But I Smile Anyway…

Every day, by a quarter to nine,
I usually need to pee,
And every day, after locking the door,
I sit and think, “Why me?”
Because every day, like clockwork, you know,
Somebody pays a visit,
And everyday, the stink remains,
And makes everyone wonder, “Who did it?!”
I should know better, you probably think,
Since it happens every day.
But it’s convenience, you know, much easier.
This loo’s just on my way!
Some days I’m late, there’s barely a hint
Of the stench that did remain.
But thankful I am, at least they’re polite,
Well, enough to pull the chain!
But if I’m early, heaven forbid!
I’ve come to expect the norm.
A smelly loo, no sign of the spray,
And a seat that’s still sometimes warm!
They haven’t been caught yet,
Their timing’s quite super,
It’s still a such a mystery…
Who is the Phantom Pooper?!