There are days and times in life when you feel you can’t go on.
Times you think that nothing you do can make life better.
I have been through periods like that several times in my years, and look at me. I’m still here. I didn’t give up. It didn’t kill me. It made me stronger.
Some problems are just there, and there isn’t much we can do. It may be the way a person behaves or how a situation is affecting you. These reasons are often beyond our control.
One of the things that I found really helped me was to write.
I’m not talking about creative writing. That is one of my passions, yes, and it can really calm me, but it doesn’t take the stress or problem away.
So, how can you address them?
Write a letter.
But it doesn’t have to go anywhere.
When I was at university, there where huge issues within my family. I was helpless, but watching folk raising Hell, and others close to me crumbling under the pressure. Not just them, it was affecting me too.
So I wrote a letter. A long letter. I poured all my feelings out onto paper. All my hurt, all my confusion came gushing out. Things I didn’t want to burden my parents with, as they were already stressed enough. Words I wanted to use but would never be able to really say to the person this letter was directed at.
And then I put it in an envelope, sealed it and filed it away.
Did it make the problems go away?
No.
But it really helped me cope. I felt unburdened by the stress and worry that had been eating away at me. I knew it was still there, but the fact I had rid myself of it once, meant I was better able to cope with the reality as it progressed.
And the other day I did the same. This time my fingers danced over the keyboard, as my worries about a certain situation I am currently in now, appeared on the screen in front of me.
This time, I was determined to deliver this ‘letter’ to the person it was directed at though. In fact that was my original intention. I even printed it out.
But I remembered the cathartic effect of writing away your problems and as I wrote, the situation that was feeling overly stressful, started to seem not so bad.
It’s still sat in my bag actually.
I may still, if I’m brave enough, decide to try and broach the subjects that came up within the letter with the person involved. This time it’s not about a behaviour, but a situation, where I see solutions glaring me in the face, and yet those in charge are not seeing them.
But then again, I might not.
Because I may rock the boat a little too much. Still, at least I feel like I’ve got my ‘rant’ out of my system now!
So, if you feel stressed or unhappy about anything, try writing a letter to get it out of your system. You don’t have to send it anywhere, it is purely for you and your well being.
Honestly, it helps!
But I Smile Anyway... 
Oct 08, 2017 @ 12:37:38
Great advice…I am going to write that letter!! Rather than churning it over in my head! thank you
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Oct 08, 2017 @ 14:58:44
It will help … truly!
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Oct 08, 2017 @ 11:42:10
I’ve been doing this for years on and off. Yes, it helps enormously! I burn them if they’re not suitable for prying eyes. (which is 99% of the time)
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Oct 08, 2017 @ 11:45:25
Good thing Gloria! But at least all the emotion s are out of our system, allowing you to focus on other things!
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Oct 08, 2017 @ 11:05:16
I wrote a good letter once to relieve stress – a resignation one. It was pretty short but included a thinly-veiled attack on working practices, probably one of the best things I’ve written!
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Oct 08, 2017 @ 11:07:35
Did it help you? 🙂
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Oct 08, 2017 @ 11:27:49
Very much so. I’d agonised over it for ages and was much happier after I’d printed it out and handed it over
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Oct 08, 2017 @ 11:28:57
Yeah, I did that on Friday (not a resignation letter!) but it made me feel lighter, having got my feelings out and over to the person in question!
In the past however they have been letters that I would never send, but they made me feel better by venting!
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Oct 08, 2017 @ 10:10:04
So true Ritu. Self therapy right there! X
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Oct 08, 2017 @ 11:06:25
It truly is!
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Oct 08, 2017 @ 02:07:09
Yes, it does!
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Oct 08, 2017 @ 07:55:14
😁
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Oct 07, 2017 @ 23:48:02
I always feel writing something down helps to thrash out a situation….whether that is delivered as a letter or just filed away. Your pics always make me smile, Ritu!
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Oct 08, 2017 @ 00:05:12
Thank you Claire!
