My husband’s brother’s wife’s uncle!

I’ve treated myself to a bit of a cultural education this week.

Now I’ve always known that in Punjabi, we have specific names for different relations, so, with one word we can convey exactly how someone is related to us, more or less.
In English, if I said Aunty, you would need to ask how, so I’d have to explain she’s my mother’s sister, or mothers brothers wife, etc. why use do many words, when just one can convey so much?

I thought I’d give you all a lesson in Punjabi relation names!

Your nuclear family
Mataji/Maaji – mother
Pitaji/Papaji – father
Veerji/bhraji – brother
Bhenji/Didi – sister
Pati – husband
Patni – wife
Soura – father in law
Saas – mother in law
Jijaji – sister’s husband
Bhabiji – brother’s wife

Let’s go one step further
Nanaji – Maternal grandfather
Naniji – Maternal grandmother
Dadaji/Babaji – Paternal grandfather
Dadiji/Bibiji- Paternal grandfather

So,then there is
Pota – grandson, son’s son
Poti – grand daughter, son’s daughter
Dota – grandson, daughter’s son
Doti – grand daughter, daughter’s daughter

A step further? Ok,
Par Nanaji – maternal great grandfather
Par Nanaji – maternal great grandmother
Par Dadaji – paternal great grandfather
Par Dadiji – paternal great grandmother

Which needs
Parota – great grandson
Paroti – great granddaughter

Uncles and aunts? Yup, heck I’m just getting started!!
Tayaji – paternal uncle, Father’s older brother
Taiyji – paternal aunt, father’s older brother’s wife
Chachaji – paternal uncle, father’s younger brother
Chachiji – paternal aunt, father’s younger brother’s wife
Bhuaji – paternal aunt, father’s sister
Phupherji – paternal uncle, father’s sister’s husband
Mamaji – maternal uncle, mother’s brother
Mamiji – maternal aunt, mother’s brother’s wife
Masiji – maternal aunt, mother’s sister
Maserji – maternal uncle, mother’s sister’s husband

Then you need nephews and nieces!
Bhatija – nephew, brother’s son
Bhatiji – niece, brother’s daughter
Bhanja – nephew, sister’s son
Bhanji – niece, sister’s daughter

Cool? Confused yet? No? Ok, more!!!
Jeth – husband’s older brother
Jethani – husband’s older brother’s wife
Deor/devar – husband’s younger brother
Darani/de rani – husband’s younger brother’s wife
Nanaan – husband’s sister
Nandoya – husband’s sister’s husband
Saala – wife’s brother
Salehaar – wife’s brother’s wife
Saali – wife’s sister
Sadu – wife’s sister’s husband


Now, I already knew most of these. I’ve grown up with them, and apart from one or two which I checked with my mother in law (MIL) I was quite impressed with myself! Then she opened a whole other can of worms! There were more differentiated names ??!! Really? I thought that was plenty! Oh no, there are different names for your husband’s family too! Plus she didn’t know all of them, but if I learned something new, I’ll share with you too!

Dadora – husband’s paternal grandgather
Dadez – husband’s paternal grandmother
Nanora – husband’s maternal grandfather
Nanez – husband’s maternal grandmother
Malora – husband’s maternal uncle
Mamez – husband’s maternal uncle’s wife

That’s all she knew, and she offered to find out more, but by the. My head was buzzing!!!! I know some of you will think, OMG!! I’ll stick to uncle, aunt, cousin etc… But isn’t it great that with one word I can tell you so much about that person and their connection to me? Granted it doesn’t always trip off the tongue. I have to think and double check, but I love it! One day my children will fully understand it too… I hope!!

I love my culture!!
P.S. Did I miss anything??

My Sorrow Cup Overflows…


I had a sad day yesterday.  Some of you may have noticed, from my Haiku post.  Since Sunday, when I drove back from my parents, I kept on seeing one magpie.  There are so many of them around, but only one at a time came into my vision.  If you know the rhyme, you know what the sighting of one single magpie is said signify, if you aren’t familiar, read more here. I thought maybe it was because we were saying bye to my brother and his family, or because we were heading home, and I was leaving my parents, but there was a bigger reason, which I found out yesterday. And feeling the sadness I still am, seeing a single Magpie again today just emphasised my sorrow.IMG_1427

It is always awful to lose a loved one, let alone two.  Even if you know the news is coming, and you prepare yourself, it is never an easy bit of news to digest.  I wrote about saying Goodbye before.

