Day 3 #Loveuary❤ – The Apples Of My Eyes, My Children

loveuary

I can’t speak of love in any way without talking about my two children.

The love we have for our children is unconditional. We created these tiny beings, they are ours to nurture and mould. Little reminders of us.

But it’s not always easy to become a parent.

No matter how good a parent all profess you’ll be, it’s not always that simple. I spent my younger years dreaming of getting married and having children. After all, that was how it happened, wasn’t it?

After a year of marriage we decided to start trying for a family.

It became two years of heartache, as I discovered that I suffered from PCOS (Polycystic Ovaries) The teasing of missed periods, which were nothing more than my ovaries taunting me, others falling pregnant with apparent ease, babies all around me, it was not easy.

But with a little help, we were finally blessed with one miracle. The second followed three years later, but after the devastating loss of two little angels.

My children are now 11 and 8 respectively, and, though they can be trying as kids have a tendency to be, they truly are the apples of our eyes. Not one day goes by where I don’t thank God for bringing these little bundles of joy into our lives.

I do have those moments, when they are trying my patience, that I wonder whether I actually like them, but love… that love I feel for them is incomparable to anything else in the world!

I will probably write more deeply about each of my children at a later stage, but for now I’ll leave you with a poem I penned a couple of years ago. It was previously posted on my blog, and has since been published in my poetry book, Poetic RITUals, too❤

From Twinkle To Reality

Let me take you down that road,
Much travelled through eternity
The journey to become a mum,
From twinkle to reality.

The plans you make at a young age,
Full of gurgles and laughter,
The horror as you realise,
What really does come after!

The fun of trying,
The monthly wait.
The disappointment,
That feeling, you hate…

The years of trying,
Full of hospitals and checks,
The medication taking you over,
You feel like total wrecks…

Then finally, the day comes
That positive is clear
The goal that you were aiming for,
Has suddenly come near.

The months of fascination,
Your changing body grows
The feeling of satisfaction
That only you can know.

Those pain-filled days, or hours
To reach the prize you sought
The feeling of satisfaction
That this little bundle brought.

I gaze at you in wonder
Are you really here?
I’m overwhelmed with happines
And a tiny bit of fear.

Will I be able to give to you
All you want and need?
As you look at me, wide eyed
Snuggled close while you feed.

Little blessing, sent from God
My heart is filled with joy
I will do all I can for you,
My darling baby boy.

And so the cycle continues
The waits and checks again
We’re gifted with a gorgeous girl
After a little more pain.

My life is here with me right now
Some twinkles from my eyes.
But I’ll never forget those twinkles
That now, do grace the skies…

Dedicated to my wonderful children, recognising the struggles to have them, and remembering my 2 angels lighting the sky at night.

By Ritu

loveuary-logo

Remember, feel free to take part in #Loveuary! Just ping back to the daily post, as in this one for today! And if you are at a loss for a prompt, then visit my rules post here for a list of prompt suggestions!

63 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Cookie Crumbs
    Feb 06, 2017 @ 03:49:02

    Ritu I loved these words. You never realize how alone you feel in your own Infertility journey until you read someone else’s and then you realize how much you are looking for that understanding that only someone who has traveled this road can give. Your poem so very clearly expresses how I felt while trying for our daughter. Thank you for sharing! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    • Ritu
      Feb 06, 2017 @ 07:52:54

      Thank you for reading! I always felt, through out my journey, that if I didn’t speak out about it, I was taboo… In the Indian community people don’t really talk about these things. But I did, and as a result 2 girls in my family found out they also had PCOS, and got the treatment they needed, and are now mums to 2 children each too, so it was worth it to be open 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  2. Em Linthorpe
    Feb 05, 2017 @ 19:22:00

    Such stunning and heartfelt words, the poem gives me a lump in my throat ❤ what a beautiful tribute to your family and the journey you have been on thus far x

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  3. Lisa Orchard
    Feb 05, 2017 @ 17:12:22

    This post resonates with me because I have two boys and they are the apple of my eye too. Thanks for posting this and reminding me what little miracles they really are.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  4. angelanoelauthor
    Feb 05, 2017 @ 16:01:11

    Your joy in your children is palpable. Thank you for sharing your love!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  5. April Munday
    Feb 05, 2017 @ 12:40:58

    Very moving.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  6. Parul Thakur
    Feb 05, 2017 @ 10:44:09

    That is so lovely! Beautifully written, Ritu.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  7. shanjeniah
    Feb 04, 2017 @ 05:45:15

    I’m tearing up. I grieve with you:

    “In one of the stars I will be living,
    In one of them, I shall be laughing.
    And so it will be that all the stars are laughing
    When you look at the sky at night.”