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Oct 07, 2017 @ 17:39:04
I’ve never written a letter, but I certainly feel writing is therapeutic. Great post, Ritu. It reinforces what I already knew! 😉
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Oct 07, 2017 @ 17:41:05
Thanks Lisa! Sometimes a letter is great to release or t up frustrations directed at a specific person. 😊
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Oct 07, 2017 @ 17:42:55
I agree! I think it’s a great idea and I’ll use it in the future. 🙂
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Oct 07, 2017 @ 17:43:33
Hope it helps!!!
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Oct 07, 2017 @ 17:36:50
Hi Ritu 🙂 I read this post yesterday and it stuck with me quite a bit. Mainly because I hope you are alright. And secondly because, somewhere along the way, I forgot how to write letters, sent or unsent. I used to do it a lot, usually involving affairs of the heart. I think social media definitely got in the way!
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Oct 07, 2017 @ 17:40:00
Thanks Em. I’m good. Actually I shared what I wrote the other day as it was something I could and I feel even better!!!
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Oct 07, 2017 @ 17:43:48
You did?! Oh my…well, I’ll be back a bit later to read then! Glad you’re good sweetheart 🙂 x
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Oct 07, 2017 @ 17:52:57
Lol I mean I shared it with the person whom wrote it for… too sensitive for the blog lol!!! Xxx
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Oct 07, 2017 @ 17:57:28
Oohhh hahah, I see! Well, I hope you feel you made the right decision and that your feelings and thoughts were listened to. Mwah xxx
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Oct 07, 2017 @ 18:07:45
I’d like to think so!!!!
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Oct 07, 2017 @ 15:36:37
That’s exactly the reason people wrote diaries in old days! Now what do we have to rant? Social media….
which creates even more problems.
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Oct 07, 2017 @ 16:15:50
Because we don’t always know when to censor!
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Oct 07, 2017 @ 20:48:05
True
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Oct 07, 2017 @ 14:31:36
You are so right Ritu , I wrote out my feelings in poetry last year and early this . I did not know the person involved read my blog… I have learned a valuable lesson… It didn’t help me and it made matters worse. The posts are gone now private not to be seen again. Damage done lesson learnt. I am glad I had only spoke the truth and had said nothing nasty, bad or hurtful. I wrote to de-stress but it was a mistake. 💜💜 We live and learn Sis , don’t we 🌹🌹
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Oct 07, 2017 @ 15:02:16
Yes sis. This is why I write it and file it away!
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Oct 07, 2017 @ 17:27:31
Wise woman🌹🌹🌹
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Oct 07, 2017 @ 13:06:50
Totally agree with writing stuff down. I often do a spider diagram of everything that’s in my head, feels so much better when it’s out and on paper!
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Oct 07, 2017 @ 13:35:21
It’s amazing how much a pen or paper helps!
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Oct 07, 2017 @ 12:27:44
Totally agree. That is why they often say don’t hit the send button right away if you are emailing someone about a situation until you walk away and come back maybe calmer.
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Oct 07, 2017 @ 12:54:48
100%!!!
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Oct 07, 2017 @ 12:17:55
I had been considering a good old rant on my blog but in the end decided to keep it in my journal, where most of the ranty stuff lives first. Sometimes good ideas come out of the ranting though, a lot of my blog is my ranting in (thin and silly) disguise. 🙂
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Oct 07, 2017 @ 12:54:27
Yes you can edit some rants into great helpful posts!!! But as long as you don’t give too much away!
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Oct 07, 2017 @ 12:08:05
Yes feeling a bit stressed so I am going to use this. Thank you
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Oct 07, 2017 @ 12:52:21
It really helps Lucy!!! 😍
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Oct 07, 2017 @ 11:52:58
Hi Ritu
You are absolutely right about writing a letter and releaving the stress…I myself have tried many a times.
And yes one of your comments said some ramblings shouldn’t be publicised, I agree with that too. Such things 100% go in my digital or paper back dry.
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Oct 07, 2017 @ 12:51:11
Yup!!! We have to censor some things lol!
