kids | But I Smile Anyway...

When is it the right time…?

19 Dec 2014 2 Comments

by Ritu in Children Tags: growing up, kids, love, precious, scared

I don’t want to let go, I seriously can’t even consider it at the moment!

I mean, let go of my babies, and allow them to grow up!

This year Lil Man is in year 5 – aged between 9 and 10. We got letters about an after school club, and for the first time, there was the option to allow your child to leave the school premises alone, with parental permission, to go home. Not a big deal, right? No, no, no, huge, massive, enormous deal!!

I know I’m over protective about the kids, but you know, after struggles to have them, and knowing the way of the world nowadays, I feel like I can’t contemplate it yet! He’s lucky, ( or not, depends how you look at it!) I work at the school, and I’ll always be around to pick him and Lil Princess up, and if I can’t, his grandparents are available most of the time too. Well, I will until the end of next year, then he starts ‘BIG SCHOOL’!

Lil Man is just that, little. He’s a feisty chap, with a lot of emotions too. Being of small stature, he’s a possible target for being picked on, but he does manage to avert things by being the clown. He does have great friends who he sticks around with at school. If things happen, he’s still young enough to tell us, but it takes a while. But he’s also someone who is ready to defend himself too. These things worry me… What if he doesn’t have these same friends at his new school, to be a support network? What if he gets picked on by some bigger kids, walking to/from school? What if this happens and he gets in a fight?

I know, he can’t be wrapped up in cotton wool for ever, but I just can’t do it!
Ok, so I’ve got to the stage where in the mornings, I leave him in the playground so I can get set for work, and when he has his karate lessons, sometimes I don’t stay, but that’s about it! But then he gets a bit anxious when he knows I’m not around as well.

One of his previous teachers was worried about him having dyspraxia tendencies at one time… That wasn’t proved, but there is something there. I’m not sure what. Ok, so they say we’re all on ‘the spectrum’ somewhere, and I do think maybe there’s an element of truth about him too. He still has such an innocence about him, more so than a lot of his classmates. The innocence 9 year olds in my day all had. Nowadays kids are so advanced, and know so much… It all this technology they have access to that feeds their minds, giving them chances to see/read things they wouldn’t have had a chance to a few years back.

And this technology, and social media is probably a silent feeder for me and my anxieties too. You can’t turn a page in a newspaper, log into Facebook, or see the Internet home pages without reading something negative, about kidnappings, stabbings, murder, bullying, rape…

I’m pretty sure these things happened all those years ago, well we all know they did, look at the celebrity scandals that are being uncovered all the time from years gone by, and stories that are reported on nowadays. But the thing is, we weren’t aware of them constantly. Something hugely major would be in the national papers or on the news on TV, not everything. Now, you hear something, and within seconds, someone has written and posted about it, right or wrong, and the rumour mill starts up… Or the anxieties of parents like me are pumped up.

So excuse me if I don’t want to let go too soon. Things are scary out there. He’s a precious lil boy and I want to give him the right life skills, but I don’t know when to start! And as for Lil Princess… Well she’s 6 going on 16 and wants to do everything her big brother gets to do right now! I don’t think these things would bother her too much, her confidence is pretty solid.

Unlike her brother. If he was playing his drum, you could stand him up, in front of a thousand, and he wouldn’t bat an eyelid! But the idea of going to big school alone with none of his mates, that scares the hell out of him. He does talk about walking to and from school alone, when that time will come, and though he is quite excited about it, there is a little nervous glint in his eyes as he talks about it. And it makes my heart ache…

So,like I said, I don’t want to let go…

He’s not old enough yet!

But when is the right time???

Scaredy fruit

15 Dec 2014 Leave a comment

by Ritu in Children Tags: fruit, healthy, Humour, kids

So, good parents are supposed to ensure their children get their 5 portions of fruit and veg a day, or is it 7 now?

That’s all well and good when your child likes the stuff. My Lil Man, who incidentally is so slight he looks like he’s hardly fed, loves fruit and veg. He’ll happily ask for fruit as a snack, and tries all vegetables we give him. He has them western style, and in good old curry form too. Then runs around like a total loon, and works all he’s eats, off!

