On Being Observed… 11 ‘What Ifs’ Running Through My Mind.

I haven’t been sleeping well, you guys know that.

The reason is because I have a lesson observation on Thursday. I am pretty used to being observed by my manager, but this time it is her along with the Head Teacher, coming to see me in action.

But there are so many things running through my brain all the time, regarding said observation!

Oh My God!

What if…

  1. …I am doing EVERYTHING wrong!
  2. …I goof up?
  3. …the kids don’t listen?
  4. …I can’t speak?
  5. …I don’t live up to the expectations of the management?
  6. …my lesson just ‘doesn’t work’?
  7. …I can’t control the kids?
  8. …my staff don’t react in the way I’d like them to?
  9. …the children look bored?
  10. …things don’t go to plan?
  11. …the kids don’t learn?

I’ve spent nights thinking about specific activities that show the children being ‘stretched’ through play, and whether the activity makes sense/is fun/is beneficial/ticks the relevant boxes with regards to the learning intention I hope to achieve.

I worry about whether my behaviour management techniques with the children will be deemed to ‘work’. The children I am being observed with are lovely, but there are a couple of children with additional needs, and the obligatory behavioural issues, not to mention English as an Additional Language for most of the class!

Everything needs to be simple, they are three or four years old. But not too simple that it doesn’t challenge the children that are more able.

I have the additional pressure of the fact that when my colleague was observed, there were a lot of ‘issues’ pointed out, and I know that management want to see me addressing these issues, which I will.

I am confident in myself… until someone comes along to judge me.

Then I go to pot.

I’m the same with exams. I know what is needed, but put me under that exam pressure, and I crumble!

But I am worried that I’ll stutter, or I’ll waffle, to overcompensate and over explain things to the kids, waffling away, as is the case with me normally, so imagine what ‘over-waffling’ could be like?!

Oh dear God, see! I am waffling on here again already… you are reading my nerves!!!!

So please, wish me luck for tomorrow.

82 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Rae Longest
    May 02, 2017 @ 13:34:05

    What Ifs will kill you! You must read Shel Silverstein’s poem titled “What If”.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  2. Wild Child
    May 02, 2017 @ 12:03:31

    I’m betting you came through with a glowing report. 🙂 You are so beautifully human my Dear. 🙂 XO

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  3. jeremy@thirstydaddy
    Apr 30, 2017 @ 16:24:44

    we all struggle with this sometimes. Hope it all works out! Good luck!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  4. Think. Write. Inspire.
    Apr 30, 2017 @ 16:16:00

    Sounds like you are putting way too much pressure on yourself. Just breathe. I have been teaching college Public Speaking classes for almost 20 years. It’s good to be a little nervous. It turns into energy when you are up in front of others. Just take a deep breath, smile, and know you’ve got this.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  5. angelanoelauthor
    Apr 30, 2017 @ 15:08:11

    I think you’ll be amazing. So what if they point out an “issue,” that’s their job right? They’re looking for issues- so they WILL find them. It’s like they’re on an Easter egg hunt and they can’t come home without some plastic goodies in their basket. I don’t know if it’s helpful at all to imagine your evaluators in giant bunny suits. . . Good luck! (Even though you don’t need it.)

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  6. Parul Thakur
    Apr 30, 2017 @ 10:14:32

    You will do great. Good luck and tell us more when it’s done and dusted.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  7. Nilma Macedo Paulino
    Apr 28, 2017 @ 18:37:31

    I like your Blog!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  8. Trackback: Observation Expectations | But I Smile Anyway...
  9. Judy E Martin
    Apr 27, 2017 @ 20:12:04

    Oh Sis, I hope that it all went well todayand that you showed them just how wonderful you are!! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  10. susieshy45
    Apr 27, 2017 @ 08:19:58

    Ritu
    Good luck and hope the ordeal is soon over.
    Sure you will come through in flying colors.
    Susie

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  11. Trackback: Thursday Thought | But I Smile Anyway...
  12. oneta hayes
    Apr 26, 2017 @ 23:49:51

    You know you are a good teacher. Don’t let it get to you! You’ll sail through. My “observations” long ago were sometimes unannounced. The observers were fair and they chose the better times of the day, when a real lesson was going on. I was relieved when they became planned observation times, but it does lead to more stress and anxieties.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    • Ritu
      Apr 27, 2017 @ 06:48:33

      It’s hard because I should have been observed a month ago.. . but it got delayed with one thing or another. Hanging over your head for so long. that’s no fun! Thank you!

