But I Smile Anyway…

It’s an out dated principle, granted. In the West, so many hear of this ‘caste’ system and are horrified.  Why would you judge someone to such an extent? In India, you have a HUGE caste system.  Everyone has heard of the ‘untouchables’, the slums in the cities, thanks to films like Slumdog Millionaire

I am by no means an expert on this topic, but have experienced a lot, seen and heard a lot over the years.

Our religion is Sikhism and our Gurus taught us to disown the Caste System, but still it’s there within Sikhi too.  Essentially the castes break down into groups of different types of work.  Some being viewed as a ‘higher’ level than others. I am part of a Jatt Sikh family.  This is generally viewed as one of the highest castes, not that it means much to me… basically, I am from a landowner and farming family.  Do we farm now? Nope.  My dad was a dentist, and my brother works in advertising, production and film making! My in-laws? Yup,.. they are Jatt too, but again, though he is now retired, FIL was working in a factory, and Hubby dearest and BIL are in sales and IT!

Admittedly, as a family we did have land, and both my mum and dad’s families carried on farming in Kenya when they went there, but coming over here, this wasn’t the case. And as for my in-laws, they still have land in India.  it is still farmed, but by someone else who rents the fields from us.  So there is still a level of Jatt-puna (means pride in being a Jatt) floating around the family!  When Hubby Dearest, and I met, and fell for each other, it was never the most important thing for me, but it was an added bonus as we were the same caste, so for others who may have found a ‘love marriage’ a bit hard to swallow, the fact that we were the right caste was a balm to ease this ‘naughtiness’! So I got off quite lightly in the end… the fact that our families were from different districts in the Punjab, and the comments that followed that particular debate, well that’s a WHOLE other post!

My Pops has always viewed all castes as equal.  He is a very spiritual person, he believes in Sikhism wholeheartedly, and he takes the words of the Gurus very seriously. This means that my brother and I have grown up with this whole issue being not very important, race, colour, creed, caste, it matters none.  What matters is the person you are, and your heart.  We have had weddings in the family in the past where people have married outside of the caste, and there have been various looks of horror, and furtive whisperings about how this could have happened.  My Pops would be asked, as one of the elder male members of the family, of his opinion.  From the beginning he said “Who am I to cast an opinion on what a child is doing, and whether it is right or wrong?  I don’t know what my own children will do in the future.  All I hope is that they will be happy, and embrace God.”  And he was right to do so… Ok, so I married within the expected ‘range’ but my brother took it to a whole other level.  Not Sikh, but a Christian, Finnish bride!  And what a beautiful union they have made too!  And Pops and mum accepted my new SIL into the family with open arms.  And we have a beautiful Finn-dian/Finn-jabi baby nephew to add to the family, as a result too!

Marry within our religion, that is what is hoped, at least, and for the most part we, in my family, all have.  But we have had a few who jumped ship!  But the respect for their religion is still there.  I remember a cousin who married out of caste, and her aunt was very disapproving, and very verbal about this too. It made for an uncomfortable atmosphere… then a few years later, her own son married someone not ever Sikh, or brown-skinned!  She was so ashamed of her words to her own niece that she felt he had to disown her son for doing this.  It took many years and a near tragedy to make her realise that her son was more important than her outdated beliefs.

Ok, so marriages and inter caste, or inter-faith, that’s my take.

When we go back to India, with my in-laws, we go and stay at the family home. As soon as you arrive, the whole caste system is apparent, wherever you go there, in India.  The higher castes in their fancy cars, swanning around, and heaven forbid if any lower caste person was to get in their way, let alone touch them! The lower castes trying to sell wares by the roadside, or begging. An accident happens… if it was a beggar, or someone who looks low-caste, them they are just left on the streets, until some good Samaritan arrives on the scene to help, or left to their own fate.  If it was someone affluent looking then there are swarms of onlookers, and all the relevant authorities and emergency services are called.  What so a low-caste person is no longer a human?

We get back to the village, and we have a lovely young girl who comes to clean and do our laundry. I say young, she is younger than me, but with around 5 children.  She happily cleans and does all that needs doing and that is required, coming early in the morning, and then going back to her family, then revisiting 2-3 times to refresh everything.  She works hard, to get her few rupees.  But the one thing she cannot do, in our house, anyway, is touch the food, or cook for us.  Because she is from one of the lowest of the castes.  It’s not my in-laws who say this, but the rest of the village.  Things have happened before. We used to have another girl come to work here, an she was from a less fortunate family. M MIL treated her as one of the children, letting her watch TV, eat with us, taking her out as well.

But apparently, this spoiled her, so after my in-laws would come back, the girl and her family became too big for their boots, expecting the same treatment from everyone else. But no one else in the village would do this, as they were Low Caste.

Due to various reasons, she no longer comes to our house but this other girl does, and for fear of the same thing happening, and the back lash from the villagers, MIL and FIL treat her well, but are cautious. We send food home with her for her and her family, I even save my children’s clothes that they outgrow, and MIL takes them for her kids. When we go over there from here, it is hard to see the way these apparently ‘lower castes’ are treated…

The reason? Because in our world, back in the UK and other western countries, this caste system means nothing. The ‘street and sewage cleaner’ from the village is a successful business man here who has made millions, while the ‘Jatt Farmer’ is unemployed or working as a cleaner himself in some office building, to make ends meet.

Yet, even here, there is still some sort of caste system.. It’s not called that, but you have your upper class, middle class, working class, the unemployed, on benefits that have their own tag, and the immigrants.

When will people stop looking at others with this ‘tag’ system,’ and realise that we are all equal, all human, and that we all deserve the same chances.  There will always be rich and poor, unfortunately, but this doesn’t mean that a poor ‘low caste’ person doesn’t have pride, just the same as a rich ‘high caste’ doesn’t automatically deserve lauding, if he hasn’t actually done anything!

Judge on personality and ability, not on some out dated system that has no real meaning any more.