Linda’s #SoCS prompt for this week…

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is: “project.” Use it as a verb, a noun, or both. Have fun!

I think after the incident that happened to me last week give me a fair reason to be scared. A decent reason to feel like I shouldn’t do certain stuff again. A valid point made that cars can be dangerous.

But do I allow an isolated incident to colour my future?

After all, I am lucky enough to be here after the accident. Fortunate to be walking around and to still have a vehicle at my disposal.

Do I feel scared? Nervous? Panicky?

Yes.

Will I let these feelings dictate how I live my life?

No.

Yes, I do have fears. Flash backs occur at the slightest trigger, like when the wind was blowing. The thought of the car veering off the road, possibly because of a gust of wind panicked me so much? Driving by the site of the accident was surreal. Getting behind the wheel could have been really tough.

But no. I am not going to allow my fears to dictate my life. And I am not going to project those fears onto my children.

I made a choice, after the collision with a motorway central reservation barrier, that I would get back behind the wheel. I chose to try and get over the scene that runs through my mind several times a day, of my car spinning round and round into the oncoming traffic, so that the children don’t ever feel worried when in the car with me.

I need them to understand that accidents do happen, even to the most careful drivers. As someone said to me “That’s why they’re called ‘accidents’. You don’t plan them. If they were planned they would be called ‘on purposes’.”

I want them to be the kind of people who are able to get back on the horse after falling off, without fear.

I hope that they don’t think of incidents like this as a failure of sorts, but instead an opportunity to do better next time. We are learning all the time, and this accident was a learning curve for me too.

I guess when you think of it like this, it is all about the fixed vs. growth mindset thinking. I could shut down, convinced I would be in many more accidents, so that’s it. No cars or driving for me. Or I treat it like a lesson, and get back into that driving seat, take it easy, and keep going with life as I was before, thinking positively.

You see the way I react to incidents that occur in my life, project a kind of standard of reaction onto those around me. If I want the kids to be strong, resilient people, I need to be that too.

But equally, I need to makes sure I don’t overdo things too quickly too. I may be Supermum in their eyes but I am no Superwoman really. I need recovery time, and they need to see that, so they understand there are also times in life when it;s okay to take a step back, recuperate, then get on with living.

As long as I stay positive, I think  I’ll project the right emotions, that will allow them to be able to handle situations like this in a positive manner too.

And there you have it… My Stream of Consciousness this morning, pure and unadulterated!