I had a sad day yesterday. Some of you may have noticed, from my Haiku post. Since Sunday, when I drove back from my parents, I kept on seeing one magpie. There are so many of them around, but only one at a time came into my vision. If you know the rhyme, you know what the sighting of one single magpie is said signify, if you aren’t familiar, read more here. I thought maybe it was because we were saying bye to my brother and his family, or because we were heading home, and I was leaving my parents, but there was a bigger reason, which I found out yesterday. And feeling the sadness I still am, seeing a single Magpie again today just emphasised my sorrow.
It is always awful to lose a loved one, let alone two. Even if you know the news is coming, and you prepare yourself, it is never an easy bit of news to digest. I wrote about saying Goodbye before.
This is what I was faced with yesterday.
Our weekend had gone swimmingly, but there had been a shadow hanging over that too.
My oldest first cousin was in hospital. She had suffered a massive heart attack 10 days previously. After various procedures, she had emergency open heart surgery, after which she hadn’t gained consciousness. She wasn’t responding. The odds were on the machine being switched off were very high.
We prayed that she was ok, that she would hang on, take a turn for the better even. It was a special prayers, especially for my Finndian nephew, on Saturday. A time of joy and thanksgiving. And the fear was ever present that something could happen before, or even during the ceremony. But it didn’t. God, and my cousin were with us on that score.
On Sunday, a decision was made, that indeed, they couldn’t keep her hanging, and on Monday, once all the immediate family were gathered, her inner light was to be dimmed. The machine keeping her alive was to be switched off.
So with this bit of information, I went to work with a heavy heart yesterday. I knew that I would receive a sorrow filled message from Pops at some point in the day.
And at 7.45am, as I was chatting to a colleague about our weekends, my phone beeped. It was Pops. I read the words, several times over. What I was reading was not computing. I was expecting to read about a certain person, but instead Pops was announcing the passing of another family member. My Great aunt. My mother’s last surviving aunt.
Tears pooled in my eyes and began to drop. It wasn’t just the fact that we had lost a very special lady, but that I had not been expecting that news today. She was old, and yes, her time to go had been imminent for the last 4 years, but I was prepared for another bit of news, not about my dear old Great Aunt.
I just about made it through the day, checking my phone regularly, but I didn’t get the message about my cousin until after 4pm. She slipped away peacefully with all her family around her.
Two more stars graced the skies as of yesterday. And they will be bright ones. Both women were extremely colourful characters. I am almost glad I didn’t see them in hospital, as they had become mere shells of themselves. I have memories of these larger than life women, who had opinions, and shared them, who fought for causes dear to their hearts, who loved us all dearly.
I spent the evening sobbing, then composing myself, only to feel tears on my cheeks again. The waiting, stress, and tension had given me a migraine too. My work were wonderful, and I had the day off today to compose myself, and make all those essential, but very tough phone calls. Neither of these precious souls lived close to me, so shall have to time getting over there to pay my condolences.
But I have come to accept what happened. It’s never easy.
My only fear… they say things come in threes. I may need to accidentally on purpose go and break my favourite cup, or something. I couldn’t cope with any more bad news,
But I Smile Anyway... 
Nov 02, 2015 @ 21:39:40
Sorry to hear about your losses. It’s never easy especially when it’s one after another.
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Nov 02, 2015 @ 21:45:46
Thank you
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Oct 31, 2015 @ 04:19:47
I’m so sorry for your loss, Ritu. Saying goodbye to the ones we love is never easy. Sending up prayers for peace for your heart.
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Oct 31, 2015 @ 12:05:33
Thank you Laura
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Oct 29, 2015 @ 10:51:37
Condolences… How are you coping?
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Oct 29, 2015 @ 11:06:49
Thank you. I attended one funeral yesterday, which was emotional but a beautiful send off…
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Oct 29, 2015 @ 11:23:35
OK.. Its such a shame both went at the same time.. That kind of happened to me.. But with a family I knew, and my primary school teacher.
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Oct 29, 2015 @ 11:32:11
I know… It’s just the way of the world, I guess….
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Oct 29, 2015 @ 19:35:28
I remember when my grandfather died.. A family friend of his wife’s died.. Within about two years of him.. Especially with old people, they tend to miss each other and then they go.. Sad! 😥
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Oct 29, 2015 @ 19:48:00
They do indeed… Its just tough when it happens together…
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Oct 23, 2015 @ 08:42:36
Ritu, there are times in everyone’s life when sorrow cup overflows and it’s quite ok to let the heart feel the pain. It’s only when we ourselves go through pain that we can understand how others feel when they are not always quite as happy, chirpy, shiny and smiley as us. There are good times and bad times in everyone’s life and it’s good to be able to relate to others.
