This really rang true when I read it.
There was a time when it really mattered to me, what everyone thought of me. I needed to be the good girl, the respectable girl, so I would do everything that was expected, within the family. ( and I still do..)
I would need to be thought of as fun so I acted like the clown at school. Heck with the hair and glasses I had then I was never going to be cool, so funny was good!
I felt the need to be liked and admired at university, so I was there, doing all the cool stuff, dressing up, accentuating the swan-ness that had occurred, after I blossomed I guess ( no more ugly duckling!)
Then I got married, and the pressures to fit certain ideals were still there, from being the good daughter in law, to a perfect wife and fantastic mother.
You know what, I fitted all those ideals but as I got older, I tweaked them… I realised I don’t have to try so hard, I’m pretty ok the way I am! At universily, after a few months, I couldn’t be bothered to doll up, just for lectures, like a lot of people I knew. Instead I saved that rigmarole for when I actually went out, and it was a lovely thing to get compliments from friends, who saw the difference, as opposed to some people I knew who had to look ‘just so’ at all times, so when we went anywhere, they looked no different, and they would be the miffed ones, when there was no compliment!
And as I have matured, I realise that the sacrifices that may have been made by our mothers before us, aren’t really sacrifices we have to make now. I put my family first, my own little family. Then everyone else comes after. Our partners, children, parents and siblings are the important ones. As long as they are ok, I really couldn’t give a monkey’s arse what anyone else thinks!
And, if you are religious, you should know, that whatever you do, however you act, Him up there, He sees everything. He knows whether you are good or bad, right or wrong, and when judgement day comes, it all comes out anyway!
So me, I’m happy being me. I know I’ve made mistakes in the past.. boy have I made mistakes! But I have always tried to rectify them, and I have never intentionally gone out to hurt anyone.
And as it says above, Like it or lump it, this is the Ritu you are gonna get! (Unless you find another blogger called Ritu out there!)
Have a wonderful Thurdsay Peeps! And remember to be you!!!
dara40
Aug 21, 2015 @ 23:01:06
Reblogged this on Creations in Poetry & Words.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ritu
Aug 21, 2015 @ 23:46:22
Thank you! 😊
LikeLike
1humbleguy
Aug 21, 2015 @ 00:19:26
I’ve reached a point in my life where I accept the fact that God didn’t distribute brains equally.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ritu
Aug 21, 2015 @ 09:06:22
So true…!
LikeLike
ladymeritaten
Aug 20, 2015 @ 20:48:49
Agree wholeheartedly
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ritu
Aug 20, 2015 @ 21:41:44
😊
LikeLike
edwinasepisodes
Aug 20, 2015 @ 18:44:09
I like the Ritu that you are. Sod what anyone else thinks. is becoming my mantra just lately too! 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ritu
Aug 20, 2015 @ 19:52:34
I think that’s a great mantra!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ritu
Aug 20, 2015 @ 19:52:44
And thank you! 😊
LikeLiked by 1 person
edwinasepisodes
Aug 20, 2015 @ 20:35:17
xx
LikeLiked by 1 person
Donna
Aug 20, 2015 @ 17:40:56
well said
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ritu
Aug 20, 2015 @ 18:02:12
Thank you Donna ☺
LikeLike
Aby
Aug 20, 2015 @ 15:26:50
I believe that we can never please everyone. The only person I have to keep happy is myself. So you are right – be true to yourself. If I live by what I am , I stay happy, I stay grounded, I can spread happiness and be fair to the people around me. There are conflicts of course, but I am strong and logical while facing them. But it is one of the hardest thing to do. It is like taking a path less trodden. And I have a very long way to go 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ritu
Aug 20, 2015 @ 15:54:19
It is indeed a tough journey, but the destination is well worth the struggles 😊
LikeLiked by 1 person
Shivangi
Aug 20, 2015 @ 15:08:18
Wonderful post Ritu. It is very liberating to be oneself rather than try to be what others expect you to be. 😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ritu
Aug 20, 2015 @ 15:53:32
Thank you Shivangi. It is exhausting being who you aren’t.. Why do we push ourselves? I’m so happy in myself now, wish I’d been this way a lot sooner!
LikeLiked by 1 person
vanbytheriver
Aug 20, 2015 @ 14:53:29
With every passing year, it gets so much easier, and people tend to appreciate the authentic “you”, so much more than the image of you. ❤️ Van
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ritu
Aug 20, 2015 @ 15:52:01
Very very true, and if they don’t, they were never worth your time in the first place 😊
LikeLiked by 1 person
vanbytheriver
Aug 20, 2015 @ 17:49:13
For real.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ritu
Aug 20, 2015 @ 18:02:27
😊
LikeLiked by 1 person
wafflemethis
Aug 20, 2015 @ 14:31:01
The world couldn’t cope with more than one. Love you just the way you are sis😘
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ritu
Aug 20, 2015 @ 15:50:28
Aw thanks Bro! 😘😘😘
LikeLiked by 1 person
The V-Pub
Aug 20, 2015 @ 14:09:37
I agree entirely with that quote. Being comfortable in ones skin is a frame of mind that is immeasurable. I never wonder, nor really care, about that anymore. I am who I am and I feel good saying that!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ritu
Aug 20, 2015 @ 15:50:12
Amen to that Rob!!! Its how we should all think and feel, but I guess you need the age and experience to realize it…
LikeLiked by 1 person
charlypriest
Aug 20, 2015 @ 11:53:45
If I had to bother thinking about what others might think of me I´d probably go crazy, so I find it pointless to even give it a thought. And HIM up there, well hopefully He goes easy on me when judgement day comes, although He is there for the sinners I believe, so there´s no better candidate than me then. But I too have changed as I´ve matured, the word would be to “tweak” certain aspects of me, since at the end of the day I´m who I am and at my age I doubt I´ll change much.
