Chai And A Chat #200 #ChaiAndAChat

22 Aug 2022 6 Comments

by Ritu in Chai and a Chat Tags: , , , , ,

Hi there, Peeps! It’s the 200th episode of our Chai and A Chat sessions, can you believe it? And look at me, late again! But, I have a good excuse. We were at a family wedding all weekend, and I have only been home for a short while, so I am catching up, now!

I have a cup of soothing Indian chai… hoe you’ve got a drink, too!

  • If we were having chai, I’d tell you That this week has flown by, as usual. After finishing my first draft, I spent a while finding some alpha readers for book 2. This time, the issues I write about are more specific, so I wanted sensitive readers to give me their feedback. 1 out of the three has started reading, and can I just say, I am so grateful to him for what he has come back to me with, so far! The last thing I want to do is fall into stereotypes or not deal with the issues at hand with no sensitivity! And I printed the manuscript off so I can have my own first proper readthrough!
@ritubhathalauthor

Printing that first draft for my read through! 😬 #fyp #fypツ #author #writer #browntok #desi #chickpeacurrylit #rishrstseries #book2 #britishindian

♬ Nigo Lost and found freestyle – Tayla
  • If we were having chai, I’d have to say that I am still getting some lovely feedback from readers for Marriage Unarranged, and I am touched by the words of these fantastic people!
  • If we were having chai, I’d say that Lil Princess has been asking to go for walks with me so we have been taking short strolls around the neighbourhood. The lack of rain was evident, with parched fields, but there was one field with a few random sunflowers standing tall. They felt like a beacon of hope.
  • If we were having chai, I would share with you that we attended a wedding. Stick with me, here, my brother-in-law’s wife’s sister was getting married. We haven’t attended a wedding for around 4 years, and for my in-laws that was the first proper outing they have had since before lockdown, and Mum’s knee ops. I was excited, but actually worried because I have put on so much weight, and I didn’t have the time to get new outfits. I was more concerned with Lil Princess having some lovely things to wear! So the sucky in pants came out, and I had to have one outfit adjusted, but well, I got there! We had a couple of nights out, too, so we didn’t have to do too many, long-distance drives late at night. It was a beautiful weekend and everyone was able to celebrate, let their hair down, eat, drink and be merry! Pops and Mum even attended the reception, too!
  • If we were having chai, I’d tell you that we had a cricket-less week, apart from training, due to the wedding. Lil Man wasn’t that impressed, but he has rediscovered his love of Bhangra music, and he danced all through the party and reception! When we got home, he even took out his old dhol drum and had a play about on it. The first time in over 2 years! This wedding was good for everyone for so many different reasons!
  • If we were having chai, I would end, as always, with Sonu Singh. He was alone for a couple of nights, but not in a row. We have an automatic feeder, with a camera and microphone, so we could speak to him, and left him with lights and plenty of water. As usual, he wasn’t impressed, and he tried to get into our bags, but ended up plumping for the tissue box, in the end. We missed him so much, bless him!
Bitmoji Image

This week is my last week off before the school year starts again. I have no major plans, other than to mentally prepare myself, and a trip to Bluewater with Lil Princess one day!

And while you’re here, did you sign up for my mailing list? I am in the middle of writing an exclusive Chickpea Curry Lit story for my subscribers, and there will be news, tips and even recipes! You know you want to join… go on! Click the pic below to sign up!

Spidey’s Serene Sunday – Part 389 – Wedding Fun!

21 Aug 2022 26 Comments

by Ritu in Spidey's Serene Sundays, Thoughts Opinions & Memories Tags: , , , , , , ,

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“I always cry at weddings. They’re beautiful and I’m always moved.”

Jennifer Westfeldt

Thank you, Spidey, for a lovely quote!

We attended a wedding, yesterday, after quite a few years, what with lockdown, covid, etc.

I love a good wedding.

We used to attend them all the time when I was growing up, but less so, since I got married, as my Hubby Dearest’s family is quite small in comparison to mine, and also because we are further away from my family, now so attending all the weddings is not feasible.

