Friday is the day Ronovan allows us to get busy with a flash fiction prompt. There were no word limits to the previous prompts, but, as Ronovan says this week, the true meaning of flash fiction is to keep it succinct. Short and sweet. Trim the fat.
That is always hard for me. I talk too much, hence I also write too much too!
Check out his prompt post here. Aside from actually making sure we keep to a limit of 500 words, or under, he suggested thinking of an adult situation but from a child’s perspective.
Now for my attempt this week. Any opinions are welcome!
It’s Not Happening
When will it stop?
It doesn’t matter how far under the covers I go, I can still hear them. They think I’m asleep. They think I’m too young to understand.
But I’m not so young that I can’t work things out for myself.
It happens all the time.
The shouting. The slamming of doors. Then the next morning, the frosty glances at each other, but these huge smiles, and eyes brimming with love, looking at us.
They are fighting all the time nowadays, mum and dad. But not in front of us. My younger brother, he really is too little. He hasn’t a clue. But I am not stupid…
This is what happens before…
I don’t want to say it.
But my friend at school, he had parents who fought all the time, and they, well, they aren’t together anymore. He says he’s happy, he gets two of everything nowadays, two birthdays, two Christmas Days, and whenever they are having more disagreements, he gets one off presents too, it’s like they are buying him.
The thing is, when I look at him, really look at him, there is way too much sadness in his 11 year old eyes. I’ve seen him, looking at other friends of ours, with their parents at school functions, and he might think he can hide it, but there is that sense of longing for peace, and happiness in his own parent’s life.
Back to now.
Is this what is happening here? Why are they fighting so much? Are we doing something wrong? Is it me? I didn’t mean to get that detention the other day, but I overslept in the morning, after being awake, listening to them argue, and because I was late, the teacher just slapped me with that yellow note… One hour detention.
Mum was livid when I got home, she didn’t know why I was late, and then she told dad, and later that night, they were at it again…
Or was it when I asked for the new X-Box? I didn’t mean to get stroppy, but when I stomped off, because Dad said no, the murmuring started again. I knew they would be fighting before long.
Maybe I’ll get my homework done faster, do all my reading, before mum says. I’ll tell my brother to tidy up with me, and we can even make them breakfast, or do the hoover.
That’ll show them we love them, and that we aren’t bad. I’ll even say sorry.
As long as it stops the shouting… the fighting… the possibility that….
Thank you for reading!
wafflemethis
Dec 10, 2015 @ 05:28:44
Brilliant sis☺
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Ritu
Dec 10, 2015 @ 07:41:22
Thank you bro! 😊
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mbarkersimpson
Dec 09, 2015 @ 00:57:31
Beautifully told, I could hear the echo of fear in the child’s voice and it went straight to the heart.
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Ritu
Dec 09, 2015 @ 07:38:06
Thank you Melissa 😊
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mbarkersimpson
Dec 09, 2015 @ 09:29:00
My pleasure 🙂
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Ritu
Dec 09, 2015 @ 12:54:42
😊
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Janni Styles
Dec 08, 2015 @ 13:50:01
Love the world through the “child’s eyes.” I think you did a great job and you shouldn’t be so hard on yourself. It takes a lot to keep me reading and your fiction piece succeeded! 🙂
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Ritu
Dec 08, 2015 @ 18:42:33
Thank you so much Janni ☺
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Ronovan
Dec 07, 2015 @ 20:57:56
I think your fans have said it all. 🙂
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Ritu
Dec 07, 2015 @ 21:02:01
Thanks Ronovan! ☺
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edwinasepisodes
Dec 06, 2015 @ 00:58:27
That was brilliant Ritu. I can picture the poor child worrying sick over what he thinks he has done wrong to make his parents argue, Sad and shocking.