This is what I was faced with yesterday.

Our weekend had gone swimmingly, but there had been a shadow hanging over that too.

My oldest first cousin was in hospital.  She had suffered a massive heart attack 10 days previously.  After various procedures, she had emergency open heart surgery, after which she hadn’t gained consciousness. She wasn’t responding.  The odds were on the machine being switched off were very high.

We prayed that she was ok, that she would hang on, take a turn for the better even.  It was a special prayers, especially for my Finndian nephew, on Saturday. A time of joy and thanksgiving. And the fear was ever present that something could happen before, or even during the ceremony. But it didn’t. God, and my cousin were with us on that score.

On Sunday, a decision was made, that indeed, they couldn’t keep her hanging, and on Monday, once all the immediate family were gathered, her inner light was to be dimmed. The machine keeping her alive was to be switched off.

So with this bit of information, I went to work with a heavy heart yesterday.  I knew that I would receive a sorrow filled message from Pops at some point in the day.

And at 7.45am, as I was chatting to a colleague about our weekends, my phone beeped.  It was Pops. I read the words, several times over.  What I was reading was not computing.  I was expecting to read about a certain person, but instead Pops was announcing the passing of another family member.  My Great aunt.  My mother’s last surviving aunt.

Tears pooled in my eyes and began to drop. It wasn’t just the fact that we had lost a very special lady, but that I had not been expecting that news today. She was old, and yes, her time to go had been imminent for the last 4 years, but I was prepared for another bit of news, not about my dear old Great Aunt.

I just about made it through the day, checking my phone regularly, but I didn’t get the message about my cousin until after 4pm. She slipped away peacefully with all her family around her.

Two more stars graced the skies as of yesterday.  And they will be bright ones.  Both women were extremely colourful characters.  I am almost glad I didn’t see them in hospital, as they had become mere shells of themselves. I have memories of these larger than life women, who had opinions, and shared them, who fought for causes dear to their hearts, who loved us all dearly.

I spent the evening sobbing, then composing myself, only to feel tears on my cheeks again. The waiting, stress, and tension had given me a migraine too. My work were wonderful, and I had the day off today to compose myself, and make all those essential, but very tough phone calls.  Neither of these precious souls lived close to me, so shall have to time getting over there to pay my condolences.

But I have come to accept what happened.  It’s never easy.

My only fear… they say things come in threes. I may need to accidentally on purpose go and break my favourite cup, or something.  I couldn’t cope with any more bad news,

But I Smile Anyway...

Happy Birthday to Me!!!!

If you’ve been reading this blog long enough, you know that yup, it was coming up to one of my biggie birthdays!

And finally it’s here!

I’m not scared of growing older, I’m a firm believer that age ain’t nothing but a number, and every year I grow older, it’s another reason to be thankful!

So… Thankful… Maybe I should think of 40 reasons to be thankful, and grateful, for this special day!