    Our problems were never on the getting pregnant side – it was the delivery that was difficult. Our secondborn son lived 12 days following a traumatic brain injury at birth. His siblings were both Cesarean births, and we are thrilled to have them, while there will always be a place in our family where Elijah might be, but isn’t.

    I don’t write about my children as often as I once did – at 15 and 12.5, they want more privacy than they used to. But the love..it grows along with them, and I can say honestly that I like them nearly all the time, even through the rapid changes and shifting moods of puberty. They are very different in temperament – my son, the eldest, is calm and even; my daughter fiery and expansive.

    They amaze me every day, usually several times!

    My soul is reaching across distance to hug yours, because I know the depths of the joy and the jagged edges of that sorrow that is like no other.

    I feel a bit silly posting fluff today, but there is great benefit in the lighter side to even the darker places….or at least, I think so.

    Peace and love, Ritu!

    http://shanjeniahslovelychaos.com/lovely-chaos-blog/2017/2/3/werent-you-listening-for-loveuary-day-three

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  8. keen peach
    Feb 04, 2017 @ 00:45:42

    Oh my goodness, this post gave me goosebumbs! So beautiful. Your kids have a wonderful mom.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  9. oneta hayes
    Feb 03, 2017 @ 22:46:11

    So lovely.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  10. Tikeetha T
    Feb 03, 2017 @ 22:17:21

    Absolutely beautiful

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  11. Judy E Martin
    Feb 03, 2017 @ 21:21:21

    This is so beautiful, Sis. You are right about the unconditional love we have for our children.
    I have some little stars in the sky too and know how painful it is, but I am are lucky to have been given my gorgeous daughter 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

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  14. robbiesinspiration
    Feb 03, 2017 @ 18:21:28

    This is amazing, Ritu. Tweeted it @bakeandwrite and posted it to my FAcebook page @SirChocolateBooks

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  15. dornahainds
    Feb 03, 2017 @ 16:16:36

    What a Marvelous Tribute to yourself and for your children. 🌹🌹🌹

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  16. Trackback: #Loveuary Challenge (Chocolate) – Life of an El Paso Woman
  17. syl65
    Feb 03, 2017 @ 15:28:11

    You have two lovely gems Sister…although they test your nerves at times…lol!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  18. willowdot21
    Feb 03, 2017 @ 15:05:18

    This is so beautiful, children are everything to us even when they are grown and left home. I empathize about your stars in the sky I have three. We will never know know what they would of become but we know they are safe in our hearts. Ritu this is a beautiful post!! ❤ xxxxx

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

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  20. Wafflemethis
    Feb 03, 2017 @ 14:03:14

    One word Sis ‘Beautiful’ 😍😍😍

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  21. Lisa A.
    Feb 03, 2017 @ 12:02:26

    Nice poem, Ritu! I can kind of relate to it. We’re still trying to get pregnant! We’ll see what happens this year… Lol. I’m going to another doctor next month. I didn’t participate yesterday but I’ll have something today. I’ll post as much as I can this month.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  22. Amanda Lyle
    Feb 03, 2017 @ 10:37:26

    Aww. Beautiful poem, Ritu.

    I’m sorry for the heartbreak you went through. I can’t even imagine how that must have felt. HUGS

    And we all get days when our patience lies thin and start to wonder whether we actually like our kids. But as quick as we feel dislike for them, the love always comes flooding back in. That’s unconditional love ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  23. Bee Halton
    Feb 03, 2017 @ 10:16:22

    Reblogged this on The Bee Writes… and commented:

    Please join Ritu in her brilliant #Loveuary 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  24. Erika Kind
    Feb 03, 2017 @ 08:13:19

    So so touching and beautiful, Sis! They will always be our children no matter what age or where in life they are. My daughter moved out more than a year ago but that doesn’t change a single thing. She will always be my girl and always care, like for my teenage boys! It is interesting to observe this about myself. I am not worrying but always caring. And it is even more wonderful when they always like to come back and love to talk about their childhood.
    Will see, if I can make it to a take tonight after work. Have a lovely day, Sis 💖

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

  25. Trackback: #Loveuary About Being a Parent. You Are Never 'Just A Mum'
  26. Anisha
    Feb 03, 2017 @ 07:25:49

    Love the poem Ritu…beautiful!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  27. Nina
    Feb 03, 2017 @ 07:25:24

    Such a lovely poem Ritu! ❤ I too have PCOS and it took us almost 3 years to get pregnant. It is true that nothing compares to tge unconditional love that we have for them . Our children is our life! 😊

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

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  29. 🐞UĞUR BÖCEĞİ🐞LADYBUG 🐞
    Feb 03, 2017 @ 06:59:29

    Good morning
    🐞Uğur BöCeði🐞LaDYBuG🐞

    Like

    Reply

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