But what do you do when your kid is scared of fruit?! Yes, it’s Lil Princess again! When she was a baby, and it was the weaning fun time, I puréed everything, more varieties than when I had done the same with Lil Man, and she loved pretty much everything… Then I really don’t know what happened.

There had been no distressing situations or stand out incidents, involving fruit, but all of a sudden, all it took was Lil Man waving a banana at her, and she’d be screaming! He liked this new control, and when he wanted the sofa for himself, he’d ask for fruit, so she would choose to sit elsewhere!

When she started nursery and even school, she was offered fruit, and I was intrigued… Did she eat it, or was this just a home thing? But no, she politely declined there too (at least she used her manners there, instead of hollering!) but, the joys of working in the same school as where your children go, I’d get stopped at lunch or in the hallway by a colleague, “guess what? She tried banana/apple today!” It was as much an achievement for her teachers as it was for us at home!

We’ve progressed to school dinners, where I ‘think’ she’s eating more veg, and today she informed me she likes pineapple!

Total list of fruit and veg she will eat
1. Apple
2. Banana
3. Raisins (I know dried fruit, not real stuff, but still!)
4. Mango
5. Honeydew Melon
6. Pineapple
7. Satsumas
8. Carrots
9. Corn on the Cob
10. Peas

But, not with any regularity! Oh well, I guess I’ll have to be happy with what we’ve achieved so far, and just hope this list will extend, and that she’ll eat some every day!

(Oh yes, I’ve tried the old tricks, purée the veg n add in sauces… Then she picks pasta out and won’t eat the sauce!)

Do you have a fussy eater at home?

Kids logic!

12 Dec 2014 Leave a comment

by Ritu in Kids Logic Series Tags: kids, Logic

Red sky at night, shepherds delight,
Red sky in the morning, shepherds warning.

So, the kids love this rhyme, and whenever they see a reddish evening sunset, Lil Man will always repeat it, excitedly!
This morning, saw the red sky, and I said it to them. Lil Man said, ‘So what mummy? It’s always a red sky when the sun rises…’!
Kid got logic that works!

Diet??? Really??? Nah, I think I’ll live a little! And live for ME!

04 Dec 2014 2 Comments

by Ritu in Thoughts Opinions & Memories Tags: Cats, Diet, Exercise, Family, Happy, Husband, kids, Self Belief, Self Confidence

So it’s less than a year until I reach that next milestone…40… And I have been trying to be good, reigning in my appetite, trying to ensure I don’t end up with that middle aged spread that seems to hit so many.

Actually, I did so well this summer! We had a very close family wedding and I really wanted to lose some weight so I felt confident, and looked my best for the week long festivities. And, d’ya know what? I did it! I hit 9 1/2 stone, a weight I hadn’t even been at on our wedding day! (Obviously I had been that weight before… Well, I had to have been, to get past it and tip the scales at my heaviest… I won’t say what that was!😜) I signed up to a diet plan, which was great, sensible eating and advice on top of the recommended products, and felt great! After a week or two of clean eating I was getting comments from colleagues and friends about my complexion glowing! (And a bit about the weight loss!)

I even managed to exercise… No mean feat for me! Being a mum, I find there is no time in the day for me to grab even half an hour to keep fit, and if, by some fluke, I do have spare minutes, the last thing I want to do is be getting sweaty by exercising! Just sitting down is a luxury! But, as it was the summer months and we had daylight so early, I set my alarm half an hour earlier than usual, and embarked on Jillian Michaels 30-Day Shred, as recommended pay some friends on a weight loss support site….
OMG!!!! It was only a 20 minute daily workout, but I was sweating (oops, should I be ladylike and say glowing, or perspiring? Nope, sweating fits the bill perfectly!) like a P.I.G.!! Well, I’ve been told that’s a good thing, so I continued doing the programme.