Anyway, back to yesterday.

As I watched sever parts of the marriage ceremony, I felt a different emotional pull at certain points. The time when, in our Sikh ceremony, the bride’s father stands up and takes one end of the palla, or scarf that is draped around the groom’s neck and hands it to his daughter, signifying that you are now going to be walking together, through life with this guy, and you won’t be my little girl anymore.

I had tears in my eyes, not because I was thinking of myself, but it hit me that one day Lil Princess will be in that position…

This time, I really listened to the granthi, the priest, as he recited from the Guru Granth Sahib at the time of the ceremony and the words of the inevitable uncle-ji who stands up and gives a sikhya (speech or set of lessons about marriage) and I thought how his message hadn’t changed in all the years I’ve been attending marriages, but equally, I also dug deeper into the ‘advice’ and how it wasn’t always promoting the equality that Sikhism is based on.

The bride was addressed and was advised to compromise on things that weren’t to her liking because that’s the best way.

The groom was told to be a Man, providing for his family.

(Simple contraction of a 15-minute long speech!)

It made me wonder what the younger generation would think as they listened (because the guy spoke in both Punjabi and English).

There are more youngsters who might not look outwardly Sikh or fully baptised, but many are more versed in the ins and outs of our teachings, thanks to some fantastic people out there who you can follow on Social Media.

And some of those words, said in respect and blessing, could be looked upon as interpreting the words of our Gurus in their own way, and putting the bride at home and the groom to work, rather than the equality that our religion actually speaks of.

It shouldn’t all fall on the groom’s shoulders to provide.

Neither should the compromise be just the bride’s sacrifice.

I can hear these words being said in a different way, to me on my own wedding day, and I never really thought about the implications. Today, as a much more grown-up woman, it made me pause, and think, “What advice are we giving our young couples? is it the right thing to say?”

Marriage is a compromise. 100%, but the compromise should come from both parties. And you can work, together, as a couple, to fulfil your life dreams.

I am going to stop rambling because I have to go and get ready for the wedding reception, now!

But, before I leave, how have your thoughts on marriage changed over the years?

namaste

Wishing you a wonderfully peaceful Sunday, Peeps!

#SoCS Aug. 20, 2022 – Key

20 Aug 2022 18 Comments

by Ritu in #SoCS Tags: , , , , , ,

Linda’s SoCS prompt.

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “key.” Use it as a noun, a verb, or use it metaphorically. Have fun!

When using a hotel keycard, it is key to know which action you need to open your door.

Gone are the days of simple metal keys inserted into locks, then turned to enter your room.

A few years back your keycard needed to be inserted too, into a little slot. A light came on telling you that the lock had been deactivated, then you could step in, but not forgetting to pop your keycard into the dock by the door, to get the lights and electrical amenities working.

Then there were ones you swiped, rather like a debit card wipe.

Yesterday we were at a hotel, and they have upped the game once more… you just tap the keycard on a panel on the room door and it lights up, ready to let you in!

Of course, it is easier to misplace those cards…

But then again, proper keys go missing, too, don’t they?

We had a case when not one set, not two, but three sets of car keys complete with house keys went missing…

We began to think a poltergeist had taken up residence in the house, but then we found said poltergeist, in the form of a giggling 2-year-old Lil Man, who had found the stash of keys left on the dining table, reached up, took one and dropped them behind the radiator! It was such fun, he felt around and took any others he could find, and did the same!

And they all got stuck behind the radiator panel, so we spent an evening trying to fish them out with bent hangers and all sorts!

Reminds me of a time my mum recalls, hearing tiny me giggle randomly one day, and following the noise to find me in front of our small fridge in the kitchen, door open, with a puddle of broken eggs on the floor. I took one at a time from the egg shelf in the door and proceeded to break around half. adoze, because it was such fun to see and hear them break!

I will be 47 in two weeks, yet to this day, my mother has never kept her eggs in the fridge!

