Kids Logic Part 49 – Europe

They can talk sense, sometimes, these kids!

In the UK at the moment, the papers and news shows are repeatedly showing articles and items regarding Britain’s EU Referendum.

Just yesterday my colleagues and I were talking about it, saying that really we have no idea what is best. The with business acumen say we must stay for, the economy.  But the speak in such high faulted terms that Jo Bloggs on the street won’t listen, so that point falls on deaf ears.

Many people, fed up with the immigration mess the country appears to be in, say get out of Europe, close the borders!

But it’s hard to get a rounded picture for the average person. There are many implications with staying in the EU, but also many issues that will rise with leaving.

Who knows how the country will vote?

This morning, Lil Man, who is a worldly wise 10 year old suddenly gave me his opinion.

LM: We should stay in Europe!
Me: Why?
LM: Because it’s better for us all.
Me: How will it be better? I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m genuinely interested in what you think.
LM: Well, if we stay in, we have more allies, and much better defences against terrorism.

There you go. A 10 year old nowadays can’t even have a simple innocent childhood, as he is already thinking about things like terrorism.

But I think he has a valid point.

What do you think?

Pun-gli-hili anyone??! – A Re-hash!

I’m having a little thought of a post I may do soon, and it reminded me of this one I posted last year, so I thought I would rehash it for your pleasure ( I hope!).

And I speak fluent CAT!!!!

I was reading a post by Mariana on Scribbles On The Wall regarding bilingualism, and its importance, and how it affect children too, and felt that it was a topic hugely worth blogging my views on too!

Due to where my parents were brought up, they spoke their mother tongue, Punjabi, the language taught at school, English, and the national language of the country, Swahili, as they were both born in Kenya.

My brother and I grew up with a mish mash of all three, (Pun-gli-hili anyone?!) and it took us an age to decipher why people outside of our whole family, didn’t understand certain things… still, it hasn’t hindered our lives… Enriched more like.

My Mum went to a British boarding school in Kenya. She speaks the Queen’s English.  No slang or dropped Haitches for her, EVER!  And at home with her mother, and grand mother, and other elders in the family she was fluent in Punjabi. To speak with the natives, she spoke Swahili form a very young age.  When the time came for her to continue education, she was sent to the University of Bath, where she lived with a proper English family.

My Pops didn’t go to a posh school. He was at the local school in the nearest town.  Yes, he learned English, but with a slight pidgin accent, Punjabi was the focal point, and everyone in the family, more or less spoke Punjabi at home.  He spoke Swahili fluently, and also, some of the other tribal languages learned from the people who worked on their farm, like Nandi, or Jalu-o.  He then went to Mumbai, Bombay still in those days, and spent the years required getting his Dentistry degree. So along with Punjabi, Hindi was in the mix too!

They married, and there was no issue, they both understood what each other was saying, they had the same three languages in common. They moved to England, and settled in fine, there was no issue, both spoke the lingo, my mum actually spoke better than some English people!  Slowly other members of our family moved over too. Some were there before my parents.  Then I was born.

It became an unspoken rule that you were to speak Punjabi to your children at home, so they didn’t forget their roots.  And my parents did that.  To the extent that I hadn’t got an awful lot of English when I was 3, starting nursery.  A friend who I studied with from 3-18 years old remembers my first day. She says that she came up to me and said “Hello!”, and I answered back “Hello!”. She asked my name, and I said “Hello!” She enquired about my age, I said “Hello!” So that was a good start eh!  Still, I was young, I picked it all up fast and within a couple of weeks, instead of gabbling away constantly in Punjabi, I was now whittering away in English instead!

Some people didn’t like it in the family, that I was speaking less Punjabi, but was it a good or bad thing? I understood what was being said to me, I could answer questions, but my language of choice was English. It was what I spoke every day at school, the language I read and wrote in, the language I watched TV in… ok, yes, once a week we would sit crowded around the VCR and TV watching the grainy copy of the latest Bollywood film, and I understood that enough!

