Throwback Thursday #45 Bedtime Rituals

I thought I’d try out a new ‘thing’ this week, after reading some lovely posts that my blog sis Willow has been writing, following prompts from Lauren and Maggie. This week it is Maggie who has set the questions.

  1. Did you share a room with a sibling, or did you have a room of your own?

When we were younger, my brother and I shared a cosy little box room, with a bunk bed in it. I was on top and he was on the bottom, as the younger sibling. Obviousy, as we got older the sharing would have to swap. He was lucky enough to get his own room, as I moved out to a bigger room, but I ended up sharing with an older cousin who came to live with us for a few years, from Kenya, to continue her education. I may have had this larger room to myself for a short while, but it never lasted long, as another cousin came to stay, not long after. During the breaks in cousins who came to live with us, I would have that spare twin bed in my room, but it was the first place a guest was placed to sleep if they came over! I think university was the time I had my own room, finally, that no one else would be sharing!

2. Did you resist going to bed or did you go willingly?

I wasn’t too bad at going to bed. My brother was awful. However, whether I slept straight away, was another matter! I loved my bed, and still do, but I can while away hours, just reading into the night.

3. Did someone put you to bed, tuck you in, or read you a bedtime story?

When we were younger, my mum read stories to us. As I got older and learned to read myself, I would read my own book. But Mum and Pops always came and tucked us in and said goodnight.

4. Was there a religious component, like prayers, to your nighttime routine?

Yes, we would always recite a verse from the Guru Granth Sahib (we are Sikh) before bed, with Mum or Pops. I did it with my children, too.

5. Did you go to sleep immediately, or lie awake?

As I touched upon before, unless I was exhausted, I would read. When I was a little older I had a TV in my room, so sometimes I would watch programmes, first, then read, and then sleep.

6. Did you journal, read a book, talk on the phone or with your siblings, or watch television when you were supposed to be sleeping?

Everyone knew what a bookworm I was, even at a young age, so books were with me no matter where I was. I even had a torch under the cover to keep reading, after Mum had been round to tell us it was lights out time!

7. Did you ever sleepwalk?

No, I haven’t done that or talked in my sleep, and I am sure I would have been told, if I had, considering all the roommates I had!

8. Did you remember having dreams? If you dreamed, did you ever have bad dreams? Do you remember any dreams specifically?

There was a time when I used to have such vivid dreams that I would write what I remembered in a notebook I kept by the side of my bed. They were strange, long, very involved dreams that used to have so many aspects to them! When I was much younger, I remember there was a time I had a recurring bad dream about being left on a plane alone by my family. I would wake up screaming. It was a time there was strife going on in the wider family, and despite my parents trying to keep conversations from our ears, other members of the family weren’t so conscientious, and I think the overhead words were a trigger for this.

9. Were you afraid of the dark? Did you sleep with a nightlight or sneak into your sibling’s or parent’s room at night because you were afraid?

I am always so glad that I wasn’t one to be afraid of the dark. I loved it, in fact. What I hated were the awful polystyrene tiles on the ceiling, which meant that if a moth or a daddy-long legs managed to enter my room, I could hear them hitting the ceiling, and I would end up screaming out to my Pops to come and rescue me!

10. Did you have or attend sleepovers or slumber parties? Feel free to elaborate.

Having the huge family that we did, there were often sleepovers with them, or with cousins staying over (not the above ones, but other regular, live in this country cousins!) We would have midnight feasts and talk until late at night. I loved it! And I used to thoroughly enjoy staying at other peoples’ houses. I didn’t have school friends stay over, because we were quite far from the school, plus I think I was always worried that they would think our Indian household was a bit weird! Plus, half the time there wasn’t space! But I did like to stay over at theirs, so I could experience a true English family life for a night. It was an experience!

Well, that was fun! Shall I do it again, next week?

Spidey’s Serene Sunday – Part 381 – Attainment Vs. Progress

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“What is more important? How well they do, or how far they’ve come?”

Ritu Bhathal

Thank you, Spidey, for handing the mic over to me, today, since the above quote is something that is weighing heavily on my mind right now.

