The One Where Doogie Howzer (Indian Edition) Almost Delivered My Baby! #BirthStories

Recently, I have read a few really lovely birth stories on various blogs, and it prompted me to reminisce on my blog about my own!

Some of you may know, and the newer followers may not, but my pregnancies didn’t come easy.

After a year of unsuccessful trying, I was diagnosed with PCOS, and it took another year, give or take, to fall pregnant finally,

You can read about it here, in my post When Will Someone Call Me Mummy?

After the struggle to get there, my first pregnancy was absolutely perfect. No morning sickness, no real tiredness, just a healthy bump that grew strong.

I was one week away from my maternity leave. The plan was that I would leave two weeks prior to my due date so I could relax, and well, you know, first babies never came on time, so I would probably get longer to enjoy the sleep-filled nights before baby came along.

How wrong was I?

I remember sitting at my desk the Monday before I was to finish work. Going about my business, as you do, when I felt a slight wetness. I waddled to the loo.

Strange, I didn’t remember sneezing, but then it was summer, and hayfever was around, so maybe…

The day passed with no further incident and I came home.

I hauled my bump upstairs to put my bags away and then went to the loo where I discovered more fluid.

Now I knew I hadn’t sneezed! Hubby had just gone to the gym too.

My phone beeped with a text from my friend: Hey! How you doing? I had a dream you had your baby and it was a boy!

I messaged her back: You might be psychic. I think my waters broke!

She called straight back: “Oh My God! What are you doing? Have you left for the hospital?”

I reassured her that I was fine (this baby wasn’t coming for at least three weeks, remember!) and that I would call the relevant people and rang off.

Then I wondered what to do. I called my mum.

Me: Mum, what happened when your waters broke?

Mum: I don’t know, you were a caesarean birth and they broke mine with your brother…

Me: Oh, you’re no good!

Mum: Why?

Me: Because I think mine might just have!

Mum: Oh my! What are you doing? Does Hubby know? Have you told your mother in law?

Er… nope.

Another call finished and I rang Hubby Dearest’s phone where it went to answerphone: Er, hi babe, don’t worry, but I think my waters just broke. Don’t hurry back, it’s okay, but we may need to visit a hospital sooner or later…

Then I waddled downstairs to my mum in law and got her all in a fluster too!

It was just me that seemed calm. After all, there were no pains and just a little fluid.

I did call the hospital though, to get advice, and was told that if, by 2pm the following day (that would be 24 hours after the first feeling of wetness) nothing had happened, or pains hadn’t started, to come in.

Then I called my manager. He was sat at an event.

Me: Hi, I’m so sorry, but I don’t think I can come in tomorrow…

Manager: Oh no! Are you okay?

Me: [nonchalantly] Oh yeah, I’m fine, I just might be about to have the baby…

Manager: [shouting to the others around the table he was sat at] Ritu’s baby is coming! [Bacl to me] Don’t you worry about a thing! Go, have that baby and we’ll see you soon for a cuddle!

Hubby Dearest arrived back in a panic from the gym, and I needed to calm him down, explaining that the baby was en route, but not due to arrive imminently, so he needed to chillax! (Along with everyone else in the family who was now calling constantly, even though we hadn’t even gone to the hospital yet!)

By bedtime, there was still nothing. I slept, rather like the Princess and the Pea, but on top of around fifteen towels, in case there were any more leakages!

And 6.30am came. Hubby Dearest’s alarm went off.

HD: So, nothing?

Me: Nope.

HD: So… maybe I’d be okay to pop into work for a little bit? We don’t need to be at the hospital until 2pm you said…

Me: Yeah, that’s if something doesn’t happen sooner!

HD: But, I could go to this meeting and be back by 11…

Me: I don’t think so!

HD: Why?

Me: [lifts duvet to reveal a tiny swimming pool that had just appeared] I think things are about to happen!

It was rather comical, the scene that followed. Me, with towels draped around me, dripping, and between my legs, trying to crab walk with some dignity, and my bump, to the bathroom. (Remember, we still lived with my in-laws at this stage) Stepping into the bath, I’d rinse myself, only for the baby to move, releasing more fluid. I gave up and just stood there laughing, like a mad woman.

But still, no pains.

It ended up that we went in at 2pm, as requested, and after all the main checks, I was laid down, so the doctor could come and check me. (Here’s where Doogie Howser comes in!)

The doctor arrived and he was a short, young Indian guy. And when I say young, I mean his baby face was totally reminiscent of the original boy doctor, Doogie Howser!

