Support Matters #BloggersBash

It’s not easy being the partner/spouse/family member of a blogger and writer.

I can only imagine what Hubby Dearest and my kids think I am doing, as I sit, reading posts, and laughing to myself, thinking, before feverishly writing comments…

The constant checking my notifications to reply to my Blog Peeps must be so annoying…

Me needing quiet as I write…

Wondering when I am going to bed, as I toy with words on a screen for what seems like forever…

Worrying if I may turn their latest silly comment into a blog post…

Hoping that I might stop soon, to feed them…

But knowing they got my back… Priceless.

The kids have been wonderful, you know, the last couple of weeks, as I finished my WIP. They even listened to snippets, giving me support and encouragement along the way.

Hubby Dearest is a quieter supporter; he lets me get on with things, and is pleased for me when things go well, but doesn’t always really know what I am doing!

But this year he is giving me some extra special support, by accompanying me to the Annual Bloggers Bash! I wanted him to come last year too, so he could meet some of the folks I try to talk about, but it didn’t happen.

This year, he decided that he would do it. Be there for me as I debut as a speaker (more on that below), and cheer me along at the awards too… (again, see below 😉 )

It’s quite a big thing, you know. I’ve been to several events with him over the last 20 years, as his plus one, for company parties. But this is the first time he’s going to be my plus one! (So to speak!)

We’ll try and book somewhere nice for the night, so I don’t have to rush off like a budget Cinderella at 6pm , to catch my train! and share more drinks and chats with my Blogily!

More on the post title about support

Just in case you didn’t know, I’ve been nominated for the Best Overall Blogger 2018 award at the Annual Bloggers bash. I haven’t gone on about it TOO much (yet) because my WIP drained my attention and energy, but I am back!

Best-Overall-Badge 2018

I shall, shamelessly, ask for your support, to think about voting for me… but there are some other AWESOME blogs I am up against…

Nominees: 
Retirement Reflections,
Daddy And Dad,
Jenny in Neverland,
Life, Books, and More…,
I’m A Writer, Yes, I Am!,
Me and My Books,
Gin & Lemonade,
Linda’s Book Bag,
A Brummie Home and Abroad,
But I Smile Anyway…,
Smorgasbord-Variety is the Spice of Life,
Sue Vincent’s Daily Echo,
 I’m Sick and So Are You

Please check them out, then click here to be directed to the voting post (to vote for me, obviously!)

There are eight other awards that are open for votes too, and believe me, some very deserving blogs on those lists too! Do vote in each category, it is so easy, simply select and click vote! Done!

But you can ONLY VOTE ONCE, so think carefully before voting!

The votes close at the end of April, so make sure you don’t forget!

VOTE HERE!

And, if you hadn’t heard, I am even giving a talk (eek!) sharing

…my top tips from a working mother on how to keep your blog running smoothly and giving it plenty of attention without abandoning your family and real life too!

Your support in not throwing eggs or rotten fruit if you are there would be much appreciated… and hopefully I don’t put you to sleep! (I’ve worked really hard on the handout too!)

Click here for more information about the Guest Speakers for the day!

There will even be a panel discussion too, which is always so informative.

And there just might be some cake involved too…..

Those were my creations last year!

Are you coming to the Bash? Let me know in the comments, I’m excited to know which new blog pals I will get to meet this year, and catch up with my old Blog Buddies too!

If not, why not? Click here to get your tickets! 

Best-Overall-e1519401734212

Understanding Teenagers #weveallbeenthere

Sometimes, the need to write about something comes from different sources.

This time, I feel the need to talk/write about something that I got involved in on a Facebook conversation with a group focussing on local news.

As you know, since I have blogged about it twice already, we have been hit by The Beast from the East, a cold-weather system from the Syberian area, resulting in snow, and extreme cold winds.

This has meant that as our UK infrastructure is not used to these extreme conditions, the whole country grinds to a halt.

(Discussing why a few inches of snow causes so much chaos in a first world country is an issue for another post!)

Grinding to a halt means, hazardous driving conditions, so people find it hard to get to work, and if there aren’t enough adults at school to supervise pupils, that means no school for the kids.

Yesterday, and today, the majority of, if not all, schools in the area were/are closed for this very reason.

As much as it inconveniences parents, as they have to arrange childcare, it impacts upon the staff in school too. We have lessons planned, assessments, and all sorts of things that have to be fitted into a school year, and a few days away can play havoc with what we need to get done. (Sorry, veering off topic again – another post, maybe?)

