One-Liner Wednesday – #1LinerWeds – Kids

“Damned if you do… Damned if you don’t…” said by Loads of People

 

I took Lil Princess to the park today. Lil Man was already there, with his friend. We had agreed that I would bring his sister, but not go near him – Street cred and all that jazz (But I am a cool mum remember – I FLOSS!)

Whilst there, she wouldn’t stay away from her brother and ended up playing basketball with him and his mate. So that meant I was at a loss. I couldn’t stay away because I had to keep an eye on the girl.

Whilst sat there, I noticed a child getting pushed around. There were loads of people in the park yet no one batted an eyelid. This one child, who wore glasses, was pushed down to the ground, kicked, and punched. A girl stood beside him doing nothing. The others were a group of five children. They looked around 11-12 years old.

Then the bullies walked off.

I was getting ready to go home when I saw the kid get pushed again. Still, no one did anything.

Now, I know the culture nowadays is to not get involved. You run the risk of getting turned on instead, but I needed to know that child was okay. It could have been rough playing, I don’t know… Lil Man said, “I’ll go say something if it gets rough mummy, don’t worry.” But how much rougher did it have to get?

So, I told the three under my care to stay where they were and I walked over. As I got closer I heard ” Mummy!” It was Lil Princess, flanked by my son and his friend. Before I could send them back, one of the bully kids said something to my son. I don’t know what, but Lil Man turned to him and said: “Say that to my face!”

The kid walked off. I sent my three charges back to the basketball court, with the assurance that I was fine. I didn’t need mini bodyguards with me.

Some of the other kids were watching me.

I did think whether I should just walk past. If I got involved, would they turn on my kids?

Or did I go and check on that child?

The inner mumster/teacher won.

I went to him and quietly asked if he was okay. The girl with him looked like a sister. They both looked a little relieved that someone had asked, but they said they were fine. I mentioned that I was around if they needed anything, a call home etc. and left them to it.

Sitting back down, I still watched.

The bully group were still there, glancing over at me, but they didn’t approach us. Lil Princess wanted to play on the climbing frame some of them had congregated at. I was torn again. Do I go there with her, and let her play? Or do I say no, for fear of them saying anything to her?

But then I realised that we weren’t the ones in the wrong. They were.

I was tempted to ask some of the older kids why they didn’t intervene when they saw things like that happening. Maybe it’s the culture nowadays… you just don’t get involved.

But where does that leave you when you witness something like that, don’t do anything, then read the headlines later to hear that someone was seriously hurt, or even worse… or what if the bullying causes that child to do something drastic?

Nah.

I stand by my decision to see whether that child was okay.

He seemed fine after. The worst three of the five who had been pushing him around disappeared and the other two just talked to him and his sister after.

And though I worry about my Lil Man going to the park, knowing there are idiots like that around, I know he has a big heart and a strong head on his shoulders. I can’t be his bubblewrap all the time…

Sorry… a little more than one line AGAIN!

For Linda’s #1LinerWeds Challenge. (But a lot more than one line!!!)


46 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Juliajewell
    Apr 22, 2018 @ 01:52:00

    Hey there! If you place a comment on my post I’ll share the link to your blog! Trying to build a parenting community https://themomsomnia.wordpress.com/2018/04/21/calling-all-parents-what-advice-would-you-give/

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  2. OIKOS™-Redaktion
    Apr 06, 2018 @ 11:46:05

    Reply

  3. joey
    Apr 05, 2018 @ 01:45:52

    Inner mumster/teacher knows what’s right. It is difficult, worrying about the consequences, but you know which consequences are worse. Ya did good.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    • Ritu
      Apr 05, 2018 @ 08:02:10

      Thanks Joey. I know what I’d rather see happen if it was my kid being pushed around. I couldn’t fathom how so many people were there, and no doing anything!
      I get mums with little kids, and prams, they can’t leave their children. But there were older teens, and there were dads with older kids. Surely someone else must have noticed!
      Still, I did what I thought was right!

      Like

      Reply

  4. syl65
    Apr 05, 2018 @ 01:01:31

    You did what felt right to you and that is what is most important. The situation could have gone in any direction and it is something we cannot predict. You had Lil Man on standby!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  5. bikerchick57
    Apr 04, 2018 @ 21:27:43

    Even though I know that someone who bullies tends to have their own self-image issues, I am still at a loss why they pick on someone who is defenseless. Who has taught them to be mean…or who has not been around to teach them to be kind?
    You did a good thing, Ritu. A very good thing.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  6. davidprosser
    Apr 04, 2018 @ 20:36:06

    Not getting involved isn’t really an option is it. We have to hope someone would intervene with our kids. With late teens and later it’s a little different. The only safe option then is to phone the police then let the yobs know they’re on their way in order to protect whoever is on the ground..
    xxx Huge Hugs Ritu xxx

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  7. willowdot21
    Apr 04, 2018 @ 19:19:23

    I am proud of you Sis, you did the right thing by asking. No one should be bullied! You are so brave!! 💜💜

