Vocation | But I Smile Anyway...

Tired Teacher Thoughts #ThrowbackThursday

19 Jul 2018 108 Comments

by Ritu in Thoughts Opinions & Memories Tags: Blog, Blog Post, Blogger, Blogging, Life of A Teacher, Neverending, summer holidays, Teacher, Teaching, Vocation

We are nearly there, the finish line is firmly in sight!

Across the country you can hear the count downs, some with 3 days some with 5 left, but the quiet whispers of ‘One Monday left, One Tuesday left…’ has now changed to ‘5 days, 4 days…’

And no, that is not the school children getting excited at the prospect of their six weeks of bliss with no homework, no getting up early, no teachers and NO SCHOOL!

I am talking about the teachers!

I have always said teaching is a vocation.

You either want to do it or you don’t.

But even if you really want to do it, nothing, and I mean NOTHING, can prepare you for the all encompassing exhaustion that accompanies the best profession in the world!

You see the little seeds of your pupils planted in your care at the beginning of the year, and as you realise what they need to flourish, you chart every stage of their germination, encouraging growth academically, emotionally and physically. The end of the year sees you proudly showing off the blooms you have helped to cultivate.

But not without wiping yourself out.

What with planning lessons that will engage and encourage, delivering all singing, all dancing lessons, assessing and marking, filling in spreadsheets and creating classroom environments to inspire, alongside termly reports and progress grids, not to mention our own teaching observations and performance management meetings, we still have to deal with staff meetings, parent meetings, parents in general and other class based issues. And I can’t forget the extra duties such as subject responsibilities, and clubs that we may run.

It is truly exhausting.

And we thank the day that the school gates finally shut in July… to the children anyway.

You see, contrary to popular belief, once the kids go home, it doesn’t automatically mean that the teachers pack up and leave in a ‘Let’s party! School’s out!’rush.

No.

Many of those teachers will probably leave earlier than normal, then the following Monday will be back in class. (Or maybe the last week of the holidays)

Yes.

We love our jobs that much.

Because it’s not possible to give your children the education they need without planning and preparation. And if we are teaching in the term time, and during school hours, we need to put in that overtime (unpaid, might I add) at home, and in school, to get things ready for our class of angels!

So, I will finish on Tuesday (Yesss!) then be back on Wednesday with my colleagues, clearing the classroom, sorting through resources, preparing display boards, naming books, printing resources, filing paperwork, ordering necessary items. We may be back all week, it may be a few days, but that will be the start of our break.

Then once we leave the school gates, our summer can finally start, but we know that wherever we go, our teacher mind is on somewhere in the back ground, collecting things that will help with our teaching, and any spare moments, we will probably be browsing Pinterest, saving ideas for the next year. And we will keep seeing stationery that would be soooo great for our class! (Cue spending from our own pockets, because we just can’t help it!)

You think your name (Mr/Miss/Mrs …) will be forgotten for the summer, but as you walk through your hometown, you can guarantee you will find a student, or their family, calling your name. Sometimes you want to hide, to forget you are a teacher, but for the most part, you relish the recognition! After all, a child remembers you and wants to speak to you, even out of school! That must be a good thing, right?

A teacher’s work is never done.

And I wouldn’t change it for anything!

( Actually, that’s a lie! I would change it so that there weren’t so many unrealistic expectations on the children, so much demand for accountability, so much paperwork and red tape, taking the fun out of lessons you could be teaching… Oh and a pay rise would be wonderful!)

So, once my extra stint is finished at school, I will be off to spend time caring for Pops, and getting some rewriting done on that finished but not forgotten manuscript (in between keeping the kids apart! 😉 You know what I mean!)

And before we know it, September will be knocking… actually August, because we go back on 30th August… well, us teachers, anyway!

But I am soooo not thinking about that end of the holidays yet!

