Friday heralds another fiction challenge by Ronovan, and I am really enjoying the twists and turns that he is taking us through! Check it out here
Prompt for Challenge #10
FIRST OF ALL: Please remember, this is NOT a race. Take your time. Friday is only a part of the title, not a deadline.
January 22, which is Friday’s date, is Celebration of Life Day.
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Take a moment in your life of which you would celebrate and use that as inspiration for a no more than 750 word story, but don’t let that stop you if you are enjoying yourself and the story is going well. (SUGGESTED)
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If you are not doing a series, write the story as if the characters were animals living in the roles of humans. An example would be the policemen might be German Shepherds and other Police type dogs. (REQUIRED if not in the middle of writing a series.) OR
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Use the same experience for a story in one of the following Genres: Science Fiction, Fantasy, Thriller. (Required if not using the above.)
My moment of choice is that of childbirth, and becoming a mother. A moment I had longed for so much, as I had struggled to conceive. And I tell my story as a cat… (Which other animal could I use? Sonu Singh would be far too disappointed in me, if I chose otherwise! Here goes!
Surprise Birth
“Meoooooowwww!”
The pain seared through my abdomen, and I didn’t know what to do. There was no one there to help me. None of my two-leggers were around. Usually, there was always at least one of them fussing around me, especially recently, but today, no one.
Well, no one apart from him. Did you know about him? Tom? Tom Cat.
He’s the reason I was in so much pain right now, and there he was, nonchalantly lounging on the windowsill! I spied an occasional disinterested glance in my direction. He knew I was suffering, but when we managed to lock eyes, he’d look away, and stare out of the window.It was not good. I hadn’t felt anything like this ever!
Another wave of pain. I padded over to the special bed that my two-leggers had made especially for me. Soft, cosy, inviting… but just not for me right now. All I wanted to do was pace around. It felt like it had been forever that I had been getting these little pains.
“Meeeeoooow!”
Something was happening, and I needed to go lie down. I don’t know why, but the urge to lay down was so extreme that I just crawled under my two-leggers bed, and settled myself in between all the different bags and boxes that had been shoved under there.
All of a sudden, my body gave the urge to push, and I knew that my two-leggers would be sad with me… I was so good, I never had accidents. I was a clean girl. I didn’t ever miss my litter tray, or kick the litter about. Not like ‘him’ over there!
I looked to see whether I could clear the mess I had made, and what I saw made me stop and stare in wonder… There was a little sac, and my urge was to break it. Something pushed me to do it, and when I did, this teeny little ball of fluff was revealed… a tiny kitty, just like Tom, only much, much smaller…
I licked and cleaned him, and cuddled him, and it dawned on me.
This was like when my two-leggers had to disappear once, and when they came back, there was this strange little basket, and it kept on making a huge noise. On inspection, I found a little bald creature, laying on its back, arms flaying and wailing, worse than Tom Cat’s singing! My she two-legger picked this creature up, and held it to me, and said it was Courtney, our new baby… And when I looked, at her, and gave her a sniff, she seemed just like my two-leggers…
As time had passed, this Courtney also started moving about. Like me to start with, she used to chase me, grab my tail, cuddle me rather vigorously, then slowly she started to do what the two-leggers did, and she too began to move in that odd way, like my two-leggers did… Strange creatures!
I looked down at this little thing in front of me and realised that I too had a Courtney. Just then, I felt like I needed to go again, and within a short while, there was another sac, another little furry bundle…
It felt like ages before my two-leggers came home, and I could hear them calling for me, but it was impossible to move. A while ago, Tom Cat had appeared, and was watching from the side of the bed… the urge to push had stopped now, but in front of me, lay 5 little Courtneys. And they had all come from me!
“Purrrrrlease, can I come and take a look?” Tom Cat purred… “It is time to see my offspring too.” And he sauntered over to sniff my Courtneys.
“Hissssss! Step away! They are mine!!!” I made him step back in surprise. No one was coming near my Courtneys!
“Look, Tom is over here, in our room!” my lady two-legger Megan said, as she entered the room, and she knelt down. It was like Tom Cat had told them where I was, and she gently knelt down to look under the bed. Her face lit up when she saw my little bundles, and she quietly slipped away to the door “Jack, the kittens have come!”
My man two-legger, Jack, came in and looked under the bed too. “Oh yes, they have definitely arrived! Well done KittyKat!” he whispered.
I looked again at these little bundles, snuffling into my chest, seeking the swollen teats that were hidden in my fur. No one was taking these babies away from me…
There you have it!
All feedback gratefully received!
Nato
Jan 31, 2016 @ 13:36:16
Oh, love it. Fun read!
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Ritu
Jan 31, 2016 @ 16:21:47
Thanks! ☺
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PrairieChat
Jan 30, 2016 @ 10:51:25
I had fun reading your tale.