But we socialised with my family enough that I was never going to forget my roots, language or culture.  My brother was the same though he spoke Punjabi less from a young age.  With his sports commitments, while I was at functions with mum, Pops was ferrying him around from hockey match to cricket match.

As we grew up, when my parents needed to discuss something not for small ears, they would talk in Swahili, as my brother and I didn’t really understand much of that… a few words, the basics, but nothing more, after all we didn’t really need to!

I learned traditional songs and dances, the more modern stuff, I even started Punjabi classes with an older sister in law of mine, but after starting to master the alphabet, we went on holiday, and I never carried it on, so I forgot the reading/writing aspect of Gurmukhi, the name of the Punjabi script.

At school, there were no Indians around until I was at least 11 so within school confines I was always going to speak English. But when I went to university, there was a huge, diverse community, and I quickly became firm friends with many other Punjabi folk, like me.  It was great being with so many others ‘like me’ who weren’t related to me! I relished in the fact that I could speak my ‘home lingo’ with others and it felt pretty cool, actually!

Then I hit a brick wall.  I was chatting away to a good friend, who always laughed at how I spoke, but in a good way… Punjabi is quite a gruff language, but in my family, and for most Kenyan-origin Punjabi families, our accent is quite soft, it almost has an Urdu lilt to it, which has a grace of its own. It sounds more polite.  She said to me “Your Punjabi is so meethi (sweet), it’s not like mine! When I speak I speak “chappehr marke!” Loosely translated she said I speak sweetly, she speaks like she is giving someone a slap around the face! Ok, I could cope with that.

One day I asked for the ‘pasi’, she said “What?” I said the “pasi”. She had not a clue what I was on about.  I said “The Iron!” And she was like, that’s not how you say iron! Its “Press, or istri!”. Huh??! But this is what we called an iron at home!

I called mum, and it all fell into place! I wasn’t speaking Punjabi, all my life we had, in our family spoken Pun-gli-hili! A mix of Punjabi, English and Swahili!  She explained that so many words that I used, like kisu (knife) was Chaku in Punjabi, and boga(vegetable curry) was sabji in Punjabi, ghasia (waste/garbage) was koora in Punjabi! So all this time I had probably been right royally confusing my friends on campus with some words as I really wasn’t speaking the right language! We had mixed a lot of Swahili in there, as that was whet everyone did in Kenya, and as the whole family did it, we were none the wiser!

My cousin then told me a funny story from when she got married. She married into a family from India, no Kenya connections whatsoever! It is traditional for the bride to have to get dressed up, for a few weeks after the wedding, and sit there, all dolled up, for the boys side family and friend to come, and gawp at her. One morning, her  mother in law told her to get things ready, the Koorey waley were coming that day. She obediently got dressed, with her new clothes and finery on, and sat down waiting.  Evening came and she wondered why no one had come. Her mother in law asked her if the Koorey waley had been. She said that no, no one had turned up to visit.  “Silly girl!” her mother in law exclaimed! “The Koorey waley are the rubbish men, come to collect the garbage! Not some visitors!”

See I wasn’t the only one then! but it does work both ways. I remember speaking to  my cousin’s wife, and she came from a full on Indian Punjabi family into our mish mash East African Punjabi family.  She would be asked to get things, or do things that she didn’t understand, and it took an age for everyone to remember that, of course, she wouldn’t understand half of the vocabulary we use!

I married into a Full Indian family, but my Hubby, like me, was born here, so we both speak English, like a native! His parents speak Punjabi mostly, at home, and I speak Punjabi to them… real Punjabi, not Pun-gli-hili! Though I have explained the differences, and they laugh and find it so funny, but its an education for them too!