Image result for doogie howser

I only just found out he was Neil Patrick Harris lol!


The guy also seemed to have a bit of a complex with treating Indian women. Maybe he was used to all female mothers-to-be who were brown-skinned to be fresh off the boat, from India, unable to speaka da lingo? (There are a lot of guys here who marry girls from back home) They were too shy to speak to other males and would wait for their other halves to communicate with the Doctor -Saab. But no, I was born and bred here, I knew how to speak to him, yet he insisted on telling Hubby Dearest everything, rather than looking at me, and reassuring me.

Apparently, the fluid was out, but contractions hadn’t started naturally, so they would need to induce me if a sweep didn’t kickstart anything.

Then the midwife arrived to insert a cannula into the back of my hand, ready for the various drips they would need to induce me if the sweep didn’t work. She tried several times, but couldn’t get the needle into my vein, missing but allowing spurts of my blood to shoot across the labour room… It hurt!

AND (yes, capitals, because the doctor was annoying me already, the midwife had drained half of my blood, inadvertently, and this just took the biscuit) Wimbledon was on.

I had been admitted into my own room, and it was rather cosy, with an armchair for him, a room with a view, and a TV.

So, whilst Doogiejit Howser-ji was fiddling about with my nether regions, checking everything, he was also having a great tennis-inspired chat with Hubby Dearest!

All the while, I’m laying there prone, unable to move because I was attached to foetal heartbeat monitors, wanting the doctor to speak to ME!

Time moved slowly, as did my dilation. This baby was quite comfortable, fluid or not.

Then as the sweep hadn’t worked I was given the seratonin drip to start the contractions.

No one told me that contractions that come as a result of drugs really HURT! Even more severe than your natural ones (I know, I’ve experienced both!) It’s all because you are forcing your body to do something it thinks it’s not ready to do.

But I was hoping to go au naturel… no drugs who am I kidding? Gas and Air, Pethadene? Anything!

The gas was fantastic. It left me all giggly and nearly killed the pain. I remember it being evening, around 8pm and Eastenders had been on. I’d giggled through the episode, sucking away at the gas, only to make myself feel nauseous!

The midwife came in to check on me. She advised me to leave the gas for a while, and she called the anaesthetist.

I was writhing in pain every time a contraction rode over me, but as I was so tense with the pain, I wasn’t dilating quickly either. I needed something STRONG!

A lovely Indian lady anaesthetist arrived (not Doogie Howser-like at all! Thankfully, at 7pm the shifts changed and another doctor was now on duty as well as this woman) and she came over to me, stroking my brow, like a mother. “There, there now Rati”, (she gave me her own little nickname) She crooned in Hindi. ” They don’t want me to give you anything because there are not enough midwives, but I can see you are in a lot of pain. If you want, I can arrange it.” (It pays to speaka da lingo sometimes!)

And before you knew it, all the paperwork had been signed, and I was sat up having this HUGE needle inserted in my spinal cord!

And the relief I felt!

Oh, it rushed over me like a wave. My legs, up in stirrups as another doctor came to give me the once-over, felt like two legs of ham that I was poking, because I couldn’t feel a thing. It was bliss!

I soon fell asleep, exhausted from all the lying around, the pain, the headache that the gas had given me… surrounded by Hubby Dearest, a great midwife, who had to stay with me as I had had the epidural, and a student midwife, just to make up the numbers. Oh, and the doctor who periodically popped in. Quite a party!

When I woke I was nearly ready. It was past 2am now.

The epidural had helped to relax me enough to allow nature to finally take its course. Only, baby’s heartbeat kept disappearing.

The doctor (he was a lovely doctor, he spoke to me, to my face, not the TV screen, or to Hubby Dearest) wanted permission to go in and use a needle to extract fluid from the baby’s head. He was worried baby was in distress.

Of course, we agreed to whatever they felt was the safest.

He disappeared to scrub up and I braced myself for the possibility of a caesarean.

As the doctor arrived and went in for the sample, he stopped.

Doctor: “No. No time. This baby is coming NOW!”

Obviously, I couldn’t feel a thing, but the contractions had been coming hard and fast and baby was crowning.  They need to get him out fast.

Doctor: [watching the foetal monitor] Okay, when I say go, push, as hard as you can! Right… GO! I said push!

Me: I am pushing!

Doctor: No you’re not!

Me: I’m sorry, I can’t feel a thing!