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Oct 07, 2017 @ 10:32:45
Oh yes! I’ve been there and done that. In fact, I’ve actually delivered ‘THE’ letter. Of course I had to save the original copy for myself – the one that said EVERYTHING I wanted to say. But, I did edit the letter and deliver the ‘toned-down’ version. And, it has made a significant difference in my family’s life. Now, I knew I was going to deliver this letter. It needed to be done, but I can see where writing a keeping a letter to one’s self would work just as well. Writing can truly reduce stress! Your post was spot on. 🙂
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Oct 07, 2017 @ 10:51:14
Mostly mine have been just for me, but my recent one actually was delivered!
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Oct 07, 2017 @ 10:23:46
I in my before the ‘Best’ happened would write poems and slide them between the pages of books that only I would read. Someone had to hear. It worked for me. X
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Oct 07, 2017 @ 10:50:37
It truly does help Ellen!
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Oct 07, 2017 @ 10:51:23
It did. X
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Oct 07, 2017 @ 10:18:12
I usually put my inane ramblings into my blog. And there are a lot of inane ramblings!
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Oct 07, 2017 @ 10:49:45
Oh don’t get me wrong, I have rambled inanely many times on my blog… but there are some things you just shouldn’t publicise…but the therapy you get from just writing it out of your system is so great!
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Oct 07, 2017 @ 09:59:19
Yes, yes and yes! I wholeheartedly agree with this! It’s helped me in the past & your post has inspired me to do it some more! Thanks Ritu (so glad to hear writing things out has helped you cope with your recent situation too) x
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Oct 07, 2017 @ 10:48:21
Thanks Hayley! It surely helped, and in fact, I showed the person in question what I wrote this time, as it wasn’t personal, but more of a suggestion, and that helped me too!
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Oct 07, 2017 @ 15:31:46
Oh that’s great Ritu. Go you! X
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Oct 07, 2017 @ 16:15:18
😉
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Oct 07, 2017 @ 09:58:09
I wrote a letter once too. I got into a disagreement with a ‘friend’ who sent me a rather nasty message over Facebook and then blocked me so I had no chance to reply and give my side of things. So, I type out a letter about my perspective and really allowed myself to ‘let rip’ and be totally angry at her, saying all the things I wanted to say. I kept it, added to it, edited it and then when I was ready I deleted it. It really enabled me to let go of the frustration and hurt I was feeling 😀
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Oct 07, 2017 @ 10:47:25
It really makes such a difference! Considering the person in question may never see the end result, the fact that you have ‘said’ what you want, really helps!
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Oct 07, 2017 @ 09:53:59
Love a good written rant…although too many people do post creating further stress to others.
Great tips.
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Oct 07, 2017 @ 10:46:39
Yes that can happen. I find I have been pretty good at not publicising my ‘rants’! And just getting out of my system helps so much!
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Oct 07, 2017 @ 09:50:11
Great advice for external processers, who need to talk or write our feelings to make sense of them!
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Oct 07, 2017 @ 10:45:59
It has helped me is many ways over the years!
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Oct 07, 2017 @ 05:42:28
I do the same, but i generally write my thoughts in email, save as draft.it helps a lot, and yes i feel million better than before!! 🙂
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Oct 07, 2017 @ 07:58:52
It’s out of your system then so it really helps!!!
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Oct 07, 2017 @ 04:57:47
Totally see why you are doing this and how it helps you. I think writing things down helps me clear my mind and have a better control over how I then bring things up, if I still feel I have to.
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Oct 07, 2017 @ 07:58:22
It definitely helps me!
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Oct 06, 2017 @ 20:23:24
Love this! You are so right about writing it out of your head. Since the physical assault in 2012 that left me with PTSD I have maintained that creativity saves lives and wrote a bleak, dark yet hopeful collection of poems that literally saved my life. Great piece, Ritu! You really have a fine way of always hitting the nail right on the head.
