Childhood – The Old Skool Way – How It’s Supposed To Be #Memories #Childhood

We all spend time moaning about our kids and their behaviour. It’s a parent’s prerogative, isn’t it?

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I have to look out for them…

Then we complain about how they never go out, and spend the whole time on phones and screens (devices we have given them…)

But we are too worried to send them out, like we used to go out. The world is a big, bad place, after all. Social Media and the internet tell us of all these awful things that happen out there. We wrap them up in a certain amount of cotton wool, because we all want to protect our pecious offspring.

A bit too much helicopter parenting, making sure you know exactly what your child is doing at all times, and with whom. Running yourself ragged to get them to all the places you have booked them into to keep them busy, getting frustrated at the cries of “I’m bored!” throughout the weekend and, oh, don’t talk to me about the longer holidays!

It is sad that many of us don’t have the confidence to send our kids out with a little slack on the leash we tend to keep them on.

I hold my hands up. I am guilty of this overprotectiveness.

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I NEED to know waht they are doing ALL the time…

But I am also aware of the fact that they have to grow up some time, and they do need to assert their independence. They are going to need to know how to deal with the world, after all.

I’ve hesitantly allowed Lil Man to go to the park with his friends, not long after an assault happened there, (dropping him off, and making sure he was with the right mates, before leaving), I have given Lil Princess the opportunity to walk home alone now, as she has to get ready for Secondary School next year. I’ve left them alone for a short while, as I do grocery shopping. They’ve walked to the shops alone.

Listing these things makes me wonder why I feel they are petty things that all kids should be doing anyway, but it has been hard letting go, believe me. And even if I feel they are ready, and capable of dealing with things, their dad is even more over protective of his children… so I do feel for them sometimes, battling against both of us, just so they can be kids… and experience everything we did.

However, today, we managed to overcome a big step.

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I let them go!

The kids.

Out.

All afternoon.

On their bikes!

Ordinary, isn’t it? Something I remember my brother doing every day in the holidays. Disappearing after breakfast on his bike with his little gang of friends, appearing to eat lunch then disappearing again. If I had been the active, outdoory type, I’d have been allowed to do the same, but I preferred my book time, or a walk to the local shops, running errands for my mym (and buying teen magazines or cheap makeup from the chemist!)

Anyway, today the kids enjoyed a proper Old Skool kids afternoon, and they loved it!

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I let them be kids!

We live in a cul de sac, and there are a few other children, but no one we knew. Then, a few months ago a new family moved in and they have a boy a similar age to Lil Man, and two girls, younger than Lil Princess. We fed them samosas on Diwali as we all stood out in the street at night, watching the Gurdwara fireworks display, and the bonding started.

The boy has come round a few times, playing Playstation or football in our garden, and Lil Man has been over to his house too.

As the days are better and evenings longer, we get back from school and they have been out, on bikes and scooters, in the safety of our road, and my two have joined them for short whiles. But their bikes were at the in-laws.

Today, we got back from Lil Man’s match, after picking their bikes up, and once they had eaten lunch, they went out… at 2pm… and I didn’t see them until nearly 6pm!

That was a biggie for me. But I read a little and snoozed on the sofa, knowing they were only outside.

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Relaxed mum…

When they got back, they were relaxed and happy, having made even more friends, as children from other familes that live on the road joined them too, and they rode bikes, played football, ran races, played games and chatted. All normal kids stuff, that didn’t involve screens at all!

They have now got a little gang of friends together that live here, who can safely get together, of different ages, and different backgrounds too (English, Indian, Polish, Arabic, African) and just one afternoon out together has made the atmosphere in our house totally different.

No arguing and angsty behaviour, just happy children who have exhaustend themselves in the most natural, child-like way.

There’s a lot to be said for fresh air, and just playing.

Here’s to many more afternoons where finally, my kids can be kids, the way I remember childhood.

What do you remember about your childhood that seems to be missing in our kids lives nowadays?

47 Years #lifegoals

Today, my parents are celebrating 47 years of marriage.

A goal I aspire to as well.

They are a couple who have shown us how love, understanding, patience and a sprinkle of madness, is the best recipe for marital success.

Wishing them a wonderful day and hope their union may last many more years.

