But I Smile Anyway…

This Friday heralds the second fiction challenge from Ronovan Writes.  Check it out here.

The prompt words this week…

Burn, Weave, Cabin, Silver, Hush, Light

I Thought We Were For Forever…

It was early morning, the dim light from the rising sun slowly illuminating her face. Marie glanced around her. The area around the lake was so quiet, only the sounds of the wind, gently blowing through the leaves was heard.

There was one other cabin, across the water, but it was quite far away, far enough that she wouldn’t be seen. Looking forward again, her eyes focused on the building in front of her. A grand log cabin. They had invested in it many years ago, when the children were younger. A great place for them to come in the school vacations. Cheaper than the commercial holidays, and so much to learn all around them.

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Memories flooded her mind all of a sudden… The kids loved coming, swimming in the lake, going into the surrounding woods to help collect firewood, the barbeques, the toasting of marshmallows on an open fire…

Soon, as the children grew up, the invitations stretched to a friend each, and even later, sometimes a boyfriend or girlfriend… but as they went off to college, their interests changed. They wanted to go elsewhere in the holidays, sometimes traveling around the US or backpacking across Europe. There were times they weren’t even interested in coming back home, so busy were they with their lives.

She came with Frank a few summers, but they found it so hard to occupy the time, alone. So used to having others to look after, Marie would be at a loss as to what to do with herself. Their conversations would be stilted. There wasn’t even a decent TV there, so they had to be content with their own company.

Gradually they stopped coming, well they stopped coming together. Frank would still head on out here with his friends, on the odd fishing weekend, but the place had lost its shine for Marie.

In fact most things about their marriage had lost their shine, tarnished… A hush had descended on their communication. They hardly spoke, there was almost no time together, no room for intimacy, and if she was honest, she was hardly likely to be the one to initiate anything. A good book was enough for her nowadays. And by the time Frank got home from wherever he went with his friends, or when he came upstairs after watching whatever movie was on, that evening, she would more than likely be asleep.

But still, she was not stupid, and it started to dawn on her that there was something amiss. Frank would be out, and instead of coming home smelling of beer, and cigarettes, stripping off of his clothes and climbing into bed, he would come home, and head straight for the bathroom, coming out all freshly showered.

Then there were all those late nights on the couch… Marie had thought he was watching a game or film, but if she ventured downstairs, she could see, from the lounge doorway, a halo of light around his face, from the glow of the laptop screen. He had never been a technological person, but now he was doing something on the laptop, almost every night.

A seed of doubt was planted in her mind, and it began to grow… this idea would weave in and out of her thoughts and the seed sprouted… and slowly got bigger and bigger. What was he doing? Where was he going? Who was he seeing? Because it definitely wasn’t Bud and Jimmy. She had seen them one afternoon, gracing a bench in the local park, where she would go to walk her beloved furbaby, Roxy. They asked her how Frank was, mentioning that they hadn’t seen him for ages…

They hadn’t seen him? So where had he been going 2-3 nights a week, when she assumed he was with them?

It wasn’t long before she was curious enough to log onto the laptop, and see what he had been searching. The history page provided a wealth of information… she scrolled down, horrified… There were dating sites, and downloaded porn… and, my oh my, the old fool had got himself a Facebook account!

Marie spent a while browsing all the pages. And then she saw it… on Facebook, his relationship status, ‘in a relationship’… ok, so that was right, but it was the next bit that shocked her… “with Tina Knowles”

Who the heck was Tina Knowles? She clicked on the name, and another profile opened up. This profile showed a picture of a woman, maybe a few years her junior, smiling with her arms around… her Frank! As she looked down the woman’s profile, there were plenty of photos and ‘check ins’ with the two of them together…. In restaurants, and bars, smiling and happy, looking, well, loved up, for want of a better phrase!

Then she spotted a photo that made her hackles rise sky high. A photo of the two of them, grinning inanely at each other, a selfie, of all things, Heavens above, the old fool was now taking selfies too?! But the location of the photo… the scenery was familiar, the lake, the trees, their family log cabin! So, he had been taking her there?

How long had this been going on? Well, however long it had been happening, it was not right. So what if they had not been husband and wife, more flat mates, for the last few years? She had been brought up to believe that you married once, you stayed married. Lust didn’t last forever, but companionship did. There was no violence in their relationship, no reason for her to ever feel like she needed to walk away… but obviously this was not enough for Frank.

The usually calm Marie felt her blood boil. How dare he treat her like this? Live a double life, be meeting with another woman, and then still come back to their bed as if nothing was wrong?

She combed her fingers through her silver-flecked hair. He would pay for this… he had made her into a laughing stock. There had been mutual friends on his friends list on the social media site, and if there was all this posted on his profile, did he not realise every one could see? More to the point, why had no one ever broached this subject with her? Told her she was being made to look a fool…?

That weekend, he mentioned that he was off to the cabin for another fishing weekend with the guys… Hmm… really? This would take some effort on her part, but she had to go and find out if he was really soiling their family memories, by taking some floozy to their family cabin.

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And so, after a 4 hour drive, in the dark, she had arrived. Marie parked the car a short distance away and sidled up to the house. Careful not to be too obvious, she managed to peek in through a window, and saw them. A couple, sat on the sofa, their sofa, his arm around her shoulders, glass of wine in hand, laughing. Marie stepped back and stifled a sob. When was the last time they had sat like that, relaxed, sharing a drink?

She was engulfed by a sadness, so great, that she wanted to break down. Forcing herself to look again, she noticed the log fire burning in the grate, the light of the fire making the room glow, looking so romantic.

There was only so much she could torture herself. She went and sat back in the car, planning on driving back, but her hands were shaking so much, she couldn’t even turn the ignition.

Instead she sat and stared out at the woods, and the lake beyond. What had become of her life? Her children were busy in their lives, choosing to come home only when they needed something, her life filled with mundane details, but nothing of importance, and her husband, her bedmate, well, that’s all he had become now, someone who shared the bed with her, but nothing more.

Was this it? Was there anything she could do? Probably not. She had allowed her life to stagnate, and it had come to this. An empty life and a husband who had found happiness elsewhere, but was not even man enough to tell her.

Maybe he didn’t want to hurt her. He knew how she felt about marriage, and that you didn’t give up. Maybe, in his own twisted little way, he was trying to protect her…

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So, as the sun was starting its ascent, she took one final look at the cabin, and began to walk forward, one step after another, closer to the lake, then into it. She carried on walking and felt the water rising up her body. Her ankles, her shins, over the knees, on the thighs, lapping at her hips, waist, then covering her chest. She hesitated as the water reached her neck. No, she would do this. Once she was gone, he could have the life he wanted. He wouldn’t have to feel like he had made her break her belief about staying together. She would make that break for him.

The water went further up, over her mouth, nose, eyes… she blinked and then closed her eyes, forcing herself to stay down, to slowly let her breath out… “I’m sorry…..” She thought, as the seconds turned into minutes… she felt herself grow drowsy… things started to look grey….. things….

Hope you like it!