Toilet Humour | But I Smile Anyway...

November 19: Flash Fiction Challenge – Toilet

20 Nov 2020 48 Comments

by Ritu in #CarrotRanch, Thoughts Opinions & Memories Tags: 99-Word Fiction, Blog, Blog Post, Blogger, Blogging, Carrot Ranch, Toilet Humour

It’s been a long old while, but I thought, I have to get back to creating, and why not start with one of Charli’s 99-word fiction challenges!

November 19, 2020, prompt: In 99 words (no more, no less), write a story that glorifies a toilet. Capture the marvel and status and love for a contraption we’d rather not mention. Go where the prompt leads!

Hole In One

“But I need to go, right now!” Serena squirmed in the backseat of the car.

“Hold on. It’s not like England, here.” Her mother leaned forward. “Will we be able to stop soon?” She asked her husband, sitting in the passenger seat, as the driver weaved between the traffic.

“Not long.”

They pulled up at a small roadside restaurant, with a few tables set, haphazardly, outside.

“There.” The driver pointed to a tatty door.

Serena ran in, and straight out.

“That was quick!”

“I can’t go in there. It’s just a hole!”

“Welcome to India Memsahib!” The driver grinned.

That’s the first fiction I have written since August!

Hope you enjoy!

Ode to the Phantom Pooper!

15 Jan 2015 16 Comments

by Ritu in Humour, Thoughts Opinions & Memories Tags: Funny, phantom pooper, poem, Toilet Humour

Every day, by a quarter to nine,
I usually need to pee,
And every day, after locking the door,
I sit and think, “Why me?”
Because every day, like clockwork, you know,
Somebody pays a visit,
And everyday, the stink remains,
And makes everyone wonder, “Who did it?!”
I should know better, you probably think,
Since it happens every day.
But it’s convenience, you know, much easier.
This loo’s just on my way!
Some days I’m late, there’s barely a hint
Of the stench that did remain.
But thankful I am, at least they’re polite,
Well, enough to pull the chain!
But if I’m early, heaven forbid!
I’ve come to expect the norm.
A smelly loo, no sign of the spray,
And a seat that’s still sometimes warm!
They haven’t been caught yet,
Their timing’s quite super,
It’s still a such a mystery…
Who is the Phantom Pooper?!

He farted!

06 Jan 2015 26 Comments

by Ritu in Children, Humour Tags: Cute, Farts, kids, Reception, School, Toilet Humour

As some of you will have picked up, I work in school, and with kids, there’s always the chance of a bit of a giggle!
Well why would today be any different?
My class are aged 4-5 and it was first day back after Christmas break.
We had an author visit, and our turn to see her was at the end of the day, so lots of tired little munchkins.
One in particular, a beautiful, autistic child was whispering to me that he was tired and wanted mummy.
“Not long now, come and sit by me.”
He came, he sat, he looked at me then
crawled on my lap.
Then let a little one go…
I’m ashamed to say I can’t keep a straight face, toilet humour and all that! I giggled, quietly…
He looked up, smiled, and did it again!
I tried so hard to look serious, but he caught me smirking … And did it again!
Three little poots on my lap!
Its a good thing he’s cute!!!!!