As kids were at home, they enjoyed the snow. The little ones with their families in gardens and parks, the older ones, hanging out, causing their own mischief.

One large group of teens thought it would be a great idea to stand at the bottom of a hill where there is a main road junction, and throw snowballs at the moving traffic, which I must add would have been moving slowly and hazardously as it was.

And not only that.

They were wrenching doors of cars open, and the boots, when the cars stopped and throwing snow into the vehicles.

Someone on this Facebook group thought to warn folks of these ‘hooligans’, urging drivers to be aware and to approach the junction with caution.

The comments were colourful, ranging from concern for the drivers, to how they would ‘accidentally’ veer into the culprits, and even as extreme as threats to physically harm the kids responsible.

There were calls for their parents to be called up, and accusations that people don’t know how to bring up children if they go out acting in this way.

Equally, there were those saying, ‘kids will be kids’. We don’t see much snow here so they are just a little over-excited.

One woman posted that it’s not the parents’ fault, but the school, and their teachers who should have been teaching the kids right from wrong…

Red rag? Bull?

I actually controlled myself and entered into a rather interesting exchange with her.

You know what I think about the fact there are a lot of parents out there who don’t send their children to school with the right kind of social skills at a younger age.

As these kids get older, they definitely need more guidance, but there is an element of common sense that should have evolved too, by 15.

This woman mentioned that not everyone has parents to guide them. Not only did she know a couple of the children involved, but she herself was from a family background where there wasn’t the support to help her. She had been in trouble in the past, and as she grew up, she didn’t find that person to confide in. In fact, it took her becoming a parent herself, and her autistic son’s loving attitude to her, that made her realise that she needed to change herself. She mentioned that one or two of those children didn’t have parents, and one was dealing with the loss of a parent too,

Her point, which got twisted up by many others who waded into the conversation, was that at this tender age, during those teenage years, kids who rebel often need that outside person who is willing to push them, until they are ready to talk about issue, and then help guide them, as they really don’t have someone in their home life who is able to do that.

It made me think.

I have been lucky in life. I have always had a lot of support, understanding parents and family, and I hope this has coloured the way I am as a person, parent and teacher too.

But not everyone has that luxury.

Time is such a precious commodity nowadays, and given the present economic climate, you find that many parents are out at work all hours of the day, trying to provide for their families. This means there is less time to be spent with their kids, talking to them, interacting with them, and as they get older, really being able to find out how they are feeling, or if something is worrying them.

Equally, kids are privy to so much more information via Social Media as they get older. Believe me, I have first-hand experience with this one, as I have a nearly teen son at Secondary school and a ten-year-old who thinks she is sixteen!

They feel the need to act in certain ways, as it appears the rest of the world (or their favourite YouTubers) do the same.

And sometimes their wild behaviour is actually a mask over something much deeper, more sinister even. There are kids out there who may be being abused, neglected, unloved, and their way of dealing with it is to act up.

I don’t condone the actions of those kids at the bottom of the hill yesterday, and apparently today. They had the police called out on them yesterday, and it didn’t stop them. But maybe there is something more to their actions.

Maybe they really need that understanding person to fight on their behalf… and to dig a little deeper into the why, then support them through the how, until they are able to do the do themselves.

It’s worth a little thought Peeps. Thinking about why people act the way they do before complaining or condoning. And that goes for folks of all ages really, not just teens.

Anniversary Musings

16 years ago, I finally became a Mrs.

It was a beautiful day, albeit a little cold, being November!

A year of frantic planning, which had followed a beautiful four-year romance, during which we made the choice to be together forever ♥

We did the whole shebang, full on traditional craziness, from all the colourful customs, like the Maaiyaan (turmeric ceremony) and the Chura (Bangle ceremony), to some more modern, personal ones like a fancy dress night – well my family did anyway!

And the day itself was magical.

The beautician turned me into a princess, and my prince was there waiting for me at the Gurdwara, ready to take our vows in front of the Guru Granth Sahib Ji, and our loved ones.

We had a beautiful ceremony, followed by a fun-filled reception (I even had a bubble machine for the kids – and me!)

The Doli (leaving ceremony) was emotional, where it really hit home that I was leaving my parents, but after a heart-wrenching set of goodbyes, we finally set off on the journey that would take me to my new home.

