We all spend time moaning about our kids and their behaviour. It’s a parent’s prerogative, isn’t it?
Then we complain about how they never go out, and spend the whole time on phones and screens (devices we have given them…)
But we are too worried to send them out, like we used to go out. The world is a big, bad place, after all. Social Media and the internet tell us of all these awful things that happen out there. We wrap them up in a certain amount of cotton wool, because we all want to protect our pecious offspring.
A bit too much helicopter parenting, making sure you know exactly what your child is doing at all times, and with whom. Running yourself ragged to get them to all the places you have booked them into to keep them busy, getting frustrated at the cries of “I’m bored!” throughout the weekend and, oh, don’t talk to me about the longer holidays!
It is sad that many of us don’t have the confidence to send our kids out with a little slack on the leash we tend to keep them on.
I hold my hands up. I am guilty of this overprotectiveness.
But I am also aware of the fact that they have to grow up some time, and they do need to assert their independence. They are going to need to know how to deal with the world, after all.
I’ve hesitantly allowed Lil Man to go to the park with his friends, not long after an assault happened there, (dropping him off, and making sure he was with the right mates, before leaving), I have given Lil Princess the opportunity to walk home alone now, as she has to get ready for Secondary School next year. I’ve left them alone for a short while, as I do grocery shopping. They’ve walked to the shops alone.
Listing these things makes me wonder why I feel they are petty things that all kids should be doing anyway, but it has been hard letting go, believe me. And even if I feel they are ready, and capable of dealing with things, their dad is even more over protective of his children… so I do feel for them sometimes, battling against both of us, just so they can be kids… and experience everything we did.
However, today, we managed to overcome a big step.
The kids.
Out.
All afternoon.
On their bikes!
Ordinary, isn’t it? Something I remember my brother doing every day in the holidays. Disappearing after breakfast on his bike with his little gang of friends, appearing to eat lunch then disappearing again. If I had been the active, outdoory type, I’d have been allowed to do the same, but I preferred my book time, or a walk to the local shops, running errands for my mym (and buying teen magazines or cheap makeup from the chemist!)
Anyway, today the kids enjoyed a proper Old Skool kids afternoon, and they loved it!
We live in a cul de sac, and there are a few other children, but no one we knew. Then, a few months ago a new family moved in and they have a boy a similar age to Lil Man, and two girls, younger than Lil Princess. We fed them samosas on Diwali as we all stood out in the street at night, watching the Gurdwara fireworks display, and the bonding started.
The boy has come round a few times, playing Playstation or football in our garden, and Lil Man has been over to his house too.
As the days are better and evenings longer, we get back from school and they have been out, on bikes and scooters, in the safety of our road, and my two have joined them for short whiles. But their bikes were at the in-laws.
Today, we got back from Lil Man’s match, after picking their bikes up, and once they had eaten lunch, they went out… at 2pm… and I didn’t see them until nearly 6pm!
That was a biggie for me. But I read a little and snoozed on the sofa, knowing they were only outside.
When they got back, they were relaxed and happy, having made even more friends, as children from other familes that live on the road joined them too, and they rode bikes, played football, ran races, played games and chatted. All normal kids stuff, that didn’t involve screens at all!
They have now got a little gang of friends together that live here, who can safely get together, of different ages, and different backgrounds too (English, Indian, Polish, Arabic, African) and just one afternoon out together has made the atmosphere in our house totally different.
No arguing and angsty behaviour, just happy children who have exhaustend themselves in the most natural, child-like way.
There’s a lot to be said for fresh air, and just playing.
Here’s to many more afternoons where finally, my kids can be kids, the way I remember childhood.
What do you remember about your childhood that seems to be missing in our kids lives nowadays?
But I Smile Anyway... 
Jun 15, 2019 @ 06:37:56
I kept a very messy room as a kid. My dad came to tuck me in but didn’t turn the light on. As he went to leave he stepped in an empty plastic container which then slid across the carpet throwing him off balance, obviously tensing up to get his balance he let out this massive fart. I still cry laughing when I think about it.
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Jun 15, 2019 @ 07:30:28
He he!! Love a fart story!
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May 21, 2019 @ 01:58:13
Absolutely wonderful, Ritu. Yes, the way it should be, kids being kids. Letting go is hard, but it’s the best thing we can do for our kids. Roots and wings. 😍
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May 21, 2019 @ 07:00:26
Thanks Jennie! 😍 Though yesterday night they were out and Lil Man nearly got into a fight… One of the street boys is young but has a very aggressive manner was messing around and being rude to Lil Princess. Big brother kicked in and he defended her and got pushed and shoved around. He held back from retaliating though as the kid was younger, though chunkier… We had words with the parent. My boy ended up with scratches from this child!
Still, won’t let it ruin their fun… .
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May 21, 2019 @ 11:23:24
Oh, no! I’m glad all ended well and Lil Man held off retaliating. What did the parents say? And you’re right, it still shouldn’t ruin their fun.
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May 21, 2019 @ 12:33:28
The dad was very apologetic. It looks lie a child who doesn’t get many boundaries set at home and now his behaviour amongst normal children is showing up as unacceptable…
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May 22, 2019 @ 00:37:01
I understand. Hopefully this will be a wake up call for the dad.