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Ritu
Jan 30, 2016 @ 11:40:02
Thank you 😊
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neelwritesblog
Jan 29, 2016 @ 07:41:50
I really enjoyed your story. The point of view and the characterisolation are very good.
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Ritu
Jan 29, 2016 @ 07:54:27
Thank you Neel!
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Ronovan
Jan 29, 2016 @ 00:45:17
Loved the story. The only thing was the passive sentence structure involved. Not overly done and honestly, being it was from the viewpoint of a cat I think it is fine and works. 🙂 If I were you I might be saving these in a word document, all in one word document, and editing now. You might have a nice collection of short stories down the line.
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Ritu
Jan 29, 2016 @ 07:52:47
Wow really Ron? Do you think so? I do save most if my function, as I write them in weird first anyway.
Thank you ! 😊
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Ronovan
Jan 29, 2016 @ 07:53:33
I think writing them in ‘weird’ first is probably a good idea.
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Ritu
Jan 29, 2016 @ 07:55:38
Ha ha lol!!!
Well you do wonder where my imagination goes…. So it stands to reason, the tools I use will be out of the ordinary!!!
Weird, indeed!! 😂😂
You know what I mean!!!
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Hugh's Views and News
Jan 24, 2016 @ 15:40:33
That’s a great piece of writing and fiction, Ritu. You told it really well and it was certainly entertaining. The only thing I would give you advice to do is to spilt the paragraphs up. That way it makes the story far more easier on the eye.
Now, I want a kitten!
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Ritu
Jan 24, 2016 @ 16:00:37
😊 lol! Thanks for the advice, I’ll be sure to follow. Do you think it needs the existing paragraphs split into smaller ones, or just an extra line space inbetween the existing ones? 😊
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Hugh's Views and News
Jan 24, 2016 @ 16:44:16
In my humble opinion (and I’m no expert in this field) I think just the extra line space between the ones you already have.
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Ritu
Jan 24, 2016 @ 16:55:05
Cool beans, noted fine Sir!
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Erika Kind
Jan 23, 2016 @ 14:54:33
OMG, is that a wonderful and cute story. You did fantastic with telling it from a cat’s view. But you simply are fantastic, Sis! 😘
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Ritu
Jan 23, 2016 @ 16:22:16
Thank you sis! I wasn’t sure if it flowed correctly, but I am glad you liked it!
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Erika Kind
Jan 23, 2016 @ 17:56:42
You have that skill to completely see the story through the eyes of the character you are writing about. That is why you are so compassionate in real life. You can see through the eyes of the other person!
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Ritu
Jan 23, 2016 @ 21:09:31
That is so sweet of you to day sis! 😘😘 thank you 😊
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Erika Kind
Jan 23, 2016 @ 22:22:30
It’s the truth 😘💖
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Ritu
Jan 23, 2016 @ 22:29:39
😘😘😘
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KL Caley
Jan 23, 2016 @ 14:25:57
Lovely story Ritu! Poor little thing and that naughty TomCat! Well done. 🙂
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Ritu
Jan 23, 2016 @ 16:21:08
Thank you! Glad you liked it! It was kinda hard, to place myself in a cat’s position, but as a human, becoming a mother was indeed one of my greatest moments of celebration in my life 🙂
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Judy Martin
Jan 23, 2016 @ 13:57:55
This was a lovely story Ritu. I love it that you told it from a cat’s point of view. Naughty old Tom being so aloof to Kitty’s pain yet wanting to see his offspring when they were born!
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Ritu
Jan 23, 2016 @ 14:03:07
Thanks Judy!
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TanGental
Jan 23, 2016 @ 09:22:46
I enjoyed the indifferent Tom. Very realistic. Of cats I should add. Why Courtney? Did I miss the reason?
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Ritu
Jan 23, 2016 @ 09:38:45
Thanks Geoffles! Courtney was just her was of thinking of her little ones, as her two-leggers also has a baby, who was called Courtney… She didn’t know they were called kittens. Or babies. So they were her Courtneys!!
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TanGental
Jan 23, 2016 @ 12:50:58
Aha ha; I thought I’d missed something. Twas a lovely story well told. Now I want to hear what Tom says when he meets his mates in the pub…!
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Ritu
Jan 23, 2016 @ 13:09:32
Lol!! I could do a follow up, i guess lol!!!
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Fourth Generation Farmgirl
Jan 23, 2016 @ 01:02:49
I loved this, Ritu! Wonderful! 🙂
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Ritu
Jan 23, 2016 @ 09:10:44
Thank you Tonya 😊
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oneta hayes
Jan 23, 2016 @ 00:57:32
This is so sweet. You did an outstanding job of making me live the life of mother cat for a bit. Oh, the marvel of birth!
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Ritu
Jan 23, 2016 @ 01:01:07
Aw thanl you! I’m so glad you enjoyed it!
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