#SoCS Feb. 25/17 – How

Linda’s #SoCS prompt this week…

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is: “how.” Start your post with the word “How.” Bonus points if you end with it too. Enjoy!

I am attending my dear cousin’s funeral today… The following #SoCS entry is for him.

How will we get through today
When goodbye is the word we have to say?
Why did you have to leave us so?
Who told you it was your time to go?
What should we feel, sorrow or gladness
That you suffered little, but left us with this madness?
Where will you go, some place peaceful now?
I guess that you’ll let us know, somehow

Ritu 2017

RIP Manjit Virji

Peace be with your beautiful soul 😢

Sadness #Loveuary day 17.1

I know it’s the month of love.

Love is there whether someone is  with you or not. It may be distance that keeps you apart. It may be something more… like death.

Just because a soul departs from this world, it doesn’t mean that we stop loving them.

This morning I was greeted by the news that one of my cousin brothers had passed away. He was a gentle soul, a wonderful person. A supportive father and loving grandad.

He’s been holding on by a string for a few days… but he slipped away this morning.

I’m hurting. I’m sad. But I’m not crying. He wouldn’t have wanted that.  My memories of him will live in my mind until it’s my time to go. The stories I tell of him will ensure he lives on in my children too.

I may feel down, but thinking of him will always bring a smile on my face.

Loss – a Tanka

The sadness grows deep
You left a gap hard to fill
Sleep tight big brother
Our love for you will remain
Though you walk with us no more

Ritu 2017


Day 3 #Loveuary❤ – The Apples Of My Eyes, My Children


I can’t speak of love in any way without talking about my two children.

The love we have for our children is unconditional. We created these tiny beings, they are ours to nurture and mould. Little reminders of us.

But it’s not always easy to become a parent.

No matter how good a parent all profess you’ll be, it’s not always that simple. I spent my younger years dreaming of getting married and having children. After all, that was how it happened, wasn’t it?

After a year of marriage we decided to start trying for a family.

It became two years of heartache, as I discovered that I suffered from PCOS (Polycystic Ovaries) The teasing of missed periods, which were nothing more than my ovaries taunting me, others falling pregnant with apparent ease, babies all around me, it was not easy.

But with a little help, we were finally blessed with one miracle. The second followed three years later, but after the devastating loss of two little angels.

My children are now 11 and 8 respectively, and, though they can be trying as kids have a tendency to be, they truly are the apples of our eyes. Not one day goes by where I don’t thank God for bringing these little bundles of joy into our lives.

I do have those moments, when they are trying my patience, that I wonder whether I actually like them, but love… that love I feel for them is incomparable to anything else in the world!

I will probably write more deeply about each of my children at a later stage, but for now I’ll leave you with a poem I penned a couple of years ago. It was previously posted on my blog, and has since been published in my poetry book, Poetic RITUals, too❤

From Twinkle To Reality

Let me take you down that road,
Much travelled through eternity
The journey to become a mum,
From twinkle to reality.

The plans you make at a young age,
Full of gurgles and laughter,
The horror as you realise,
What really does come after!

The fun of trying,
The monthly wait.
The disappointment,
That feeling, you hate…

The years of trying,
Full of hospitals and checks,
The medication taking you over,
You feel like total wrecks…

Then finally, the day comes
That positive is clear
The goal that you were aiming for,
Has suddenly come near.

The months of fascination,
Your changing body grows
The feeling of satisfaction
That only you can know.

Those pain-filled days, or hours
To reach the prize you sought
The feeling of satisfaction
That this little bundle brought.

I gaze at you in wonder
Are you really here?
I’m overwhelmed with happines
And a tiny bit of fear.

Will I be able to give to you
All you want and need?
As you look at me, wide eyed
Snuggled close while you feed.

Little blessing, sent from God
My heart is filled with joy
I will do all I can for you,
My darling baby boy.

And so the cycle continues
The waits and checks again
We’re gifted with a gorgeous girl
After a little more pain.

My life is here with me right now
Some twinkles from my eyes.
But I’ll never forget those twinkles
That now, do grace the skies…

Dedicated to my wonderful children, recognising the struggles to have them, and remembering my 2 angels lighting the sky at night.

