Being Mum…

Thankful

Motherhood is a really special thing.  It’s also damn hard work too…

We are expected to be perfect mothers all the time, but it’s just not possible.

We all have those split second moments when we almost wish them away, for some peace and quiet.

Yes, it’s true, we ALL have those moments.

I don’t think I have met one mother who truly hasn’t had that thought at least once during her motherhood stint.  Of course, I don’t mean that you wish you had never had them, we love our children dearly, but as I said before, it is hard work…

With that in mind, I wrote something, it’s fictional, but I can relate to most of it, and have experienced similar emotions during my 14-year journey to become, and be a mother…

I sit and stare out of the window, trying hard to ignore the voice calling me. It seems never ending. No one told me it would be easy, but still, come on… 24 hours a day??!! Jeez! Give a girl a break!
“Mummy!!! I NEEEEED you!”
“Mummy!!! I’m HUNGREEEEEEEEY!”
“Mummy, I fell over!”
“Mummy!!!!”
It had been a long wait, a long time coming, this motherhood malarkey… Others always made it look so easy, you know, “Hey, we’re trying for a baby!”, or “Oh look, first time round, we got the test results we were hoping for!” or the “Well, we weren’t even trying, you know, I mean it’s only been 3 months since [insert any child’s name} was born… I’m just so fertile!”
But it isn’t really that easy, well I know we didn’t find it easy… and every month, seeing that awful one line on the tests that I had stock piled, rather than 2, was the most heart breaking time of my life. Why me? I had wanted to be a mum since I was a child myself. I knew that one day, that would be my forte in life, to be the BEST MUM EVER!!!!! But they forgot to send me the memo, that my body was crap, it wasn’t working like everyone else’s, and that I would have to endure so much heartache to eventually get where we are now.
4 years… 4 years of tests, injections, medications, false hopes, disappointments, then finally that positive was in my hand… And this was one that stuck. I was going to become a mother!
The cautious way we progressed through this pregnancy… I read all the books, took every precaution that we were advised to, and it was smooth sailing. The Big Dude, up there, must have felt some pity on me, with all the struggles we had been through, and he allowed me to have an almost textbook pregnancy.
The day came when our little miracle arrived, and boy did she arrive! 2 weeks early, but with a set of lungs on her! Wow! How did something so tiny manage to be so loud??? Still, this was our little lady, our baby, that we had been waiting for all this time, and she was perfect!
Fast forward 2 months…
It’s hard work, this being a mummy! He hasn’t got the boobs, so he can’t even feed her, and he is going to work in the mornings, so the night shift is well and truly mine… Then he goes off, leaving me with little Lady Lungs, who well and truly lets me know that she want attention… 24 hours a day! But hey, this is what being a mum is all about, right?
Another 6 months on…
She’s sitting! She’s eating! She’s not eating…She’s teething! She’s adorable! She’s crying again… What have I done wrong now? What did I do in my last life to get a baby that cries so much? I’m pretty sure none of the other babies at the baby groups we go to cry quite so much…. Five minutes, please, just five minutes… oh, and a whole night’s sleep would be good too….
3 years later…
I can’t believe she will be starting nursery soon… my little Princess, growing up so fast! Thank goodness I was able to be here with her all this time, and daddy had a job that allowed me to stay at home with her. But, if only she played nicely, without constantly calling me… oh, to have a cup of tea, still hot… Oh, and she still won’t sleep through alone… it is so hard… To have those few hours peace a day… I’m really looking forward to ‘me’ time!
A couple of months down the line…
Why didn’t she cry? I left her at nursery for the first time, and she didn’t cling to me, she wasn’t bothered at all! Why not? I have given all of my being, the last nearly 4 years of my life to her, and not one tear today… What? Did she use them all up, crying at me all the time before then??
Then she came back all smiles, with a ‘drawing’ of me… its beautiful… guess what, it’s me who’s crying now!

53 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Molly Hunter
    Jun 17, 2017 @ 12:52:40

    I’m about to be a first time mum and found this a great piece!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  2. Andrea A.
    Jun 07, 2017 @ 03:19:30

    We are all here unabashed as mothers. We are all just like you , wondering and losing our shit. Some days are ugly, our children are mirrors to our neglected selves, our hurt egos and it just sucks more days than others. As long as we as mothers wish to be the best version of ourselves over and over and be that person our children want to remember, it’ll all work out one day at a time.
    Great post my dear ….

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  3. Trackback: Being Dad… | But I Smile Anyway...
  4. reocochran
    Jun 06, 2017 @ 01:18:47

    Great post about motherhood with both the joys and the tears, Ritu. I love my grown children, two are parents. I have seven grandies. . . (My son married a woman with two kids and had three more. My daughter has two sons, “baby” daughter is 31 with no husband nor kids.)