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May 22, 2019 @ 06:56:48
The child wasn’t allowed out yesterday… But mine weren’t out anyway as they had other activities on…
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May 22, 2019 @ 12:08:08
I hope that is good news!
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May 22, 2019 @ 21:52:40
I hope so too Jennie!!! ❤
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May 23, 2019 @ 00:15:53
😍
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May 20, 2019 @ 14:27:06
Glorious days of freedom. It is hard to know when to let them roam free.
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May 20, 2019 @ 15:36:14
It is so hard!!! But one day, we have to.,..
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May 20, 2019 @ 13:52:43
So true Sis, but you are honoured managing this in the best way ever. Kids have to learn real life too. Over the last two decades the communities had changed a lot. I think children today have to learn much more as many generations in the past. Michael
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May 20, 2019 @ 15:35:19
They do indeed Bro. I am trying my hardest!
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May 20, 2019 @ 10:09:33
I hear you, Ritu. It is a great tragedy that children can no longer enjoy these childhood joys. It is even worse here in South Africa where everyone hides behind high walls and electric fences. Fortunately, my sons do get to do a lot of fun things at school which provides some of these outlets. I am very happy your children are getting a bit of freedom.
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May 20, 2019 @ 12:48:39
And the benefits are so wide ranging Robbie! They hopefully won’t be as moody as they have been out and spent energy and frustrations!
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May 20, 2019 @ 01:43:27
This is great – I had a childhood much like the one you described – out for hours and no one checking up on me. Yet somehow now it’s different, isn’t it? I was just thinking about this tonight, before I read your post. Our children are older (teens and 20s) and going out on their own, in cars and doing all the things I did at that age, but it still makes me uneasy. But as parents we have to let them go, hard as it is!
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May 20, 2019 @ 06:53:54
It’s the hardest thing, letting go, but we do have to do it… Different or not. I guess we need to just make sure we give the right guidance 💜
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May 20, 2019 @ 13:41:18
Nerves of steel! 🙂
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May 20, 2019 @ 15:34:23
Truly need them!
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May 19, 2019 @ 20:15:39
I find your post refreshing and enlightening as so many families keep their kids locked away because it is so obvious that times are so much more different now than when we were kids.
When I was younger, my mom had to beg and plead for me to come back indoors most times. I was happy to be playing, riding my bike to the park, and playing with my dog.
Don’t get me wrong, when I was little my father instilled in me to not trust strangers. He was a police officer when I was a little kid.
One day one of his officer friends drove up alongside me when I got off the school bus and asked me if I wanted a ride the rest of the way.
Needless to say, I screamed my bloody head off, dropped my books, and ran home like my butt was on fire.
He felt so utterly bad for scaring the crap out of me, as he explained to both my parents. I’ll never forget what he told them… “You trained her well!”
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May 19, 2019 @ 20:22:43
Ha ha! It’s a double edged sword, isn’t it!
Parenting is tough no matter when we do it!!
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May 19, 2019 @ 20:04:19
This is such a lovely post Sis. This is how it should be. I remember spending hours playing out, riding in buses going no where with a packed lunch. … It natural it fun it’s healthy. Well done Sis 💜 plus from what you said the children have experienced a bit of this
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May 19, 2019 @ 20:21:10
They definitely have sis! 💜 It’s been lovely ❤️
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May 19, 2019 @ 20:24:19
Keep it up Sis 💜
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May 19, 2019 @ 20:35:36
I’ll try!
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May 19, 2019 @ 22:04:38
I know you will 💜
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May 19, 2019 @ 19:42:34
God Bless and guide you in the raising of your children. My childhood was filled with many societal challenges. Having lived through race riots which played out in our yards and surrounding areas. I can only imagine as to what you experience, and how it can be overwhelming.
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May 19, 2019 @ 19:55:46
I think every era has had it’s worries for each generation of parents, and I’m sure they have all had to deal with the worries in their own way, but yes, Thank you for the blessing!!!!!
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May 19, 2019 @ 19:39:39
YES! Now that my kids are of the age that they’re allowed to be unsupervised in our little town, etc., I’ve told them they can hop on their bikes and be off. They’re still not so sure, so we did a dry run yesterday, me with them. We went down to the river’s edge and they played like boys–got their pant legs wet, poked a dead fish with a stick. And I just let them do their thing. I said, in the summer you can do this on your own–and once they knew that also meant going to the little store and buying candy (without me looming over them disapprovingly) they were excited. Next, I’m getting them fishing poles!
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May 19, 2019 @ 19:54:34
It is quite an enlightening time for us as parents too, letting go… but I am so happy they had a great time, and I hope it continues! Our town doesn’t always have the best reputation, so this is why I have been hesitant to allow them out, but knowing they are developing friendships on our road, and playing unsupervised is wonderful!
You are brave with the fishing poles!!!
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May 19, 2019 @ 19:35:48
This is refreshing to hear. They learn so much from one another when they are allowed to just be kids, social skills they will need later in life.
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May 19, 2019 @ 19:52:23
Oh I agree, and I can;t believe it has taken this long for us to feel comfortable enough to allow them to go out, unleashed!
I always lament about parents who don’t take their kids out. At least our children have those opportunities, but this building independence, and social skills, outside of school, is so important. The holidays will be much more bearable if they can go out, and who knows, I may even get some writing done!!
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