And, likewise, our keys are always hung up now, and never left on the table!

https://lindaghill.com/2022/08/19/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-aug-20-2022/

Throwback Thursday #52 – Transitions and Modifications

19 Aug 2022 12 Comments

by Ritu in Thoughts Opinions & Memories Tags: , , , ,

Having another go at Maggie and Laurens, Throwback Thursday challenge! This week it is Maggie at the helm!

This week’s prompt is: Transitions and Modifications

  1. Think about your first haircut. Were you the kid that cut your own hair? Did you go to a salon or did your parents cut your hair? Did your parents save a lock of your hair? As Sikhs, we aren’t supposed to cut our hair, appreciating and being grateful for what God gave us. However, we are not fully baptised in our family. When I was about 6, I had a real craving to get my hair cut, and so my mum took me to the hairdresser, and I had my first page boy cut! My dad cut my brother’s hair for the first time, and that was painful for him, as my father has always kept his hair and worn a turban, but felt the pressure to do it, so my brother didn’t get any bullying as he grew up in an area that was predominantly white. One silly story of me and my hair is that I wear convinced I had too small a forehead, so I took a bunch of hair from the front and snipped it clean off at the scalp, thinking no one would notice… Er, they did And, then I had a fountain of sprouting hair growing back, soon after!
  2. How about shaving? Fathers often teach their sons to shave. Most girls I know, decided for themselves when to shave their legs and their underarms. Some cultures do not shave at all. Again, line the above, we aren’t supposed to remove any body hair, however, the majority of us who aren’t fully baptised do. I think my mum got me an electric razor first, but I also experimented with hair removal cream, waxing, etc over the years. And eyebrows and upper lip threading!
  3. Did you alter your clothes? Cut jeans into cut-offs? Cut the sleeves off t-shirts? Wear graphic tees? Tie-dyes? Sew patches on your jeans? Not really. I was pretty simple growing up!
  4. Was there a time you remember challenging the authority in your household? Do you remember the first time you found your voice? I wouldn’t have dared as a child! But as I grew older I learned how to stand up for my thoughts and beliefs.
  5. What about piercings? Girls getting their ears pierced was a rite of passage for girls. Then boys started getting one ear pierced. As time passed, piercings became more mainstream and accepted. I had my ears pierced, just those one set for each ear, and they are still just like that. I was around 8, I think.
  6. Did you walk on the wild side? Smoking? Drinking? Did your parents know? Shhhh! Okay, so there were a few drinks, as I went to Uni, but nothing more…
  7. What about tattoos? Did you get a tattoo while still living at home? Did your parents approve? Nope. No tattoos, but I do think about it now!
  8. What about language? Was swearing allowed in your family?  Did you use the same language around your friends as you did at home with your family? Nope. No swearing was allowed but as I got older and learned more Punjabi naughty words, it became fun to sprinkle them into conversations with people who didn’t understand!
  9. Think back to high school. Girls, did you iron your hair? Did you colour your hair? (using Sun-in counts!) Guys, did you grow a beard or moustache? Did you grow your hair long? Feel free to share a photo of yourself back in the day. I have naturally curly hair but didn’t even realise it was curly until I was 16, because it used to be brushed out and plaited all the time, or left in a frizz ball! Straightening wasn’t a thing, for me until uni! And Sun in… er, yes, but not before uni!
  10. Many people think our authentic self is the person we were as young children. Are you still inherently the same person you were as a child or have you changed your personality and demeanor along the way? I think. I am the same, but I have just become more confident and able. to stand up for myself and my beliefs more. The benefits of getting older!

Okay, so three times in a row was my limit, here we are on Friday, again, but be glad… I am off to a wedding and squeezed this in before we leave!

https://fromcavewalls.wordpress.com/2022/08/18/throwback-thursday-52-transitions-and-modifications/

One-Liner Wednesday – Covid Spread

17 Aug 2022 44 Comments

by Ritu in #onelinerwednesday Tags: , , , ,

“First wedding to attend in 3 years… and I can’t fit into any of my clothes!”

Ritu Bhathal

For Linda’s #1LinerWeds

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