#JusJoJan – January 12th, 2018 – Aggravate

Day eleven of #JusJoJan!

I’m going to try to write on each of the prompts!

Today the prompt is:

Your prompt for January 12th, 2018, brought to you by Fandango, is “Aggravate.” Use it any way you’d like in your post. And make sure you visit Jim at his blog, “This, That and The Other” link: https://fivedotoh.wordpress.com/

Thanks, Fandango!

Aggravate

Sometimes, it doesn’t take much to aggravate a situation.

Sometimes, just your presence, your breathing can cause a meltdown.

I see it daily with my kids!

They are at that precious tweenage stage, where there is love, but a whole lotta hate!

And the number of times we end up having to referee slanging matches because “he just looked at me,” or “she touched my carpet”… sheesh!

It’s definitely a brother/sister thing. I remember being the same with my brother.

But we did work through it. The hate part turned to love too, and we can laugh at our childhood relationship.

It makes me realise what we must have put our parents through when we bickered over the most trivial things or screamed blue murder because someone changed the channel on the television!

My mum always says, in the nicest way possible… it’s payback time!

Thanks, Mum! Love you too!

See you tomorrow!

If you want to find a full list of rules and the daily prompts visit here.

 

 

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Parenthood Passport #ThrowbackThursday

 A repost of an older post of mine… enjoy!


You know when you start that journey called parenthood, you should really be issued with a passport.

You don’t need a visa to become a parent (though seeing some mums and dads out there, you’d think there would be some requirements!), but there are so many stops, destinations, along the way… Wouldn’t it be great if you could get a special stamp for the different experiences that you manage to get through?I’ll start with a few… I’m sure you can think of others to add to the list.

  • I survived the sleepless night stage! Matchsticks are helping the eyes stay open, but I’m still standing…
  • I got pooped/peed on, while changing a nappy! Ewwwwws!
  • I’ve experienced the projectile vomiting craziness! How the heck do they do that?!
  • Crying stamp level 1 – I’ve cried when they didn’t eat that flavoursome gloop that it took me hours to make… Yet it took them 3 minutes flat to eat that readymade rubbish!
  • We finally got them out of nappies! Yes the carpet needs a good clean from the accidents…and I’ll probably need a new mattress,  but we did it!
  • I survived a long distance journey in a car with kids…. And came out ALIVE!!! (And so did they!)
  • Separate stamp for the same, but in an airplane!
  • I coped with a tantrum in public, and didn’t look like a totally incapable parent!  (A hard one to achieve!)
  • I rushed my child to A & E… For no reason whatsoever! Paranoid parent stamp!
  • Crying stamp level 2 – I sniffled through waving my kids through that school gate for the first time.
  • I survived sending them to their first sleepover…  handing the reigns of my child over to someone else!
  • I came out of hosting a children’s sleepover alive. FULLSTOP!
  • They pushed, they tried it on, and I still didn’t buckle. The testing limits stamp.
  • The pre teen pretend hormonal tantrums of 7 year old daughters… Going through this right now… Not sure how I will cope!!

As they get older, there are still many stamps to collect.

  • I managed to totally embarrass my offspring! Oh no could get this one dozens of times!!!
  • I survived them walking in on us in a compromising situation, and managed to style it out stamp!
  • We got through the that talk stage…. And even managed to field some pretty awkward questions!
  • The teenage years… FULLSTOP!
  • I teased my children through their first crushes!
  • I sat nervously, waiting for my child to come home after their first time out, unsupervised!
  • I managed to allow my child to go on a date! ( a hard one for dads and their daughters!)
  • Crying stamp level 3 – Oh My God! My baby can’t be ready to leave me and go to college/University??!! Still. I managed to let go…

It goes on, through to their relationships, and marriage to them having their own children… There are so many more stamps to collect…

Which other Parenthood Passport stamp would you include?

Is It Harder To be A Parent In 2017? – Thursday Thoughts

The other night, as I was making the chapatti’s at my Mother-in-law’s house, her friend came to visit. They had their usual chats, then the talk turned to their grandchildren.

I could hear the comments about her children constantly on the go, taking their children here and there, and the kids demanding things, and having phones, iPads, TV at their disposal… it began to sound like one of those conversations where they were going to criticise the parents of today, because obviously it was better in their day…

Rolling out the chapattis, I was glad I wasn’t in there, as I may have said something!

But it got me thinking…

Is it harder being a parent now, in this day and age, than it was when we were children, and it was the turns of our parents?

Time Management

There is no sweeping statement we can make on this.

Back in the day, there were more Stay at Home Mums. You were more likely to find mum at home, caring for the family in a more child-centred way and Dad was at work, then came home to pat the children goodnight,  but equally there were many parents (my in-law’s included), who had moved over to a new country, and wanted to make a good life for their families, so they worked hard too, working all the hours God sent, to provide for their families and try and instil a good set of morals into their children. But still, you would have someone at home, making dinner, assisting with homework, ensuring the children had everything they needed.

Retro, Family, People, Rain, Clouds

Nowadays, you still have working parents and Stay at Home Mums, but it feels like there is not enough time in the day to deal with all that needs to be done. The rush in the morning to get everything ready for children, and yourself. Lunches made, bags packed, equipment kept ready for all these after school commitments. Then the day begins, school and work. Home time consists of rushing around to feed kids, so they can be shipped off the various clubs. While they are gone, you tend to jobs that need to be done. Getting them to bed is another story! Trying to grab phones and tablets off them, making sure homework and reading has been done, before lights out! Sometimes you could easily go to sleep before them!

Presence or Presents

Growing up, I remember my mum always being there. Pops was at work, but when he was home, he was with us, taking my brother to matches or training, or going out as a family, but we were together a lot. Being there with us counted for a lot.

Boy, Kid, Child, Phone, Calling, Mobile

Now, I feel that I have snatched moments with my children. Everything is a rush. Desperate to fit everything in, I often get short tempered then regret it immediately after. I am not too bad at this but it an be easy to compensate for not being there by promising treats and gifts. Chocolate, a trip to the park, watching a special programme on the TV. The requests are small as a young child, but once the expectations are there then the demands get bigger, and more expensive, Consoles, games for them, iPhones, iPads, the latest trainers. Which leads me on to…

Financial Pressures

I’m not saying everyone was rolling in it a generation back.

Far from it. But life was simpler and cheaper. There were fewer clubs and ‘things’ that were requested. And you could occupy your child relatively cheaply, because they were more likely to be happy with whatever you provided. I never wanted for anything, but then, I never really demanded anything from my parents either I got so much love from them, material possessions meant little to me. As long as I had a book, I was happy!

Life now has created financial pressures for most of us nowadays. Both parents working, if they can find jobs, because there is a need to work, not because they want to. Cost of living had increased immensely. It’s hard to keep up mortgage payments and house bills, and feed the family decent food. On top of that, you have to clothe your family. When they are young, you can get away with whatever you want. As they grow older they want certain things, and though you don’t want to spoil them, you want to give them what they crave at least some times. Extra Curricular activities can be free, but some, you have to pay for, and in today’s day and age, you feel terrible if you aren’t sending your child to at least one activity.

Too Many Choices

“Sit down and eat your dinner!”

And we would.

Not in any bad way, but as a parent you rarely requested your child to do anything, you told them, and the respect was there, that you listened.

Now, we I fear we have made a rod for our own backs. There are so many choices out there and often we will say to a child “Would you like this or that?” Allowing them to take certain decisions is not a bad thing, but when you end up making three different dinners because one child won’t eat that, and the other detests this... are we giving them too much choice?

When you are still waiting for your 7 year old daughter to get ready because she can’t decide what she wants to wear..? My mum put my clothes out for me… there was no choice.. and at that stage, I didn’t know what fashion was!

Social Media and the Internet

Way back when, there was the daily papers, and three channels for us to watch. News was something that was national, or affected us locally. Worldwide news would be in the papers the next day or a few days later, or if important you’d get a bulletin on the TV. Children went out to play with friends at the park, or you’d have play dates at your mates house. Sleepovers were fun.

Baby, Boy, Child, Childhood, Computer

Nowadays children still have friends, but if allowed, they are mostly communicating via social media. Snap Chat and Instagram, Twitter,WhatsApp and Facebook are the means for communication. Even the young ones have accounts on Roblox or MSP where they can message friends, real or otherwise. We as parents have access to these things too, as well as the internet, and instant access to news, and things happening everywhere.

Tricycle, Red, Childhood, Toy, Fun, Ride

When you put all this together it can make for scary thoughts. Why are we more hesitant to allow our kids to play out with their mates in the evenings, or to get on their bikes in the morning and not see them until dinner time? It was okay for us growing up, but now we’d prefer then to be somewhere we can see them…

Blame that on Social Media and the internet. Using the World Wide Web, we find out so much about awful things happening across the world. Stories about abductions, bullying, abuse, and so much connected to social media too. Isn’t it easier to keep our children inside a bubble?

I wonder whether we have made life harder for ourselves though. Lets be honest, a lot of this was happening before too, but our parents weren’t aware of it as all these horror stories weren’t reported in such a frequent and easy to access manner. Now all it takes is to log on to your Facebook account, and stories are shared of horrible things that happen. We want to protect our children, but give ourselves extra stress because we worry about what could happen, rather than live in the now.

Growing Up Too Soon

The innocence of childhood… that phrase rings so true when I think of when I was growing up. We played with toys, listened to our parents, had innocent fun until into our teen years.

It’s a different story now. Watching things on TV or the internet means that children are exposed to so much. Their language has matured from a much younger age. They are aware of a lot that is happening out in the world, which makes some cautious from a young age. They dress more grown up, want items with ‘names’ on them. Watching music videos, they don’t realise it, but they dance around in a sexualised way. And the attitude these children show too! The lip we have to endure from Tweens… see even a new name for those pre teen stroppy mares!

As a parent, you can control a lot of what your kids do, if you have a choice, but their is access to so much, from many different avenues, it can be hard to keep an eye on them the whole time.

Thirty years ago, the big worry may have been finding a naughty magazine under your son’s bed, or a hidden lipstick, or the discovery that your child has a boyfriend or girlfriend.

Now these are small worries in comparison to what we face. Do we censor everything? When my son started secondary school, he was quite innocent, and he still is. However sometimes we would hear him speak of certain things, that we would never mention, or condone him watching, and he said that his friends at school showed him on their phones.  He is growing up. Too fast in my eyes, but I know every parent thinks that. We have had to grant him trust, hoping that he knows right from wrong and that he doesn’t take a wrong path.

Going back too the beginning of the post, I went and joined my mother in law and her friend. I was fully expecting a conversation stating how rubbish we were as parents compared to them.

But I was wrong.

Instead, this aunty-ji said she felt for us parents of today.

Watching us run ourselves ragged, depositing children here, there and everywhere, working long hours, she felt for us.

Both her and my mother in law were so happy that they were here and able to be some support to us with regards to childcare, while they are still able. After all if we didn’t have their support, we wouldn’t be able to work properly, or if we did, the childcare costs would go up for us, having to pay someone to keep our kids until we were able to come home…

There was no criticism, only concern.

In their eyes, being a parent in their days, to young children was a doddle, compared to now!

What do you think? Is parenting harder now, or was it tougher back in the day?

Images from Pixabay.

 

That Monday Feeling!

I know where I’d rather be right now!

After another night with barely 4 hours sleep, I definitely don’t feel ready to face the day!

And I wasn’t stressing over anything, honestly…or rather I was worrying about Lil Man.

Poor guy is suffering from a migraine since yesterday, and a high temperature.

He wanted to sleep near me so we agreed that once he fell asleep, I would take him to his bed.

Of course the drama queen in our house (not me, cheeky! I know you were thinking that!), Lil Princess decided that it wasn’t fair, him being with me. She went to bed then until 11pm kept coming into my room to say she was unable to sleep.

Finally when Lil Man was asleep soundly, I carried him into his bed. Li Princess appeared to be asleep. Hubby Dearest was still watching TV downstairs, unaware of any Musical Beds being played so far!

But come half an hour later, he came back, “I can’t sleep mummy, it hurts too much!” So the duvet got pulled to one side, and he climbed in.

We all fell asleep… until at 1 am the pitter patter of smallish feet woke me. “Mummy, I can’t sleep, honestly!” Lil Princess had arrived!

Now this should have been the time I marched her back to bed, but in all honesty, I didn’t have the energy! The duvet was pulled up and here I was, sandwiched between two little people!

Then Hubby Dearest showed up.

I instructed him to go take the girl, and sleep with her on the pull out bed in her room! At least this way she wasn’t feeling ‘excluded from this sickness pyjama party!

So off they went. All I could hear was giggling, so had to go and remind him that his daughter had to be up in around 5 hours! then after 20 minutes, more noise as the pull out bed went back.. because Sonu Singh, who had been peacefully sleeping on my bed, thought he would join their party, and went under Lil Princess’s bed, and had started scratching the wood there, disturbing all!

So, after she was settled, Hubby Dearest took the couch, and all was well… until around 2.30 am, when Lil Princess appeared again, at my door.

Too tired, I beckoned her over, and spent the next three and a half hours tossing and turning between these two, getting hotter and hotter!

The alarm went off to soon!

And I had two kids and the cat wedged around me!

Oh Jeez! How am I going to manage today?

Lil Man still hasn’t shaken the temperature or headache so he will be at home with his Daddy. I don’t know quite how I am going to wake my Lil Drama Queen Princess up now…

Wish me luck!

And have a good day Peeps! I hope your night was better than mine!

Snow Fun! (It Didn’t Last Long Though!)

Well, you know how excited I was yesterday, about the snow fall that we had.

It was cold. We got around 3 cm.. not much, but enough for the kids to want to go wild out there! (Well, as wild as 3cm lets you get!)

Initially, I was like, “No kids, you need to get to bed. We’ll see tomorrow.” But then I got to thinking. I was fully aware that the snow was not due to continue falling overnight, but the temperatures were going to be low. This meant that whatever snow we had would still be there, but in ice form, rather than lovely soft snow.

So I crumbled, and all four of us got wrapped u, ready to go and ‘play’ in the snow!

It would have been five, but Sonu went out and ran straight back in. Strangely, he doesn’t like cold, wet things falling on his fur!

And they attempted to make snow angels, snow balls and snowmen!

It meant that the pristine, snow-covered garden was now a mushy mess, but at least they had fun!

This morning, it was indeed icy. I needed a pickaxe to get through the ‘snow’ on the windscreen, and the road, in places, where the area was mostly residential, was treacherous. There were ice rinks where puddles once were!

Getting to school was no better. The carpark was a giant lawsuit waiting to happen, with iced-over surfaces! The caretaker was trying his hardest to salt and grit over the playgrounds before the children arrived, and there were three of them for him to deal with! One is on an incline, and the main path is at the bottom of the slope. As he scraped the path, the ice from the top of the playground was melting, and rolling down slowly, refreezing where he was trying to clear!

Poor guy!

It was almost a pointless exercise!

Morning play outside for the whole school was cancelled as all three playgrounds were far too dangerous, except in our nursery. We were lucky! Our little area still had some ice snow for the kids to enjoy, and clear paths for them to move around!

It was a joy to see these children, some of whom hadn’t even been allowed to touch the snow, play in this wonderful cold stuff that they hadn’t ever experienced before! (Unless they were from Poland, in which case they had seen much, much more!)

And we even made a snowman!!!!

20170113_121039.jpg

Alas… it’s all gone now!!!

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