Happy Anniversary Pops and Mum ❤️

Spidey’s Serene Sunday – Part 196 – Anniversary Special

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“A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity. The order varies for any given year.”  –  Paul Sweeney

Thank you, Spidey for this.

Today marks our 17th wedding anniversary.

There have been ups and downs, sadnesses and joys, kids and pets, houses and cars, and lots and lots of family stuff!

He asked me what I wanted for my gift… I genuinely want nothing. I have all I want. Him, our kids, our kitty, our family.

I can say, hand on heart, that there is no one else in this world who I would want to have spent over half my life with so far (20+ years dating!)

I love that man that is my Hubby Dearest, more than I can express in words, and I count myself as a blessed one to have him in my life.

Happy Anniversary to my soulmate ❤

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And a little of 18th November trivia, for you all too! There are a good few other special days celebrated on this same date…

  • Mickey Mouse’s birthday – he’s 90 this year!
  • Princess day – maybe I’ll get treated like one (unlikely, as I have a child who is currently being sick everywhere – more Cinderella than Princess!)
  • Apple Cider Day – Cheers!
  • Occult Day – ooer!

And a good few more!

And traditional wedding anniversary gifts for the 17th milestone?

Wine and Spirits! 

So… tell me, what would be your ideal anniversary gift? 😘

Have a peaceful Sunday Peeps ❤ And enjoy your week!

The Wedding Day

So, I have led you, briefly, towards the main event.

If you want to check out the wedding build up, click here.

This time 17 years ago, one of the biggest days of my life played out. The day I finally became Mrs Bhathal!

All dolled up and ready to meet my Prince! This was our last family photo as a foursome. Soon another would join us ❤

We had a magical ceremony,  where we took the four laavan, or rounds, of the Guru Granth Sahib, making our vows to each other,, followed by a beautiful reception that whizzed by so fast…

It wasn’t long before the tearful goodbyes… I may have been gaining a new family, but I had to say farewell to my own…

He’s not one for sharing photos of himself, so I will post one from our first dance, one that I love.

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A truly wonderful day that I will cherish forever ❤

Happy Anniversary to my soulmate ❤

Those Pre-Wedding Traditions

 

I’ve been busy today, mopping up sick, and dealing with a pain-ridden teen, experiencing his first day with braces… Put paid to our plans for the weekend.

You see tomorrow is our anniversary.

However, it’s given me time to reminisce.

If you aren’t aware, Indian weddings are big affairs lasting a good week or so.

My Sikh wedding was no different, and in addition to the length of the build-up, there were at least forty guests who had come from overseas for the occasion too!

I thought it would be an idea to share the build-up with you too, so you can learn a bit about our wedding traditions, (in addition to a silly one my family have too!)

On the Friday before I got married, I had my henna applied by my best friend’s sister.

Then this is the madcap part. We had a fancy dress night!

Usually, I am in the thick of it, but as I had hands adorned with wet, sticky henna I watched from the sidelines as Batman, the cast of Cinderella, masaai warriors, giant babies, amongst others, joined the fun!

And my Pops, not wanting to be left behind, joined my Red Indian Brother as a Punjabi Pirate!

It was a really fun night, full of food, dance and music!

The next day, Saturday, was a day where there were more traditional events.

The Maiyaan was in the morning. This is the haldi, or turmeric ceremony, where the bride (and groom at his place) are blessed and wiped with this sticky goo made from turmeric, supposedly to brighten skin and make you look stunning on your special day!

Oh, and you get fed some sweet rice, which you then go on to feed to at least five other single girls/boys wishing them a speedy marital union too!

The evening was the Chura ceremony, where the bridal bangles are placed on the bride’s arms by the maternal uncles. These are usually worn for an amount of time specified by your in laws, to signify you are a new bride in the family. Some wear them for five weeks, some as long as a whole year!

The next step was the Jago, which was traditionally a ceremony to get everyone in the mood for the wedding. Jago means wake up!

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After “waking everyone up” we had a lot of dancing, more food and even some Bollywood karaoke! My family do love a sing-a-long!

Then it was time for bed.

An extremely early start for me was looming… 5am… and an extremely special day ❤

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