Tidbit Tuesday – Coitus Interruptus – shout out to all you parents!

12 Jan 2016 165 Comments

by Ritu in Thoughts Opinions & Memories Tags: , , , , , , , ,


Mums (and dads) out there, you all know what I’m talking about…

Lights finally turned down low, you might have even prepared in advance with a fresh shave, new lingerie… Or more likely, you’ve realised that tonight, you actually have a soupçon of energy left, after a busy day of mum chores, and well, it’s about time you gave your man access to his marital rights… It’s been so long, you’re not actually sure things are still working down there, so time to check it out.

You give your partner the sign, the nudge, to let him know you are ready, willing and able, and hopefully he’s not already fallen asleep, used to the reccurent knock backs!


Ok, so now it’s time to get the party started! You kiss like teens, and get ready for the Main Event. And it’s all systems go!

Oh you forgot how good this feels! There, right there! Yes! That’s it, a little more!

And then it happens. You know what I mean. That little creak, that far too familiar sound of a certain bedroom door opening and closing, and footsteps. You have timed this before, so fast as lightning, you pull apart, clothes restored, and that caring voice comes into play… “Aw sweetie! What’s the matter? Bad dream? Let’s tuck you up again.”

Peace and tranquility restored. You go back to the Main Event, hoping to finish what you started. You know you’re on a time limit so, fast as lightning you get back to getting jiggy, hoping to reach the climax you require, before any more interruptions. Sometimes it happens, and all is well, you are both sated, and a further uninterrupted night follows. Or other other happens… Your midnight visitor comes back… Twofold this time because the other one woke up too!

“Mummy, Daddy, I can’t sleep, I keep on hearing noises… There’s a ghost moaning in the house!” ( note to self, silent sex is a much better idea when kids are in the house!)

Defeatedly you throw open the covers of your bed, resigned to no more action that night…


But can I just say, a much more scary notion now… One child has had The Talk at school, and kinda knows what it’s all about! Can you imagine him/her computing this situation, with a whole load of new information to colour his thoughts! No no no!!!


I shall sign out here on this Tidbit Tuesday, and let you ponder on these thoughts….

But a tip… If you want an uninterrupted night of passion…. Get rid of the kids!  Send the kids to their grandparents for the night! Though saying that, often, when this does happen, I’m asleep before I know it, grateful for the chance of a full night’s uninterrupted sleep!!!! Poor Hubby Dearest!!!!

165 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. actualconversationswithmyhusband
    May 11, 2017 @ 17:03:01

    Yup. Add in a dog with the coldest nose in the known universe and cats who can open doors and this right here is why I’m so cranky.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  2. emfletche
    May 11, 2017 @ 13:40:07

    My mom gave great pleasure in telling me that they “christened” my bedroom the night I moved out…urgghh, thanks folks 😀

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

  3. Traci York
    May 11, 2017 @ 13:27:02

    giggle giggle snort

    During a conversation with our girls a few years back (both teens at that time), they mentioned they were so relieved they’d never “walked in” on us. If they only knew (and thank the stars they don’t)! ROTFLMAO!

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

  4. Em Linthorpe
    May 11, 2017 @ 13:08:30

    Hahaha! I find that the worst thing about this whole situation, is that sometimes you have to plan ahead for any “action time”…this is an instant mood killer for me! I find it hard to get in the mood if I know it’s expected of me at a certain time 😂

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  5. R. Todd
    Jan 16, 2016 @ 19:56:15

    The ghost in the house comment had me laughing out loud. I remember those days, now both of mine are out of the house and we are empty nesters. Ok, so I might be bragging about that. But those darn ghosts. Too funny.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  6. New Journey
    Jan 14, 2016 @ 14:30:52

    I can remember those days….it always happened in the shower for us…when the kids were engrossed in a game or program one of us would go take a shower the other had to go use the bathroom….wham bam thank you man ..nothing like a quickie in the shower…LOL I hate to say it but I miss those days…so enjoy them as the little ones will be grown and gone before you know it….kat

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  7. Souldiergirl
    Jan 13, 2016 @ 06:32:06

    Omgosh you have me cracking up!! You’re hilarious- spot on Ritu! Yes that’s exactly it- the door creak. You’re awesome 😂😂😂☺️

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  8. Elm
    Jan 12, 2016 @ 18:45:20

    Oh GOODNESS that must be horrendous! Poor kids when they realise, but mostly, poor you! Could you imagine the conversations?

