throwback Thursday | But I Smile Anyway...

Throwback Thursday #48 – First Dating Experiences

28 Jul 2022 35 Comments

by Ritu in Thoughts Opinions & Memories Tags: Blog, Blog Post, Blogger, Blogging, throwback Thursday

Having another go at Maggie and Laurens, Throwback Thursday challenge! This week it is Lauren who has set the questions.

This week’s prompt is: First Dating Experiences

On your very first date, did you do the asking, or were you asked out? My first ever date was a pretty big thing, especially as I really shouldn’t have been on a date as a good little Indian girl! I was in my first few weeks at university, finding my feet as an individual, with no parents keeping an eye out for me. I was asked out by an older guy, someone who was a real gentleman, when I look back, and yes, it was him who did the asking, after seeing me at a house party he was DJing at. We went to Central London, for a movie and dinner.
Were you typically stressed out before a first date? Did things seem to be easier the more you dated the same person? I think it was more nerves than stress, but things got much easier as you continued to date the same person.
What did you do to prepare for the date? Did you wear new clothes or special outfits? Well, you would have to do something special on that first date, didn’t you? I remember giggling with my friends as I prepared for this first grown-up date! Not new outfits but carefully planned!
How did you meet those first dates? Were your dates with friends of a family member or friends of a friend? At university, friends of fellow students.
Did you have a curfew on those early dates? Did you typically arrive home on time or were you constantly breaking curfew? I was at university, so my curfew was of my own setting!
Did your parents insist on meeting whomever you dated? I introduced my parents to the one person they needed to meet. (I didn’t date LOTS, honestly, but I wasn’t going to introduce them to everyone!)
Where did you usually go when on a date? (movies, concerts, picnics, etc.) It was a mixture of dinner, cinema, bars…
Did the boy/man always pay for the date, or did you go Dutch treat? At that time, it was more or less always the guy who paid for dates, but I also have.
Were you typically the talker or the listener on a date? I try to be both, but I tend to talk a lot, as some of you who have met me would readily agree!
What did you do if the date clearly wasn’t going well? (feign a headache, ask to go home, end the date early, etc.) There is always that backup plan, isn’t there? Luckily I never had to use mine!
A connection from the past to the present, if applicable. How long did you date your current partner before marriage? We just celebrated our twentieth wedding anniversary in November and have been together for nearly 25 years, so it was around 4 years before we married that we dated.
Bonus Question: Care to share a disastrous first date?????? Thankfully, no disastrous first dates to report!

I did it! I made a throwback Thursday on a Thursday!

Throwback Thursday #49 – First Dating Experiences

Throwback Thursday (On Tuesday!) #48 – That Was Then, This Is Now

26 Jul 2022 21 Comments

by Ritu in Thoughts Opinions & Memories Tags: Blog, Blog Post, Blogger, Blogging, throwback Thursday

Having another go at Maggie and Laurens, Throwback Thursday challenge! This week it is Lauren who has set the questions.

This week’s prompt is: That Was Then, This Is Now

1. When you were a kid, did you like your name? Would you have changed it if you could? Do you like it now? I have to say I never really thought about it as a child, which makes me think I just accepted it as a given. Ratinder is my full name, which was used at school, or if my mum was about to tell me off! At school, it got shortened to Ratty, after the character in Wind In The Willows, when we all watched it together as a class movie, one day. The character, yes? Not because that is a personality trait! At home, all my family called me Ritu, my nickname, which is what I associate with more, hence giving that as my main name as an adult. I still like Ratinder, after learning the meaning (Changing seasons), and also because of the history behind how I got the name. In Sikhism, it is a custom to go to the Gurdwara when a child is born. After prayers, the priest opens the Guru Granth Sahib (holy book)Nand the starting letter of the first word on that page is what is used as the first letter of the child’s name. Apparently, my parents had already chosen Ratinder, and Ritu for short, if they had a girl, but were told by the family elders that they couldn’t just name me like that, so Pops went to the Gurdwara, and when the letter was announced it was R. no one believed him, so he had to go back with one of his sisters, to witness it, and R came out again, so I think my name was decided by fate!
2. As a kid, what always brought a smile to your face? What about now, as an adult? (family-friendly, please) It is the same now as it was when I was a child, to be honest. Seeing my family and new books!
3. What was the most important lesson your parents taught you? Did you pass that lesson down to your family? My parents are just wonderful. I consider myself so blessed to have them. They taught us humility and to understand that enough really is enough. As a result, I feel my brother, and I are pretty grounded folk, and we strive for the best in life but without the greed that can become associated with the need for success. And we have both tried to instil the same in our own children.
4. Are there talents you started as a child that you still have? If so, what are they? I always loved writing stories as a child, and here I am now, a published author! That was the same with singing. No claim to fame however, I loved to sing as a kid, and I still do, and my voice isn’t too bad, either!
5. Is there something you regret not doing or starting when you were young? What was it? I wish I had started writing seriously earlier on!
6. Did you have more close friends as a kid or as an adult? Any idea why? I think I definitely have more close friends now as opposed to as a child. I had plenty of friends, per se, as a child, but the friendships were never allowed to become too close purely because we were always so busy outside of school with family things that I would only see these friends during school hours. The friends I made in University and as I started work, then became a mum, were friends I chose and friendships I have cultivated and kept strong with regular contact. And I have made some amazing online friends. Real friends and friendships have blossomed from a blog I barrely knew how to operate when I started!
7. Where did you go to think as a kid? Where do you go now? I used to sit in my room, or my garden. Now I think wherever I am!
8. What would be the name of the chapter of your life from 10 – 18? What would the name be the name of the chapter of your life currently? 10-18 would be called Who am I? The chapter for now woudl be This is Me!
9. What wonderful thing happened in your adult life that your child self could never have imagined? To become a published author, having a book with my name on the spine, and to be interviewed by people!
10. Would your child self like your adult self? Why or why not? I think little Ritu would be proud of me, and I hope she would like the Ritu I have become. Big Ritu loves children, so that would be a bonus as little Ritu loved them too, and that is why she wanted to be a teacher, and I think she woud be happy that big Ritu fulfilled that dream, too!

