Secondary school | But I Smile Anyway...

He’s Growing Up… AAAAAAARRRGGHHH!!!! #ThrowbackThursday

28 Sep 2017 81 Comments

by Ritu in Children, Family, Thoughts Opinions & Memories Tags: Blog, Blog Post, Blogger, Blogging, Children, EAL, Lil Man, Mobile Phones and Children, nervous, New Academic Year, Secondary school, Stamptastic, Uniforms

I believe I deserve a pat on the back.

No, really, I do!

For the last few weeks, I could have spent all my blogging time, boring you about this, butI have waited, until the last week of the holidays to put in writing my next big challenge…

Sending my son to Secondary School!

Seriously. It’s a HUGE thing! I need to confess, I have eaten rather more chocolate than I should have today as I have been feeling the nerves! (Oops, hello again you 2lbs that I lost last week!)

I don’t call him Lil Man for no reason. He’s a dot of a boy. He doesn’t look old enough to be starting the next educational chapter of his life.

Heck, even the woman at the uniform shop today did a double take when I said we were picking bits up for Secondary School for him! But when I uttered that phrase (great things come in small packages) she nodded sagely… she was a shorty too!

But back to the matter at hand. I have been a little bit in denial.

There is an extensive list of uniform that is required for the school, and certain items of stationary that he needs to have. If he doesn’t bring the correct items in, he will get demerit points, and we can’t have that!

In the first week of the holidays, all those weeks ago, we bought some stuff. Trousers (that I’ll need to hem up) shirts, ties, socks… Mathematics set, calculator… those kinds of things. There was still a blazer, sports kit and school bag left to get, though.

Each passing week, I have thought about it, then kind of brushed it to the side. Then decorating happened. A valid ‘Get out of uniform shopping’ card!

Last week passed in a blur of not an awful lot.

Today, however, it hit home.

I have a son who is going to secondary school!

In less than a week!

And I don’t have all his clothes!

He wants to have a clean record card, no demerits, and because of me and my apprehensions , he will go to school ill-equipped and end up with those negative marks on his card, BECAUSE OF ME!

So I got the kids ready, and we went on a mission.

First shop. No blazers in his size. No tracksuits in his size. No Shorts in his size… get the picture? But we found some school shoes, trainers, and Lil Princess got her trainers and plimsolls too. £50 spent.

Shop two. Yes! A blazer in the right size! Drat! No pocket to sew his badge onto! No tracksuits, but we located shorts! £5 spent.

Shop three was the specialist uniform shop. I hesitated to go there as the prices are inflated, and it is busy, but needs must…(note to self, next year, be MORE PREAPARED!) We parked up and there was a lot of people on the pavement ahead… This was the queue for getting in the shop!

Apparently, all these organised people had been in, and ordered their uniforms, and were picking up altered items… yeah yeah, don’t rub your organisation in… I’m feeling like a very bad Virgo right now!

Anyway, after about 15 minutes we were in, being served by the lovely aforementioned ‘little’ shop assistant, and we came away with a blazer, two tracksuits, sports socks… and me being another fifty quid lighter.

Now you all know I’m all for losing the pounds at the moment, but I meant lbs, not £££’s!!!

That was over £100 in the space of an hour, and that was only part of the uniform cost. Not taking in the other £100 we must have spent on the bits previously! This whole clothing kids thing… very pricey!

Now, what is left? School bag, football shoes and the dreaded task of altering trousers, sewing badges on blazers, and naming what feels like hundreds of items of clothing! Thankfully I have these great clothing naming stamps by a company called Stamptastic, that stamp the names on clothes, with a waterproof, wash proof ink that last for many washes!

And the next thing… the whole mobile phone issue. All his mates have been given phones for the start of secondary school. Most of the mums I have spoken to have admitted that, yes, their children have phones now.

We were not sure. 11 seems quite young for a phone. But equally, it seems like a good idea. He can let us know when he is home, so we don’t worry. Can text us any changes in after school routines.

Hubby Dearest has been totally against getting one.