Born To Teach or Taught To Teach? #ThrowbackThursday

01 Mar 2018 91 Comments

by Ritu in Thoughts Opinions & Memories Tags: Blog, Blog Post, Blogger, Blogging, Career, School, Teaching, Vocation

Written before I finally got my own class! But the question still stands…

Image Source, words my own.

I think it’s quite apparent to those of you that read this blog regularly, that I work with children, as an educator, a teacher.

Something a colleague said to me the other week really made me think, and it’s been on my mind ever since.

Is this true?

A good teacher is born, just that.

It’s an inherent quality that is within you, from the beginning. And though there are teaching colleges, and degrees, if you don’t have that quality, you will never be a truly GOOD teacher.

Is it true?

I really don’t know… I have seen some truly awful ‘teachers’ over the years, and experienced them, as a student too. Those that teach by the book. Using methods that they have learned by rote.

Then I have seen those inspiring educators, who seem to just emit that glow of learning, and seem to impart knowledge to their students, without the kids even knowing that they have just learned something new.

Sure, it never hurt anyone to learn a few skills, but it’s how you use them in practice that is the important thing, I guess…

I wanted to be a teacher from the tender age of 7. I remember it well. When I realised what I wanted to do. It’s all down to Jo Duck! She was our Head Girl at school when I was finishing Primary School, and she came down to us for her work experience. Up until then, I had naturally enjoyed school, and the teachers were part and parcel, of a great experience that I had had. Suddenly, it was brought to my attention that being a teacher was a job! It was something I could do too! And well, that was it, my mind was made up.

Sure I went through the ‘I wanna be a pop star/film star/hairdresser’ etc. phase, but I always came back to the teaching option. As I grew up, attending all the family functions that having a huge family generates, I would naturally end up with all the little kids around me, sometimes even setting up a school, and playing being teacher. This continued as I got older, but it would be the parents bringing their children to me, and knowing I would happily keep them entertained.

The thought of spending my whole working life with these little creatures of wonder, these empty vessels, these dry sponges, filled me with excitement! I wanted to be the one to fill them with knowledge, to give them the liquid knowledge for them to soak up.

Then, as was the requirement, I went to university, to study for my degree… 4 years to perfect what I always wanted to do. But by the third year, I was totally disheartened. Really? Is THIS what teaching was? A whole load of red tape, paperwork, assessments, tests? When did we get to be with the children? Learning? Playing? Having fun? I know there was going to be work in there too, but what I remember from school was so different to what I was expected to provide to a class of children. It’s like the National Curriculum had arrived, just in time to suck out the fun from schools. This was not what I had signed up for!

I was so close to quitting, but a conversation with my mum sat in the stairwell of my student digs in my third year, convinced me to at least finish my degree. But the rot had set in. I had lost that oomph.

Fast forward 14 odd years. I had worked in retail, in the banking industry, then in an office for a marketing company, but no schools. I had my husband and family, and situations at the time meant I left my then job, to give my all to my children, and my son in particular, who needed more support, academically.

But I couldn’t be a Stay At Home Mum, for various reasons. I needed to find work. Something that would suit my life as a wife and mother. One of the mums at Lil Man’s school knew my qualifications and mentioned that there was a Bi-Lingual Teaching Assistant job going at the school. Hours-wise, that would be great, term-time, holidays with the kids, and start and finish alongside them too! And maybe, just maybe, I could get to do what I loved, finally!

I applied, I got an interview, and I got the job! Well, it would have been a no brainier, Teacher for Teaching Assistant money (and, believe me, it is a pittance of salary!).

So, nervously, I stepped back into education, and almost as soon as I got in, working with Primary and Junior school children, that spark was truly ignited once again. Why had I never gone back to it?

I wanted my own class, but I could also see the stresses and strains that the class teachers of now, have put upon them, by the school’s management, who, in turn, are pressured by the higher powers, to produce results, Results RESULTS!

It’s still there though, that yearning for being an inspiration to a generation of children through teaching them. Sure, I get to be something to them as the Teaching Assistant, but it’s not the same as them being your babies, your class… I’m lucky that the teacher I work with gives me a lot of leeway, and respects my ideas, sometimes using them too.