There you have it! I’ll try to be on this, on the actual Thursday, next week!

Throwback Thursday #48 – That Was Then And This Is Now

Throwback Thursday (On Friday!) #47 – Hanging Out

15 Jul 2022 11 Comments

by Ritu in Thoughts Opinions & Memories Tags: Blog, Blog Post, Blogger, Blogging, Hanging Out, throwback Thursday

Having another go at Maggie and Laurens, Throwback Thursday challenge! This week it is Lauren who has set the questions.

This week’s prompt is: Hanging Out.

Did you spend more time hanging out at friends’ houses or away from the eyes and ears of your parents? Not as a child. I was a true homebody. My school was a little further away and my friends lived in areas that were not easily accessible to me on a day-to-day basis. But I did hang out at certain cousin’s houses.
If you stayed home, how did you spend your time? As I mentioned before in a previous post, I have a huge extended family, and it was rare to mot have someone staying over. So it was either spending time with them or in my room reading.
Did you have a favourite eatery? On the rare occasion I was able to go out with my friends, we liked Pizzaland. It’s not around anymore, now, though!
Did you go to the mall with friends? I went more with some of my cousins of similar ages but they were like friends to me. We would hang out in Birmingham City Centre and just have a giggle.
Did you choose to socialize at bowling alleys, arcades, or roller rinks? Not that much, but the bowling alley was more of a haunt when I was in university.
Did you go miniature golfing or do another outside activity? Outdoor activities were definitely not my choice of fun!
Did you hang around after school killing time? What did you do? I never hung out after school. It was straight home because Mum used to pick me up.
Did your parents typically know where you were? All of the time. Even as a student in uni I would call them and if we were going out, I would tell them, as there was no point in lying.
Did you prefer to “hang” out with friends or family members? I loved both for different reasons. Being with family meant you could be with people who understood your day-to-day life and culture. With friends, I was able to develop my own individuality, which stayed with me as I grew up.
Was it “cool” to be seen hanging out at any particular place? Quite possibly, as a school kid, yes, but I never knew, lol!
Was there a place you wanted to hang out, but weren’t allowed to? There were times I wished I could stay with my school friends more and just do whatever they got to do, so I could be more involved in conversations about things they had all done, but then again, I could never say I regretted how my childhood was because I had a wonderful one, all things considered!

There you have it! I’ll try to be on this, on the actual Thursday, next week!

Throwback Thursday #47 – Hanging Out

Throwback Thursday (On Saturday!) #46 – Secrets, Hiding Places and Niches

09 Jul 2022 18 Comments

by Ritu in Thoughts Opinions & Memories Tags: Blog, Blog Post, Blogger, Blogging, Hiding Places and Niches, Secrets, throwback Thursday

Having another go at Maggie and Laurens, Throwback Thursday challenge! This week it is Maggie who has set the questions.

This week’s prompt is: Secrets, Hiding Places and Niches.

Did you keep a diary or a journal? If so, where did you keep it? I kept various diaries over the years, but I was never one to manage a continuous one. I still have the part diaries, and I love reading them. This terrible habit of not finishing is still with me. I have a one like a day five-year journal, and I have been trying to keep it for about three years, but I’ve still not completed a year!
Did you have treasures or money you hid from siblings or parents? No, I really didn’t have anything of value that they weren’t aware of!
Did you have a need to hide things your parents would not approve of, like cigarettes, etc.? As a child this was something highly unlikely. However, during the college/university years, there might have been a few things. but instead of things, it was relationships! Eek! As an adult, I am always hiding my favourite snacks from the family…
Thinking back, describe your most creative hiding place. There was never anything really creative, just specific drawers, or under the mattress!
Did you have a tin box or safe or a diary with a lock? I had one diary with a lock and key, and a piggy bank shaped like a little Barclays Bank that had a combination lock!
What about yourself? Did you ever have a favorite get away spot or hiding place? Not so much a hiding place, but I loved squirrelling away in my bedroom with a good book. Some things never change!
If you did not feel the need to hide away, where did you go for a little alone time? If the weather was good, I would sit on the swing in our garden, or again, in my bedrooom
If you had siblings, did they hide things from you? If so, what types of things? I don’t think my brother and I ever really wanted the same things, to hiding them was no worry. However, he liked to hide unpleasant things for me to find… like catching Daddy Long Legs in an empty cotton bud container, then offering me one, with the lid on, only for me to scream at the sight of the gangly legged creatures trapped inside! Typical brother!
Now that you are an adult, do you still have little niches where you hide things away, like mad money, treasured letters, etc? I only wish I had mad money to hide away. I think I am more often than not, hiding the bills, from myself! As I mentioned above, I do hide my favourite snacks in places the kids won’t find them,(they are gannets, as teens tend to be!), and I have little boxes filled with treasured letters, cards and items, but they aren’t so much hidden, as in safe places.
When you feel the need to be alone, to where do you retreat? I have a couple of places I could go, in my home. My bedroom is one sanctuary, then, I have my writing room with its reading nook or the summer house. But sometimes, the best place is in my classroom, after the rest have left. Peace from my class, some colleagues and the noise of my teen-aged family!