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  13. fattymccupcakes
    Apr 26, 2017 @ 23:48:37

    Good luck!! I HATE observation time! Just think, you will feel so amazing when it is done and over with!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  14. Chris White
    Apr 26, 2017 @ 21:24:56

    Have fun, Ritu. Let us know how you get on.
    Remember … they will know how you feel as they’ve been through it.
    And one day … you’ll be the observer.
    😊😊😊🍹

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  15. noellekelly
    Apr 26, 2017 @ 17:36:46

    Best of luck lady (But I’m sure it’s not needed!) 😁

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  16. Kathy
    Apr 26, 2017 @ 16:40:53

    Good luck!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  17. colinandray
    Apr 26, 2017 @ 15:07:54

    Just remember that you, like me (and like them) are not perfect and do make mistakes. Hopefully they are mature enough, and professional enough, to allow for you being self-conscious under those circumstances and, if they have trouble with that rationale… give them my email address!!!! Have a wonderful day tomorrow.. and just be yourself! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  18. Linda
    Apr 26, 2017 @ 14:57:22

    Good Luck!! I’m sure you’re worrying over nothing – you’ll do great! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  19. Yinglan
    Apr 26, 2017 @ 14:41:51

    Good luck!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  20. syl65
    Apr 26, 2017 @ 13:54:40

    Oh and get some good sleep later!!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  21. syl65
    Apr 26, 2017 @ 13:54:05

    You got this Sister, we are 💯+ behind you!! You have the skills to want them to hire a thousand or more Ritus ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  22. charlypriest
    Apr 26, 2017 @ 13:25:25

    I got the solution, hire me as the consultant and make me talk. That should work out.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  23. mercyngum
    Apr 26, 2017 @ 12:37:18

    My Dear Ruti everything will be ok. Just Believe in Your Self and all the Years you Have put in at work. You’re More than you think you are. Get some sleep relax its gonna be ok.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  24. pagesvoice
    Apr 26, 2017 @ 12:33:03

    Keep your head up and know your credentials and your ability. My wife has been a teacher for 42 years and still gets nervous during observations. It is all part and parcel of the school environment. At least my wife is retiring in June. Good luck!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  25. SickChristine
    Apr 26, 2017 @ 12:20:53

    My sister is a teacher. We were just talking about how nervewracking her observation was, but she did very well. I suspect you will, too. Best of luck!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  26. josypheen
    Apr 26, 2017 @ 10:18:51

    Good luck!

    But you don’t actually need it. I am sure you will be amazing! It’ll probably all be over by the time you read this!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  27. tesscol
    Apr 26, 2017 @ 08:40:26

    Keep calm stay positive….. Forget all the ‘what its’…….

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  28. davidprosser
    Apr 26, 2017 @ 08:37:13

    Very best of luck Ritu. Just be yourself, that’s enough for anyone. You’ll be fine.
    xxx Huge Hugs xxx

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  29. Erika Kind
    Apr 26, 2017 @ 08:03:01

    I understand your ponderings very well. In the end, it is a day like any other too. There are simply visitors but knowing what visitors gets the thinking process spinning. You want to find the best option to present the kids, their skills, and that in combination with your way of teaching (your strategies). You know what? What if… it works out fantastic? What if you are doing everything perfectly right? What if you succeed? What if the kids are totally with you because they know why and that it is important to listen? You are a good teacher (confirmed several times) and the kids love you? The ones who observe you know how kids are btw…. So, this is not the day to test you but the day you can finally show all your joy and passion for what you do every day! So, what if it all goes fine? 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  30. April Munday
    Apr 26, 2017 @ 07:59:48

    The only people who don’t worry about these things are too stupid to know that they’re not good enough. So, keep worrying, and get what sleep you can.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  31. Ompong
    Apr 26, 2017 @ 07:20:35

    wishing you the best of luck! and believe me, there are a million ‘ifs’ and if you think each one of them, you’ll be losing your sanity! hahaha!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

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