  1. I must start this list with my husband. My soul mate, the one who has put up with me, and accepted me for the loon that I am, I love you so much hunny, thank you for being there for me all this time! 😍
  2. The two miracles in my life, my children. Thank you for making me smile, more than you’ve made me mad! I can’t believe that I am a mother to two such darling souls! 😘
  3. My parents, wonderful role models who have given me the best start in life. Love you to the moon and back Pops and Mum!
  4. My brother, sister in law and nephew. Life is hard with no support, and I have been extremely lucky with the siblings that I was graced with. Yes, we’ve been through the argumentative ‘I hate you’ phase, but as adults, there’s nothing we wouldn’t do for each other!
  5. Great in-laws. They have loved me and made me feel more like a daughter than a daughter in law, and for that I will always be thankful.
  6. My best friends… There are a select few of you who I will cherish for ever, I have many acquaintances, but those friends who know everything, who are there for you no matter what, I’ll always be thankful for them!
  7. Sonu Singh, my kitty. I never thought I’d get a pet, but now we have him, I wouldn’t change a thing! He has helps to teach the kids about responsibility, and is such a cutie, I’m so glad he’s in our lives!
  8. All the rest of my family, near and dear, and those watching down on us. Each of you has affected me in some way to make me who I am today. I miss not seeing you all regularly, but you are never forgotten.
  9. A roof over our heads.
  10. A licence so I can drive.
  11. A car so I can get around, and take my kids where they need to go, effortlessly, and also so that I can see my parents whenever I want.
  12. A job I love so I may come home tired, but I feel satisfied!
  13. The opportunities I have had to travel, through family and school to India, Kenya, America, Spain, Canada, Finland and Russia, among other places.
  14. My education. Private school, which my parents paid for, and university, where I learned a lot about life, as well as how to teach.
  15. My health. Ok, soI have hayfever, and I have PCOS, and my back aches… But I can still do everything and experience so much around me.
  16. My opinion, and freedom of speech. Thankfully we live in a country where women are not oppressed, and even in our family, I am not scared. I am confident that I can speak my mind and that my opinion counts.
  17. Good neighbours. I have learned over the years that if you have good neighbours, you should count yourself lucky, and make sure you appreciate them… Bad neighbours can make your life a living hell.
  18. Being able to read and write. It’s even been a therapy of sorts in my past.
  19. My curly hair! Believe me I wasn’t thankful before, but the years, and a mature head on my shoulders (yeah right!) had made me realise that curls ain’t bad!
  20. In the same vein, I’m eternally thankful for straighteners, when I want a change!!!
  21. Curves… Because I’m a woman, right not a broomstick!
  22. Being a British born Indian with Kenyan roots! The colour that has brought into my life, I could never have bought that cultural background, it’s just there in me, and inspires me day after day.
  23. The love of books that my mother instilled in me and I’m thankful that my children have also learned to love books too!
  24. Disney!! Just because! Disney films have made me smile when I was down, and taught lessons that I needed to learn at times…
  25. Music. I’m thankful I can hear, so I can listen to the amazing music out there. It keeps my soul uplifted, but can echo my feelings too.
  26. My bed. I know we get midnight visitors ‘n’ all, but at least I have one!!!
  27. My sense of humour. I’d be crying half the time if I didn’t have one!
  28. Chocolate! It had been my saviour in many times of stress… And has also helped my waist to disappear!
  29. Moisturiser! Yup. I am thankful for cream! My skin is so badly dry that if I didn’t have creams, my legs would look like a pair of snakes, with all that scaly skin!!
  30. Ice packs. Seriously! You know how clumsy I am!!!! Ice packs have been very important to me… Or frozen peas!!
  31. The Internet. Wow, how it has revolutionised our lives! I use it so much, not just for mindless social media, as hubby thinks, but for work ideas, recipes, keeping the kids busy, discounts…!
  32. My garden. As little as I actually do in my garden, it is an oasis of calm, and we are lucky to have the sized garden that we have, in this part of the country, so I’m definitely thankful for that!
  33. Fans. Electric fans. Hand fans. Yes, I really am! I am naturally a very hot person (thanks to mum for that gene!) and on a usual hot day, I melt. In fact it takes a few people in a room, and a bit of dancing for me to look like I just ran a mile… Makeup and me, though we are aquaintances, we’re not best mates, on a daily basis, because it just slips of my face!
  34. My skin – quite a big one, but I’ve been lucky to not have the angst of teenage skin, and acne. Yes I get the odd spot, sometimes a huge one, but again not something I had to worry about on a daily basis. That’s my mum’s ‘wash your face and use Oil of Olay’ routine. It works!!!
  35. Positivity. A lesson my parents taught me early on in life, and it’s served me well. I’m thankful that I learned how to see the positive in any situation. It’s a hard one to learn. I know it’s the easier route to think negative sometimes, but if you look hard enough, there is always that silver lining!!
  36. Enough. I’m thankful I have enough. I have enough to live, enough to survive, enough to exist happily. More, we think is better, but why not be happy with enough? At least that leaves more out there for others to fill their ‘enough’ quota!
  37. My memory. I am thankful I still have memories, little scenes to play back in my head, to remind me of great times past. And to remind me of things to come!
  38. I’m thankful for all the little things. If you don’t learn to appreciate the little things that come about in your life, the big things really have no meaning.
  39. My Blogily. Little did I know that 10 months ago, that little blog I started, just for fun, would become such a huge part of my life! All of you, my Peeps, my on -line family, have become an integral part of my day, and I’m thankful for the way we interact, and how you can bring a smile to my face! And I’m also thankful that in certain times, I have been able to help some of you! 😘 But this last two weeks especially, you Peeps have been amazing! I made a little request to hit a milestone, and you all went above and beyond, and I have now hit my dream target of 1000 followers, and gone over it too!
  40. God. Of course I’m thankful to Him, without him, I wouldn’t be here, able to appreciate all the above things I’m thankful for!