By Ritu


Remember, feel free to take part in #Loveuary! Just ping back to the daily post, as in this one for today! And if you are at a loss for a prompt, then visit my rules post here for a list of prompt suggestions!

Thursday Thought

2 days… Just two more days… You can do it Ritu!

Then a week off from the craziness of school!

I’ll still be planning, of that you can be sure, but hopefully I won’t need to be popping in at all to school.

And though I was hoping for pure relaxation, and no plans, we have dentist appointments, and the possibility of the funerals of my two family members who passed away.

Oh and what I said about everything coming in threes. … We did hear of another death in the family, the day after. It wasn’t anyone as close, relation-wise, but my cousin’s father in law… So hopefully we won’t hear anything else negative now.

I could sure do with a shower of positivity right now… But all I’m getting is real showers, and rain! Thanks Mother Nature!

Have a good day Peeps, may you all have a positive day! I’m off to tackle another day of craziness in the nursery!

My Sorrow Cup Overflows…


I had a sad day yesterday.  Some of you may have noticed, from my Haiku post.  Since Sunday, when I drove back from my parents, I kept on seeing one magpie.  There are so many of them around, but only one at a time came into my vision.  If you know the rhyme, you know what the sighting of one single magpie is said signify, if you aren’t familiar, read more here. I thought maybe it was because we were saying bye to my brother and his family, or because we were heading home, and I was leaving my parents, but there was a bigger reason, which I found out yesterday. And feeling the sadness I still am, seeing a single Magpie again today just emphasised my sorrow.IMG_1427

It is always awful to lose a loved one, let alone two.  Even if you know the news is coming, and you prepare yourself, it is never an easy bit of news to digest.  I wrote about saying Goodbye before.

This is what I was faced with yesterday.

Our weekend had gone swimmingly, but there had been a shadow hanging over that too.

My oldest first cousin was in hospital.  She had suffered a massive heart attack 10 days previously.  After various procedures, she had emergency open heart surgery, after which she hadn’t gained consciousness. She wasn’t responding.  The odds were on the machine being switched off were very high.

We prayed that she was ok, that she would hang on, take a turn for the better even.  It was a special prayers, especially for my Finndian nephew, on Saturday. A time of joy and thanksgiving. And the fear was ever present that something could happen before, or even during the ceremony. But it didn’t. God, and my cousin were with us on that score.

On Sunday, a decision was made, that indeed, they couldn’t keep her hanging, and on Monday, once all the immediate family were gathered, her inner light was to be dimmed. The machine keeping her alive was to be switched off.

So with this bit of information, I went to work with a heavy heart yesterday.  I knew that I would receive a sorrow filled message from Pops at some point in the day.

And at 7.45am, as I was chatting to a colleague about our weekends, my phone beeped.  It was Pops. I read the words, several times over.  What I was reading was not computing.  I was expecting to read about a certain person, but instead Pops was announcing the passing of another family member.  My Great aunt.  My mother’s last surviving aunt.

Tears pooled in my eyes and began to drop. It wasn’t just the fact that we had lost a very special lady, but that I had not been expecting that news today. She was old, and yes, her time to go had been imminent for the last 4 years, but I was prepared for another bit of news, not about my dear old Great Aunt.

I just about made it through the day, checking my phone regularly, but I didn’t get the message about my cousin until after 4pm. She slipped away peacefully with all her family around her.

Two more stars graced the skies as of yesterday.  And they will be bright ones.  Both women were extremely colourful characters.  I am almost glad I didn’t see them in hospital, as they had become mere shells of themselves. I have memories of these larger than life women, who had opinions, and shared them, who fought for causes dear to their hearts, who loved us all dearly.

I spent the evening sobbing, then composing myself, only to feel tears on my cheeks again. The waiting, stress, and tension had given me a migraine too. My work were wonderful, and I had the day off today to compose myself, and make all those essential, but very tough phone calls.  Neither of these precious souls lived close to me, so shall have to time getting over there to pay my condolences.

But I have come to accept what happened.  It’s never easy.

My only fear… they say things come in threes. I may need to accidentally on purpose go and break my favourite cup, or something.  I couldn’t cope with any more bad news,

But I Smile Anyway...

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