Spidey’s Serene Sunday – Part 233 – Parenting

18 Aug 2019 71 Comments

by Ritu in Spidey's Serene Sundays Tags: , , , , , , , ,

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“If you have never been hated by your child, you have never been a parent.”

Bette Davis

Thanks Spidey, for that.

Bette Davis, I hear ya sister!

I can tell my household is filled with teen and tweenage hormones.

The angst clouding the atmosphere can sometimes be so thick, I need my own knife to cut it, just so I can get around my house.

And over the last few weeks, I have had “I Hate You!” thrown at me so many times, it is unbelieveable!

Truthfully, I don’t hear it much from the older one.

He’s a little more subtle, with his brooding stares of death, and retreating to the garden to work off frustrations in the garden, whacking cricket balls around, or taking part in lengthy battles on Tekken 7, battering poor unsuspecting characters to submission on screen.

Once he’s done that, any moods disperse, and he’ll be quite calm again.

But the other one. OMG.

Maybe it’s because she’s the female of the species – though I don’t recall ever being this moody at her age!

But, seriously. WOW!

All it takes is saying “Can you change please?” or “Time for a shower.”

Yeah fine, sometimes I’m cramping her style, not allowing her to express herself through her interesting dress sense… butI need her to look decent, or respectable, at least.

But other times, all it takes is a “Good morning!” and the bedroom door is slammed shut in a huff. I’m left standing there thinking “Whaddidido?”

Last night, after insisting she went and showered, I heard the unmistakeable youth chant “Oh, I HATE you!” as she slammed the door again – the bathroom one this time.

“I know,” I replied cheerily, and went off to my room to read.

The life of a parent, eh.

Two hours earlier she was sitting on my lap, posing for Snapchat selfies with the Mum she hates.

I do love her hate!

So, how long does this stage last, anyone? She’s 11…

So… tell me, which stage of parenthood are you going through right now?

71 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. annemariedemyen
    Nov 23, 2019 @ 03:55:46

    Still waiting – my daughter is 38. And now her daughters are becoming teenagers. A new generation of drama begins. 🤷. They did not teach this at pre-natal classes.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  2. sunniesmybunnies
    Sep 16, 2019 @ 18:09:40

    Love your opening line Ritu 🙂 lovely post !

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  3. meenawalia
    Aug 23, 2019 @ 14:01:02

    If I deny him anything ny youngest one always says,you NEVER give me anything..u never praise me,u never do anything for me..apparently never has recently become his favorite word..

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

  4. glasshiddenattic
    Aug 23, 2019 @ 13:08:58

    From experience, it is worse for a child to be hated by her mother… or, in other words, a mother trapped in the mind of an 8 year old that ends up somehow blaming the child for not being ”motherly”…

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  5. happyheartforever
    Aug 21, 2019 @ 03:21:17

    Totally enjoyed seeing the future drama at home. Mine are just entering their teens. This looks very helpful to stay ready for the ” I hate You” part. 😆

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

  6. Invisibly Me
    Aug 20, 2019 @ 17:23:21

    Great quote! 😂
    I don’t envy your role, sounds like you’ve got your work cut out for you! xx

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  7. OIKOS™-Publishing
    Aug 19, 2019 @ 16:08:58

    I totally agree, even without own experiences. 🙂 Michael

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  8. cath
    Aug 19, 2019 @ 14:51:33

    Sounds remarkably healthy!

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply

  9. thereluctantpoet
    Aug 19, 2019 @ 13:06:44

    Ha! Great post, Ritu!! If you don’t get “I hate you!!” from your kids you aren’t doing the job of parenting well!! I never let those words bother me. Actions speak louder than words. Perhaps, a family sit-down at the kitchen table would be good after you keep tabs of who said them and then go around and have them explain why they are saying such hurtful things to the Mom and Dad who love them. Make them verbalize “Why”. Then you can go down the list of “If you hate me …. then you don’t think I love you and do what’s best for you?” If you hate me then should I not do your laundry, drive you around, fix meals for you?? If you hate me does that mean you don’t want to be around me?? Another good way is to tie it to hurtful words from those at school etc. This is just lashing out and when you can hold it up to their face they usually get it. The best one is when they say that just run up to them and throw your arms around them and say, “I’m so happy you know how much I love you!:”
    Have a great week, My Dear!
    xoxox

    Liked by 2 people

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  10. thereluctantpoet
    Aug 19, 2019 @ 12:58:21

    Reblogged this on The Reluctant Poet.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

  11. Chocoviv
    Aug 19, 2019 @ 08:04:10

    I have been talking to my tween to prepare her for the emotional roller coaster…

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

  12. willowdot21
    Aug 18, 2019 @ 22:54:21

    Lol Sis, all I can say is nothing lasts forever 💜💜

    Liked by 4 people

    Reply

  13. John W. Howell
    Aug 18, 2019 @ 22:22:10

    Empty nest and miss the door slams. Enjoy it all cause too soon it is way too quiet.