May God give you strength to bear any losses! As we grow older, our aunties and uncles begin to leave us one after the other. As I started blogging I went through similar sad times, and I probably seemed like a sad soul; rather becoming a butt of ridicule for some of our fellow bloggers. But that’s how I felt those days because not only that I had no father since the age of 20 but now I lost both my in-laws within a gap of few months, to cancer and to stroke. Plus I live miles away and couldn’t be there to see them off.
And yet, at a personal level, miseries not only make us stronger but also transform us into a sensitive and I’d say a better human being. Losing one’s father early is what made me empathize with others in a similar situation, otherwise I’d have been assuming others are being unnecessarily sad when they are so.
God bless!!
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Oct 23, 2015 @ 16:34:05
Thank you for your kind words Alka. It is true, sometimes, itbus hard to sympathize if you haven’t experienced these losses. Empathy can be hard to feel too.
I really appreciate your comment, and feel for you and your losses too xx
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Oct 22, 2015 @ 06:45:52
so sad to hear about these loses.
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Oct 22, 2015 @ 07:02:16
Thank you…
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Oct 21, 2015 @ 19:28:23
I have not ‘liked’ this as it seems a bit wrong, but I feel for you Ritu. I hope that you had a bit of time to reflect on the happier times you shared with them today. I am sure they are shining down on your with love.
xxx
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Oct 21, 2015 @ 19:37:51
Thank you Judy
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Oct 21, 2015 @ 17:20:17
I hit the ‘like’ but I meant X
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Oct 21, 2015 @ 19:21:56
Thank you Yvonne
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Oct 21, 2015 @ 15:14:07
Oh, Ritu, I am so very sorry for your losses. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers xo
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Oct 21, 2015 @ 19:20:09
Thank you Dorinda
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Oct 21, 2015 @ 12:09:39
So very sorry for your loss! ((Hugs))
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Oct 21, 2015 @ 19:17:15
Thank you
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Oct 21, 2015 @ 09:52:46
I am so sorry for your loss. Losing my father in 1996 was similar to your cousin, but I was with him when he slipped away, holding his hand , with my mother, husband and brother also by his bedside, so he didn’t die alone.
As for unexpected news, this happened with my grandfathers: my maternal grandfather had been ill and been in hospital, but it was my paternal grandfather who died suddenly. My father and I were the last family members he recognised before slipping into a coma and passing peacefully away some hours later.
You will always have your memories. As you say, two new stars are shining brightly, watching over you, never gone. My thoughts are with you.
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Oct 21, 2015 @ 19:15:56
Thank you for your kind words. Memories are so important…
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Oct 21, 2015 @ 19:16:45
Yes they are, it’s what makes some so precious.
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Oct 21, 2015 @ 07:50:40
I mean to say that god may provide you the strength to overcome this grief.Any way your presentation is great,lovely.Keep it on
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Oct 21, 2015 @ 19:13:53
Thank you
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Oct 22, 2015 @ 03:00:02
Welcome
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Oct 21, 2015 @ 07:46:58
Great lovely.Please have a look on my blog too.I hope you will like my posts.
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Oct 27, 2015 @ 23:58:55
Thanks Prajjwal, I shall head on over 🙂
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Oct 28, 2015 @ 09:38:23
Yours welcome
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Oct 21, 2015 @ 07:43:52
Ritu, I am 46 and have reached that stage in life, when I am truly grateful when one of my older relatives passes on, because I can’t bear to see them suffer either loneliness or ill-health in their old age and wish for them a better life in the new world they move on to. This may seem cruel and not very sympathetic but life has taught me that there is so much more suffering in this realm than in the unknown. Maybe you can rest easier thinking they are well where they have gone on to.
Praying for you Ritu and for your family.
Susie
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Oct 21, 2015 @ 19:13:27
Thank you Susie, I definitely think like you say, but there’s that selfish part of me that hates to say goodbye… You know?
Prayers gratefully received 😊🙏🏼
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Oct 21, 2015 @ 07:11:05
Very sorry to hear of your losses. Take care.
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Oct 21, 2015 @ 07:19:59
Thank you Janice
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Oct 21, 2015 @ 06:15:47
Hi Ritu,
I know many people here. You liked Tim’s post. He promoted three of my links, so I wanted to come over to say thank you. Do you know Ronovan? He publishes haikus often. Nice to meet you.
Janice
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Oct 21, 2015 @ 06:43:26
Hi Janice,
Nice to meet you.