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Oct 06, 2017 @ 20:54:22
Thañk you so much Janni 😍 if I find something that helps I like to share xx
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Oct 06, 2017 @ 20:20:12
Totally why I blog xx I get this. Lovely piece.
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Oct 06, 2017 @ 20:53:36
Glad you get it Orla!
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Oct 06, 2017 @ 18:38:58
I definitely do!!!!
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Oct 06, 2017 @ 18:23:07
I love this and totally agree! I started writing and blogging because of my love of journaling as a little girl (and even occasionally as I got older), and it always, always helps me feel better.
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Oct 06, 2017 @ 18:37:16
It has truly been a life saver for me at times xxx
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Oct 06, 2017 @ 17:48:58
Great idea! I’m thinking my blog is sort of one big ole fat ‘letter’ — it gets a lot of stuff out of my system!
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Oct 06, 2017 @ 17:54:57
That can definitely help!
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Oct 06, 2017 @ 16:58:51
Writing is a liberating tool whether it is about scars, feelings of guilt, resentments, and also stress. We simply need to find a way to open our hands in order to stop holding on so strongly to those overwhelming feelings. Experiencing this more again in my job since the field requires a lot of responsibility and at the same time is so new to me. I found my tool just two days ago which detaches me from all requirements – my own ones and the ones from others. Another amazing breakthrough!
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Oct 06, 2017 @ 17:15:11
I’m glad you’ve found your breakthrough sis!
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Oct 06, 2017 @ 18:56:43
Thank you… like we all experience them over and over again. And for sure your tip helps because in writing we get deeper into the matter too and makes it rise to the surface in order to eventually let it go. Great post, sis 😘
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Oct 06, 2017 @ 18:58:26
It has really helped me sis x
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Oct 06, 2017 @ 19:53:31
Your personal cure!! Thank you for sharing. I am sure that many will be helped with your post, sis!
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Oct 06, 2017 @ 20:53:14
I do hope so sis xx
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Oct 06, 2017 @ 22:41:04
No doubt, sis 💖
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Oct 06, 2017 @ 16:43:03
I’ve done the same, written a letter that I have no intention of sending. It does help.
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Oct 06, 2017 @ 17:14:30
It helps lots!!!
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Oct 06, 2017 @ 16:27:09
I’ve heard of this method before…except in my case I wrote a book! One day it might even get published and methinks anyone that has read my writing on the blog will think “This is a bit unexpected!”
It does work though; if there is nowhere and nobody to vent to then bottling it all up just serves no purpose but to bring the mind tumbling down. #GaTu
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Oct 06, 2017 @ 17:14:19
100% works Gary!!! 😉 #GaTu
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Oct 06, 2017 @ 17:31:52
Very true, but maybe I shall keep the publishing of this one off my blog lol #GaTu
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Oct 06, 2017 @ 17:34:05
Lol!!!
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Oct 06, 2017 @ 16:14:20
This is such excellent advice, Ritu. I’ve also written letters that didn’t go anywhere. There’s definitely something therapeutic about expressing our emotions in writing. I actually read about a study that confirmed an increase in happiness as well as a decrease in stress in people who wrote about their challenging issues. Thanks for the reminder. Happy Friday! 🙂
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Oct 06, 2017 @ 17:13:37
Happy Friday Tonya!!!
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Oct 06, 2017 @ 17:32:48
Thanks, Ritu!
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Oct 06, 2017 @ 14:47:01
Truly helpful 🙂 I think that’s one of the reasons writers write. That purge and release. Great post.
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Oct 06, 2017 @ 15:48:47
It is indeed!!!
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Oct 06, 2017 @ 13:53:43
So true Ritu. People like us need to write to be sane
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Oct 06, 2017 @ 13:48:18
You’re so right about this one, Ritu. I’ve allowed my fingers to fly over the keyboard, almost without effort. I write letters to folks all the time, never send them. It is enough to purge the negativity from my own spirit. It works. Hope it did for you. (Save them on a personal drive…some day you’ll want to revisit ! )
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Oct 06, 2017 @ 15:48:11
It really helps!!!!