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  9. Geetha B
    Jan 12, 2016 @ 17:31:31

    This was truly hilarious. Loved it and have been through similar circumstances but it is rather a knock on the door as we used to keep the door locked and open it if there was a problem.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  10. syl65
    Jan 12, 2016 @ 15:43:46

    Too funny! 😂

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

  11. The V-Pub
    Jan 12, 2016 @ 14:51:48

    Lately my dog has been whining to come into the room. Unlike kids, there’s no pause, just a hairy beast jumping up spontaneously. He needs some boundaries. 😀

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

  12. Jim
    Jan 12, 2016 @ 14:28:45

    hehehehehehehe. ghost moaning. uh huh. sure it was a ghost. more likely it was Mum. 😉

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

  13. Somali K Chakrabarti
    Jan 12, 2016 @ 13:56:15

    Lol ..this is the standard story that nobody tells. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

  14. vanbytheriver
    Jan 12, 2016 @ 13:05:50

    That last cartoon had me laughing, Ritu. ☺ This never happened to us, actually. We always kept the door locked, and my kids never strayed from their room during the night. Maybe only when sick, which thankfully, didn’t happen that often. We were fortunate.

    My parents kept all the bedroom doors open, and I heard a lot growing up…so I was always sensitive about sounds and noises. ❤️

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

  15. Erika Kind
    Jan 12, 2016 @ 12:12:43

    Haha… remembered that one… lol! Even worse when they are already “educated”. This one tells a similar story: https://erikakind.wordpress.com/2015/07/21/tidbit-tuesday-the-visitor/

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

  16. Tim Gatewood
    Aug 22, 2015 @ 17:59:45

    This happens when the only “children” are fur-kids (cats or dogs), too. They all know when the adults want some alone time and it bothers them at some level. I have to close the door just to use the bathroom in peace. Funny post! Thanks for the chuckles. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  17. Ad Dawg
    Aug 18, 2015 @ 06:38:49

    Ritu, this post was so very, very “real” and it had me laughing and remembering. Really great post! Thanks for sharing….

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

  18. Ritu
    Aug 13, 2015 @ 17:46:10

    Kids eh!!!! 😊 I don’t have locks!!!!!

    Like

    Reply

  19. J.Gi Federizo
    Aug 13, 2015 @ 17:35:06

    Well, that was funny, and totally realistic :p Good thing our kids sleep really deep. They are often hard to send to bed, but once asleep, they sleep like logs.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

    • Ritu
      Aug 13, 2015 @ 17:36:47

      My son is like that, it’s Lil Princess who is the interrupt Queen!!!!!

      Like

      Reply

      • J.Gi Federizo
        Aug 13, 2015 @ 17:43:32

        Locking the door is really necessary, then unlock after. They don’t normally wake up (like I said, they sleep like logs), but keeping the door unlocked is still for precaution’s sake, especially because I am told the bigger kid has a history of sleepwalking (I said I am told because they’re not mine biologically, just my hubby’s, and they didn’t grow up at our house). Also, I tend to not sleep directly beside the littler one — he moves A LOT.

        Liked by 1 person

  20. Alice
    Aug 13, 2015 @ 13:06:44

    Ever heard of long lunches? Apparently not!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  21. Ellen Hawley
    Aug 13, 2015 @ 09:25:05

    The wonder of it all is that so many families have more than one child.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

  22. Opinionated Man
    Aug 12, 2015 @ 22:19:04

    Reblogged this on HarsH ReaLiTy and commented:

    Is that what the “nudge” is for? Here I thought I was being told I was taking up her feet space in the bed… -OM
    Note: Comments disabled here, please visit their blog.