Going back to what my colleague said to me, the other week. She was surprised that I wasn’t a teacher in the school from my demeanour and behaviour with the kids. And she told me “I believe a true teacher is born, not taught. It’s in you. And I can see that in you.”

Honestly, it was one of the biggest compliments that I have ever received, both professionally, and personally.

I can totally see that teaching is not a job or a career, but a vocation. You have to want to do it, you need to have the love for it, in order to do it well. And from that, get the results you hope to achieve.

One day…. I hope, it will happen. I’ll be able to do the job I love fully, with the support of my colleagues, and I already know I have the support of my family behind me!

What do you think? Born to teach or taught to teach?

When I Grow Up…. #ThrowbackThursday

31 Aug 2017 94 Comments

by Ritu in Thoughts Opinions & Memories Tags: Blog, Blog Post, Blogger, Blogging, Dreams, growing up, Reality, Teaching, Vocation

A post from my archives!

As a 7 year old, I watched the 16 year old head girl of our school wandering around the infant section of our school. Alice House, it was called. We all asked why the big girl was there. Not in a negative way. She was wonderful, helping us with work, and with kind words, encouraging us to do our best.

Work Experience. Oh! What was that? Well apparently she was interested in becoming a teacher, and so she came to us to really see what it was like, working as a teacher, with little people.

This was the moment it really embedded in my brain that there were jobs in this world. You could choose to be something! That was also the moment I decided, without a doubt, that I wanted to be a teacher to little people too!

And from then on, forget university, my training started! I am blessed with a huge extended family. And boy were there a lot of guinea pigs available to be my test pupils!

It was not uncommon to find me in the middle of a group of children, at any given family function. Most likely, the situation was that the parents went actively looking for me, to foist their children on me. Not that I minded, I loved them, babies and toddlers, little people if all ages. I was in my element!

Fast forward to when I was 15 and sitting my GCSE’s. It was my time to do work experience. And I did it exactly where I had first got the seed of inspiration as to what I wanted my vocation in life to be. Alice House.

This is Alice House. I went up to the attic to find this painting… a treasured memory of my wonderful time there!

It was wonderful to be in that classroom with these little people, and my dream grew. I was, one day, going to be that inspirational person standing in front of those children. I was going to make a difference. I was going to help them cultivate a love of learning, and be someone they remembered fondly. I was going to have wonderful ideas, and teach them wacky things that would help them along on their academic journey…

All through my A-Levels, I volunteered a morning a week there too, and enjoyed every minute. It was so great that my actual nursery teacher was still there, and she loved that she had me back in the classroom with her. I experienced other schools as I completed other work experiences too, and my dream was cemented. I was going to make it a reality.

My UCAS form was filled in, with my course choice – a B/Ed with English & Drama as the specialist subject. This was such an exciting time!

…but it started to fade…

As I proceeded through the 4 year course, it was obvious that the Government had tampered with education to such an extent, that there was now a strict National Curriculum for us to follow. There were standard assessments, and topics that had to be covered in certain ways, and then results to be formulated in various manners… form filling, pen pushing, red tape…

Hang on, where were the children in all this???

I didn’t recall all this form filling, and stress on the teachers I had worked with.

Nearing the end of Year 3 of my degree, I clearly recall a phone conversation I had with my mother. I was sat on the stairs of the house I was living in, and I told her I didn’t think I could carry on with this farce of a course that was masquerading as Teacher Training. “It’s not about the kids anymore mum. It’s all about scores, and piles of paper.” At that stage I had experienced 3 block teaching practices, and been snowed under by all the planning and assessments that were required.

My days were filled with stress of what to teach, and how, so I got those scores required at the end, not about the enjoyment of the child, or whether they had any interest in what they were learning.

Needless to say, I finished my degree. At least I knew I had that behind me. But I had no inclination to find a teaching job. My dream was shattered.

