Friday Funnies – Trying To Keep Writers Block At Bay! #SundayBlogShare

It’s one of those days.
I’ve been writing, and my mind came to a halt.
Then I thought what better than to browse the internet whilst munching on my rather late breakfast.

And I found some funny writer memes on Google that I just had to share!

writer meme 5

I think I have been doing that to myself, to be honest, enforcing word count targets on myself every day. My furry muse, however cute, just wants me to stroke him!

writer meme 1

Not pale either…. and I think I eat more as I create… Substitute the coffee for tea, and that may just be me!

writer meme 2

Though I have been pretty good, there have been mornings that I have felt have gone just like that!

'I'm still working on my novel. In the meantime, and this is between you and me, I make ends meet by writing all those cat memes you see on Facebook.'

I found a gif maker… trying really hard to keep myself away from it whilst I am meant to be writing!

writer meme 7

This just made me giggle!

writer meme 4

I’d like to think I’m going to be the ‘Ray of Sunshine’, probably more likely that I’m a Space Cadet though!

writer meme 3

And with that, I must get back to writing, need to try and tap out another 1,000  today, lr I’ll be shooting myself, like that first meme…!

So for any of you Peeps in my position, writing your first draft, good luck, and if you needed a giggle, I hope you got one!

I’ll be back on Monday with my week 3 update!

#RiNoWriMo

#RiNoWriMo!

What the heck is a Vagina Facial????!!!! #ThrowbackThursday

* I apologise in advance, it’s a bit crude, but was sooooo funny, I had to share this anecdote from today! If you are a very prim and proper person and don’t like to talk about sex, genitalia, and the like, click off now!

So there I was, innocently eating my lunch and browsing my Facebook news page.  I nearly choked as I read one post about my friend also discussing her gladness at having already eaten before being introduced to this subject.

Apparently a 74-year-old was on daytime TV discussing having a ‘Vagina Facial’ to please her 30-year-old lover!

Vagina facial… conjures up many images….

I couldn’t help it, at the staff room lunch table I asked, “What the heck is a Vagina Facial??!!”  There were plenty of flabbergasted faces, lots of ‘What on earth are you saying?’, ‘Say that again?’.

I googled it, and apparently its a new surgery for mature ladies for their, ahem, ‘lady gardens’, to counteract sagging and dryness!

Ok so that was kinda what I assumed it was going to be, but really? A Vagina Facial??!!

There’s always one who states the obvious, “Oh, thank God for that! You said facial and I had all sorts of weird ideas!  What, does a woman lay down and have someone else ‘rubbing themselves’ across her face??!!”

“Nah, that’s called being a lesbian!” piped up someone else.

Around the table, there was pure hysterics, and the staff sitting in the other area looked over, intrigued, but almost too scared to ask what the giggles were about!

So, what followed this was a whole crude discussion about what it could have been, and what it was.  I left at this stage, I had a class to bring in after lunch!

But, seriously, who on earth thought the name ‘Vagina Facial’ was a good idea in the first place??!! Vagi-lift, maybe, Tight-ina, Vagi-cial… anything but associating the face with ‘down below’ for a beauty treatment!

Honestly, I am still having disturbing images of what it could have been!

And, at 74, hats of to the woman! I hope her 30-year-old lover appreciated her ‘facial’!!!!

Are You A Blogging Addict? Take this 15 Question Quiz To Find Out!

Once you enter the Blogisphere, it is easy to get totally sucked in.

Are you someone who has become a fixed member of a blog addicts group, or do you set yourself limits so you still exist within the real world?

Don’t think too much, take my quiz and all will be revealed!