I, on the other hand, possibly being the protective mother, would like to know I can get in touch with him if need be, and vice versa.

The children both actually have phones. Well, the handsets anyway, to use as mini tablets on WiFi at home, with no SIM cards. They are old phones of ours, not especially bought ones. All it would take is inserting a SIM into his, and he would be good to go.

Today, after much huffing and puffing, we decided to do the deed… stick that SIM into the slot… I had 2 pay as you go SIMS at home, as a bonus when I upgraded my latest handset.

What a letdown!

The phone needs unlocking first!

So that’s another job for tomorrow. Get the phone unlocked, sort the SIM card out, and then get ready for a barrage of WhatsApp messages from him. That is what he is so excited to do!

We have been over ground rules regarding the phone already.

He won’t have data, just WiFi access, to reduce the temptation to game or message on the go.
The WiFi will be there at home or his grandparent’s place.
At bed time, I get the handset to reduce the temptation to chat to his friends into the wee hours.
He gets it in the morning.
It is not to be used at school inappropriately, only looked at during break and lunch, if needed.

Well, they are the rules so far. And if he plays up, well, we just take the phone away!

And this leads me on to the biggest issue…

I don’t think I’m ready to send my Lil Man to Big School!

It’s especially hard as I have been near him all through his Primary education, teaching at the same institution. I knew everything, his teachers, what he was doing all the time, I knew if he needed me, I was just a few short steps away.

Now he is leaving me!

But I take solace in the thought that he is not nervous at all, really excited, and wanting to grow his independence. He’s excited to walk part of the way to school, I wanna drop him off! He looks forward to walking home at the end of the day with some of his friends. I want to know someone will pick him up.

But I will not voice these fears.

I want my boy to be confident. I want him to overcome his small stature by showing that he is more than capable. I am leaving the spoken worrying to his Dad and Grandma, who also want to keep him wrapped up in cotton wool, and are more vocal about it.

Oh, and starting Secondary School, will the next step be liking girls??? Even though he still says “Yuck!” at the thought of ever liking them, recently he has been doing sit ups, and wanting to develop a six-pack! (It’s more of a two-pack at the moment!)… more on that another time!

Wow, I waffled on loads there! Sorry Peeps!

I guess next week will have me recounting, second by second, how it felt to leave him at his new school, and not know ANYTHING! And then the anxious wait until I know hi[s home safe from his first day…

And you know I will have to introduce you to my class of this year!

A little pre-cap… my class is going to be 75% EAL, as in English as an Additional Language! 50% of my class are Punjabi! I know of at least one with possible special needs. They are all so tiny. But hopefully, no nappies this time!

So, wish me luck with the sewing, the naming, the letting go…

And please, you mums and dads out there, how did you cope when you child took their first steps into independence?

That Big Boy Of Mine

07 Sep 2016 32 Comments

by Ritu in Children, Thoughts Opinions & Memories Tags: Big Brother, Blog, Blog Post, Blogger, Blogging, Children, First Week, Lil Man, Proud Mum, Secondary school

I feel bad calling him Lil Man, but in stature he still is, so I guess I can carry on using the moniker!

Anyway, as you all know, he embarked on the next stage of his educational journey on Monday, starting BIG SCHOOL or secondary school.

I was so nervous. Much more nervous than him, or if he was, he did a great job of hiding his nerves!

But we walked in together, and he disappeared off…

He used his new mobile to text me at break, to say everything was ok, and let me know when he had lunch.

His grandad was there at the gate, waiting to pick him and they walked home with a few of the other boys he knows already, and their respective carers.

So my baby got home in one piece, with a big grin on his face!

And over the last 2 days, he has surpassed himself, in my eyes, anyway. He has come home with achievement points each day (one was an Ethos Award and the other a Star of the Class Award!), no forgetting anything, rudeness or bad behaviour, that would result in behaviour points, and 100% attendance, to all his classes.

How do I know?

Well, nowadays there is this whole system that is like Big Brother for schools!