There is plenty more I am grateful for, but these are just a few things.

Now, enough of being serious! 

It’s my birthday!!!!! Wherever you are, have a drink on me this evening!!!

And you can sympathise with me too… I’m spending the main part of my 40th birthday, back at work for the first day of term, on training, learning how to teach phonics!

See, this girl knows how to party!!!!!!!

Have a wondrous day Peeps!!!

A Little a Request

Hi there Peeps!

Hope you are gearing up for a great weekend!

I have a little request, just wanna see if something can be done….

It’s my biggie birthday (40! Eeeeek!) soon, in a couple of weeks, and I was thinking to myself how great a present it would be to hit 1000 followers on WP by then… (I’m a couple away from 900 at the moment…)

This is where you, my lovely Peeps, come in.  

Could you share/re blog this post, and see how many new followers I can get, and see whether I can hit that target? 

(But only if you wanna!)

Foor those contemplating hitting that ‘Follow’ button, let me tell you a bit about me… I’m a mum, wife, daughter, teacher…. Heck I’m a woman!

My mission in life is to keep smiling, and to hopefully bring smiles to your life too.

I like to post about all sorts of things, you’ll find anecdotes, quotes, my thoughts and opinions, fiction and poetry, recipes and my beloved kitty Sonu.

 I’ve had feedback that it’s a good ride to be on… Would you like to join us?

Thank you Peeps!

Big love!


Men, Women and Children



Have you heard of this film?

I haven’t but don’t be surprised, I seem to wallow in classics, and kids movies most of the time so I miss great new releases and catch them up when they are deemed classic!

Anyway, back to the review in hand. I was browsing the Sky Plus On Demand service and this was on so I thought why not, and I am glad I did.

A film revolving around the online world, social media, gaming and technology and RL (real life).

It showed the amount of interaction people had via devices, rather than face to face, and how you could go from being innocent, and think you’re helping, to being controlling, and losing your child’s respect.

There was a mum who wanted to be an actress, but never did, who took over her child’s ambitions, and set up a seemingly innocent website of her girl, which ended up getting exploited, and the big message there was that whatever you put online is there forever, you might shut down an account or site, but all it takes is one download onto someone else’s device for something you posted to come back to you…

There was the mum who was so overprotective that, though she let her child use the various social media sites, and a mobile, she had the whole set tracked, and she would ‘clean’ her girl’s activity daily… a tad over the top… but I can understand to an extent why she felt the need…

And her daughter who was fed up of being spied on by her mum…

Then you had the boy who lost all interest in RL and gave up a successful football career to start gaming, and his interactions and thoughts became dark…

The girl who looked to the Thinspiration sites to lose weight so she could attract the popular boy…

The couple who were in a stale relationship, and they both found pleasure via an online route, that became very much real..

Then their son, who from a young age was so used to looking at porn, that when the time came for him to actually put his knowledge into practice, couldn’t do anything as his over exposure to inappropriate sexual content had retarded his ability to react normally to a girl of his own age.

It all made me think… it really made me think about my children, and what they see, or what they might see/do on the internet, when they are given more freedom.  I guess to some extent we are lucky.  As parents in this day and age, we probably are more au fait with what is on the net, and how things work, but when we were younger, our parents probably wouldn’t have had a clue.

It is our responsibility to educate our kids as to what is right and wrong, what is appropriate or inappropriate, and also to get their trust so they don’t feel we are snooping, but that they are able to happily come to us with questions, and to check whether things are actually ok.

My children are young, but they are growing up. I have a 10 year old who, at the moment, still thinks girls smell, but that wont last for long, he’ll be in secondary school before you know it, and exposed to all sorts that we can’t control, so it’s up to us to make sure he understands what is ok, and  what isn’t.

I do recommend watching it, it will make the cogs in your mind turn a little harder, and probably make you wonder what your kids are watching/doing/who they are talking to straight away!

But I Smile Anyway...

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