Accident | But I Smile Anyway...

#SoCS Mar. 4/17 – Project

04 Mar 2017 31 Comments

by Ritu in Socs, Thoughts Opinions & Memories Tags: Accident, Blog, Blog Post, Blogger, Blogging, Linda G Hill, Positive Thinking, project, Socs

Linda’s #SoCS prompt for this week…

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is: “project.” Use it as a verb, a noun, or both. Have fun!

I think after the incident that happened to me last week give me a fair reason to be scared. A decent reason to feel like I shouldn’t do certain stuff again. A valid point made that cars can be dangerous.

But do I allow an isolated incident to colour my future?

After all, I am lucky enough to be here after the accident. Fortunate to be walking around and to still have a vehicle at my disposal.

Do I feel scared? Nervous? Panicky?

Yes.

Will I let these feelings dictate how I live my life?

No.

Yes, I do have fears. Flash backs occur at the slightest trigger, like when the wind was blowing. The thought of the car veering off the road, possibly because of a gust of wind panicked me so much? Driving by the site of the accident was surreal. Getting behind the wheel could have been really tough.

But no. I am not going to allow my fears to dictate my life. And I am not going to project those fears onto my children.

I made a choice, after the collision with a motorway central reservation barrier, that I would get back behind the wheel. I chose to try and get over the scene that runs through my mind several times a day, of my car spinning round and round into the oncoming traffic, so that the children don’t ever feel worried when in the car with me.

I need them to understand that accidents do happen, even to the most careful drivers. As someone said to me “That’s why they’re called ‘accidents’. You don’t plan them. If they were planned they would be called ‘on purposes’.”

I want them to be the kind of people who are able to get back on the horse after falling off, without fear.

I hope that they don’t think of incidents like this as a failure of sorts, but instead an opportunity to do better next time. We are learning all the time, and this accident was a learning curve for me too.

I guess when you think of it like this, it is all about the fixed vs. growth mindset thinking. I could shut down, convinced I would be in many more accidents, so that’s it. No cars or driving for me. Or I treat it like a lesson, and get back into that driving seat, take it easy, and keep going with life as I was before, thinking positively.

You see the way I react to incidents that occur in my life, project a kind of standard of reaction onto those around me. If I want the kids to be strong, resilient people, I need to be that too.

But equally, I need to makes sure I don’t overdo things too quickly too. I may be Supermum in their eyes but I am no Superwoman really. I need recovery time, and they need to see that, so they understand there are also times in life when it;s okay to take a step back, recuperate, then get on with living.

As long as I stay positive, I think I’ll project the right emotions, that will allow them to be able to handle situations like this in a positive manner too.

And there you have it… My Stream of Consciousness this morning, pure and unadulterated!

What Do You Feel Like After A Near Miss?

02 Mar 2017 94 Comments

by Ritu in Thoughts Opinions & Memories Tags: Accident, Aftermath, Blog, Blog Post, Blogger, Blogging, Feeling Guilty

It’s not been a week since I had my rather dramatic accident, and I am sat here at home feeling rather contemplative…

I came out of a written-off car and looked physically unscathed. In fact, other than a sore neck and the shakes (from the shock) I felt fine.

Still, I was advised by all who called/messaged/saw me, to rest up and take it easy.

I guess that was the obvious thing to do.

It’s hard to not feel almost like a phoney for being off work when it doesn’t look like you are unwell. Other than the fetching collar that I have to wear in the car when travelling, I guess I look pretty much normal. But the days that followed the accident showed me exactly how much I really needed to rest.

Day 1 – THE INCIDENT

After leaving the hospital, I was shaking… a lot. I felt tenderness in my neck and shoulders, but I was walking around and thought I was ok. A hot bath, turmeric milk courtesy of my Pops and Ibuprofen were the climax of a highly emotional 16 hours.