He got over the ‘can’t feel it’ thing with the use of a venteuse. But the suction cap kept slipping. This baby had so much hair they couldn’t get the plunger-like contraption to stick to his head!

Then the forceps came out. I am so glad I couldn’t see any of this.

Moments later, the doctor held the baby up.

Doctor: Congratulations! Baby is okay, the cord was around the neck but we just slipped it over the head.

He passed baby to the midwife who brought our little bundle to us, and wrapped the baby gently.

Hubby Dearest and I just sat there staring at this little being, totally unaware of what was happening the other end [clean up and stitches] mesmerised by the little fingers, the ton of hair…

Midwife: So, don’t you want to know what you’ve had?

Hubby Dearest and I looked at each other. Our dream of having our very own baby had come true, we’d totally forgotten to ask whether it was a son or a daughter. Just a baby was enough for us!

She lifted the wrap and the leg gently.

Midwife: It’s a boy.

There were tears, there was laughter, then there was toast and tea. I was ravenous!

Hubby Dearest went out to call the family and let them know that the new addition had arrived finally then came back to cradle his firstborn.

I lay there, not sore yet [that epidural was great!] but exhausted, watching him sitting, keeping watch over our little miracle, as I drifted off to sleep…

Image may contain: one or more people

Presenting Lil Man!

And there you have it, my fun birth experience!

Don’t worry, the second one had it’s fair share of silly moments too! Maybe I’ll treat you to that one soon… it’ll be entitled The One Where Madonna Advised Me About My Labour. (Yes, really!)


81 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Trackback: The One Where Madonna (Gravesend Edition) Advised Me About My Labour! #BirthStories | But I Smile Anyway...
  2. Hannah Fouassier
    Aug 23, 2018 @ 09:17:56


    Liked by 1 person


  3. thenotsosupermum1
    Aug 19, 2018 @ 17:51:55

    Lol, definitely want to hear the next birth story! Xx

    Liked by 1 person


  4. EsmeSalon (@EsmeSalon)
    Aug 18, 2018 @ 15:12:40

    Reading your post transported me back some ±35 years to my firstborn.
    I had a very similar medical experience. A day with catering and having visitors from early morning to late at night before the due date. Cleaning up and as the water kept dripping more and more, I told hubby that this seems to be the time, although 3 days early. At 2 am we rushed to the hospital with 5-minute intervals as we were told to do. After we ended up in the hospital, intervals went down to 3-minutes and then it just went on and on. Nothing further. I ended up with a drip and epidural in the early hours of the morning after meds that made me sleep. I had to try to push but nothing happened and as my baby girl started to have a hard time (heart racing) I was wheeled in for a C-section at 3 pm in the afternoon. With our second, a boy, they just booked me 3 weeks prior to due date for a C-section as I was told that due to me not being able to deliver our firstborn naturally due to her size, and this boy even bigger by more than 2 pounds and coming into this world over 10 pounds, they will not allow anything but a C-section. Well all ended well, and we now have 2 wonderful kids, already adults with their own kiddies.

    Liked by 1 person


  5. hotmessmemoir
    Aug 16, 2018 @ 23:44:00

    Girl you kept calmer than I would have! What the heck? I would have been so scared!

    Liked by 1 person


  6. LadyPamelaRose
    Aug 16, 2018 @ 22:00:29

    What a lovely story!!! I was so happy to see the picture of your little guy…he’s so cute!! Congratulations! oxox

    Liked by 1 person


  7. Lisa Orchard
    Aug 16, 2018 @ 13:24:34

    Awesome story, Ritu! It reminds me of my first birth. My son’s heartbeat kept disappearing, too. Every time I had a contraction so I had to have a cesarean. Oh what an experience! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person


  8. Ritu
    Aug 16, 2018 @ 12:12:47

    Thank you! Natural… But not without help 😉



  9. Image Earth Travel
    Aug 16, 2018 @ 12:09:28

    What a great story and hats off to you for going through with a natural birth.

    Liked by 1 person


  10. Debbie Harris
    Aug 16, 2018 @ 12:04:17

    Oh Ritu, I really enjoyed your story particularly as I’m sitting here with my daughter who is 37 weeks pregnant today!! Hopefully she can last the distance 😊

    Liked by 1 person


  11. You Can Always Start Now
    Aug 16, 2018 @ 10:34:22

    I can picture it. Looking forward to the next one – hope she gave good advice.

