But I Smile Anyway...

Wave Of Light #infantloss

15 Oct 2019 55 Comments

by Ritu in Thoughts Opinions & Memories Tags: #waveoflight, Blog, Blog Post, Blogger, Blogging, Infant Loss

Not only tonight
Do I remember you, child
But every night
Ritu 2019

The moment I knew you were there, growing within, you gained a life, an identity, all of your own.

It matters not that you were with me mere weeks.

You were real.

You were mine.

And the moment I knew you were gone, a piece of me died.

I’ll always remember you, my two angels ♥️

Today I lit a candle at 7pm, joining thousands, to create a wave of light, remembering our beautiful babies that were, perhaps, too good for this world.

Chai And A Chat #54 #ChaiAndAChat

14 Oct 2019 36 Comments

by Ritu in Chai and a Chat, Thoughts Opinions & Memories Tags: #ChaiAndAChat, Blog, Blog Post, Blogger, Blogging, Catch Up

Happy Monday to you all! I hope your week treated you well. Here’s my update!

If we were sipping chai together I’d start by telling you I’m still tired. As Spidey helped me to tell you all, the exhaustion is pretty bad still, but I have made a doctor’s appointment. Here’s hoping he can help me work out why… Saturday saw me go up fir a little nap and surface three hours later!
If we were sipping chai together I’d let you know that school is going fine, for me, but there are changes afoot in school with staff ins and outs… always a bit of an upheaval for everyone. My extra special Beaut has been given one to one support so will be coming in for longer as of next week. Here’s hoping it helps!
If we were sipping chai together I’d say that on Thursday, the local paper had a supplement in it, entitled First Classes. Every year the local paper takes a photo of the Reception classes in all the surrounding schools, and it goes in the paper. Our pic was there. My with my first proper class! It was lovely to see! I’d post it, but I’m not sure of protocol, so better safe than sorry!
If we were sipping chai together I’d share this beautiful sunrise that I saw one morning. The colours were just magnificent!

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Sunrise #nofilter

A post shared by Ritu B (@ritubhathalwrites) on Oct 6, 2019 at 10:57pm PDT

If we were sipping chai together I’d let you know that I have been trying to build my collection of fiction craft books, thanks to recomendations from several great writerly friends of mine. As you know, if you read the post on my Author Blog, the publisher said no. Not a rude no, but more of a great idea, but it’s not for us kind of no. So I’m back to deciding what to do. First off, another round of finishing the editing tweaks as recommended by my beta readers, then the big decision… to Trad or Indie?

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More craft books… Gotta get my write on! #writer #writestagram #writerscommunity #writerscraft #writersofinstagram #craftbooks @diymfa #newsletterninja #selfeditingforfictionwriters

A post shared by Ritu B (@ritubhathalwrites) on Oct 9, 2019 at 10:42am PDT

If we were sipping chai together I’d mention that I have been rediscovering older poems of mine, and posting them on Facebook and Instagram. It’s great to read old words you have strung together!

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Our little nest, one time, was bare A mere shell, there was no one there Then you came, to illuminate This home you helped us to create We furnished it with memories Times we can recall with ease Each day you add another layer And I silently offer up a prayer Thank you Lord for giving me These branches of my family tree I know one day that you will fly And believe me, you will soar high You’ll leave this nest to build your own But I’ll not lament that you have flown For it’s no longer an empty shell It’s now a home in which we dwell And embedded in each and every space Is the image of your smiling face The sounds of laughter will always ring out Whether or not you are about This nest will always be your home No matter where you decide to roam. #poetry #poetsofinstagram #poetstagram #family #poeticwords #lifelessons #lifepoetry @rhythmicalmike another?

A post shared by Ritu B (@ritubhathalwrites) on Oct 12, 2019 at 1:15pm PDT

If we were sipping chai together I’d say that despite the tiredness, it was important to celebrate the birthday of one of my special Tootie Frootie ladies. We had a quiet night out, four of us, chilling, chatting and chomping!

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Happy birthday to my gorgeous #snapchatsister @gizimann hope you have a wonderful day 🥰

A post shared by Ritu B (@ritubhathalwrites) on Oct 9, 2019 at 10:44pm PDT

If we were sipping that chai together, and possibly reaching for cake or cookies I’d tell you that I don’t want to wish time away, but I can’t wait for the weekend! It means we have finished for this first term, and I get a week off. Much needed. First things first will be to try and get an earlier doctor’s appointment. and REST!
If we were sipping that chai together, and possibly reaching for cake or cookies I’d mention that it is Harvest Festival today at school. We have been practicing a short song with the children, and this will be the first time they have gone to a whole school assembly. Actually the first time they have been to ANY assembly! So fingers crossed, they actually sing!

Right, that’s me done Peeps! Let me how your week has been.

Spidey’s Serene Sunday – Part 241 – Exhausted

13 Oct 2019 49 Comments

by Ritu in Spidey's Serene Sundays, Thoughts Opinions & Memories Tags: Blog, Blog Post, Blogger, Blogging, Exhausted, Spiderman, Spidey, Spidey's Serene Sunday

On an exhausted field, only weeds grow
Henryk Sienkiewicz

Yeah, thanks, Spidey, for likening me to a field…

But, honestly, that is how I feel at the moment.

You all know that I have stepped back from posting regularly because I mentioned being rather tired. I felt that a little mental break would help.

I had submitted my manuscript to a publisher and used that six weeks of waiting to step back from that creativity too.

Unfortunatley, I can’t step away from motherhood, or my day job of being a teacher, but even there, I have tried not to stay later than I have to at school. Usually, I’m in from 7.45am, and I leave betweek 5-5.30pm.

As for home, I have skimped on wheat I can, ironing as and when I need to, keeping the hosue clean and tidy, but not pushing myself too much, and sleeping earlier.

But it hasn’t really made a huge amount of difference.

Take yesterday. I had a littel cat nap in the afternoon, except when I woke up, I realised I had slept for 3 hours! And I could have stayed asleep for longer.

Drained.

That is how I feel.

Adn I know I can’t give my best in this state.

I have called the doctor and made an appointment, but the earliest I could get was in NOVEMBER! I hope that I can ring in during the half term and see him earlier. Maybe it’s a vitamin deficiency, or something else.

Whatever it is, I need to get it sorted. I can’t exist like this.

I have a book to get out there. I have a class to teach. I have two children who need encouragement. I have a husband who needs his wife by his side. I have a family who want me to be the best me I can be. I have friends I don’t want to miss out on seeing…

So… tell me, what suggestions do you have for lessening this exhaustion?