His school sends all parents a special login to a service where we can see a child’s timetable, and each subject teacher registers them every lesson so you can make sure there is no truancy happening.

If you are like me and you worry, but don’t want to be too obvious, this site is perfect. If he forgets to text to say he arrived (which he has forgotten every day so far!) I can check to make sure he was registered initially.

I can see if there are any positive/negative points awarded, so they can’t hide that detention…!

Even their homework is on there so we know when things are set, and due. A good idea so you can give them gentle reminders to make sure they don’t forget. (forgotten homework is a behaviour point or even detention!)

We know when they have PE, so can make sure they always have the relevant kit in school. Sadly they don’t have lockers or even coat hooks, so this all has to be carried around on the day, along with the relevant subject books for that day.

And all his academic progress will be on there as they get assessed, for us to see.

I can pay online for his school dinners, if he wants them, so he doesn’t have to carry around money. They have their thumbs scanned at the beginning, so when they want to buy food, they scan their thumbs, and the relevant amount is deducted. And, I can check to see what feed items he has bought too, so if lunch is consisting of 3 desserts and chips, we can try and rectify that, because we know… no more fobbing mummy off with “I ate [insert all healthy food followed by a fruit dessert because that’s what mummy wants to hear!}”

We also have the ability to email their teachers directly of we have any worries. I did this today, to clarify a couple of points, and assured them I would not become one of those parents who is constantly on their case! And I got the most amazing reply back from one of his form tutors, telling me what a pleasure our son is to have in class, and how much they love to have him there! I’m not that naive that I would think my boy is something extra special to them. They probably would say the same for all the children, especially so early on in the year, but it still makes us feel so proud of him!

So, all in all, he has settled beautifully! And yes he has his phone, which he spent a few days going crazy on, WhatsApping his friends constantly, but the novelty has worn off now I thing

And yes he has his phone, which he spent a few days going crazy on, WhatsApping his friends constantly, but the novelty has worn off now I think, so it is there for the emergencies that I said he needed it for!

Signing off as a very happy mummy! 🙂

Bag of Nerves Emptied!

01 Mar 2016 93 Comments

by Ritu in Children, Thoughts Opinions & Memories Tags: Acceptance, Blog, Blog Post, Blogger, Blogging, Children, School, Secondary school

Can you tell from my Bitmoji’s what I am about to announce?

Firstly, thanks to you all for the good wishes/candles/prayers.

I spent part of this morning in tears at school, talking to colleagues, as I was so stressed, and worried about the outcome of the Secondary School admissions process.

Then I tried my hardest to forget until at least 4 pm as that was when the emails were rolling out…

So after despatching me afternoon crazies, It was around 3.50 pm, I thought i would check my mail.. obviously nothing was going to be there yet… but I saw an email from the Admissions team.

EEK!!!!

They were early!

I actually had to make my self sit down before opening the message as I was shaking.

Then I read it, and read it again. I closed it and then opened it again, and read it. I even got my colleague to read it to confirm.

HE GOT INTO HIS FIRST CHOICE SCHOOL!

The relief I felt was palpable! I nearly fainted!

Then obviously I had to go and find the Lil Man in question. His teacher, who knew how stressed I was, met me on my way, and gave me a great big hug!

Lil Man, well, I got him to read the message himself, and he literally jumped in the air and cried “YES!!!!”

It is a weight off our shoulders. I have told him that now he knows his destination for next year, he should be relieved, and that he must just try his hardest at school, which we know he already does, and just do his best. No more negativity, just positive vibes!

Our selection process works on many criteria, that the Local Authority set, and they include Children in care, special needs pupils, siblings, and distance, and if you have applied for a faith school, that is also something that gets taken into account.

So I was so happy that he got in, as I was aware that the school in question was oversubscribed, and that even though we were close, there were man children closer…

But ironically enough, I already know of 2 children who live closer who didn’t get in…

God, you were really looking down on us, and as I said before, all your thoughts and prayers must have played a part too!