Yes, I know Ronovan, I do his haiku challenge every week.
Look forward to getting to know you.
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Oct 21, 2015 @ 06:44:19
Me too! Thanks!
Janice
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Oct 21, 2015 @ 06:46:15
😊
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Oct 21, 2015 @ 06:08:33
I am sorry for your loss – It is specially worse when one bad news follows the other. I am thinking, you had great family time over the weekend and maybe it was a part of the plan to have that quality time as a cushion before you were faced with the news. Remember what you have got and take care ❤
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Oct 21, 2015 @ 06:41:56
Thank you Prajakta… God works in mysterious ways, of that I am sure…
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Oct 21, 2015 @ 04:28:56
I’m so sorry about your loss. Sending you lots of hugs!
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Oct 21, 2015 @ 06:41:04
Thank you
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Oct 21, 2015 @ 04:19:16
My condolences, Ritu. It’s always hard in times like this. Hug to you.
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Oct 21, 2015 @ 06:40:57
Thank you Ann
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Oct 21, 2015 @ 03:33:17
my condolances
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Oct 21, 2015 @ 06:40:46
Thank you
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Oct 21, 2015 @ 03:29:49
RIP, great aunt and first cousin, Ritu. Sorry for your double loss. Thinking of you over here.
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Oct 21, 2015 @ 06:40:38
Thank you Mark
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Oct 21, 2015 @ 02:53:16
I will keep you and your family in my prayers, Ritu. Sending you inner peace and comforting thoughts.
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Oct 21, 2015 @ 06:40:15
Thank you Syl
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Oct 21, 2015 @ 14:21:55
You’re very welcome, Ritu
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Oct 21, 2015 @ 02:39:35
I’m so sorry, Ritu…
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Oct 21, 2015 @ 06:40:06
Thank you Sandra
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Oct 21, 2015 @ 02:34:28
Oh, your poor broken heart.
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Oct 21, 2015 @ 06:39:55
It’s got a plaster on it Linda, but still hurts,..
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Oct 21, 2015 @ 02:11:20
I honestly hope that threes theory isn’t true!
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Oct 21, 2015 @ 06:36:37
Thanks Dr C… I hope not either, but you know what it’s like, when that thought is stuck, niggling in the back of your mind… Just want it to go away…
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Oct 21, 2015 @ 00:51:10
That was so hard to read. So sorry for you and your family.
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Oct 21, 2015 @ 06:35:45
Thank you
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Oct 21, 2015 @ 00:32:27
So so sorry for your loss.
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Oct 21, 2015 @ 06:35:05
Thank you Nicky
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Oct 21, 2015 @ 00:09:38
I am sorry, Ritu. Thinking of you and your family.
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Oct 21, 2015 @ 06:34:50
Thank you Tonya
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Oct 20, 2015 @ 21:20:33
So, so sorry for your loss. Good thoughts sent your and your family’s way. 😔
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Oct 20, 2015 @ 21:22:57
Thank you so much
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Oct 20, 2015 @ 21:06:46
Please accept my sincere condolences, Ritu.
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Oct 20, 2015 @ 21:16:11
Thank you Rob
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Oct 20, 2015 @ 21:00:57
My thoughts are with you, Ritu.
Leslie
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Oct 20, 2015 @ 21:17:59
Thank you Leslie
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Oct 20, 2015 @ 20:47:00
I’m so sorry. Love and strength to you and your family.
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Oct 20, 2015 @ 21:17:15
Thank you Elizabeth
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Oct 20, 2015 @ 20:38:17
Oh I’m so sorry for you and your family’s losses, Ritu. 😦 May they rest in peace. I’m sad for you.
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Oct 20, 2015 @ 21:16:46
Thank you Amaya
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Oct 20, 2015 @ 20:30:11
This is one of the posts which should have a “sympathy” button instead a “like” button, Ritu! I hug you strongly and dearly! Much love to you, sis! I already told you yesterday. 💖💖💖
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Oct 20, 2015 @ 21:13:55
Thank you sis. I appreciate your words xxx
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Oct 20, 2015 @ 21:16:09
Feel hugged, sis!
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Oct 20, 2015 @ 21:18:30
Thanks sis, I can feel the squeezes x
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Oct 20, 2015 @ 21:42:40
😘😘😘
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Oct 20, 2015 @ 20:23:03
I can hear the sadness in your words. So sorry for your loss, Ritu.
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Oct 20, 2015 @ 21:12:26
Thank you
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Oct 20, 2015 @ 20:14:59
So sorry.
x
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Oct 20, 2015 @ 20:15:56
Thank you
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