There you have it! I’ll try to be on this, on the actual Thursday, next week!

Throwback Thursday #46 – Secrets, Hiding Places and Niches

Throwback Thursday #45 Bedtime Rituals

30 Jun 2022 19 Comments

by Ritu in Thoughts Opinions & Memories Tags: Bedtime Routines, Blog, Blog Post, Blogger, Blogging, throwback Thursday

I thought I’d try out a new ‘thing’ this week, after reading some lovely posts that my blog sis Willow has been writing, following prompts from Lauren and Maggie. This week it is Maggie who has set the questions.

Did you share a room with a sibling, or did you have a room of your own?

When we were younger, my brother and I shared a cosy little box room, with a bunk bed in it. I was on top and he was on the bottom, as the younger sibling. Obviousy, as we got older the sharing would have to swap. He was lucky enough to get his own room, as I moved out to a bigger room, but I ended up sharing with an older cousin who came to live with us for a few years, from Kenya, to continue her education. I may have had this larger room to myself for a short while, but it never lasted long, as another cousin came to stay, not long after. During the breaks in cousins who came to live with us, I would have that spare twin bed in my room, but it was the first place a guest was placed to sleep if they came over! I think university was the time I had my own room, finally, that no one else would be sharing!

2. Did you resist going to bed or did you go willingly?

I wasn’t too bad at going to bed. My brother was awful. However, whether I slept straight away, was another matter! I loved my bed, and still do, but I can while away hours, just reading into the night.

3. Did someone put you to bed, tuck you in, or read you a bedtime story?

When we were younger, my mum read stories to us. As I got older and learned to read myself, I would read my own book. But Mum and Pops always came and tucked us in and said goodnight.

4. Was there a religious component, like prayers, to your nighttime routine?

Yes, we would always recite a verse from the Guru Granth Sahib (we are Sikh) before bed, with Mum or Pops. I did it with my children, too.

5. Did you go to sleep immediately, or lie awake?

As I touched upon before, unless I was exhausted, I would read. When I was a little older I had a TV in my room, so sometimes I would watch programmes, first, then read, and then sleep.

6. Did you journal, read a book, talk on the phone or with your siblings, or watch television when you were supposed to be sleeping?

Everyone knew what a bookworm I was, even at a young age, so books were with me no matter where I was. I even had a torch under the cover to keep reading, after Mum had been round to tell us it was lights out time!

7. Did you ever sleepwalk?

No, I haven’t done that or talked in my sleep, and I am sure I would have been told, if I had, considering all the roommates I had!

8. Did you remember having dreams? If you dreamed, did you ever have bad dreams? Do you remember any dreams specifically?

There was a time when I used to have such vivid dreams that I would write what I remembered in a notebook I kept by the side of my bed. They were strange, long, very involved dreams that used to have so many aspects to them! When I was much younger, I remember there was a time I had a recurring bad dream about being left on a plane alone by my family. I would wake up screaming. It was a time there was strife going on in the wider family, and despite my parents trying to keep conversations from our ears, other members of the family weren’t so conscientious, and I think the overhead words were a trigger for this.

9. Were you afraid of the dark? Did you sleep with a nightlight or sneak into your sibling’s or parent’s room at night because you were afraid?

I am always so glad that I wasn’t one to be afraid of the dark. I loved it, in fact. What I hated were the awful polystyrene tiles on the ceiling, which meant that if a moth or a daddy-long legs managed to enter my room, I could hear them hitting the ceiling, and I would end up screaming out to my Pops to come and rescue me!

10. Did you have or attend sleepovers or slumber parties? Feel free to elaborate.

Having the huge family that we did, there were often sleepovers with them, or with cousins staying over (not the above ones, but other regular, live in this country cousins!) We would have midnight feasts and talk until late at night. I loved it! And I used to thoroughly enjoy staying at other peoples’ houses. I didn’t have school friends stay over, because we were quite far from the school, plus I think I was always worried that they would think our Indian household was a bit weird! Plus, half the time there wasn’t space! But I did like to stay over at theirs, so I could experience a true English family life for a night. It was an experience!

Well, that was fun! Shall I do it again, next week?