So to my children… What do I teach them? It is natural instinct for me and Hubby Dearest to speak English, first and foremost to them, which we do, and they are totally fluent, never have been anything but. My in-laws speak Punjabi to them, my parents speak a mix of English, and Punjabi to them. I add bits of Swahili in there, but I let them know it’s not Punjabi in advance! I am constantly being asked if I would send my children to Punjabi school on the weekend, to learn the read and write the language too. They understand it, and are starting to try and reply back in it, but the reading and writing is another matter.  Its a big commitment, almost 2 hours a day Saturday and Sunday…when would they get to be kids??

(Update here – Lil Princess started Punjabi school, it is now nearly 4 hours on a Saturday morning… She doesn’t like it.  I probably won’t send her next year, unless she actually wants to go, but at least she tried it!)

I figure that I know more than most about my culture and religion through my parents teaching me, and my own thirst for knowledge.  I speak and understand Punjabi more fluently than a lot of people who went to Punjabi school.  It hasn’t hurt me, not knowing how to read and write it. So maybe that will be fine for my two too!

I count myself lucky actually, from a young age, exposure to more than one language has made it easier to pick them up, and now I don’t only speak Punjabi, and English. Yes I have a smattering of Swahili, but I can speak Hindi, converse in basic Urdu, and I speak French too! Working with EAL children at school means I have picked up some other language phrases too, in Slovakian, Roma, Polish, Russian, Lithuanian…  And don’t forget Cat… I now know Cat too, so I can speak to Sonu Singh! Now don’t go getting me to make a language name up for all that!!!!

I’m happy with my home language – Pun-gli-hili!

Happiness Tinged with Regret. ..

It’s Friday, yay!!!!
We’ve had a lovely time at my parents. And even extended our stay by one day, as Hubby Dearest suggested it… 2 nights flew by and he knows how important my parents are to me.
Bless him!

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But you know we can’t have everything and much as I love being here, the kids and I miss Daddy and Sonu Singh too!

So it’s time to pack our bags and get ready to drive that looooong journey home.

We’ll be back in another county by around lunchtime.

Then I’ll be sat at home missing Pops and Mum!
I can’t win!!!!!

But then, maybe I already have…

Just yesterday I spoke with my best friend  and sister from anotha mista after months… we don’t see each other much or even speak much nowadays because of life… but 110% we are there for each other.

The fact that I have places to go, family that cares,  people I love.

Of course I won! They’re the ones that give me peace of mind and the strength to continue, even in the face of adversity.

We don’t all need money and material possessions to have won the game of life. Having people who care about you, people always there for you, that’s winning 🙂

Have a wonderful Friday Peeps! I’ll catch ya when I’m back home!

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But I Smile Anyway...

Shahi Paneer – Fit For A King

One of the numerous benefits of going home to visit my folks is the chance to eat my mum’s wonderful food.  She is  a great cook. And I know most people think that of their mum’s cooking, but my mum seriously is an amazing cook!

Our plan nowadays involves me watching her make certain dishes, at least one every visit, and writing the recipes down, because, as she likes to remind me, “not in a morbid way or anything”, she won’t be around forever!

This time, I requested a particular dish for Hubby Dearest, who is home alone, pining for us.  He often craves for a dish called Shahi Paneer. Shahi is the word associated with the royalty, so it is essentially quite a rich, sumptuous curry with paneer, which is Indian cheese.

Mum had planned to make it for me take home anyway, but the cooking process became a full on tutorial, and I thought I would be a good member of the Blogily, and share the processes.

Please forgive me, but there are no amounts for the ingredients, as my mum uses andaaza. This basically is when you just know! It’s a skill I think many mothers hone over the years while cooking the family favourite dishes!