Day 2 – GETTING HOME

The A & E doctor was right to advise me to sleep with painkillers by my side. I woke with extreme pain in the neck and upper back. I stayed in bed most of the morning, ringing the insurance, and taking time to reflect on the goings on of the day before, writing my post to you all. After a shower, we ate lunch, I popped more pills and waited for Hubby Dearest to come and pick me up.

The drive home was weird. I wasn’t sure how I would feel, driving by the location of the accident. Would it panic me? Would I just not want to go there? Actually none of those. I pointed the exact spot to my Hubby Dearest, quite calmly, and was surprised to still see my bumper gracing the central reservation!

I was conscious that he had been driving for over 5 hours and offered to take the wheel… but he refused even though I assured him I wasn’t planning on writing off all the family cars!

Sleep came to me and when we arrived back, I was greeted with many gentle hugs from my children and in-laws.

Coming to our house, I tried to be as normal as possible, getting the children’s things together for school, then after they went to bed, had another hot bath then bed.

Day 3 – SEEING THE GP AND GETTING MY COURTESY CAR

I was up at the crack of dawn as usual. But I wasn’t going to work, obviously. The kids were pretty good, getting ready, and Hubby Dearest deposited them at school. My pains had moved around a bit now, to include the lower back and the chest and abdomen area where my belt would have tightened around me. Stiffness had set in a bit too. Hello, Painkillers!

The GP was horrified at the details of the accident, as was the lovely receptionist. He advised at least this week off, and gave me a prescription for stronger painkillers if need be, and that I should see how I feel come Monday. If need be, he would sign me off for longer. But in the meantime, I need to try and move around gently and only try light jobs around the house. Only if I was capable of these tasks, should I even try to think of going back to work.

Also, I needed to wait a few weeks to see whether I needed to be referred for any physiotherapy. Only time will tell.

We picked up my courtesy car too, a cute little Toyota! Hubby was weary of me driving it, but one thing I remember from after the accident was that one of the women who stopped and waited with me mentioned getting back behind the wheel sooner rather than later. She had been in an accident like this before and said that if she hadn’t driven straight away, she may have never driven again.

So I drove, slowly, back home. It was a short journey. I was a little nervous, but not scared. At least that was one battle overcome!

Another bath and an early night, accompanied by more drugs.

But not before the reality of what had happened to me really hit home. Getting short flashbacks of the accident, and thinking back to what could have happened, and just how lucky I was, caused the tears to flow. Hubby Dearest was, and is, my rock.

Day 4 – FEELING LIKE A PHONEY

I woke up on Tuesday and didn’t quite leap from bed, but felt a lot better. Getting the kids ready for school was a relative doddle, and Hubby Dearest dropped them off. Then the pains kicked in. The stiffness spread to my upper legs now too.

Ok, maybe I wasn’t quite right yet.

Another day on the sofa or in bed, watching films and reading. It wasn’t too bad, but I felt guilty being at home, rather than with my colleagues and class. But then, knowing that I could manage 30-40 minutes of gentle activity before feeling like cr@p, meant I couldn’t really be in charge of a class all day.

I went alone to pick the kids up from my in-laws in the evening, and I was okay.

I was concerned about how all this was affecting my children, so I asked them. Surprisingly, they were both fine. Children are more resilient than we think. “Mummy, when we heard about the accident, we were so worried, but when we spoke to you then we were fine, ” Lil Man said. “And seeing you the next day Mummy, we knew you were okay,” said Lil Princess.

The evening passed with no major incidents and was the first night I didn’t have a bath. I was tired, and the painkillers seemed to have helped the aches. Bedtime.

Day 5 – OVERDOING IT

I woke up to a lot of stiffness. Reminded Hubby Dearest to force me to have my bath tonight.

But I felt awake and full of ~~jumping~~ beans. Enough so that I volunteered to drop the kids to school. And that was fine too. There was no standing around involved, just them jumping out of the car. Came home and perched myself on the sofa, watching more films, reading, and scheduling posts. After lunch, a little sleep, and then I went to pick Lil Princess up. She finished late as she had a club so I figured that there wouldn’t be too many people around, and I would be saving my Father-in-law a journey too.