It is this time of year that all teachers or at least teachers of some year groups are under a different set of pressure than the usual.

Assessment time.

Data time.

Report time.

I know secondary schools are awaiting the GCSEs and A-Level Exams to finish, they they have to wait for the grades to be announced in August, but in Primary schools it is the time for the Key Stage One and Key Stage Two attainment data to be submitted (our school’s was just the other week) and this coming week, I have to, with my colleagues, submit the first data in two years to our Local Authority, for the Early Years Foundation Stage Profile.

We have to report on Attainment, which is whether a child has reached a particular level within many areas, or GLD, a Good Level of Development. Now, after a disrupted couple of years, this cohort included, data may look lower, across the board. This class managed a whole year in school but suffered lockdowns last year in their preschool year, and some didn’t even attend a nursery, because parental fear of Covid was, naturally, high. So there are still gaps in some children’s experiences meaning we have been trying to patch holes in their development, physically, as well as emotionally, before we could really see the difference in more academic subjects.

When we first inputted the data I felt deflated. We have worked so hard with these children, and I know they have worked tremendously hard, too. I spoke with our data guru, the Deputy Head, about my disappointment.

He pointed the obvious out, with regards to what we started with, compared to where we are now. And compared to the same official data of last year’s cohort, where they experienced two lockdowns. We are definitely on an upwards trajectory, however, I hate how this could reflect on the kids and us as a whole, because, as I said, everyone has worked their behinds off to support the children, school staff, and parents alike, as well as those little mites, themselves.

Then he said, (I am ad-libbing here, but it was the jist of the conversation!) “But, what about the progress? That’s the most important thing. And remember, just because we are submitting data now, it doesn’t mean they stop learning now. They still have over four weeks with you. More progress will be made in that time, too.”

And he is right.

The difference between Attainment data and Progress data is that while Attainment looks at whether children have met expected goals, Progress sees where they started and charts the steps they have made over the year, themselves. So a child who is at expected levels may have made the age-related expected steps of progress, (in our tracking system, five steps) but a child who doesn’t appear to have met these goals, may have started considerably lower, and still made five, or even six or seven steps of progress bringing them that much closer to the expected goal.

This is why I truly despise Assessment-based judgements, as we aren’t looking at an individual child and what their unique progress is. Instead, we have to judge on these sometimes unrealistic scales, which in the Reception year, assume that all children are at the tail end of their fifth year when some of my children aren’t even five yet.

Now, I am so proud of all these children who have, as all my pupils do, wormed their way into a permanent place in my heart. Those who have hit their targets deserve a big well done, but those who haven’t, have pushed themselves, and the progress data shows how far they have come, and that almost makes me even prouder of their achievements.

So, as. I step off my soap box, what do you think is more important – how well they do or how far they’ve come?

namaste

Wishing you a wonderfully peaceful Sunday, Peeps!

Spidey’s Serene Sunday – Part 380 – Happy Pops Day!

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“A daughter needs a dad to be the standard against which she will judge all men.”

Anon

Thank you, Spidey, for a wonderful quote to celebrate that special day, that is Father’s Day, here in the UK today.

Those of you who have been reading my blog for a while know what my father, affectionately known as Pops (formerly Papa), means to me.

He is my world, my inspiration, my support, my heart.

Growing up, I was never made to feel like I was anything other than perfect in his eyes, especially considering the comments that were made when I was born.

My parents had been married a couple of years with no signs of a baby arriving. And when I was due, my mum’s mum came over from Kenya to support my parents as they transitioned into parenthood. Many lamented that it was a waste of a trip for my grandmother, as a grandson would have been a much better result.

In fact, one woman was practically in mourning at the fact I had arrived and not a male version of myself, until Pops stopped her in her tracks and told her she should be ashamed of herself, being a woman herself, and saying such things about his little girl.

His sense of equality has always been there, with him showing the utmost respect to everyone around him, and working with my mum to form one of the most perfect partnerships in marriage, that I have ever seen.

