’ve still said no to phones at this point, but they’ll get one eventually. 😃

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply

  26. Miriam
    Aug 30, 2016 @ 23:26:22

    I remember this stage with both of my kids (my youngest is 15). It was a mixture of nerves, worry, excitement and pride. Good luck with it all Ritu, you’ll be fine. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

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