Thursday Photo Prompt – Cave – #writephoto

Sue’s photo prompt this week…


I thought I would attempt some fiction this time, it’s been a while…

Jack and Jill
“It’s got to be here somewhere, I just know it!” Jack huffed and puffed as he frantically swept his gaze here and there.
Jill was following calmly.
Even she was just as excited to get to the cave, but she was fully aware of where it was, unlike her scatterbrained brother.
As children, they would walk up nature’s stone staircase towards the mouth of the cave, and spend many hours playing. It was their private den, untouched by others, kitted out with all sorts of essentials, so they didn’t have to keep rushing home in the day. There were stools and a tiny table. Mother had given them some cups and plates, and cutlery so they could eat their picnic lunch in comfort.
There was even a little candle holder with candles so they had light, And a little box with pens and paper so they could write secret notes to one another.
Often, they would find ‘treasures’ on their walks and these were stored in a small biscuit tin, things like special leaves, and pebbles, and the odd bit of metal they found.
It was these ‘treasures’ that brought them back to their old cave today, 20 years later.
Watching his portly behind jiggling its way ahead of her, Jill wondered whether her brother would even fit inside anymore.
“Jill, I am so sure we found one of those! Do you remember? In that huge hole, that we spent the summer digging? It was a small golden coin, and on the news, they showed one just like it, that had been found a few miles from here. £100,000 they reckon it could be worth! An ancient coin from among the first the Romans had when they came over here! To think, if we have one, we could be in for a windfall sis!” Jack’s eyes glazed over with the haze of an imagined riches-fuelled future.
“Maybe Jack, maybe. Who knows if everything is still where we left it anyway? It may even be a den for today’s youngsters, and our inconsequential rubbish will mean nothing to them.” She had decided to accompany him, on a whim.
It might do him good to revisit the past, goodness knows his future hadn’t been so good to him. 31 and already divorced, with 2 children to support, and a greedy ex-wife, no job due to a recent redundancy, and an ever-expanding waistline… He was a stress-induced heart attack waiting to happen…
But life had been no bed of roses for her either. She was still single, a chapter book of failed romances behind her, debt-ridden with a catalogue of maxed-out credit card bills to pay and in danger of losing her flat, as she couldn’t afford the rent.
Of course, she could just move to a cheaper place, but what of her lifestyle? She deserved to live life to the fullest. So what if her credit cards had paid for the exorbitantly priced holidays, and nights out? If she wanted to attract the right sort of man, she needed to be in the right places.
And she would stop at nothing to continue to live behind this smokescreen of a life that she had created.
“Here! I knew we’d get there!” Jack was almost jumping with joy! He scrambled up the stairs to peer inside the cave, but that was all he could do. “Jill, you are going to need to go in, I can’t quite fit!”
“Move over then, tubster!” she said with a little fondness, looking at her sweaty faced little brother.
Going in was like stepping back into their childhood! It hadn’t been found by anyone else, and there was a blanket of dust and cobwebs gracing every surface. Scrambling around in her bag, Jill found the torch she had brought with her and switched it on.
Looking around, she saw the pair of now tiny chairs and the table. There was the candle holder and a small box of matches.  And in the far corner was the small hole where they used to put the biscuit tin. Gingerly, she eased it out and opened the box. There was a huge amount of rubbish, rotten leaves, that crumbled in her hand, stones, and various rubbish that children found to be valuable at a young age, but nothing that was a true treasure. Jack must have been mistaken.
“Did you find it sis?” Jack called from the cave mouth.
“Yeah, I did,” she said, “but there’s nothing here…” Sifting through , her fingers felt something round and flat. Pulling it out, she realised that it was indeed a coin, rather like that one in the news.
“Come on then, bring the box out at least, so I can have a look!” Jack was eager to root through the rubbish too. Slipping the coin in her pocket, she made her way back to the entrance and handed him the tin.
“See, nothing but old crap, Jack, sorry.” She watched as he stood there, rooted to the spot, frantically pushing the leaves and stones from side to side.
“But, but! I was so sure. Seriously sis, don’t you remember that coin? I am so sure we found one like it… it was that day. You know, that day. When I fell down these steps and bumped my head. Mum was adamant that we don’t come here after that, but we still sneaked out!”
Oh yeah, I remember that day Jack, Jill thought, when you didn’t slip, but were given a helping hand, just a little one, on your journey down, just like the little assistance you’ll be getting now…
It wasn’t a long drop, just a few stone steps, but with his excess weight, it was like falling many feet, and that rock at the bottom served as a pretty sharp pillow to rest his head on, once he came to a halt. Crimson oozed from his temple, spreading across the stones, and pooling in the mud below.
“Sorry brother dearest…” Jill fingered her pocket, feeling the outline of the coin. This was going to get her out of some deep water, “…but don’t worry, I’ll chuck a few hundred at your kids too…”

Jack and Jill
Went in the cave
To fetch an antique coin
Jack got pushed
out of the way
and Jill cashed in a fortune

Sorry, a little more morbid than usual!

Hope you enjoyed it!


44 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Morgan
    Sep 01, 2016 @ 17:12:16

    hahaha 😉 Yikes! Love the twist!

    Liked by 1 person


  2. Trackback: Photo prompt round-up – Cave #writephoto | Sue Vincent – Daily Echo
  3. wwwpalfitness
    Aug 29, 2016 @ 09:29:34

    Reblogged this on wwwpalfitness.

    Liked by 1 person


  4. dornahainds
    Aug 28, 2016 @ 19:12:53

    What a morbid delightful tale.

    Liked by 1 person


  5. syl65
    Aug 28, 2016 @ 17:23:24

    She didn’t cut him out completely 😀

    Liked by 1 person


  6. Bernadette
    Aug 28, 2016 @ 11:59:51

    A very well written post but so sad and dark.

    Liked by 1 person


  7. pensitivity101
    Aug 28, 2016 @ 10:57:19


    Liked by 1 person


  8. Erika Kind
    Aug 28, 2016 @ 10:30:14

    A woman that took action… lol! That happens when men let us do the dirty work… lol!

    Liked by 1 person


  9. Sue Vincent
    Aug 28, 2016 @ 09:43:39

    Reblogged this on Sue Vincent – Daily Echo.

    Liked by 1 person


  10. Sue Vincent
    Aug 28, 2016 @ 08:55:55

    A rather unexpected twist 🙂

    Liked by 1 person


  11. stevetanham
    Aug 28, 2016 @ 06:59:19

    Good, though!

    Liked by 1 person


  12. TanGental
    Aug 28, 2016 @ 05:28:39

    Hey what a great sicko twist. Love it.

    Liked by 1 person


  13. Janni Styles
    Aug 28, 2016 @ 04:30:52

    Totally did not see that coming, Ritu! Great little story 😊

    Liked by 1 person


  14. vanbytheriver
    Aug 28, 2016 @ 01:23:39

    Well, that’s not the Mother Goose version !! Nicely written, Ritu. 💖

    Liked by 1 person


  15. Annette Rochelle Aben
    Aug 28, 2016 @ 01:17:52

    Jill… alpha female, eh?

    Liked by 1 person


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