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply

  23. wafflemethis
    Aug 12, 2015 @ 13:35:15

    Hahaa I think we’ve all been there sis.☺

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

  24. blondieaka
    Aug 12, 2015 @ 07:24:55

    Ha Ha that post has bought back memories but the one time we wasn’t(true) but he was telling me a funny story and we both really laughing ..voices from the garden( kids were a tad older) ” Could you be quiet you are embarassing us, our friends can hear you” oooppps and we were only laughing but they thought different 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  25. sheldonk2014
    Aug 12, 2015 @ 02:32:47

    You are a trip my friend
    Is there no topic you won’t expose

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

  26. Bhramori
    Aug 11, 2015 @ 19:17:50

    LOL! XD XD

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  27. amaya911
    Aug 11, 2015 @ 18:17:13

    LOL. Yeah the action happens when my son’s staying with my grandparents. I don’t want him hearing the bed move and noise LOL. He’s been staying with my grandparents a lot of the summer so luckily this hasn’t been a problem. I think the 30’s is when women begin to reach their sexual peak.It’s insane! LOL. My man gets mad when my monthly visitor comes into town!

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

  28. IamrealJazz
    Aug 11, 2015 @ 18:02:13

    *Kids…..

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  29. IamrealJazz
    Aug 11, 2015 @ 18:01:32

    I have tried that 1 time. My sleep when they have said goodnight. So my husband and I have all night to ourselves 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    • Ritu
      Aug 11, 2015 @ 18:08:51

      Oh I try that Jazz, but tgecthing us, my daughter, especially, has a habit of waking in the middle of the night, or some times just a couple of hours after sleeping! You never know with her!!

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  30. Silver Threading
    Aug 11, 2015 @ 17:43:13

    This was fabulous! I am still laughing! I remember those days! Hey, it’s great when you get older. Nobody bothers you then! LOL! ❤

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

  31. Marissa Bergen
    Aug 11, 2015 @ 16:22:20

    After the kids get The Talk…all the more reason to avoid walking through that door… Which really should be locked, btw.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

  32. charlypriest
    Aug 11, 2015 @ 15:51:22

    This is why I don´t have kids, plus if I did they would not hear a ghost in the house they would probably hear mommy singing the “yankee dooddle dee”, then try to explain that later on to the kid, they´d eventually would have to go to therapy in latter years which by the way I would have to pay

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  33. edwinasepisodes
    Aug 11, 2015 @ 14:34:22

    Ha! This made me laugh as we have all had little visitors that choose just the wrong moment to appear! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  34. The V-Pub
    Aug 11, 2015 @ 13:55:36

    My boys are now in their early teens and thankfully avoid my room at all costs! lol

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  35. susieshy45
    Aug 11, 2015 @ 13:13:56

    Ritu,
    Wonder what happens to the lives of grandparents who want to have some intimate time themselves and have all these grand kids, whom they can’t refuse over ?

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  36. Mon (Imma girl)
    Aug 11, 2015 @ 13:09:50

    You know, in our similar culture, it’s almost as if sex between married couples don’t happen at all (without the need for procreation, that is). It just confuses me :I People don’t tell or teach or anything :/

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  37. Al The Author
    Aug 11, 2015 @ 13:03:20

    Yep, been there, living that!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  38. Jim
    Aug 11, 2015 @ 12:41:45

    you only need to worry when the cat comes bounding in with that ‘WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON???” look on its face. now that’s embarrassing.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

  39. Charles Yallowitz
    Aug 11, 2015 @ 12:15:16

    Kind of makes one wonder how people get two kids with only 2-4 years between them. Love that comic.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  40. Erika Kind
    Aug 11, 2015 @ 12:08:22

    😂😂😂 I sooo hear you, Ritu!!! When kids are in the house one ear is always out the door… except that one time when you think nothing can happen… lol
    You are right, silent sex is better when kids are in the house (although less the pleasure). Learned that too when our son complaint “Could you please wait until I fall asleep? I heard it three times already!” Ooops, wasn’t aware of that. 😱 He was 12 or 13 back then. So pretty much aware. Your comic reminded me on that… lol

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

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