I spent the next nearly 14 years working in retail, in banking, in marketing, getting married, building a home, having a family, and I was pretty happy with all that was happening.

Once in a while Hubby Dearest would ask me whether I would consider school as a career again. But I was still adamant. This was no longer my dream. It was just a fantasy, and the reality that I had been shown was far removed from the ideals I had formed.

It was the needs of my children that actually pushed me back into the education sector.

I was working full time, and my Mother in Law was looking after my children during the day. Lil Man was in full time school, and seemed to be struggling. Lil Princess was still a mere 3 year old tiddler.

Mum was concerned that she couldn’t help her grandson in the way he needed, with regards to school work, and I was home so late that it was hard for me to sit with him for the time he needed, to do things together. So, after a lot of thought, I handed my notice in at the marketing job I had held for 9 years.

It was wonderful having that childhood time back with my kids. I looked for part time jobs but nothing came up.

Then a friend, who is also a parent of one of my son’s class mates, mentioned there was a teaching assistant job going at school. It would be ideal, hours wise, and I would get the holidays with the kids too. No stress, no planning or paperwork, but working with kids again, and not having the pressure of a teacher. Sounds good right?

Well, I went for it, and the job was mine for the taking. (Think about it though, a qualified teacher, at Teaching Assistant money, which school would refuse that??!)

It was a wonderful way to make me realise my dream, though it was a little faded, slightly jaded, was still there, in the back of my mind. And with the weeks, and months of being within the school environment, the dream started to sparkle again, it gained clarity, and my main focus became to get myself back on that horse. I wanted to take the reins, fully Have my own class, plan, assess, educate!

I was in a much better position than I had been during my degree. I was older, with more life experience. I had seen far too many younger Newly Qualified Teachers crack under the stress of teaching, where the work/life balance is so unevenly placed. The expectations on each individual so high, and at times, unrealistic. It was no wonder they didn’t want to carry on.

But I made a huge decision, fully informed, after being in school for 3 years, that I wanted to get back into teaching. My own two children were that much older, and not to say they didn’t need me any more, but they were more mature, and settled, and able to cope with life, knowing mummy might be a bit busy, or stressed during term time

As you all know, I did a course, to update my qualifications, and within the course time, the job I am in now, came up. My head teacher was all for me getting the role, and even though she wanted it to happen too, I had to go through all the official procedures, and interview to get the job.

If you have been reading since September, you’ll know I have had a pretty, ahem, colourful start, with a very ‘interesting’ mix of children in the nursery. My Co-Teacher, who has been teaching Early Years for 13 years, said to me the other week that she felt awful for me, having such a bunch as my first official class.

I’d like to think of it as a Baptism Of Fire! You know, I am exhausted. I have never felt as tired as I do right now I am counting the days, hours, minutes to half term which starts next Friday at 3.45pm, so I get a week off. It has been really tough. I never thought it would be like this, but WOW!

I always knew nursery was not just ‘all play’ like many think it to be. I mean yes, it is play, but constructive play, play with meaning, and a time to hone many skills, embed many behaviours that a child needs in both their academic, and personal life.

Yes, it has been tough, probably the toughest 6 weeks I have gone through in a long time, but it has been rewarding too, honestly. There is a huge corner we need to get these children to turn, but I can, at last, see the bend. There are changes happening, slowly but surely. The children that were causing us the most difficulty are starting to settle.

I’m not entirely sure they are going to be reciting their ABC any time soon, or solving equations, but we may just get them to become decent human beings at least!

Is this what I had dreamed of?

Was this what I wanted to be doing with my life?

Is this teaching?

It’s not quite what I had expected. but yes, knowing I am doing something with these children, making a difference, is exactly what I wanted to be doing. I am teaching, but not the subject matter I thought I would teach. It’s more life skills and behaviour.

Ask me again in July, how I feel about these children, and the challenges we have faced…

But for now, I can definitely say I have grown up to be what I always wanted to be!