Pun-gli-hili anyone??!

And I speak fluent CAT!!!!

I was reading a post by Mariana on Scribbles On The Wall regarding bilingualism, and its importance, and how it affect children too, and felt that it was a topic hugely worth blogging my views on too!

Due to where my parents were brought up, they spoke their mother tongue, Punjabi, the language taught at school, English, and the national language of the country, Swahili, as they were both born in Kenya.

My brother and I grew up with a mish mash of all three, (Pun-gli-hili anyone?!) ne it took us an age to decipher why people outside of our whole family, didn’t understand certain things.., still, it hasn’t hindered our lives.. Enriched more like.

My Mum went to a British boarding school in Kenya. She speaks the Queen’s English.  No slang or dropped Haitches for her, EVER!  And at home with her mother, and grand mother, and other elders in the family she was fluent on Punjabi. To speak with the natives, she spoke Swahili form a very young age.  When the time came for her to continue education, she was sent to the University of Bath, where she lived with a proper English family.

My Pops didn’t go to a posh school. He was at the local school in the nearest town.  Yes he learned English, but with a slight pidgin accent, Punjabi was the focal point, a everyone in the family, more or less spoke Punjabi at home.  He spoke Swahili fluently, and also some of the other tribal languages, learned from the people who worked on their farm, like Nandi, or Jalu-o.  He then went to Mumbai, Bombay still in those days, and spent the years required getting his Dentistry degree. So along with Punjabi, Hindi was in the mix too!

They married, and there was no issue, they both understood what each other was saying, they had the same three languages in common. They moved to England, and settled in fine, there was no issue, both spoke the lingo, my mum actually spoke better than some English people!  Slowly other members of our family moved over too. Some were there before my parents.  Then I was born.

It became an unspoken rule that you were to speak Punjabi to your children at home, so they didn’t forget their roots.  And my parents did that.  To the extent that I hadn’t got an awful lot of English when I was 3, starting nursery.  A friend who I studied with from 3-18 years remembers my first day. She says that she came up to me and said “Hello!”, and I answered back “Hello!”. She asked my name, and I said “Hello!” She enquired about my age, I said “Hello!” So that was a good start eh!  Still, I was young, I picked it all up fast and within a couple of weeks, instead of gabbling away constantly in Punjabi, I was now whittering away in English instead!

Some people didn’t like it in the family, that I was speaking less Punjabi, but was it a good or bad thing? I understood what was being said to me, I could answer questions, but my language of choice was English. It was what I spoke every day at school, the language I read and wrote in, the language I watched TV in… ok, yes, once a week we would sit crowded around the VCR and TV watching the grainy copy of the latest Bollywood film, and I understood that enough!

But we socialised with my family enough that I was never going to forget my roots, language or culture.  My brother was the same, though he spoke Punjabi less from a young age, With his sports commitments, while I was at functions with mum, Pops was ferrying him around from hockey match to cricket match.

As we grew up, when my parents needed to discuss something not for small ears, they would talk in Swahili, as my brother and I didn’t really understand much of that… a few words, the basics, but nothing more, after all we didn’t really need to!

I learned traditional songs and dances, the more modern stuff, I even started Punjabi classes with an older sister in law of mine, but after starting to master the alphabet, we went on holiday, and I never carried it on, so I forgot the reading/writing aspect of Gurmukhi, the name of the Punjabi script.

At school there were no Indians around until I was at least 11 so within school confines I was always going to speak English. But when I went to university, there was a huge, diverse community, and I quickly became firm friends with many other Punjabi folk, like me.  It was great being with so many others ‘like me’ who weren’t related to me! I relished in the fact that I could speak my ‘home lingo’ with others and it felt pretty cool, actually!

Then I hit a brick wall.  I was chatting away to a good friend, who always laughed at how I spoke, but in a good way… Punjabi is quite a gruff language, but in my family, and for most Kenyan-origin Punjabi families, our accent is quite soft, it almost has an Urdu lilt to it, which has a grace of its own. It sounds more polite.  She said to me “Your Punjabi is so meet-hi, its not like mine! When I speak I speak “chappehr marke!” Loosely translated she said I speak sweetly, she speaks like she is giving someone a slap around the face! Ok, I could cope with that.

One day I asked for the ‘pasi’, she said “What?” I said the “pasi”. She had not a clue what I was on about.  I said “The Iron!” And she was like, that’s not how you say iron! Its “Press, or istri!”. Huh??! But this is what we called an iron at home!

I called mum, and it all fell into place! I wasn’t speaking Punjabi, all my life we had, in our family spoken Pun-gli-hili! A mix of Punjabi, English and Swahili!  She explained that so many words that I used, like kisu (knife) was Chaku in Punjabi, and boga(vegetable curry) was sabji in Punjabi, ghasia (waste/garbage) was koora in Punjabi! So all this time I had probably been right royally confusing my friends on campus with some words as I really wasn’t speaking the right language! We had mixed a lot of Swahili in there, as that was whet everyone did in Kenya, and as the whole family did it, we were none the wiser!

My cousin then told me a funny story from when she got married. She married into a family from India, no Kenya connections whatsoever! It is traditional for the bride to have to get dressed up, for a few weeks after the wedding, and sit there, all dolled up, for the boys side family and friend to come, and gawp at her. One morning, her  mother in law told her to get things ready, the Koorey waley were coming that day. She obediently got dressed, with her new clothes and finery on, and sat down waiting.  Evening came and she wondered why no one had come. Her mother in law asked her if the Koorey waley had been. She said that no, no one had turned up to visit.  “Silly girl!” her mother in law exclaimed! “The Koorey waley are the rubbish men, come to collect the garbage! Not some visitors!”

