Oooh! I love a challenge, and The lovely Ronovan, of Ronovan Writes, has created a new challenge for us aspiring writers.
He is posting some words as prompts for a piece of fiction, any length, to be submitted/posted by Wednesday night. Check it out here!
The prompt words…
Captain
Wave
Candle
Blanket
Chocolate
Earring
Here is my effort… Sorry Ron, it was a little longer than I anticipated, and possibly a little jumbled, but it was just what came out! I read it to my 10 year old son, and he thought it was great, so if no one else likes it, at least I got one bit of praise!
That sinking feeling
She shivered as she sat there, her lips almost blue with the cold. Michael gently wrapped a blanket around her shoulders.
“Are you ok Jade?” There was a reassuringly worried look in his chocolate brown eyes.
Jade locked eyes with him, and held his stare for a moment, feeling herself melt, before realising what she was doing, and looked down.
“Yes thanks, I’m alright now.”
——
He reddened slightly, gave her shoulder a quick squeeze, and moved away to the side of the life boat, looking out at the sea. The waves were pretty calm now, but they had suddenly whipped up into a frenzy earlier on and, God knows what the girl had been doing so close to the side of the boat, but Jade had fallen overboard.
——
The moment she had set eyes on him, she was transfixed. There was just something about those eyes…
Jade and her family had boarded the cruise ship, for their annual holiday, and she had been ready for another boring week on a boat, being made to join in with various activities, and dressing up for dinners that she hardly ever ate. Then, there he was, welcoming the passengers on board to his ship. He was shaking hands with everyone, and as he took hers and shook it, Jade was transfixed. Those deep brown eyes, full of smiles, and… that ‘something’… Maybe this week would be ok after all!
The first day, she joined in with the planned activities with her family, hoping to catch a glimpse of him again, but he was elusive. Until she noticed him, that evening on the main table at dinner time, in his white uniform. She ate little that night, instead, feasting her eyes on his smile. Then on the second night mum had told her they were being invited to the Captain’s table for dinner that night, and that she was to make sure she made a proper effort, when getting ready.
Jade sat at her dressing table, and looked at herself in the mirror. Not bad. A little more lip gloss and the look would be perfect. She picked up her earrings and put them on, and gave herself a final once over, before heading to her parents room.
There he was, standing there, shaking hands with the chosen ones for the evening. Soon her hand would be in his too! When the time came, she looked down shyly, muttered “Good evening”, then sat down. She spent the most of the mealtime watching him surreptitiously, and whenever the conversation was directed at her, she shied away. The candles flickering away on the tables just served to create more of a romantic atmosphere, and soon it was too much for her to bear. Jade excused herself and went for a walk on the deck.
It had seemed like a good idea at the time. Jade didn’t realise what this vast expanse of water was capable of, but standing on the deck of the cruise ship reminded her of that film, Titanic, and before she knew it, she was standing on the railings, arms outstretched, imitating that famous scene… ok, so she hadn’t been in the right place on the boat, and she didn’t have a ‘Jack’ there, but she had someone in mind as she imagined… she could almost feel him, Captain Michael Brown, standing behind her, his arms matching hers, feeling the air blowing against both their faces…
Then all of a sudden, the sea got really choppy, the sky looked thundery, and the boat started to rock quite violently. Before she could do anything, a huge wave licked the boat, reaching over the railings, drenching the deck, and it took Jade with it.
—–
Michael had come out of the dining room, quite by chance. Well, not really by chance. He had felt the boat moving ominously, and, as Captain, he felt it his duty to just go and check what was happening out there. The sea looked dark and dangerous. He knew it would be a rough night. As he glanced around, his eyes were drawn to a figure standing at the side of the deck. A girl, typical! Doing that Titanic thing. God, had there been any voyage so far that he remembered, where someone didn’t do that? Well, usually it was a couple, and they thought it was the most romantic thing ever, but this was a person on their own! Wait, that was the girl sat at his table earlier this evening, with the Thomas family. What was her name? Oh yes, Jade.
He made his way down to the deck where she was, aiming to get to her, to let her know the dangers but as he got closer he witnessed the sea take matters into its own hands. A huge wave rose and engulfed the girl, and as the ship listed to one side, the water drained off the deck, and horrified, he realised that his passenger was no longer on the deck.
Rushing to the railings he looked overboard, but could see nothing. “Man overboard!” he shouted, and pressed the alarm bells. Within seconds there were more officials around and the lifeboat was being lowered. Michael clambered on board the boat too and they started the lookout for their missing person. Strangely enough the choppy waters had calmed considerably, compared to the freak wave that had swept Jade off the deck.
It felt like an age, but it was in fact only 5 minutes before they saw a figure bobbing. Getting closer, they could hear the screams for help. A ring was thrown overboard, and soon Jade was being pulled up on to the life boat.
——
“Oh my God! How embarrassing!” Jade thought to herself, as she was escorted to her room. Her parents were fussing over her, and though she was shaken, she was actually ok, luckily. There was no injuries, just bruised pride… The Captain would never look at her the way she wanted to now!
——
“So, Captain Michael. How many passengers did you have swooning after you this trip?” Jules loved to tease his husband when he came back from these cruises. He knew how good looking Michael was, chocolate box hero-style looks, but Michael really didn’t have a clue! And there was always a gaggle of young girls, and a fair few older women too, who aimed to fulfil their holiday romance quota with the ship’s dashing Captain, not knowing that he was far from interested in them… they weren’t male!
Nov 20, 2015 @ 20:41:14
Wow! Love the twist in the end…You make me want to git it a try. A good write.:)
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Nov 20, 2015 @ 20:56:15
Thank you! The new one is released today, maybe you could give it a try!
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Nov 20, 2015 @ 22:50:55
I think I will:)
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Nov 20, 2015 @ 23:47:54
🙂
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Nov 15, 2015 @ 16:27:29
Wow Sis this is amazingly written. ☺
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Nov 15, 2015 @ 17:47:53
Thanks Bro! 😊 I wasn’t sure but it just kept on coming!!
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Nov 15, 2015 @ 20:50:21
That’s when it’s the best☺
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Nov 15, 2015 @ 21:56:50
🙂
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Nov 15, 2015 @ 11:57:39
Really nicely done the two different persepectives. I think I like Jules the best! Though his ambiguous sexuality is an intriguing ending!
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Nov 15, 2015 @ 12:34:20
I waffle…. And I started this with not a lot in mind… It changed in my head many times, and even the ending! Jules was Julie at first, then I had to give it that little twist!
I’m glad you liked it, thank you!
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Nov 15, 2015 @ 12:45:04
It worked really well
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Nov 15, 2015 @ 13:08:39
Thank you, means a lot, coming from you! 😊
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Nov 15, 2015 @ 00:28:54
Oh my…. you already had me dreaming…. always the same with those attractive men… married or gay…. lol Such a fantastic story, sis!!!!
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Nov 15, 2015 @ 09:19:42
Lol! Thanks sis! Glad you enjoyed it!!! 😘😊
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Nov 15, 2015 @ 11:31:04
Haha… I did!!! Always, sis!!! 😃
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Nov 15, 2015 @ 11:45:53
😘😘😘
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Nov 15, 2015 @ 12:05:52
😘😘😘
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