So here goes…

Ingredients

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Some of the ingredients

 

Paneer, cubed
Onions, ground to a paste
Cumin seeds
Fresh tomatoes
Tinned chopped tomatoes
Turmeric
Salt
Pepper
Garam masala
Kasoori methi
Milk
Single cream
Cashew nuts
Coriander

Method

  • Add a little oil to a large saucepan and heat. Add cumin seeds and onions that have been ground to a paste. Cook on a low heat until the onions start to change colour, to a light golden brown.
  • Grind ginger, garlic and chillies and add to the onions, cooking for a few minutes.
  • Grind the fresh tomatoes, and blitz the chopped tinned tomatoes too. ( You gotta love the grinder!) Add these to the pan. Be generous with the tomatoes, they help to make a beautiful gravy for this dish.
  • At this point, add turmeric, salt, black pepper and garam masala, to taste.
  • This mixture needs to simmer gently until it begins to separate, and you see the oil rise to the top. Make sure the tomatoes are cooked well.
  • Take a handful of dried Kasoori methi in the palm of your hand and grind it to a sort of powder before adding to the pan. Another Mum tip: Griding the dried leaves with your hands actually releases the flavour better!
  • Time to prepare the cashews. Toast a handful of cashew nuts. Mum used the microwave for about 2 minutes… Who knew you could toast nuts in the microwave?!  Use a pestle and mortar, or that faithful grinder to grind the nuts then add them to the mixture.

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  • Using a hand blender blend the masala mixture in the pan. Shahi paneer requires a smooth sauce.
  • Add milk during the blending and, and some hot water.Give it a good whizz, then taste, and adjust seasoning if required.
  • Add the cream then cook on a low heat for a short while.

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  • Meanwhile, we need to get the paneer ready.
  • Cube the paneer, then lightly fry it until the colour starts to go golden brown. Drain the paneer and add it to the sauce.

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  • Allow to cook for a few moments then turn off the heat. Sprinkle fresh coriander over the top, and the dish is ready!

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Another mum tip, if you are eating straight away that is fine, but if you are planning on allowing it to cool for later, or freezing it, decant into a glass or earthenware container to cool.  She is convinced the tomatoes and cream could react to the pan metal.. though she isn’t sure!!!

Enjoy this dish with naan bread.

FIT FOR A KING!

Mum made a huge VAT of this for us, so I will be freezing some too!

Morning Person/Night Person… Which One Are You?

A morning person.
That’s me, most definitely. I’m the annoying one, bouncing around (without coffee, I’ll have you know!) first thing in the morning!
morning night
And it’s a good thing too, as my Hubby Dearest is definitely the opposite… A true Night Person.
He’s not great with alarms.
So it’s a good thing I am.  Because we have kids. And they seem to think that 6am is the right time to wake, every morning, or Lil Man at least! (And Lil Princess, in the holidays… really?! The struggles to get her to wake in the term time are unreal, yet in the holidays, 6.15am… why?!)
So breakfast is done, they are settled, and any bickering is dealt with by calm, rested mummy. If Daddy is roused, there is not a particularly patient parent there…
However, come 7pm, and mummy is getting tired.  Mummy can’t quite cope with the constant bickering. Mummy, shock horror, shouts! And in steps angel Daddy, to sort the problems out calmly, with no raised voices.
Hang on a minute, I was meant to be the Good Cop! When did the Baddie change places with me?
Good Bad
It got me thinking though.
This whole Good Cop/Bad Cop parenting thing.
We aren’t ever really just one of them, are we? Well in our household, there is definitely a personality change in Hubby Dearest and me, partway through the day!
And it directly correlates with our sleep patterns.
I sleep early because I am shattered from a busy day. I wake early, and refreshed, so I can be patient. Hubby Dearest sleeps late, and rouses himself later than me too, so he is at his prime, later in the day.
So I get Good Cop duty in the morning, and he is most definitely Bad Cop if he is woken up, and I morph into Bad cop by the evening, when my patience has worn very thin, but because he has had no kids to deal with in the day, and has woken later than us, Hubby Dearest switches to Good Cop!
So, which are you? Morning/Night Person? Good Cop/Bad Cop?

Images from Google.

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