Day 23 of Linda’s #JusJoJan challenge hosted by the dear Judy Martin my blog sis! Find her here!
The Just Jot It January 23rd prompt, brought to you by Ritu of But I Smile Anyway is: “Compromise.” Use it any way you’re inspired to. And make sure you stop by and say hi to Ritu as well! Here’s her blog: https://butismileanyway.com/
Oh look, it’s my prompt! Oh well, here goes!
“Compromise. It’s another word to describe marriage.”
This was part of some advice I was given a few months before taking my nuptial rounds with Hubby Dearest.
And for all intents and purposes, it is very true, especially for us Indians.
I know it probably happens less now, but the usual system was that a couple got married, whether love or arranged, and then they lived with the in-laws.
This was exactly what we did too. It was no big deal, to be honest. It’s what all my cousins and other family members did too.
But the statement above helped me so much through my early married life. I can’t quite explain how, but I’ll try!
When you get married and move in with another family, it can be a culture shock, even when you are from the same background!
Each family has their own foibles, their own traditions and quirks, and as the bride, you have to be the one to go through all the changes to fit in with your new family.
It’s easier to be like them, instead of fight it, isn’t it?
Not really.
My mum always said to me to never lose myself once I got married. She was a really outgoing person and had so many aspirations, but due to the totally different mentality of her in-laws, she had to curb her personality, and desires, and be the good housewife, which she was, and is, to perfection. But in those days it was expected. There was no other choice if you wanted an easy life. She did eventually get to be more herself, but for a sizeable chunk of her married life, she was subdued.
The above advice made me realise that I had to be malleable. I had to be like a reed in the wind, blowing in the wind, bowing down, but not breaking.
Life was incredibly different for me when I got married, from the food that was eaten, to what was expected of me as a daughter in law.
I started by making huge compromises. I didn’t lose myself, but I simply put myself on hold, and dived deep into this new family life. I did all the things they wanted and hoped I would do. And once I got the trust of my new family, I started to change things.
Because I bent into their ‘shape’, it became easier to coax them to do things differently too. And therein lies the beauty of compromise.
If you learn how to use the art of compromising corrrectly, it may take a little time, but things become easier.
Compromise. It can be a wonderful thing! 🙂
The interest in the prize money piques the interest of many animals within the city, all hungry for either fame, or the money, or both, and a huge queue of auditionees assembles (rather like The X-Factor!)