See I wasn’t the only one then! but it does work both ways. I remember speaking to  my cousin’s wife, and she came from a full on Indian Punjabi family into our mish mash East African Punjabi family.  She would be asked to get things, or do things that she didn’t understand, and it took an age for everyone to remember that, of course, she wouldn’t understand half of the vocabulary we use!

I married into a Full Indian family, but my Hubby, like me, was born here, so we both speak English, like a native! His parents speak Punjabi mostly, at home, and I speak Punjabi to them… real Punjabi, not Pun-gli-hili! Though I have explained the differences, and they laugh, and find it so funny, but its an education for them too!

So to my children… What do I teach them? It is natural instinct for me and Hubby Dearest to speak English, first and foremost to them, which we do, and they are totally fluent, never have been anything but. My in-laws speak Punjabi to them, my parents speak a mix of English, and Punjabi to them. I add bits of Swahili in there, but I let them know its not Punjabi in advance! I am constantly being asked if I would send my children to Punjabi school on the weekend, to learn the read and write the language too. They understand it, and are starting to try and reply back in it, but the reading and writing is another matter.  Its a big commitment, almost 2 hours a day Saturday and Sunday…when would they get to be kids??

I figure that I know more than most about my culture and religion through my parents teaching me, and my own thirst for knowledge.  I speak and understand Punjabi more fluently than a lot of people who went to Punjabi school.  It hasn’t hurt me, not knowing how to read and write it. So maybe that will be fine for my two too!

I count myself lucky actually, from a young age, exposure to more than one language has made it easier to pick them up, and now I don’t only speak Punjabi, and English. Yes I have a smattering of Swahili, but I can speak Hindi, converse in basic Urdu, and I speak French too! Working with EAL children at school means I have picked up some other language phrases too, in Slovakian, Roma, Polish, Russian, Lithuanian…  And don’t forget Cat… I now know Cat too, so I can speak to Sonu Singh! Now don’t go getting me to make a language name up for all that!!!!

I’m happy with my home language – Pun-gli-hili!

Minion Logic!



When is it the right time…?

I don’t want to let go, I seriously can’t even consider it at the moment!

I mean, let go of my babies, and allow them to grow up!

This year Lil Man is in year 5 – aged between 9 and 10. We got letters about an after school club, and for the first time, there was the option to allow your child to leave the school premises alone, with parental permission, to go home. Not a big deal, right? No, no, no, huge, massive, enormous deal!!

I know I’m over protective about the kids, but you know, after struggles to have them, and knowing the way of the world nowadays, I feel like I can’t contemplate it yet! He’s lucky, ( or not, depends how you look at it!) I work at the school, and I’ll always be around to pick him and Lil Princess up, and if I can’t, his grandparents are available most of the time too. Well, I will until the end of next year, then he starts ‘BIG SCHOOL’!

Lil Man is just that, little. He’s a feisty chap, with a lot of emotions too. Being of small stature, he’s a possible target for being picked on, but he does manage to avert things by being the clown. He does have great friends who he sticks around with at school. If things happen, he’s still young enough to tell us, but it takes a while. But he’s also someone who is ready to defend himself too. These things worry me… What if he doesn’t have these same friends at his new school, to be a support network? What if he gets picked on by some bigger kids, walking to/from school? What if this happens and he gets in a fight?

I know, he can’t be wrapped up in cotton wool for ever, but I just can’t do it!
Ok, so I’ve got to the stage where in the mornings, I leave him in the playground so I can get set for work, and when he has his karate lessons, sometimes I don’t stay, but that’s about it! But then he gets a bit anxious when he knows I’m not around as well.

One of his previous teachers was worried about him having dyspraxia tendencies at one time… That wasn’t proved, but there is something there. I’m not sure what. Ok, so they say we’re all on ‘the spectrum’ somewhere, and I do think maybe there’s an element of truth about him too. He still has such an innocence about him, more so than a lot of his classmates. The innocence 9 year olds in my day all had. Nowadays kids are so advanced, and know so much… It all this technology they have access to that feeds their minds, giving them chances to see/read things they wouldn’t have had a chance to a few years back.

And this technology, and social media is probably a silent feeder for me and my anxieties too. You can’t turn a page in a newspaper, log into Facebook, or see the Internet home pages without reading something negative, about kidnappings, stabbings, murder, bullying, rape…

I’m pretty sure these things happened all those years ago, well we all know they did, look at the celebrity scandals that are being uncovered all the time from years gone by, and stories that are reported on nowadays. But the thing is, we weren’t aware of them constantly. Something hugely major would be in the national papers or on the news on TV, not everything. Now, you hear something, and within seconds, someone has written and posted about it, right or wrong, and the rumour mill starts up… Or the anxieties of parents like me are pumped up.

So excuse me if I don’t want to let go too soon. Things are scary out there. He’s a precious lil boy and I want to give him the right life skills, but I don’t know when to start! And as for Lil Princess… Well she’s 6 going on 16 and wants to do everything her big brother gets to do right now! I don’t think these things would bother her too much, her confidence is pretty solid.

Unlike her brother. If he was playing his drum, you could stand him up, in front of a thousand, and he wouldn’t bat an eyelid! But the idea of going to big school alone with none of his mates, that scares the hell out of him. He does talk about walking to and from school alone, when that time will come, and though he is quite excited about it, there is a little nervous glint in his eyes as he talks about it. And it makes my heart ache…

So,like I said, I don’t want to let go…

He’s not old enough yet!

But when is the right time???

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