By the way, what I really want to know is the nitty gritty details of your mistakes……..come on, tell meeeee!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ritu
Aug 20, 2015 @ 12:18:22
Lol, now THAT would be telling!
LikeLike
charlypriest
Aug 20, 2015 @ 12:27:59
come on, send me an email and tell me, come on. I´ll keep nagging at you if not, just like a little kid until I drive you nuts
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ritu
Aug 20, 2015 @ 15:47:39
Don’t forget,I spend all day with annoying kids, be it my own 2 or my class of 30… I’m used to it!!!
LikeLike
charlypriest
Aug 20, 2015 @ 18:38:22
No kidding? You´re a teacher then. I can´t compete with that, how are you still sane? That´s my question.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ritu
Aug 20, 2015 @ 19:51:28
Yup, I am! And a nursery teacher at that, 3-4 year olds!!!
LikeLike
charlypriest
Aug 20, 2015 @ 19:56:43
Then you probably would survive torture as if it was just a day in the park
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ritu
Aug 20, 2015 @ 19:59:55
Yup, I’d be hard to break!!
LikeLike
charlypriest
Aug 20, 2015 @ 20:02:21
I can bet on that
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ritu
Aug 20, 2015 @ 20:03:43
😏
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ritu
Aug 20, 2015 @ 19:51:41
And sane? Me? Questionable!!
LikeLike
charlypriest
Aug 20, 2015 @ 19:57:17
I know that!!!!!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ritu
Aug 20, 2015 @ 20:00:03
😁😁😁
LikeLiked by 1 person
charlypriest
Aug 20, 2015 @ 20:03:09
😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
Erika Kind
Aug 20, 2015 @ 09:44:37
That is a wonderful post, Ritu. So very heartfelt and deep. I so relate to every word. How I tried to fit in, to get the expectations of everyone around met. To tear myself apart to prove how perfect I am as a mother and housewife… for what? Nobody cared and I was treated like a doormat anyway. What a liberation once we find out that when we only do what we do in order to “buy” approval and love, we will never get it. As soon as I did not care about the surface but only lived according to my insight I got this all without effort and it even made me stronger because I was me again. A long way. I so hear you, Ritu and I am happy you could let go of this need of impressing others. What a liberation.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ritu
Aug 20, 2015 @ 10:47:39
It was liberating indeed sis, and I’m glad that I’ve finally got there!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Erika Kind
Aug 20, 2015 @ 12:05:35
That is such impacting insight! 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ritu
Aug 20, 2015 @ 12:19:40
😊😊😊
LikeLiked by 1 person
Erika Kind
Aug 20, 2015 @ 12:27:03
😊
LikeLiked by 1 person
niasunset
Aug 20, 2015 @ 09:43:38
I agree too dear Ritu. But should be the hardest thing to do this, I mean to find yourself, and to be you… because this is always coming up infront of us as a problem…Thank you my dear friend, wisely touching all your words. Have a nice day and weekend, love, nia
LikeLiked by 1 person
niasunset
Aug 20, 2015 @ 09:45:05
maybe I expressed in wrong way, I mean, to be you or to be me, to find myself…:)
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ritu
Aug 20, 2015 @ 10:47:52
Understood! 😊
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ritu
Aug 20, 2015 @ 10:47:02
Thank you for your words Nia. It takes time to find ones self, but once you have, it is much easier being at peace with yourself 😊
LikeLiked by 1 person
miusho
Aug 20, 2015 @ 09:30:13
This is very true… The closer to 30 I got, the less I cared.. now, I don’t care anymore! 😀
Although I should get back into the habit of brushing my hair…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ritu
Aug 20, 2015 @ 10:46:17
Lol! Yeah maybe a little bit of effort wouldn’t go amiss! 😜
LikeLiked by 1 person
miusho
Aug 20, 2015 @ 10:51:53
Eh but but.. SO much effort!!? 😥
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ritu
Aug 20, 2015 @ 12:16:46
I know how you feel… Don’t worry…!
LikeLiked by 1 person
susieshy45
Aug 20, 2015 @ 09:28:10
I liked what you have written there- very honest, brutal and all there. Keep using this tone in your life and in your writing – because I think this is your true voice.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ritu
Aug 20, 2015 @ 10:45:51
Thank you! I’m finally happy with who I am 😊
LikeLike
Smiling Notes
Aug 20, 2015 @ 08:11:01
Very well said..agree with you 100%!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ritu
Aug 20, 2015 @ 10:42:05
Yay!!! 😊
LikeLiked by 1 person
betternotbroken
Aug 20, 2015 @ 08:02:17
I like “you.”
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ritu
Aug 20, 2015 @ 10:41:41
Aw thanks! 😊
LikeLiked by 1 person