Maybe this was where I overestimated my body’s ability to cope.

I was ok there, but waiting for a while for her, I was feeling the cold more. A few colleagues saw me and rushed over to have a quick catch up. “What are you doing here?” was the main question, followed by “How are you?” and “What the heck happened?”.

Forty minutes later we got home, and I was feeling wiped out.

I was determined to get an early night after a hot bath.

But had to contend with a moody tween who was unable to perfect some stunt scooter move (?!) and a smaller tween fussing about her costume for World Book Day which was happening the next day.

The wave of tiredness caught up with me and at 10.30pm I woke up realising I was meant to be having a soak, not going to sleep! So I duly filled the tub and stepped in. It was relaxing but made me want to fall asleep. Then the wind started howling, and I couldn’t help but feel anxious. One possible cuplrit of the accident was the winds that had been blowing that day, and hearing them outside, I started to involuntarily relive the accident…

I got out as soon as I could and went straight to bed, firmly cuddled up to my Superhero hubby.

Day 6 – WIPEOUT

Oh my, where has my energy gone?

I woke up as usual early and had intended on getting Hubby Dearest to drop the kids off, but I decided I would go and pop into school to see my Head Teacher.

Today was the first day I felt that maybe it was going to take longer than a week to get fit enough for school, and I wanted to mention this to her personally.

My boss and colleagues are lovely and the people I met while there were so concerned, it was heart warming. I mentioned waiting until Monday before knowing what next week would hold to my Head, and she understood. I need to take care of my health first and foremost.

Coming home I sat down and felt like rubbish. I was/am drained today.

I didn’t even have the energy to hold my Kindle in my hand. I lay comatose on the sofa, watching a film, then turned over and went to sleep.

Lunch was followed by more sleeping.

And this is how my days have gone.

Getting up, I get a little dizzy. The aches are basically everywhere. I can move around for a short while before things catch up with me. But I feel generally drained of energy.

Thank goodness for tablets and heat sprays, hot water bottles and support pillows!

I feel blessed to be here.

I feel blessed for all the people in my life who have shown so much concern for me.

And I now understand that I have to listen to my body, and not my guilty conscience. If I am not ready to get back to full functionality, I have to rest up. Pushing myself before I am able will only detrimental to me in the long run.

Thank you, everyone, for all your messages of support. ❤

The Day I Shut Down the Motorway -#angelsdoexist

26 Feb 2017 217 Comments

by Ritu in Family, Thoughts Opinions & Memories Tags: #angelsdoexist, Accident, Blog, Blog Post, Blogger, Blogging, car, Emergency Services, Lucky, M6

Saturday 25th February 2017.

That’s a date I won’t forget in a hurry.

It was a hard enough day, attending the funeral of my cousin, then I had to drive back home, 3 hours to normality… or so I thought.

Basically, I’m lucky to be here writing this post.

As I sit here, still in Birmingham with my Pops, sore as anything, I can’t help but flash back to what happened yesterday.

I had an accident. A pretty big accident, on the Motorway, the M6, not long after I left here.

In a nutshell, I lost control of my car, possibly a burst tyre, or a sudden gust of wind (remnants of Storm Doris), and went careering into the central reservation. I tried to turn the steering wheel to get back on the road, but it started to spin around.

Hitting the barrier on all sides, it spun round into the middle of the busy motorway. Somehow I didn’t hit any other vehicles, and no one went into me.

I sat there in shock. A

few cars went past, and some stopped to help. A young Eastern European man asked if I was ok, and went to call an ambulance. Another couple of Asian men came to my door and encouraged me to get out if I was able.

Two other cars stopped. A young British couple and an older British couple.

I was given hugs, and reassurance and the younger lady brought me a drink from their car.