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Ritu
Dec 06, 2015 @ 08:56:04
Thank you sis 😊
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Erika Kind
Dec 05, 2015 @ 10:35:15
Wow, Ritu! That went deep. We adults know that whatever occurs, occurs from their problems with each other….. but the kids see it in a different relation. It is so important for partents who part that they make sure that the kids know it has nothing to do with them. Not easy because that believe settles early! You wrote that amazingly soulful, Sis!
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Ritu
Dec 05, 2015 @ 12:20:34
Thanks sis. It hit a nerve as my lil man is at this age when he hears things, and is starting to make all sorts of assumptions… And it’s up to us, as adults, to qwell his fears… ☺
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Erika Kind
Dec 05, 2015 @ 16:16:45
It is great that he speaks about it and that he has parents who are so attentive! We all are only human and of course also parents may be mad! But as you say we have to make sure they don’t get it the wrong way.
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Ritu
Dec 05, 2015 @ 17:01:17
I have seen it happen sis, and with myblil.man, he sees things on the news, hears things, and puts 2 and 2 together, making 654… So we have to be gently clear with him 😊
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Erika Kind
Dec 05, 2015 @ 17:13:46
My sensitive, sis! 😘😘
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Ritu
Dec 05, 2015 @ 17:24:24
😘
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wwwpalfitness
Dec 05, 2015 @ 04:16:03
have nominated you for a rare award https://wwwpalfitness.wordpress.com/2015/12/04/yes-another-old-liebster/
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PrairieChat
Dec 05, 2015 @ 02:06:11
You and Kat make me want to go under my covers again. Great writing though if anyone needs me, I’ll be in my room hiding in the closet!
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Ritu
Dec 05, 2015 @ 08:51:16
Lol! Thanks, and don’t be silly! Your writing is amazing! You got the emotions just right! Like I said, I knew it was a child’s thinking straight away!!!
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Ronovan
Dec 07, 2015 @ 21:00:26
After reading Clarence’s comments regarding Kat’s story, I think he means you hit some emotional buttons in him in such a clear and precise way that he feels a need to step back and regroup his emotions. Conflict gets to him. He connected with your story on that emotional level, sympathized.
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Ritu
Dec 07, 2015 @ 21:03:36
Silly me… See that’s me not thinking outsida the box!! The comments make sense in a different way now ☺
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Ronovan
Dec 07, 2015 @ 21:06:06
🙂 Hope you don’t mind my commenting on this particular conversation. Being that it’s part of the challenge I sort of felt like I could step in as long as I wasn’t being rude. And he was paying you a bigger compliment than you at first thought. I wanted you to know that.
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Ritu
Dec 07, 2015 @ 21:53:14
No, Ron, never offence taken… in fact I thank you for bringing that to my attention! ☺
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blackcherriess
Dec 05, 2015 @ 00:47:05
heartbreaking :S sometimes more presents aren’t everything
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Ritu
Dec 05, 2015 @ 00:49:47
One of my favourite sayings, it’s not your presents that matter, it’s your presence that counts…
Thank you for your comment 🙂
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blackcherriess
Dec 07, 2015 @ 11:33:15
so true! this is a beautiful saying!
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Ritu
Dec 07, 2015 @ 13:10:51
💕
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Kat Myrman
Dec 05, 2015 @ 00:45:19
Wow…Ritu. You are so right about the similarities of our stories. It’s like a timeline. Mine covers the affects on a younger child and yours on a school aged child. It is a progression isn’t it. The younger children just want to feel safe and school age children, thinking they’re at fault somehow…trying to be good or better to make it stop. And I can tell you…teenagers just plan their escape…looking for ways to stay away and eventually move out. I spent many hours in my closet. Good story!
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Ritu
Dec 05, 2015 @ 00:48:59
Thank you for your feedback Kat!
I sometimes wonder what my children think if we argue… we are by no means in a bad relationship, in fact our love is very strong, but sometimes, we disagree, and even though we know it is nothing drastic, you never know what a child may be thinking…
You’re right, it depends so much on the age of as child with regards to the way they perceive any situation!
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