The Next Big Decision

30 Sep 2015 56 Comments

by Ritu in Thoughts Opinions & Memories Tags: applications, Blog, Blog Post, Blogger, Blogging, children, Choices, forms, Secondary school

No, not a big decision concerning me, but more for Lil Man this time!

We’ve been through the whole 11+ shebang… and as you know, he didn’t take it. It wasn’t for him, and I feel that was the best decision him.

Now it’s that next step. Secondary school application time! Oh My Goodness! When did he become old enough that we now are applying for secondary school places for him??!!

Now, it’s a minefield out there. There are great schools, some close, some not. There are Ofsted reports to read, opinions to gather, from people whos children attend the schools, to the kids themselves, along with the thoughts of more ‘in the know’ professionals… I get that perk being a teacher, I can get more honest opinions from heads and teachers I know!

We have been advised to go to the open days, not only for the schools we are interested in, but also those that we are not planning on applying to, as you may get a different feeling once you are there, and more importantly, what is your opinion, may not be that of your child, who ultimately is the one who will be going there.

I have at least 4 open days in the next 9 days for us to attend. And I think I’m more nervous than Lil Man is!!! The deadline for the forms is still over a month away, but still, I’m petrified that I will muck something up!

Added to the application forms, certain schools have additional forms that need filling in too, like your faith schools, or those that have an allowance for talented children in certain subjects. Didn’t I say this is complex?!

I’ve been checking out the websites of schools. Printing forms and researching dates. The mind boggles!

This one decision could affect his whole life! I sincerely hope he gets the place we decide is the first choice, but the rest is in God’s hands, I guess…

Oh, and sitting there going over these things, I didn’t get to do the work I had hoped to do, for school. But at least it isn’t urgent!

The 11+ – To Sit or Not To Sit?

02 Feb 2015 6 Comments

by Ritu in Children, Thoughts Opinions & Memories Tags: 11+ Test, Blog, Blogging, children, Decisions, Opipinions, Secondary school

It’s got to that time in his life already… We need to help Lil Man make some decisions now, so we can fill in the relevant application forms in a few months time.
He has one year left after this one in Junior school and will then embark on his journey at ‘BIG’ school! Aaarrrgghh! When did he get old enough to do that? I’d love to keep him here, under my watchful eye, wrapped up in cotton wool but that is just silly, I know. The thought of big school and my petite Lil Man is scary enough, without the added stress of where to apply!
There are still Grammar Schools here in our area which children sit the 11+ for. Usually the more academic children go there, are pushed more. These are the kids who everyone expects to do well, go to university etc.
In our Indian culture, academia, studying, passing with flying colours is a great thing. Everyone wants their children to do well, regardless of their capabilities. I have seen, during my work at school, children tutored to to the end of their minds, to pass the 11+, only to gain entry into the hallowed Grammar School, and spend the next 7 years struggling.
But it’s ok, at least the parents can say with pride that their child has gone to Grammar!
This is where I am wondering, am I thinking right or wrong for my son? He is a bright little thing, loves reading and writing, tries so hard in Maths, enjoys the topic work he does, and excels at sports.
The thing is, though his enthusiasm is great, in Maths his actual achievement is not above average, or even average, for that matter. Though he loves what he does, is a little sponge, collecting facts and remembering them, he is not Mr Academic.
I know what Grammar School entails, and unless a switch flicks somewhere in his brain sometime soon, I fear if I push him to sit this test, after tutoring, and he somehow gets in, he will be the one who is at rock bottom in school, for the next 7 years.
Actually I don’t believe in tutoring to pass tests like these. If they need that much extra help, surely that indicates that it is possibly beyond a child’s reach?
I have bought him the home help books for the 11+ test, and I am fully behind him if he WANTS to take it. I’ll help him at home if that’s what it takes, but I can’t and will not force him.
If he doesn’t get to Grammar School who cares? Isn’t it better to go to one of the local schools, and be one of the above average, or average pupils, rather than spend a large chunk of his academic life feeling like he’s the thicko of the class?
I’d love some feedback on what you think…