Having lost his own parents at a very young age and having been brought up by his brother and sister-in-law, he always felt that mum, my brother and I were his first proper ‘own’ family. Those that were his, truly.

Pops, and mum, never let us want for anything. We were never spoiled, though, but that sense of always having enough was instilled in us from an early age, and we lived a blessed, though hectic, childhood filled with trips back to Kenya, and countless weddings, parties, babies being born, numerous visitors, and family staying with us. It could have been tough, but we never felt it because of our parents.

He’s a spiritual soul. Everyone who meets him feels that sense of calm exuding from him, and if you ever experience aPops hug, you’ll know what I mean.

He is an uncle to many, grandad to a small army, too, and even great grandad! (It’s traditional in our culture to not have great uncles and aunts and cousins once/twice removed. Rather, if your nephew or niece has children, they call you grandma/grandad, too… even I have a few! Oh, and your cousin’s kids are your nieces and nephews too. I have a HUGE family, filled with cousins, hence my parents extended status in relationships within the family!)

The love he shows is given back to him by all these youngsters; the respect he shows everyone, is returned to him tenfold.

Last year he even shocked me by reading my book. My Pops is not reader, by any stretch of the imagination., but he kept a paperback copy of my book beside his armchair in the living room from the moment I self-published it, wrapped in cellophane to protect it. He did try reading it at first, but couldn’t, then took the plunge again and even read through the mildly naughty bits this time, getting to the end.

That is love, you know. If you can read your daughter’s words, even though they make you a tad uncomfortable, and come through the other side, that really is love!

My first love – Pops

I always dreamed that I would have a husband like my Pops, and I have been so lucky to be blessed with my Hubby Dearest, who is different but so similar in his thinking. And he is a different but no less loving father to our two kids, who, as they pass through the difficult teenage years, test us daily but make us so proud. They are lucky to have a dad like him!

And though my Pops is further away from me than I would have liked, I have my father-in-law here, who I will be forever thankful too because, without him, I wouldn’t have my wonderful Hubby Dearest!

So, are you celebrating Father’s Day? My thoughts are with those whose fathers are no longer with them or those with absent fathers. Is there another male in your life who you thought of as a father?

namaste

Wishing you a wonderfully peaceful Sunday, Peeps!

Marriage Unarranged #BookTour The Final Day! – Ritu Bhathal

It’s the final day of the book tour, Peeps! Thank you for sticking with me on this journey! Pop over to my other blog to see what today had in store for me and Marriage Unarranged!

Source: Marriage Unarranged #BookTour The Final Day! – Ritu Bhathal

Spidey’s Serene Sunday – Part 379 – Excitement

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“Don’t wait for the perfect moment. Take the moment and make it perfect.” 

Aryn Kyle

Thank you, Spidey, for always keeping my feet on the ground and reminding me to appreciate what I have.

It’s been a manic week, with the book release and trying to fit in some extra work, where I needed to.

In my head, this week was going to be all book-related, with the release happening and me having numerous hours to write since the kids are back at school, but our school had an extra week off.

But it wasn’t quite as idyllic as that. The release, being on social media, promoting, sharing posts, answering comments, making silly Tiktok videos… all that took a lot out of me, as well as getting the work I needed to do, done.

I was lucky to get time to read, let alone write!

But it made me realise that I need to be thankful for the moments I did have, and to embrace them as perfect moments that they were. I mean, Marriage Unarranged hit number 2 in a Hot New Release list! That is awesome! It has had some beautiful reviews, too, via the book tour, and so many of my blog pals have shared lovely posts about it, too.

How can I see this week as anything but a week filled with perfect moments?

And, even on the work front, I have managed to get so much paperwork done that it should make the beginning of this next manic term a lot easier, too… Just have that shadow of Ofsted still looming, though…

Still, onwards and upwards! It made me think, that quote. We can make our own perfect moments. It is definitely all about perception, isn’t it?

So, have a think, and tell me about a perfect moment you have had. A moment which you made perfect by your thinking or actions.

namaste

Wishing you a wonderfully peaceful Sunday, Peeps!

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