Standing there at the side of the road, adrenalin coursing through my veins, I couldn’t quite believe what was happening.

The next thing I know, the police had arrived, to cordon off the road so they could clear debris, and an ambulance arrived.

In the space of 5 minutes, there were five squad cars, an ambulance, Paramedic car, the Doctors on Call car, a Fire Engine, and even an Air Ambulance on the scene! They tried to get the helicopter to not land, as it wasn’t needed, but the message arrived late, so it touched down, then went straight back up in the air again!

And I had, single-handedly, shut down both sides of the M6. Debris strewn across both sides of the M6…

My poor car… It took a hell of a beating, and I fear I will be saying goodbye to my precious Bebe. The bumper came off, it crumpled, the sides and boot were all hit severely, all the tyres burst, but it looks like Bebe took the brunt of the force, leaving me still standing.

I was checked over, and the paramedics were worried about my spine as I had tenderness around the spinal area of my neck. Next thing I know I was in a neck brace and strapped to a board so I couldn’t move. Precautionary, of course.

I had called Hubby Dearest who was at home with the kids, and contacted Pops, who hared over to me, as fast as he could, considering I had caused a huge traffic jam.

My basic luggage (and Lil Princess’s lunchbox, strangely enough!) was rescued, at my request, and I had my handbag, but the rest of my stuff is still sitting in Bebe, in a garage somewhere…

As I was being strapped down, the Policeman turned the radio up and said “Here, listen, you’ve made the news!”, as the details of my accident and the hold up were announced on the traffic alerts.

Pops arrived as I was being prepared to be driven to the hospital. He was so worried and nearly ran across the road, after parking the wrong place! The Paramedic joked “Is your dad in a blue car? He nearly got himself in a pickle there! Your BP seems fine, but his may now be sky high! Tell him we don’t do 2 for 1 on the ambulance!”

The Policeman said Pops needed to turn around and come back. He was hoping to get some stuff from the car. By the time he arrived back, the car had been towed, and the ambulance had also gone!

I was taken to Accident and Emergency, where the staff were so great. X-rayed quickly, by which time Pops arrived. The result came in, no bone injury, thankfully, and the doctor checked me out. I was ok, nothing broken, but I was to expect soreness, and tenderness, and shock.

I was then released and sent home, so Pops and I left.

I spoke to Hubby Dearest and the kids, who were all very worried. Lil Man was concerned about the stuff left in the car, especially the chewing gum! As I explained that we probably wouldn’t see the car again, he said, “Rest In Peace Bebe!” Hubby Dearest was distraught being so far away, and unable to be there for me, but someone had to be there with the kids, and I had my Pops, after all.

Speaking to a cousin of mine after, she recalled when something similar happened to her, but her mum was in the car with her. She prayed that the car get hit on her side, not her mum’s and as they spun across the road, and went up the embankment, she continued to pray. The car came to a stop as if it had been parked up ready to go again, and she realised that miracles do happen. No injuries… and a good thing too, as she was getting married the following week!

She said to me, ” I realised then that angels were with me, protecting us. Ritu, you had your angel by your side too.”

And she couldn’t have said a truer word.

Someone was looking down on me, protecting me from something that could have been so much worse… Maybe it was my cousin…

And now… I am sat here waiting until 10 am when I can call the insurance and the garage up. Hopefully, I will be able to go home today. Hubby Dearest will get me.

But, you know what Peeps? I am so grateful to be here, able to write this post. And I will never take being alive, and able to do so much, for granted again.

Thank God I was in that car alone. The children weren’t in the car with me.

Thank God no one else was involved.

Thank God for the wonderful, compassionate souls who stopped to make sure this idiotic Indian woman was ok and reassured her.

And thank God for The Paramedics, the Doctors, the Police, the Air Ambulance, the Fire Service. They were so amazing, working so fast and efficiently, to help me and make the road safe again for the rest of the drivers.

So here’s to a less eventful Sunday… ❤