Got to day 21 and my darling kitten, who was only about 4 months old at the time, used to watch me fascinated as I threw myself around, squatting and lunging, crunching and whatever else you have to do. He’d lick my face every time I came down on a press-up, ur try and climb on me as I did sit ups, then decided it would be a great idea to catch my foot every time I stepped forward to lunge. During one of these ‘playful’ sessions I managed to twist my knee, avoiding him during a lunge… It was preferable to squashed kitty… But oh , how it hurts!!!! I was gutted! I’d done so well and could see the difference in my body shape, and couldn’t continue it straight away because of the darned knee! So, bring as I’d set myself a goal, I found alternate torture, I mean exercise (😁), to carry on.

Then since the summer, and after the wedding, I went into free fall again…
Well, I enjoyed myself, I should say. I ate, drank, did no ecercise, and a little crept on again, but not too much! And this is where I’m at now. I’ve realised that it’s too much hard work to stay a specific weight. I’ll try to not go beyond 10 stone… I’ll attempt to do the odd bit of exercise, but to be honest rushing around, as a wife, mum and daughter in law, and working in a school, running around after 4-5 year olds, I think I can’t be classed as lazy! I’ll eat carefully, but I won’t deny myself ( though I should sometimes. Ok, one bar of chocolate is enough, but sometimes I just HAVE to reach for the second😳) and if I want to lose weight, it needs to be for the right reason…

Thinking back, I was concerned about one individual, one person who, in my life, has never fostered any confidence in me, despite being my elder, someone who should have been supportive but just wasn’t. I was seeing said person after a long time, and my self belief just crumbled. Those who know me would think I’m a self confident person with no worries like this, and generally I am, but I don’t know why, this person comes on the scene, and I’m 10 again, in the shadows ( though not in awe, I have to say… There is no one I’d rather be LESS like!) hoping I’m doing right by them. Still, after this summer, and the wise words of some precious folk in my life, I faced this person, got through what I dreaded would be an ordeal, and came out with a renewed confidence!

You know what? I’m great as I am! Proud to be nearing 40 and looking how I do! Lucky to be the wife to a fantastic Hubby, mother to two crazy kids, I have a roof over my head, and food and drink so that if I wanted, I CAN indulge!! I have the most AMAZING friends, FANTASTIC colleagues, the BEST family a woman could ask for… What more do I need?

Forever…

03 Dec 2014 Leave a comment

by Ritu in Family Tags: Forever, Happy, Husband, kids, love, Marriage, Partnership, precious, Wife

Well, I can’t continue this blog without telling you about the most key person in my life for the last 17 years at least… My wonderful husband and soulmate.

We met at university, and it was pretty much apparent from the beginning, that this was it, we were in it for the long haul! From the moment I saw him, I knew there was ‘something’ about him, and as I got to,know him, it was just confirmed, this guy was my Mr Right, my Mr Forever…

As I mentioned before in my post about my Precious Pops, whoever came into,my life would have a tough act to follow, but I can proudly say, my husband has more than filled the spot. Kind, loving, caring, generous, brooding, honest, frustrating at times, but he’s all mine!

He had a big task ahead of him, getting to know my HUGE family to start off with, so I had him in training, armed with a large photo album before he even met my crazy clan! (It can take years…even I get co fused sometimes, and it’s MY family!) but he’s done it!

Telling my parents was not hard, as I knew they’d love him, in fact the first time I described him to Mum, she had decided she loved him already, and Pops, bless him was just happy I was happy!

Fast forward 17 years… So now we’re married with our own home and 2 children… It’s never going to be a totally smooth ride is it? Yes we argue, disagree, we don’t always see eye to eye on every issue. But who does?
Still the moments of happiness, and love totally outweigh these times, and it’s true, that saying,

“Everyone wants Happiness,
Without all the pain,
But you can’t have a rainbow
Without a little rain.”

He’s been my rock in times of sadness and pain, he’s held my hand and been with me through our babies births, celebrated happiness with me, surprised me, made me laugh, made me cry (with joy)… He is my everything, and I know my life would be incomplete if he wasn’t with me.

Love you babe! … In case you didn’t know!

(Oh, and did I mention, he’s my Source of Eternal Youth, my younger other half… Well, you’re only as young as the man you feel eh!!)