Sobering Spirits #FlashFiction

A little silly story from me!

Sobering Spirits!

Now, this is a situation I’ve never been in, before.

I’ve worked at plenty of conferences, in my time: A bunch of stuffy business-people, meant to be listening to the pearls of wisdom of the overpaid speakers, instead, talking over one another, filled with self-importance.

Then their evening ‘dos’.

The cheap alcohol flows and minimal food means that we are left trying to empty the venue of extremely drunk folk more often than not.

I’m used to it now. To be honest, it’s ruined my enjoyment of a good drink.

Tonight, however, we had a unique gathering of individuals. I can’t really call them people. More, erm, ‘beings’.

You see today we had the first-ever Spirit Spooktacular event; there were ghoulish ‘spookers’, spectres, phantoms – basically, I was in a room full of ghosts.

It was impossible at the door.

They have no idea about queueing.

No, I lie. Some did, but there were the ones who simply floated through the queue and went in. One or two floated through the walls straight into the hall!

And there was absolutely no point in us having a seating structure for them either. They hovered, or suspended themselves wherever they saw fit, to listen to whichever spook was spooking!

It was the evening event though, that really got me.

What a bunch of lightweights.

The thing is, spirits are not designed to ingest spirits. Or any alcohol.

I know how to get most drunken humans to sober up; by giving them a bit of food, water, fresh air, and on occasion, I have been known to pour said water over certain stubborn heads (but don’t tell my boss!) – it works.

But not for sobering spirits up.

For a start, they don’t eat. I was surprised they drank, to be honest.

And the thing with being a ghost, you don’t have a body, so it only took a couple of sips for their vapours to become intoxicated.

I can reach a drunk person, laying on the floor, or sat, propped up on a chair. But what do you do with the spirits who are drunkenly floating up against the ceiling?

We needed to clear the hall and set up for the next day’s event.  I’m not sure whether the estate agents would appreciate ghostly residue during their conference – though maybe they wouldn’t mind. After all, some had to sell haunted houses…

Back to now, though.

Anyone? Got experience with sobering spirits?


33 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Jennie
    Feb 20, 2021 @ 02:56:32

    Well done, Ritu.

    Liked by 1 person


  2. willowdot21
    Feb 19, 2021 @ 12:11:27

    Lol , sorry no sis , but that was fun 💜

    Liked by 2 people


  3. pameladbeverly
    Feb 18, 2021 @ 21:30:01

    No but I wish the ones that I hear walking or occasionally smoking (I don’t smoke) in my house would kick in some coins for the mortgage.

    Liked by 1 person


  4. Erika
    Feb 18, 2021 @ 20:14:59

    Awesome story, sis! No, unfortunately, I have not the slightest experience. But since they cannot catch the virus they always overdo it!

    Liked by 2 people


  5. John W. Howell
    Feb 18, 2021 @ 17:32:06

    Clever story, Ritu. I have found donut holes and evaporated milk helps.

    Liked by 1 person


  6. Keith
    Feb 18, 2021 @ 13:26:31

    Ritu, well summarized. I have been to way too many conferences and you define them well. The choice that is made at the end of the dinner segment, where drinks flowed is:

    1) do i go back to my room
    2) do I venture to the bar with others

    The smartest choice is #1, but peer pressure and the fear of missing out are tremendous pulls. I have never regretted choice #1, but choice #2 has an ugly way of reminding you the next day that it was less wise. Keith

    Liked by 2 people


  7. trentpmcd
    Feb 18, 2021 @ 12:51:47

    Who you gonna call? Sorry, wrong story… I was going to say “fan”, but see someone beat me tot the idea with bellows. Maybe make a loud announcement that the upcoming conference is a bunch of exorcism priests. I’m sure none of the ghosts will want to call your bluff…

    Liked by 2 people


  8. Annette Rochelle Aben
    Feb 18, 2021 @ 12:23:17

    been around my share

    Liked by 2 people


  9. pensitivity101
    Feb 18, 2021 @ 12:10:17

    Vacuum cleaner?

    Liked by 3 people


  10. TanGental
    Feb 18, 2021 @ 08:41:40

    You need bellows to blow them away…

    Liked by 3 people


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