1. When you wake up in the morning,
  1. You stretch, check the time, want to go back to sleep, but haul yourself out of bed to get ready for the day
  2. You grab your phone to check your notifications/stats on your blog.
2. Before leaving work,
  1. You make sure your lunch is packed, have a shower, eat breakfast and head off to work
  2. You ensure all the above is done so you can sit and check all your social media channels, peruse your reader, answer comments eloquently, and maybe even bang out a post (or two!), and ensure all is published or scheduled for later.
3. When you get to work,
  1. You check, then switch your phone to silent, and put it away until your break/lunchtime.
  2. You check your notifications, your reader and maybe your stats, and try to leave your silenced phone somewhere accessible, in case of blogging emergency
4. At break/lunchtime,
  1. You make a cuppa and have a little chat with your colleagues/Eat lunch and maybe take a glance at your notifications
  2. You grab a drink, any drink/your lunch box and feverishly check out your reader and emails, not wanting to miss any post, and answer notifications, whilst trying to keep up with the conversations around the room.
5. After work,
  1. You thank goodness you’ve finish and leave work to go for a drink, or get home to put your feel up before making/ordering dinner.
  2. You quickly scroll through your reader (again! It’s amazing how many people out there post while you are at work!) and get yourself up to date with all notifications. Then go home.
6. Through the evening,
  1. You may find time to peruse your reader, or emails, and answer notifications, if you have the time. You might even leisurely write a post. If family need you you willingly relinquish your phone/tablet/PC and go and tend to their needs.
  2. You are happy that you can keep up with the reader in real time, and make sure your inbox is empty at all time! If someone dares to call you outside of designated times, you attempt to ignore them, then stomp off in their direction, deal with whatever issue they have, then get back to your reader ASAP!
7. At bedtime,
  1. You may read a book or watch a film, and snuggle down to sleep
  2. You do the above, but intermittently check your phone for any new posts and notifications. You may feel the need to compose a post, inspired by the happenings of the day.
8. At other times,
  1. You notice funny things around/shocking things and take a little time to digest them.
  2. The same as above but you get your phone or camera out to get photographic evidence, and quickly type up a note, or grab any piece of paper, or a notebook and write yourself a memo… This could be great blogger fodder!
9. When you check your stats and there is a dip,
  1. You think “Oh well…” and carry on with life
  2. You think the world has started to hate your blog, and you think what to do… change your theme? Change your niche? Change your style of writing? You may do all of the above!
10. When the stats show an upwards tilt,
  1. You smile happily to yourself, and continue with your day
  2. You smile broadly, and share said post with the entire world, because it has to be worth it, right?!
11. You look at your Facebook friends,
  1. And you have a great mix of old and new friends and family, peppered with a few online friends
  2. You can hand on heart say that you have not met half of them, but you know many better than your own family… because they are all part of your Blogily!
12. When faced with a choice and a little free time,
  1. You would rather reach for a book or meet a friend
  2. You want the book, but the phone or tablet beckons because you can sit and read posts!
13. When you are introducing yourself to someone,
  1. You use your proper name and shake hands
  2. You use your Gravatar handle and your blog name rolls off your tongue, before you realise you meant to say your name!
14. If you wake in the middle of the night,
  1. You have a quick drink of water, check the time and go back to sleep
  2. You think about turning over and going back to sleep, but instead you sneak a look at your phone. If your partner is knocked out, you check your notifications again. If they are stirring, you begrudgingly put your phone back, and try and sleep.
15. In the morning,
  1. You start the day all over again, as usual… cuppa, shower, breakfast, work
  2. You start the day all over again, as usual… checking your phone, notifications… oh crikey! Work!

The results…

Mostly 1’s – Congratulations! You have managed to find a balance between blogging and your real life!

Mostly 2’s – Shall I send you the form for the Bloggers Addicts Anonymous group?

(All tongue in cheek, you all know I am a true Blog Addict!)

 

One-Liner Wednesday – Hump Day – #1linerWeds

If I wish Hubby Dearest “Happy Hump Day”, will he get happy for all the wrong reasons?!

For Linda’s One Liner Wednesday challenge.

 

 

Woeful Wednesday!

When you get all comfy
Sat down on the loo
And realise that the loo roll’s gone
Blimey! What to do!

Or, soaking in the shower
You reach for your favourite gel
Squeeze, but nothing comes out…
They’ve finished that as well!

Reaching in the caddy
To make a cup of tea
But, alas, no teabags
Seriously?!

Empty boxes of chocolates
Pringle tubes with just one left
All these empties in my house
I really feel bereft!

Is it honestly so hard
To refill all these things?
Or at least tell me to replenish
When I go shopping?

I am not a mind reader
And I’m not the only one
Who has the capability
To put the bog roll back on

Drinks, lightbulbs, petrol
And so much other stuff
When left spent, or empty
It leaves me in a huff!

I’m sorry for the whining
Please say I’m not alone
It just really get my wick
I need to have a moan!

Ritu 2017

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