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  8. sheldonk2014
    Apr 04, 2018 @ 19:13:25

    You protect,and defend,its the teacher / patent in You
    And the love you have for children how could you be wrong
    Wrong are in the eyes of the doing
    Not in the doer who is trying do something to the ones who are wrong

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  9. Unbound Roots
    Apr 04, 2018 @ 18:59:00

    I’m so glad you intervened, Ritu. As a former public school teacher, I stepped into the middle of fights a few times – luckily the kids chose to listen to me instead of turn on me. This can be such a scary situation. I hate bullying, but I don’t see it going anywhere soon. It’s funny because I was watching the horses down the street the other day, and there are bullies within the herd. Certain horses will pick on other horses – it doesn’t change. I wonder if humans will be able to stop the horrible act of bullying, or will it never change.

    BTW – I told you I’d get back to you on that whole flossing thing – the kids and I watched a video on how to floss last night. I think I’ve got it down, but the kids still have to work on it. 😉 Hubby wouldn’t try it – he said he didn’t want to look stupid if he couldn’t do it. Ha!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  10. Erika Kind
    Apr 04, 2018 @ 18:48:21

    I understand that feeling. Who wants to get in trouble? But isn’t it crazy that we instinctively back off (even as adults) from kids who behave obviously wrong?

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  11. Dan Antion
    Apr 04, 2018 @ 18:17:53

    Kids need to know how to fight their own battles, but not necessarily whne it’s five against one – which is often how bullies play it.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  12. Losing the Plot
    Apr 04, 2018 @ 18:14:20

    If it was my kid, I’d be glad you asked, but how proud are you of your son! Really well handled!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  13. pranabaxom
    Apr 04, 2018 @ 18:03:44

    What the world has come to that we need to analyse if it is PC to help someone in need🤨

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  14. motherofangels3
    Apr 04, 2018 @ 17:55:55

    I think you handled the situation the best you could especially with having your children with you . It shows that you are not only a good mom but a good person as well. There are too many bystanders in society. I think it’s actually called the “bystander effect” it’s a real thing. Recently a woman fell at a store I was shopping at . The reason she fell was someone was trying to take her purse. I didn’t have my children with me so I instinctively went rushing to her in the parking lot after I saw no one was going to help her. I was scared at first thinking of how vulnerable I was with her there on the ground. But I couldn’t just leave her there motionless and bleeding from her head. I stayed with her til the ambulance arrived. My point is that it has become the norm not to get involved but I guess I’ll never be normal..;) Always trust your gut ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  15. Claire Saul (PainPalsBlog)
    Apr 04, 2018 @ 17:10:20

    I would have done the same, Ritu! You are a role model for your kids and they are learning to be “street wise”…but letting go is still hard, although you are right to let lil man start to spread his wings. I am mid conversation with my 15 year old girl about getting home from a concert in Kentish Town tomorrow night with 2 friends….I want her older brother to meet them, see them across London in time to make sure they get the last train back to Surrey …….you can imagine what she wants!!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    • Ritu
      Apr 04, 2018 @ 17:21:51

      Oh man I know! It’s been an upwards struggle for us as I am willing to let him gain some independence but his grandparents are more paranoid so where I say yes they will say no… that doesn’t help… but he’s in their care after school until I finish… we have to agree on a schedule with military precision so my mum in law doesn’t worry as to why he’s not home by 3.30pm on the dot! If he wants to chill with friends it all has to be laid out for him and them so he gets his freedom and they still feel they are in some control!

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  16. scr4pl80
    Apr 04, 2018 @ 17:02:44

    You did good. I would like to think there would be someone like you around if my kids were getting bullied. Bully’s need to be stopped!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    • Ritu
      Apr 04, 2018 @ 17:18:14

      They do indeed. I remember a time we were driving home when I was a kid. It was late and there was a couple having a violent argument. My Pops wanted to stop but my mum said to drive on and call the police … with adults it’s even harder. You never know how they’d respond… and as my dad wear a turban it could turn racist too…

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

      • scr4pl80
        Apr 04, 2018 @ 17:20:11

        Definitely! I remember hearing a mom yell at her little girl because she did not smile when they were having their Christmas photos taken. She was really giving it to the little girl and I so wanted to say something but held my tongue.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Ritu
        Apr 04, 2018 @ 17:25:12

        It’s a tough call isn’t it!!! I’ve had to intervene with parents and children at school but as a teacher I kinda have the right… outside it gets stickier… but if there is something wrong happening I can’t sit by and let it continue…

        Liked by 1 person

  17. sonofabeach96
    Apr 04, 2018 @ 16:51:51

    You did the right thing. And I love the spunk from Lil’ Man. Good for him. It’s been my experience that bully’s are really just cowards. Stand up to them, and they wilt. 😃

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  18. Shivangi
    Apr 04, 2018 @ 16:51:00

    Good that you made sure that the kid was fine. Bullies are everywhere! And the decision to let lil man go on his own was great, I think they need to fight their own battles😀

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

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