Spidey’s Serene Sunday – Part 237 – Me

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The things that make me different are the things that make me.

Winnie The Pooh

Gotta love a bit of Pooh Tao, thanks Spidey!

Go on, hands up. Who is guilty of thinking they need to be ‘like’ others to be accepted?

Thinking a certain way, wearing particular clothes, listening to the ‘in’ music, watching the films everyone is raving about… that kind of thing?

Why do we always want to be keeping up with the Joneses? Why can’t we just be ourselves, and why do you think the world won’t accept you as you are?

As a child I was always different from my school peers. There weren’t many Indian girls in my school. I was never singled out because of it, but where they were horseriding and having piano lessons at the weekends, I was going to family weddings and attempting to learn how to read and write my home language, Punjabi (I failed… can speak and understanding fluently, but the reading/writing? Nope!)

We grew up together and as the others were worrying about prospective boyfriends and dates for the ball we had at 15, then discussing the late night bars they began to frequent, and clubs, I was still there, enjoying the music they listened to, and joining in with their chats about crushes on teeny bopper pop idols, and our own real life crushes, but I was also still busy every weekend with my family (it’s huge, there are neverending lists of events and functions to attend, even now!)

It didn’t single me out in a negative way, my friends just knew I wouldn’t be turning up at the non uniform day in a miniskirt and cropped top, despite it being the fashion. I’d be wearing whatever sensible clothes my mum thought were best.

Because that was me. Ratty. Yes, that was my nickname at school. Not because I was bad tempered or anything, but because my full first name is Ratinder, and we watched The Wind In The Willows one day and the character Ratty came up… and so I was christened. One of my oldest school friends still calls me Ratty, over thirty years later!

As I hit university, I admit, I went through the whole fitting in thing. I wore the clothes everyone else did, went to all the clubs, drank all the drinks, and skipped the lectures… but it took me a while to realise that that wasn’t really me.

In all honesty, it took me a good twenty more years to find ‘me’.

Yes I was always, and will always be Ritu the Daughter, Ritu the Sister, Ritu the Wife, Ritu the Daughter-in-Law, Ritu the Mother, Ritu the Colleague, Ritu the Uni friend, Ratty the school mate.

But I no longer conform to what others may expect. I will wear what I want and feel comfortable in. I will eat what I fancy. I will go where I feel a pull to attend, not be forced to go to events that are a drain on my soul. I will laugh. I will cry. I will write. I will read. I will do everything that I enjoy. That makes me, me.

I won’t be a stereotype.

I will be me.

So… tell me, when did you realise it is okay to be YOU?

Have a peaceful Sunday Peeps  And enjoy your week! ❤ 

Spidey’s Serene Sunday – Part 233 – Parenting

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“If you have never been hated by your child, you have never been a parent.”

Bette Davis

Thanks Spidey, for that.

Bette Davis, I hear ya sister!

I can tell my household is filled with teen and tweenage hormones.

The angst clouding the atmosphere can sometimes be so thick, I need my own knife to cut it, just so I can get around my house.

And over the last few weeks, I have had “I Hate You!” thrown at me so many times, it is unbelieveable!

Truthfully, I don’t hear it much from the older one.

He’s a little more subtle, with his brooding stares of death, and retreating to the garden to work off frustrations in the garden, whacking cricket balls around, or taking part in lengthy battles on Tekken 7, battering poor unsuspecting characters to submission on screen.

Once he’s done that, any moods disperse, and he’ll be quite calm again.

But the other one. OMG.

Maybe it’s because she’s the female of the species – though I don’t recall ever being this moody at her age!

But, seriously. WOW!

All it takes is saying “Can you change please?” or “Time for a shower.”

Yeah fine, sometimes I’m cramping her style, not allowing her to express herself through her interesting dress sense… butI need her to look decent, or respectable, at least.

But other times, all it takes is a “Good morning!” and the bedroom door is slammed shut in a huff. I’m left standing there thinking “Whaddidido?”

Last night, after insisting she went and showered, I heard the unmistakeable youth chant “Oh, I HATE you!” as she slammed the door again – the bathroom one this time.

“I know,” I replied cheerily, and went off to my room to read.

The life of a parent, eh.

Two hours earlier she was sitting on my lap, posing for Snapchat selfies with the Mum she hates.

I do love her hate!

So, how long does this stage last, anyone? She’s 11…

So… tell me, which stage of parenthood are you going through right now?

Have a peaceful Sunday Peeps  And enjoy your week! ❤ 

Spidey’s Serene Sunday – Part 232 –

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“Ohana means family. Family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten.”

Lilo & Stitch

Thanks Spidey for reminding me of that Lilo and Stitch quote.

I used to have a talking Stitch toy (yes, I admit it was before I had kids, and I was an adult, but then, I am a Disney fan, so it was mine!) and it would say a few different phrases from the film, in response to you saying things to it, and the above quote was said a lot.

I was reminded of the quote yesterday, after attending a family function back home in Brum.

Some folk I met there are family members who I hadn’t seen for five years or longer. It’s an unfortunate situation, but I live a bit further out than most, and when there are gatherings, they tend to be in the term time, and on a day where I just cannot get there in time, or if I arrived, I’d have to leave pretty much straight away, to get home at a decent time.

But instead of silly comments, or moods, I was welcomed back into the fold with open arms. Some asking about my writing, as they follow my progress on Social Media; some wanting to know how Hubby Dearest was; some jsut wanting to catch up.

It was a great feeling.

One of my aunts said “Tu toh Eid ka chand hi niklai.” It is a saying to describe someone who is rarely seen, and much anticipated, as during the month of Ramadan, and at Eid, Muslims wait, eagerly for the moon (chand) to show, before breaking fasts or starting celebrations.

That made me feel special, but also highlighted to me how little I get to see my extended family. Some of these folk, I saw weekly, growing up, and now it is after years that we meet.

I miss seeing my extended family a lot. They are a huge part of my upbringing, and my memories.

But at least I know I’m not forgotten… and I’ll never forget them either!

So… tell me, which member of your extended family do you have special connections with, and will never forget?

Have a peaceful Sunday Peeps  And enjoy your week! ❤ 

Spidey’s Serene Sunday – Part 231 – Dreams

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If you’re tired, learn to rest, not quit.

Anon

Yes, indeed.

Thanks for that Spidey.

I think he’s trying to remind me that it is my holidays and I need to rest up as well as getting things ready for next year!

So I shall take the advice of the quote above, and not overdo things the next few days.

It is rest time.

I’ll try not to pop into school any more (though I can’t promise!) I’ll lie in, in the mornings, and try and edit a little every day.

Well, that’s the plan.

You never know what life has in store for you!

So… tell me, do you know when it’s time to step back and rest?

Have a peaceful Sunday Peeps  And enjoy your week! ❤ 

Spidey’s Serene Sunday – Part 230 – Dreams

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“All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them.”

Walt Disney

Well thank you very much Spidey, for finding something so apt for me today.

There are many dreams I have in life, and for the first time in a while there appears to be a chance for two big ones to finally be realised, but not without a lot of hard work on my part, and support from all those around me.

The first is my work dream. I have finally, after a good few years, got my own class and own classroom. Yes I have been teaching for a while now, but I have always been part of a partner teach team, so there has been someone else there with me, usually already established in that classroom, and the last 3 years I have been split in two at school, being a partner teacher in two classes so I have been pulled from one side to the other, trying to make my mark, educate children, and keep my sanity in tact.

From September though, I finally have my own home! I am in the throes of visiting school over the first week of the holidays, to set up my room, as I want it to be, putting up displays, creating a reading corner that I hope the children will love, and generally making the place a room I would want to come to every day as a child.

I’m also nervous, as the future of these children, their learning for the next year, and any progress they make, will be 100% on my head. Adding to the mix is the possibility of 3, maybe 4 of my intake having Special Educational needs, and some parents not quite on board with the thought…. that will be an interesting one!

Still, excited am I! Wish me luck!

The next dream that is within reach, is that of my writing.

Two years ago, I decided that I would create my own NaNo month, #RiNoWriMo, which prompted me to really go for getting my WIP in a decent shape, and it really helped me to have myself focussed on writing.

I have decided that this August, I shall have another dedicated month, do something.

#RiNoEdMo

Ritu’s Novel Editing Month!

So, I have decided that in August, I might forfeit my time taking part in blog challenges, and concentrate on working on my editor’s notes, rewriting, tweaking and getting this WIP into a place of readiness for possible publication!

That is an exciting thought!

And though I haven’t fully made up my mind as to what I want to do, I have even got a prospective cover commissioned, if I decide to self-publish, or go Indie!

Wish me even more luck!!!

So… tell me, which dream of yours are you ready to realise?

Have a peaceful Sunday Peeps  And enjoy your week! ❤ 

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