And here we sit, 16 years on.

Happily together, with our own home, two crazed tweens, a furbaby and two feathered ones too!!

My Hubby Dearest has been my rock for the last 20 years, to be honest, and every day my love and respect grows for him a little more. He’s put up with my craziness over the years – and there is still plenty of that to come! He lovingly calls me ‘#Hashtag-Valiye’ – Hashtag Girl, basically, having had to share me with this blog, and all the social media that comes with it for the last few years.

I can truly say that I would not want to spend my life with anyone else but him.

Hubby Dearest- Happy Anniversary my darling, I love you more each day, thank you for being who you are, and for accepting me for who I am. Thank you for gifting me with our two children. Thank you for your never-ending support, and belief in me and my capabilities. My wish is that we are together forever, writing new chapters of our life together as we gain wrinkles and memories ♥

Image may contain: one or more people, people standing, wedding and indoor

Our First Dance

And so today we are off to celebrate our 16th Wedding Anniversary – sans children or pets – with a weekend away!

Beneath The Apple Blossom – Kate Frost #BookReview

Another week of the holidays done, another book read.

A while back (possibly even a year back), I read an interview with an author called Kate Frost. Her then newly released book, Beneath The Apple Blossom, looked to be something that would be of interest to me.

The Blurb:

Four women, linked by blood ties, friendship, betrayal, loss and hope, struggle with the choices they’ve made and the hand that life’s dealt them.

All Pippa’s ever wanted is marriage and kids, but at thirty-four and about to embark on IVF, her dream of having a family is far from certain. Her younger sister Georgie has the opposite problem, juggling her career, her lover, a young daughter and a husband who wants baby number two.

Pippa’s best friend Sienna has a successful career in the film world, and despite her boyfriend pressurising her to settle down, a baby is the last thing she wants. Happily married Connie shares the trauma of fertility treatment with Pippa, but underestimates the impact being unable to conceive will have on her and her marriage.

As their lives collide in a way they could never have predicted, will any of them get to see their hopes realised?

As I read it I was amazed at how emotional it made me feel. I remembered the time when we were struggling. The anacronyms like 2ww and BFN and BFP flooded back, as I remembered the wonderful forum I had joined when we were struggling with conceiving, and after, for the support of others in the same situation.

It’s true though, not every woman wants to be a mother. And not everyone can make a good one either.

But the pain that accidental pregnancies can cause to others, I’ve experienced that too, while we were in the midst of our own journey. Hearing about someone talking about a baby that wasn’t expected or wanted, was like a knife being plunged into my womb, and twisted. Yes

Yes.

It felt that extreme.

Yet when there were others who were expecting, and it was a much longed for baby, I was overjoyed for the parents-to-be.

Deep down I knew that one day, our turn would come. And it did, twice, with two angel babies in between.

Beneath the Apple Blossom: The Hopeful Years Book 1 by [Frost, Kate]

My rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

My reviews on Amazon and Goodreads:

What a great book!
Having been through fertility struggles of my own, it was amazing how I related to a lot of the issues faced by 2 of the main characters in this book.
It’s very true, that as much as some women crave to be mothers, there are those that really don’t feel it’s for them, and this book explored both sides of the same coin.
The realistic writing brought back some painful memories for me, but also that sense of camaraderie that I too felt in a very special online forum that I had also joined while trying to conceive.

Buy it on Amazon here.

Thoughtful Tuesday

 

Image from Facebook

Always remember to be as much of a support to those who have been your crutch at some point or another… 

Previous Older Entries

My interactive peeps!

Peeps are reading in…

Flag Counter
The Bryntin Project

'Project' might infer more planning than actually takes place

Mint Tea and Elephants

Beach bum impersonating a writer.

Unseen beauty

A blind blogger's thoughts on beauty products, wellness, food and travel

Bear's Photos

Mostly North Cornwall Photography

Chi's Secret Diary

Diary of a not so young woman

Fightmsdaily

Living life with a chronic illness is definitely not easy. But I do my best to push through all the barriers this illness puts in front of me! In my heart and mind, I believe maintaining a positive outlook on all situations in life will carry us through to much better times! I hope you find the information that I provide both helpful and inspirational!

Rust Belt Girl

reading and writing the Rust Belt

Therapy Bits

Living life with dissociative identity disorder and complex ptsd

WordDreams...

Jacqui Murray's

%d bloggers like this: