One-Liner Wednesday – #1LinerWeds – Kids

“Damned if you do… Damned if you don’t…” said by Loads of People

 

I took Lil Princess to the park today. Lil Man was already there, with his friend. We had agreed that I would bring his sister, but not go near him – Street cred and all that jazz (But I am a cool mum remember – I FLOSS!)

Whilst there, she wouldn’t stay away from her brother and ended up playing basketball with him and his mate. So that meant I was at a loss. I couldn’t stay away because I had to keep an eye on the girl.

Whilst sat there, I noticed a child getting pushed around. There were loads of people in the park yet no one batted an eyelid. This one child, who wore glasses, was pushed down to the ground, kicked, and punched. A girl stood beside him doing nothing. The others were a group of five children. They looked around 11-12 years old.

Then the bullies walked off.

I was getting ready to go home when I saw the kid get pushed again. Still, no one did anything.

Now, I know the culture nowadays is to not get involved. You run the risk of getting turned on instead, but I needed to know that child was okay. It could have been rough playing, I don’t know… Lil Man said, “I’ll go say something if it gets rough mummy, don’t worry.” But how much rougher did it have to get?

So, I told the three under my care to stay where they were and I walked over. As I got closer I heard ” Mummy!” It was Lil Princess, flanked by my son and his friend. Before I could send them back, one of the bully kids said something to my son. I don’t know what, but Lil Man turned to him and said: “Say that to my face!”

The kid walked off. I sent my three charges back to the basketball court, with the assurance that I was fine. I didn’t need mini bodyguards with me.

Some of the other kids were watching me.

I did think whether I should just walk past. If I got involved, would they turn on my kids?

Or did I go and check on that child?

The inner mumster/teacher won.

I went to him and quietly asked if he was okay. The girl with him looked like a sister. They both looked a little relieved that someone had asked, but they said they were fine. I mentioned that I was around if they needed anything, a call home etc. and left them to it.

Sitting back down, I still watched.

The bully group were still there, glancing over at me, but they didn’t approach us. Lil Princess wanted to play on the climbing frame some of them had congregated at. I was torn again. Do I go there with her, and let her play? Or do I say no, for fear of them saying anything to her?

But then I realised that we weren’t the ones in the wrong. They were.

I was tempted to ask some of the older kids why they didn’t intervene when they saw things like that happening. Maybe it’s the culture nowadays… you just don’t get involved.

But where does that leave you when you witness something like that, don’t do anything, then read the headlines later to hear that someone was seriously hurt, or even worse… or what if the bullying causes that child to do something drastic?

Nah.

I stand by my decision to see whether that child was okay.

He seemed fine after. The worst three of the five who had been pushing him around disappeared and the other two just talked to him and his sister after.

And though I worry about my Lil Man going to the park, knowing there are idiots like that around, I know he has a big heart and a strong head on his shoulders. I can’t be his bubblewrap all the time…

Sorry… a little more than one line AGAIN!

For Linda’s #1LinerWeds Challenge. (But a lot more than one line!!!)


Ramblings Of A Sleep-Depraved Mother #ThursdayThoughts

“Have an early night,” they said.

“You’ll feel much better!” I was assured.

Lil Princess told me to make sure the last thing I say to her at night was “Promise to stay in your bed,” as apparently that works….

Yeah right!

So, I managed to drift off around 10 pm, and all was quiet around the house.

I fell into the peaceful sleep of a person who no longer had the pressure of observation on her head.

Oh yeah, thank you all for the good wishes yesterday, things went really well, and the kids shone in the class too. My head teacher was really happy with how the lesson went, and said she really enjoyed time in the nursery. Phew! I was so worried, after an awful observation pre-Christmas (due to terrible timing of a lot of things, resulting in a really bad lesson, where nothing really flowed!) but now I can relax  until the next one !

Then at 2.30 am I heard crying…

Lil Princess.

She isn’t a crier.

“Mummy, my tummy really hurts…”

There are bugs going around again at school. The place is rife with snot, coughs and sick buckets – had she caught a bug?

Two hours of encouraging going to the toilet, massaging tummies, even getting fruit down her in case it was more constipation…

And in the back of my mind I am thinking… “Could it be ‘time’ for her?”

As a mother of a girl I have to remember that she is getting older, and soon enough will join the club, so to speak, of females with PMT! In all honesty, she’s perfected the hormonal mood swings already, they were in evidence from around the age of seven!

We’ve talked about the changes that will be occurring obviously. She tells me she knows everything already because they talk on the playground, and well, YouTube teaches everything too, doesn’t it!

Obviously I have corrected certain misconceptions, and we have the joys of that talk happening in her year group this academic year too, but I can’t help but wondering if that may be part of the reason for the tummy ache…

We are all up now. She is teary and tummy still aches a little, but I have made some herbal concoction, recommended by my mum in law, to help tummy aches, in case it is sickness or digestion related (boil cardomom pods, fennel seeds and ajawain (caroway) seeds in water until the liquid colours. drain and sweeten with a little honey for kids, and sip while warm. Should help loosen anything inside, or ease aches).

We will attempt school, and if things don’t look good, I can drop her to her uncle who is working from home today.

She’s also getting a cold – great. Lil Man is blowing his nose (with his unbruised left hand – did I tell you he caught it in the car door the other day?) and my throat is starting to hurt…

I’m praying there is no sickness – hoping we can crawl to the weekend, then all just slob out on the sofa and recharge batteries and get better….

Oh well, off to school for another eventful day ending in a Governors meeting (that finishes at 8 pm, if we’re lucky!).

Catch y’all later Peeps!

#JusJoJan – January 12th, 2018 – Aggravate

Day eleven of #JusJoJan!

I’m going to try to write on each of the prompts!

Today the prompt is:

Your prompt for January 12th, 2018, brought to you by Fandango, is “Aggravate.” Use it any way you’d like in your post. And make sure you visit Jim at his blog, “This, That and The Other” link: https://fivedotoh.wordpress.com/

Thanks, Fandango!

Aggravate

Sometimes, it doesn’t take much to aggravate a situation.

Sometimes, just your presence, your breathing can cause a meltdown.

I see it daily with my kids!

They are at that precious tweenage stage, where there is love, but a whole lotta hate!

And the number of times we end up having to referee slanging matches because “he just looked at me,” or “she touched my carpet”… sheesh!

It’s definitely a brother/sister thing. I remember being the same with my brother.

But we did work through it. The hate part turned to love too, and we can laugh at our childhood relationship.

It makes me realise what we must have put our parents through when we bickered over the most trivial things or screamed blue murder because someone changed the channel on the television!

My mum always says, in the nicest way possible… it’s payback time!

Thanks, Mum! Love you too!

See you tomorrow!

If you want to find a full list of rules and the daily prompts visit here.

 

 

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Parenthood Passport #ThrowbackThursday

 A repost of an older post of mine… enjoy!


You know when you start that journey called parenthood, you should really be issued with a passport.

You don’t need a visa to become a parent (though seeing some mums and dads out there, you’d think there would be some requirements!), but there are so many stops, destinations, along the way… Wouldn’t it be great if you could get a special stamp for the different experiences that you manage to get through?I’ll start with a few… I’m sure you can think of others to add to the list.

  • I survived the sleepless night stage! Matchsticks are helping the eyes stay open, but I’m still standing…
  • I got pooped/peed on, while changing a nappy! Ewwwwws!
  • I’ve experienced the projectile vomiting craziness! How the heck do they do that?!
  • Crying stamp level 1 – I’ve cried when they didn’t eat that flavoursome gloop that it took me hours to make… Yet it took them 3 minutes flat to eat that readymade rubbish!
  • We finally got them out of nappies! Yes the carpet needs a good clean from the accidents…and I’ll probably need a new mattress,  but we did it!
  • I survived a long distance journey in a car with kids…. And came out ALIVE!!! (And so did they!)
  • Separate stamp for the same, but in an airplane!
  • I coped with a tantrum in public, and didn’t look like a totally incapable parent!  (A hard one to achieve!)
  • I rushed my child to A & E… For no reason whatsoever! Paranoid parent stamp!
  • Crying stamp level 2 – I sniffled through waving my kids through that school gate for the first time.
  • I survived sending them to their first sleepover…  handing the reigns of my child over to someone else!
  • I came out of hosting a children’s sleepover alive. FULLSTOP!
  • They pushed, they tried it on, and I still didn’t buckle. The testing limits stamp.
  • The pre teen pretend hormonal tantrums of 7 year old daughters… Going through this right now… Not sure how I will cope!!

As they get older, there are still many stamps to collect.

  • I managed to totally embarrass my offspring! Oh no could get this one dozens of times!!!
  • I survived them walking in on us in a compromising situation, and managed to style it out stamp!
  • We got through the that talk stage…. And even managed to field some pretty awkward questions!
  • The teenage years… FULLSTOP!
  • I teased my children through their first crushes!
  • I sat nervously, waiting for my child to come home after their first time out, unsupervised!
  • I managed to allow my child to go on a date! ( a hard one for dads and their daughters!)
  • Crying stamp level 3 – Oh My God! My baby can’t be ready to leave me and go to college/University??!! Still. I managed to let go…

It goes on, through to their relationships, and marriage to them having their own children… There are so many more stamps to collect…

Which other Parenthood Passport stamp would you include?

Is It Harder To be A Parent In 2017? – Thursday Thoughts

The other night, as I was making the chapatti’s at my Mother-in-law’s house, her friend came to visit. They had their usual chats, then the talk turned to their grandchildren.

I could hear the comments about her children constantly on the go, taking their children here and there, and the kids demanding things, and having phones, iPads, TV at their disposal… it began to sound like one of those conversations where they were going to criticise the parents of today, because obviously it was better in their day…

Rolling out the chapattis, I was glad I wasn’t in there, as I may have said something!

But it got me thinking…

Is it harder being a parent now, in this day and age, than it was when we were children, and it was the turns of our parents?

Time Management

There is no sweeping statement we can make on this.

Back in the day, there were more Stay at Home Mums. You were more likely to find mum at home, caring for the family in a more child-centred way and Dad was at work, then came home to pat the children goodnight,  but equally there were many parents (my in-law’s included), who had moved over to a new country, and wanted to make a good life for their families, so they worked hard too, working all the hours God sent, to provide for their families and try and instil a good set of morals into their children. But still, you would have someone at home, making dinner, assisting with homework, ensuring the children had everything they needed.

Retro, Family, People, Rain, Clouds

Nowadays, you still have working parents and Stay at Home Mums, but it feels like there is not enough time in the day to deal with all that needs to be done. The rush in the morning to get everything ready for children, and yourself. Lunches made, bags packed, equipment kept ready for all these after school commitments. Then the day begins, school and work. Home time consists of rushing around to feed kids, so they can be shipped off the various clubs. While they are gone, you tend to jobs that need to be done. Getting them to bed is another story! Trying to grab phones and tablets off them, making sure homework and reading has been done, before lights out! Sometimes you could easily go to sleep before them!

Presence or Presents

Growing up, I remember my mum always being there. Pops was at work, but when he was home, he was with us, taking my brother to matches or training, or going out as a family, but we were together a lot. Being there with us counted for a lot.

Boy, Kid, Child, Phone, Calling, Mobile

Now, I feel that I have snatched moments with my children. Everything is a rush. Desperate to fit everything in, I often get short tempered then regret it immediately after. I am not too bad at this but it an be easy to compensate for not being there by promising treats and gifts. Chocolate, a trip to the park, watching a special programme on the TV. The requests are small as a young child, but once the expectations are there then the demands get bigger, and more expensive, Consoles, games for them, iPhones, iPads, the latest trainers. Which leads me on to…

Financial Pressures

I’m not saying everyone was rolling in it a generation back.

Far from it. But life was simpler and cheaper. There were fewer clubs and ‘things’ that were requested. And you could occupy your child relatively cheaply, because they were more likely to be happy with whatever you provided. I never wanted for anything, but then, I never really demanded anything from my parents either I got so much love from them, material possessions meant little to me. As long as I had a book, I was happy!

Life now has created financial pressures for most of us nowadays. Both parents working, if they can find jobs, because there is a need to work, not because they want to. Cost of living had increased immensely. It’s hard to keep up mortgage payments and house bills, and feed the family decent food. On top of that, you have to clothe your family. When they are young, you can get away with whatever you want. As they grow older they want certain things, and though you don’t want to spoil them, you want to give them what they crave at least some times. Extra Curricular activities can be free, but some, you have to pay for, and in today’s day and age, you feel terrible if you aren’t sending your child to at least one activity.

Too Many Choices

“Sit down and eat your dinner!”

And we would.

Not in any bad way, but as a parent you rarely requested your child to do anything, you told them, and the respect was there, that you listened.

Now, we I fear we have made a rod for our own backs. There are so many choices out there and often we will say to a child “Would you like this or that?” Allowing them to take certain decisions is not a bad thing, but when you end up making three different dinners because one child won’t eat that, and the other detests this... are we giving them too much choice?

When you are still waiting for your 7 year old daughter to get ready because she can’t decide what she wants to wear..? My mum put my clothes out for me… there was no choice.. and at that stage, I didn’t know what fashion was!

Social Media and the Internet

Way back when, there was the daily papers, and three channels for us to watch. News was something that was national, or affected us locally. Worldwide news would be in the papers the next day or a few days later, or if important you’d get a bulletin on the TV. Children went out to play with friends at the park, or you’d have play dates at your mates house. Sleepovers were fun.

Baby, Boy, Child, Childhood, Computer

Nowadays children still have friends, but if allowed, they are mostly communicating via social media. Snap Chat and Instagram, Twitter,WhatsApp and Facebook are the means for communication. Even the young ones have accounts on Roblox or MSP where they can message friends, real or otherwise. We as parents have access to these things too, as well as the internet, and instant access to news, and things happening everywhere.

Tricycle, Red, Childhood, Toy, Fun, Ride

When you put all this together it can make for scary thoughts. Why are we more hesitant to allow our kids to play out with their mates in the evenings, or to get on their bikes in the morning and not see them until dinner time? It was okay for us growing up, but now we’d prefer then to be somewhere we can see them…

Blame that on Social Media and the internet. Using the World Wide Web, we find out so much about awful things happening across the world. Stories about abductions, bullying, abuse, and so much connected to social media too. Isn’t it easier to keep our children inside a bubble?

I wonder whether we have made life harder for ourselves though. Lets be honest, a lot of this was happening before too, but our parents weren’t aware of it as all these horror stories weren’t reported in such a frequent and easy to access manner. Now all it takes is to log on to your Facebook account, and stories are shared of horrible things that happen. We want to protect our children, but give ourselves extra stress because we worry about what could happen, rather than live in the now.

Growing Up Too Soon

The innocence of childhood… that phrase rings so true when I think of when I was growing up. We played with toys, listened to our parents, had innocent fun until into our teen years.

It’s a different story now. Watching things on TV or the internet means that children are exposed to so much. Their language has matured from a much younger age. They are aware of a lot that is happening out in the world, which makes some cautious from a young age. They dress more grown up, want items with ‘names’ on them. Watching music videos, they don’t realise it, but they dance around in a sexualised way. And the attitude these children show too! The lip we have to endure from Tweens… see even a new name for those pre teen stroppy mares!

As a parent, you can control a lot of what your kids do, if you have a choice, but their is access to so much, from many different avenues, it can be hard to keep an eye on them the whole time.

Thirty years ago, the big worry may have been finding a naughty magazine under your son’s bed, or a hidden lipstick, or the discovery that your child has a boyfriend or girlfriend.

Now these are small worries in comparison to what we face. Do we censor everything? When my son started secondary school, he was quite innocent, and he still is. However sometimes we would hear him speak of certain things, that we would never mention, or condone him watching, and he said that his friends at school showed him on their phones.  He is growing up. Too fast in my eyes, but I know every parent thinks that. We have had to grant him trust, hoping that he knows right from wrong and that he doesn’t take a wrong path.

Going back too the beginning of the post, I went and joined my mother in law and her friend. I was fully expecting a conversation stating how rubbish we were as parents compared to them.

But I was wrong.

Instead, this aunty-ji said she felt for us parents of today.

Watching us run ourselves ragged, depositing children here, there and everywhere, working long hours, she felt for us.

Both her and my mother in law were so happy that they were here and able to be some support to us with regards to childcare, while they are still able. After all if we didn’t have their support, we wouldn’t be able to work properly, or if we did, the childcare costs would go up for us, having to pay someone to keep our kids until we were able to come home…

There was no criticism, only concern.

In their eyes, being a parent in their days, to young children was a doddle, compared to now!

What do you think? Is parenting harder now, or was it tougher back in the day?

Images from Pixabay.

 

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