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply

  14. Rebecca Moon Ruark
    Aug 18, 2019 @ 20:44:16

    I feel ya! Mine are only almost-10, and the attitudes are fierce! Just the way they sneer at me, like I’m SOOOO beneath them, drives me nuts. But I try to do what you do, keep the smile on. I’m not going to let my mood suffer because they’re dealing with hormonal weirdness and angst! Soon enough, we’ll all be suffering with hormonal changes–ack, what will life be like then!?

    Liked by 3 people

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  15. srbottch
    Aug 18, 2019 @ 17:20:41

    Forever, just different ways. I think the lasting vice is that they’re always right. Best solution, just listen and say, ‘Uh-huh, I see’. And ours (a daughter, the younger of two, the other a boy whose mannerisms you described perfectly) is 40. Good luck…😂😂😂😂😂

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

  16. H.R.R. Gorman
    Aug 18, 2019 @ 16:04:27

    Given that I know parents have eyes in the backs of their heads, maybe now we know the origin of “Bette Davis Eyes!”

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

  17. Jane Dougherty
    Aug 18, 2019 @ 14:35:50

    They’re all different. I didn’t have moody children, but one of them made up for the other four. She started when she was three, spent most of her teenage years stuck to the ceiling, went into orbit when she was about seventeen, and has been cruising at altitude ever since.
    There are no rules; it’s a lottery. Just keep saying no.

    Liked by 3 people

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  18. Darlene Foster
    Aug 18, 2019 @ 12:59:18

    I feel for you as I’ve been there but by the time she turned 17, all was fine and we had great conversations and still do. We will never agree on everything but then why should we, we are individuals. We now laugh at those early teen years.

    Liked by 3 people

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  19. Erika Kind
    Aug 18, 2019 @ 11:47:36

    Having three children (almost all grown up) I know each stage of being not much appreciated (hated seems a bit too hard). But when I look at my wonderful gifts today, I can only say, it was worth it!

    Liked by 3 people

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  20. Debbie Harris
    Aug 18, 2019 @ 11:44:56

    Oh those days Ritu! Wishing you well and all I can say is that it will pass…one day 🙂 xx

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply

  21. Rachael Stray | https://rachaelstray.com/
    Aug 18, 2019 @ 11:16:10

    Oh dear I will have all this to come! I was a moody so and so when I was a teen – not 11 though. It’s all the hormones.

    Liked by 3 people

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  22. IreneDesign2011
    Aug 18, 2019 @ 08:43:46

    It will change, Ritu and in the meanwhile you just need to be patient.
    The teenage time begin more early now, than ever. Scientists are talking about, it has to do with our intake of not so natural food as earlier times, where we could grow more for ourselves.
    Some girls are more in the violence of their hormones and others not so much.
    You seem to have the needed patience and understanding.

    Liked by 3 people

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    • Ritu
      Aug 18, 2019 @ 10:25:43

      I’m trying very hard to stay patient, though it’s not easy. Hoping the earlier onset will mean levelling out sooner too…
      I did read that the level of hormones in drinking water was also a factor… Due to the amount of oral contraceptives taken, that find themselves in the water system…

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  23. Tony "T-Bird" Burgess
    Aug 18, 2019 @ 08:29:03

    Oh my the situation you have. Hopefully this will pass quickly.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  24. robertawrites235681907
    Aug 18, 2019 @ 07:36:50

    Maybe two boys aren’t such a bad thing after all, Ritu [giggle]. Mine are both more like your son and I don’t really have issues with them. Girls are different and are more moody at this age. It will change. For me I improved at about 13/14 yrs old. The hormones start to calm down again then.

    Liked by 2 people

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    • Ritu
      Aug 18, 2019 @ 10:27:43

      Girls are so different!
      She want all the stuff now too… Eyebrow threading, hair removal etc… And it’s because of what they are exposed to on tv and social media regularly. False perfection…
      I didn’t know about half of this stuff then!

      Like

      Reply

  25. Maggie
    Aug 18, 2019 @ 07:09:45

    Oh, you will be wise again. It may take a few heartaches and a couple of ‘I should have listened’ moments but the tides will turn again. My worst years were the late teens and college years. But in the shift, there is a return to seeking advice and trust and ‘I love you’ moments. Hang in there.

    Liked by 2 people

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