On Saturday morning I received a message from a friend.
She had forwarded a screenshot to a few of us friends, of an Instagram post from a Sikh Youth group here, supposedly educating against the use of alcohol or drugs, and ‘grooming’.
This shot showed, in clear view, a photo of a wedding card, for a couple due to get married today in my local Gurdwara.
The bride is Sikh, the groom, of African/Gujrati descent.
The message accompanying the photo was to basically phone up the temple and cause a ruckus about a marriage being held there between a Sikh and a non-Sikh.
Let me clarify here, she had sent the photo as a discussion item in a group chat a few of us partake in. She was not in agreement with the message, just horrified that someone out there was instigating people to go and ruin another person’s special day.
This morning, apparently a crowd of militants had arrived at the gurdwara, and there was heavy police presence. Despite this, the groom did arrive, and the wedding did take place.
However, my thoughts went the following way…
Who are these people to disrupt another person’s special day?
If the Gurdwara accepted the booking, surely they have no problem with a mixed faith wedding?
How dare they?
I was so glad to hear that the ceremony took place, as it should have done.
It takes months, if not years, to arrange a wedding day, and if there is an issue with a mixed faith wedding happening in a particular place of worship, then that should be addressed at the time of enquiry and booking, not using a lynch mob on the day!
We have heard of this actually happening here a few times, where weddings have had to be cancelled on the day, not due to the couple having problems, but because groups have congregated to protest.
Yes, ideally, a marriage should be of two Sikh individuals in a Gurdwara.
Most Sikh people would say that.
But, in my eyes, if two individuals wish to marry in the Gurdwara, that should be embraced too.
For a Sikh girl, she will have grown up seeing Sikh weddings taking place, and no matter who she falls for, that ideal of a perfect Gurdwara wedding is the same as for Christian brides and their white weddings.
I have seen several mixed faith weddings in gurdwaras over the years, and to be honest, I find that the non-Sikh partner in the couple, is often more knowledgeable about the ceremony, and fully respectful of all the temple asks than the Sikh partner!
Mixed faith partnerships can be hard, but they can also be a beautiful union. We have one in our family with my brother and his Finnish bride, culminating in my Finndian nephew. Both the faiths are upheld and my nephew will be educated in both so he can decide for himself what to follow when he grows up
When they got married, it was a civil ceremony, followed by a Christian blessing, as my sis in law’s cousin is a priest, and a Sikh blessing, conducted by my Pops.
When they came back to England after the wedding, we had special prayers to give them that official blessing in the Gurdwara.
Here, where I live, there have been, in the past, a few mixed faith weddings, before they were ‘banned’ as instructed by the Akal Takht (the powers that be for the Sikh religion in Amritsar, India) in Gurdwaras.
But recently many temples have decided to allow these marriages, as there is a feeling that if they reject the youngsters who want to follow their faith, but marry whoever they love, then our religion will die too.
Our local Gurdwara also decided to allow these weddings to take place. In fact, last year I went to a family wedding there where the bride was Sikh and the groom of mixed race, not Sikh.
Some say that the gurdwaras are just in it for the money, not upholding our faith, after all, they do charge for these functions, and you do pay, quite hansomely, for the pleasure of using the facilities for a wedding.
Honestly, I don’t know what is right or wrong.
But my gut says “Live and Let Live”. It’s not hurting us if someone wishes to marry their love in the gurdwara. If we were being truthful, most of the Sikh couples who do marry in the temples aren’t baptised or true Sikhs either.
They may hold the banner of being Sikh because they were born into a Sikh family, but they may drink, smoke, eat meat, not pray, cut their hair… all things which a true Sikh would not do.
If it were only ‘true’ Sikhs who were allowed to marry in the Gurdwara, then there would be hardly any weddings taking place there. Rather, we would need many more Registry offices to perform civil ceremonies!
Sorry for the total verbal-diarrhea style of this post… But it incenses me to hear of things like this!
So I am off to ‘Zen’ myself. Peace be with you all Peeps!
But I Smile Anyway... 