#SoCS April 10, 2021 – Difference

10 Apr 2021 38 Comments

by Ritu in #SoCS Tags: , , , , , ,

Linda’s #SoCS challenge this week:

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “difference.” Whatever the word “difference” conjures first in your mind, write about it. Enjoy!

What a difference a day makes.

That is a line from a song, yes, but it also holds such a lot of truth in it, too.

Take yesterday, and today, for example. (forgive me, I write this on Friday evening, so it is ready for Saturday.)

Yesterday, I woke so early, at 3.30am, so I could be present for the funeral of my uncle, who passed away in Australia. So, time difference pending, I was up at the crack of dawn, armed with my phone and laptop. I connected with the family via WhatsApp video call, so I, along with my parents, and my other uncle and aunt in Kenya, and other key family members, could be there when Mamaji (my uncle) was brought home, as is the custom with our final goodbyes. We were present, but not, if you know what I mean.

Still, it meant a lot that we were able to attend this occasion in a way that a few years back, would have been nigh on impossible to .

After, that I switched from phone to laptop, so we could follow the live streaming at the chapel of rest, where the cremation was going to take place. Again, another miracle of technology allowing us to hear the words spoken about Mamaji, and to see the rest of the family who were there.

By 6.30 am, I was shattered. Emotionally, mentally and physically, I was drained.

So, after a cup of tea, and some breakfast, I climbed the stairs and joined the rest of the family in a couple of restless hours of sleep.

The rest of the day drifted by, as I tried to get my energy up, not with much success.

Fast forward to today, a day later.

I slept solidly, last night, for a good eight hours. I had no alarm to wake me, as it is Easter break. And I woke feeling positive, energetic and happy.

That one day, filled with sadness, but also, relief that Mamaji was on his final journey, so different to today, where I feel at peace.

I sat and looked at photos of him, today.

Mamaji wanted none of that extended mourning that is typical of Indian families. He said, specifically, “Cry for me, if you have to, for a couple of days. After that, smile. Remember all the good times. Don’t be sad I’m gone, be happy we were together”. He even requested that everyone should wear bright colours at the funeral, not the whites, creams and muted tones that are the norm. “Celebrate my life. I had a good one.”

Yesterday, those photos came with tears. Today, I could look at them with a smile on my face.

See, what a difference a day makes.

I do love this Tony Bennett version of this song, so I’ll share it, with you all, too.

38 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. willowdot21
    Apr 12, 2021 @ 08:08:15

    Beautiful Sis, I am so glad that you feel at peace now ….we all pass it’s part of life’s circle.💜

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  2. Jennie
    Apr 12, 2021 @ 02:32:34

    When it is my time, I will carry my words and thoughts just the same way Mamaji did. He was right. You had a roller coaster of two days. Thank goodness for technology so you could ‘be’ with your family. Tony Bennett singing is perfect for you, and for the prompt.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    • Ritu
      Apr 12, 2021 @ 08:37:04

      Thank you, Jennie. It was definitely a rollercoaster.
      My Pops always says similar, too. He’s very spiritual, and advises us to basically not cry because its over, but smile because it happened.
      Yet, this time, even his emotions were more evident than usual. He was close to my uncle, too. More than with some of his own siblings.
      But we managed to move on, celebrating his life, and saying farewell xx

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  3. OIKOS™-Editorial
    Apr 11, 2021 @ 19:25:12

    What a new way to say good bye. But its possible, and this is great. Usually the mourners are also useful to give each other comfort. You had to do this by yourself now. As you describe your uncle, it was a wonderful man. Blessings to the whole family, Sis! Michael

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  4. thereluctantpoet
    Apr 10, 2021 @ 16:14:14

    Reblogged this on The Reluctant Poet and commented:

    Come and Enjoy This!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  5. bookstopen
    Apr 10, 2021 @ 13:45:14

    It’s the memories that hold us to loved ones who have passed away. I’m glad you were able to connect long-distance with your family, Ritu.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

  6. pensitivity101
    Apr 10, 2021 @ 13:43:55

    May happy memories always linger Ritu.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  7. Keith
    Apr 10, 2021 @ 13:25:27

    Ritu, any post that ends with Tony Bennett doing a duet is a good one. it makes a “difference.” Keith

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  8. John W. Howell
    Apr 10, 2021 @ 13:14:47

    Memories have a way of healing, and as long as you have them, your Mamaji will be with you. Wishing you peace and sweet memories.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  9. Dan Antion
    Apr 10, 2021 @ 12:51:34

    That’s a great song to share, Ritu. I hope you’re having a wonderful weekend.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  10. Erika
    Apr 10, 2021 @ 12:06:25

    Although we know that it is only the body that dies, it is difficult to accept that it still is not the way it used to be. Much love to the whole family, sis 💖

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  11. Darlene
    Apr 10, 2021 @ 08:14:34

    I still haven’t wrapped my head around Mom being gone. It will become real when I eventually get back home and she won´t be there with her sweet smile. Your uncle had a great attitude. You will remember him fondly.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  12. lssattitudeofgratitude
    Apr 10, 2021 @ 06:02:08

    I understand your loss. When I look at photos of my aunt who recently passed I try to remember the lovely times we had, the calls we shared, and the history of my family’s customs. It is wonderful that technology allowed you to be present.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    • Ritu
      Apr 10, 2021 @ 08:39:16

      For all the pitfalls that technology and connectivity has introduced, there are also many huge benefits.
      Our memories play such an important part in helping us with our grief 🤗

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

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