But I Smile Anyway…

This is so me! Seriously, I am like the clumsiest person you have ever met…

I honestly can’t walk into a room without grazing the doorframe half the time.

When we were growing up my brother used to call me Malcolm – Malco-ordinated ( I know it’s not a real word but he liked it… It kinda suited me!)

The sprains and twists I’ve  experienced on both ankles due to me not looking where I was going, or tripping up, or over my own feet.

And though theoretically I’ve never been in plaster, my poor toes, have been broken on numerous occasions! Oh, my little  toes have resembled beautifully ripe cherry tomatoes a fair few times in my past!

I remember slipping down the staircase in my Hubby’s student house one time, when we were at university. Being the typical students they were, they had neglected to change the landing light bulb, and the bannister upstairs was, obviously, for hanging clothes… A shirt had slipped onto the staircase. I slipped on said shirt, and it would have just been a bruised bum and ego, had there not been a ridiculously placed fridge at the bottom of the stairs, (no room anywhere else) and a vacuum cleaner against it. But no, nothing so simple as that, I whacked into the vacuum, or I should say my foot did, and boy did it hurt! Surprisingly the freezer accommodated a packet of frozen peas, instead of being frozen over, and I was sat for ages with the said peas nestled on top of my poor toe.  Oh, it hurt!!!!! A trip to the hospital told me what they always said.. probably broken but not much they could do, except strap it up.

A few months before our wedding, I managed to stub my little toe (again!) into the narrowest pipe, running from the radiator to the floor, tight against the wall (see, that’s how close I seem to veer towards the wall as I walk!) It was sore, but I coped.  The next morning, I couldn’t put my foot down without searing pains shooting up my foot!  Uh, Oh, another break me thinks!  And so a visit to the hospital (again!) proved me right.  It was awful and I banged it pretty hard this time so the bruising was beautiful!!!

There are probably many toe occasions but they all blend into one, nowadays!

I am in a class with little children, and little furniture, and these little children are still to master the art of tucking in their chairs! So I am constantly tripping over the chairs, but its not their fault entirely, I manage to trip over the tucked in ones too! My two colleagues would gasp and hold their breaths at first, but I told them to give up on that, if they did that every time I tripped, they would hardly be breathing!… 7 months later the still gasp, but not as much!

Heck I even tripped up the stairs at an awards ceremony, on my way to accept an award for gymnastics! Graceful to the end me, see! (How I managed gymnastics, and sport of any sort without serious injury, I don’t know!)

But the fact of the matter is, I am so clumsy, and it won’t change! I should really come with some sort of statutory warning!