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

  5. nimi naren
    Jun 05, 2017 @ 16:15:16

    Lovely Ritu

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  6. Fourth Generation Farmgirl
    Jun 05, 2017 @ 13:02:29

    Thank you for sharing your journey of challenges and rewards, Ritu. Really lovely. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

  7. Mann
    Jun 05, 2017 @ 09:27:35

    Every mom’s tale…

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  8. chiamakaa
    Jun 05, 2017 @ 06:45:03

    Beautiful.. am not a mum yet, but I love this…!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  9. Rajiv
    May 29, 2015 @ 11:07:46

    Hey… don’t forget us dads!

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

    • Ritu
      May 29, 2015 @ 11:20:12

      Of course! You dads do amazing jobs too!!! I just can’t write first hand about being one… As I haven’t been one lol!!! I might try to empathize one day tho…..

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

      • Rajiv
        May 29, 2015 @ 17:30:19

        Heh! Well, I have never been a mom. But, I do know, acknowledge and respect the role my wife plays in being the family glue, as well as the sacrifices she has made. She gave up her hot-shot career for the family.
        I think that men do not realise the important role that women play in raising the next generation

        Liked by 2 people

      • Ritu
        May 29, 2015 @ 17:32:21

        I am actually writing a ‘Being Dad’ post now, after your comment… Make sure you check it out!!! It might be totally inaccurate, but it’ll be my take on a man’s thinking through conception, pregnancy and early fatherhood!!! Hopefully I’ll post it later tonight!!!

        Liked by 1 person

      • Rajiv
        May 29, 2015 @ 17:36:09

        I will check it out!

        Liked by 2 people

  10. OldenGray
    May 29, 2015 @ 06:30:23

    A struggle with the largest rewards. Nicely done Ritu!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  11. Ann GrubbsnCritters
    May 29, 2015 @ 03:11:15

    The last sentence made me smile. Kids can be a monster…lovable monster. I have my days when I want to quit being a mom! :p

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  12. Shivangi
    May 28, 2015 @ 22:02:41

    Wow…just loved the way you wove this story. I relate to it completely and on top of that I have a baby too and their quarrels are something that makes me helpless 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  13. edwinasepisodes
    May 28, 2015 @ 20:42:42

    I can really relate to this Ritu as I thought I would never be a mum, and wasn’t until I was 37! I now have my little beauty even though she drives me mad sometimes! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  14. wafflemethis
    May 28, 2015 @ 20:41:54

    Another great piece from a great mum😊

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  15. The V-Pub
    May 28, 2015 @ 20:07:59

    Wonderful story! And so easy to relate to. Being a parent is the toughest, yet the most rewarding thing I’ve ever done and wouldn’t trade this experience for the world. Thanks for the reminder of that, Ritu.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  16. Erika Kind
    May 28, 2015 @ 20:07:23

    You just threw me back in time! I have to say I enjoyed every single step of all the three. But when the youngest was able to care for himself I felt like being born into a new world where I may make plans for myself again. It is wonderful that they all are almost grown up. I had the time when they were little and I loved it but now we are in a different stage and I love it a lot too!!!

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

    • Ritu
      May 28, 2015 @ 20:16:05

      There is definitely a love there for all stages, but those times when you feel alone, or that you just want to be you, not mummy, just for a day… Its there in all us mums, I’m sure, but some are scared to admit it! It’s human!!! 😊

      Liked by 2 people

      Reply

      • Erika Kind
        May 28, 2015 @ 20:24:11

        OMG… there were times I was completely overwhelmed with them. I was anything else but a good mom. I even posted it. Don’t know if you followed me already when I did. Therefor I understand the frustration. The good news definitely is that it is in all of us moms!! 😀

        Liked by 2 people

      • Ritu
        May 28, 2015 @ 21:17:41

        Yup, I thinkers are many who may feel bad because they think they shouldn’t have those feelings… I guess this is a way to let them know they aren’t alone! 😊

        Liked by 1 person

      • Erika Kind
        May 28, 2015 @ 22:10:41

        Exactly. Mostly they are ashamed and feel like they failed. That’s why they don’t talk about it and don’t know that others experience right the same. Great initiative, Ritu!!!

        Liked by 1 person

      • Ritu
        May 28, 2015 @ 22:14:52

        I’ll tell you something, when I was diagnosed with PSOS, no one wanted me to mention it… But I had nothing to hide. In fact I’d never heard of it before… So, for me, I felt I had to let others know about it, and after, I found out 2 girls in my family went and got checked, were also diagnosed, and went on to get treatment, and both have two beautiful children now. Who knows, if I hadn’t mentioned my situation to them, it may have taken longer for them to be diagnosed, and then even longer to start their families…
        So I’m all for being open, you might help someone with your honesty! 😊

        Liked by 1 person

      • Erika Kind
        May 28, 2015 @ 22:22:06

        THIS IS SO TRUE! We only can help making things better, when we talk about it. There is no need to be embarrased about anything. But spreading awareness can help. You experienced it in your own life!!!

        Liked by 1 person

      • Ritu
        May 28, 2015 @ 22:34:44

        My thinking exactly! ☺️

        Liked by 1 person

      • Erika Kind
        May 29, 2015 @ 06:36:43

        😉

        Liked by 1 person

      • Ritu
        May 29, 2015 @ 09:08:53

        😊

        Liked by 1 person

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