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Oct 06, 2017 @ 13:48:13
Great Advice Ritu. Will use it when required
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Oct 06, 2017 @ 15:47:52
It truly works!
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Oct 06, 2017 @ 11:33:22
Letter writing is definitely therapeutic, even if it never gets sent. 🙂
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Oct 06, 2017 @ 12:32:05
100%
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Oct 06, 2017 @ 10:56:05
I can certainly relate to this. Good post Ritu. Very Spidey. 😊
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Oct 06, 2017 @ 12:31:34
Thank you Chris!!!
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Oct 06, 2017 @ 10:40:59
My blog was started because I found that it helped me cope with depression. I tried to write positive and funny things as a kind of diversion to what was actually happening in my head.
When I did write a post about how I was actually feeling when I was going through a particularly bad time, it did not go down that well with some people and so now that post is private!
Next time I want to do that I will take your advice and writ a letter or a post that I do NOT publish!!!
Hope that everything sorts itself out for you Sis xxx
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Oct 06, 2017 @ 12:31:18
Thanks sis. It definitely helped!
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Oct 06, 2017 @ 08:48:25
It’s so true, Ritu! Writing is a great outlet to let whatever in your mind flow through your pen. When they are out, they can bother you anymore!
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Oct 06, 2017 @ 12:30:18
Definitely!
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Oct 06, 2017 @ 21:14:46
Yes, I’m glad you do so well with that!
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Oct 06, 2017 @ 08:26:20
I agree about therapeutic letter writing to anyone and everyone. There’s a lovely Ted Talk about a person who wrote love letters and left them for people to find in her city…
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Oct 06, 2017 @ 08:35:15
That is a sweet thing to do!
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Oct 06, 2017 @ 08:15:23
Reblogged this on Die Erste Eslarner Zeitung – Aus und über Eslarn, sowie die bayerisch-tschechische Region!.
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Oct 06, 2017 @ 07:54:55
I couldn’t agree more. I wrote something similar to this a while ago because like you I found writing really helps. If I’d fallen out with myself about something usually by half way through the post I was over it lol
So I whole heartedly endorse your post 🙂
Problem is, for the posts where I do rant I need to remember to turn off the contents, because once I’m over it, that’s like having to revisit it, if you know what I mean. I can’t explain that very well lol
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Oct 06, 2017 @ 08:07:06
Comments, not contents lol stupid fingers!
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Oct 06, 2017 @ 08:09:52
Lol!!!!! I wouldn’t post it…I think… but just write It!
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Oct 06, 2017 @ 08:15:36
If it was about someone I probably wouldn’t post it either to be fair. I usually fall out with myself lol
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Oct 06, 2017 @ 08:24:24
Lol!
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Oct 06, 2017 @ 07:52:44
It is a good idea to get away with our frustrations, Ritu 🙂
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Oct 06, 2017 @ 08:09:09
Definitely!!!
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Oct 06, 2017 @ 07:48:41
Good tip Ritu. I am sure it will work
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Oct 06, 2017 @ 08:08:44
It really does!
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Oct 06, 2017 @ 08:24:45
👍
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Oct 06, 2017 @ 07:38:43
Good advice. Sometimes simply expressing what you feel gets it out of your system. The situation isn’t resolved, but you no longer have to pour it out with a lot of negative emotion.
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Oct 06, 2017 @ 07:41:43
This is exactly how I felt the other day after writing my ‘letter’ April!
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Oct 06, 2017 @ 07:23:21
Very wise. I write a poem usually to get a rant out of my system. Sometimes, alas, I do share it on my blog, which is often embarrassing.
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Oct 06, 2017 @ 07:36:43
I have been known to do that too !!!
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Oct 06, 2017 @ 07:21:07
Writing is therapeutic. It can help you organize what you are feeling more than doing something physical.
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Oct 06, 2017 @ 07:36:15
Absolutely Tony, my friend! You may not be able to solve the world’s problems out, but if you feel better by trying to write it out, you will be in a better frame of mind to cope with life, at least!
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