    Liked by 1 person


  12. lollowe
    Aug 16, 2018 @ 10:31:53

    oh my life – I had sympathy cramps reading this 😀 I’d have had a rage at that dr – I remember I did get quite sweary when the anaesthetist took too long to turn up to give me an epidural!

    Liked by 1 person


  13. A Girl and Her Passport
    Aug 16, 2018 @ 10:15:10

    You were so calm! I’m impressed.

    Liked by 1 person


  14. chissecretdiary
    Aug 16, 2018 @ 10:08:30

    OMG, I laughed so hard and then cried with joy by the end. My man and I are in the thought process of should we or should we not have a baby at this moment in time. Thinking of all the pain I don’t think I want to handle it, but then reading that end bit makes me feel that I might be missing on something. Either way, This blog post is beautiful and I want to read the other one! haha

    Liked by 1 person


  15. fancypaperblog
    Aug 16, 2018 @ 10:05:33

    What is It about birth stories? I love them! Beautiful new baby pics are the best too.

    Liked by 2 people


  16. Sheryl
    Aug 16, 2018 @ 09:12:52

    This story kept me entertained and reading til the end, although I’m sure it was not so amusing when it was happening! 😉

    Liked by 1 person


  17. willowdot21
    Aug 15, 2018 @ 17:15:49

    Phew! Sis what a chapter of events 💜💜💜

    Liked by 1 person


  18. OIKOS™-Redaktion
    Aug 15, 2018 @ 12:35:29

    What a wonderful story. Great written, and with this smile you are known for. Thank you, Ritu! Thats also entertainment as its best. 😉 Michael

    Liked by 1 person


  19. dray0308
    Aug 15, 2018 @ 11:23:52

    Reblogged this on Dream Big, Dream Often.

    Liked by 1 person


  20. samfiftysomething
    Aug 15, 2018 @ 11:14:22

    Oh I read that while crossing my legs! And that doctor!!! Good grief! It is amazing how each birth is different and yeah some of your story was very near to mine experience, especially the fact that I interrupted my hubby of that times’ viewing of the snooker final LOL. Great post!

    Liked by 1 person


  21. Losing the Plot
    Aug 14, 2018 @ 19:12:44

    Oh wow! One or two parallels in that story with my own experience. I also had to be induced. Ouch!

    Liked by 1 person


  22. pranabaxom
    Aug 14, 2018 @ 14:56:48

    This reminds me of our first born. Nearly lost my wife. It was a miracle that she survived and had two more.

    Liked by 1 person


  23. scr4pl80
    Aug 14, 2018 @ 14:46:21

    Great story. All three of mine needed inducing to make an appearance so I don’t know what “regular” contractions feel like. Also, no meds for me since I decided to wait until I really couldn’t stand it and when I asked for the epidural they said it was “too late.” Once I did the first one drug free I figured I could do all the rest that way too! Crazy, right?

    Liked by 1 person


  24. syl65
    Aug 14, 2018 @ 14:15:17

    Wow, epic Sister!!

    Liked by 1 person


  25. Radhika Acharya
    Aug 14, 2018 @ 13:49:59

    Oh my what a journey!!! Ritu Congratulations on a historic delivery!!! And it was a boy as in your friend’s dream!! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person


  26. Annette Rochelle Aben
    Aug 14, 2018 @ 13:27:31

    Laughed, cried, and am so glad that I know you. God Bless you, Sis! ❤

    Liked by 1 person


  27. Dan Antion
    Aug 14, 2018 @ 11:35:33

    I’m going to stick with “I’m glad everything turned out well” “-)

    Liked by 1 person


  28. rachaelstrayrachael stray
    Aug 14, 2018 @ 11:14:42

    Wow Ritu talk about a bit of drama! I am also imagining you doing the crab shuffle of dignity to the bathroom!!

    Liked by 1 person


  29. Dorinda Duclos
    Aug 14, 2018 @ 07:50:48

    A lovely story, Ritu. but what’s with the doctor. Shame on him, no bedside manner!! Your telling of ‘the party” in the room with you made me laugh. My pregnancy with my daughter was induced,and it was changing of the guards, and I was the only one delivering, so there were a total of seven of us, two doctors, three nurses, hubby and me, all waiting for Alyssa LOL Boy was I happy when that show ended. Sheesh, no privacy!!

    Liked by 1 person


  30. Erika Kind
    Aug 14, 2018 @ 07:20:42

    What a journey… and look at your family and your already big kids today.

    Liked by 1 person


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